i haven't updated in a while whoops you can slap me if you want.
i think that this chapter is a little shorter than the others but. stuff happens so i guess that makes up for it. anyways.
enjoy :).
R
As far as Rin was concerned, the beds in her little dorm room were too far apart that night.
But as she peeked over at Len, buried beneath a heap of navy blue bedding, curled against the wall, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe he disagreed. If maybe, despite everything he'd said earlier, he didn't want to do it again, so to speak.
Was it the call with Anon? He'd seemed upset about that, those perfect blue eyes growing dark and eyebrows creasing. Maybe he'd heard more than he'd let on…
But Rin hadn't been lying when she'd said it was nothing to worry about.
Sitting up, Rin rubbed her eyes and clambered over to her desk, yanking her phone out of the charger before slumping back into bed, wrapping the bright blue sheets around her shoulders as the light from her screen pierced her eyes. Tapping on her messaging app, Rin scrolled through her texts with Anon, cringing over and over at what she'd sent. At what Anon had replied.
Their whole relationship had started in high school, like she told Len. Rin had been a reckless partier, a frequent at most of the bars that turned a blind eye to underage drinking, Friday nights full of liquor and punch and overly pungent perfume. She didn't know why she'd first started going, only that she went one time and couldn't stop, because despite the headaches and dropping grades there was something addicting about the feel of the dance floor, of the buzz rushing from her lips straight to her head, of the whole world being too bright for her eyes. As for what happened afterwards? Rin was always too drunk to care whose house she was brought to, whose room she was locked in. Not like she could ever remember when she woke up anyway.
But no matter how wonderful that rush of adrenaline felt at night, she hated the effects during the day. Hated the nausea and the dizziness and the way she was tired all the time like a dream she couldn't wake up from. Anon came into her life senior year, when her grades had already slipped too far to overlook, when her weekends were spent passed out on the couch, head throbbing and lips stinging. Not like her parents were around enough to notice, anyway, and she'd long since taken a hiatus with Rinnyrainbows.
Anon was different. Drop-dead gorgeous, smart, interested in her for more than just what they could do after the party. A reprieve from her usual pattern, and that was a good thing. But next to Len, Anon was nothing, nothing at all.
Rin groaned, diving under the blankets and burying her face in her multitude of fuzzy pillows, telling herself that she'd never, ever engage in a so-called open relationship again.
Before she could change her mind she swiped open her phone and sent a text to Anon.
i think i found someone. we're done, and i know this is cliche but can we stay friends?
The three dots popped up immediately, showing that Anon was replying, but Rin threw her phone across the room instead, listening to the clatter as it hit the wall and hoping that her chunky giraffe case would protect it. Somehow.
Without the phone clutched in her hands distracting her from the dark, the room was so, so cold, and even the blanket around Rin's shoulders couldn't warm her up.
"Len?" she whispered, turning to face his half of the room.
"Mm?" His reply was muffled from under his sheets, barely awake.
"Can I come over?"
"Mm."
The floor was icy against her bare feet and she slipped into his bed, not having to look to know that he was already blushing. Her head fit perfectly in the crook between his neck and his shoulder, like it had been made for her to sleep there, and she drifted off with a smile tugging her lips.
L
"I suppose that I'll see you in a few days, then?" Len's hand was on the cool doorknob again.
"Yeah," Rin said, nodding along blankly. "Yeah." She was still entangled in his navy blue bed sheets, a t-shirt hanging loosely off of her shoulders being the only other thing keeping her somewhat modest besides them. Len toyed with his suitcase's handle and pushed the door open, shivering as the cold air bit at his skin. Rin tugged the duvet around her tighter.
"Bye."
"Bye."
The walk to his car was painfully silent, foreign to him-he rarely traveled the campus without someone at his side. He shoved his bags into his Mustang's small trunk and fiddled with the car's radio as he pulled onto the road, already counting down the days until he would get to see Rin again. He could only dream that she felt the same. His phone rang from the cup holder to his right, and Len struggled to attend it.
"Leonardo!"
"Yohio."
"How long?"
Len stole a glance at his GPS.
"Uh. Two hours, maybe? That is, until I get to the airport. So...a long time."
He heard a sigh.
"It would help if you sped it up a little bit? Lily's been pestering me since the morning."
Len chuckled to himself.
"Tell her that I miss her too."
And he really did miss his niece, the one that resembled him more than her own father and clung to him like her life depended on it-and, come to think of it, Len felt that he, too, depending on Lily's presence, too.
"You know that won't work. Anyways. I don't wanna distract you."
"Yohio, wait-"
Are Mom and Father going to be at your house, too?
Yohio seemed to ignore him.
"Take care, Leonardo."
"It's Len," he grumbled, but the call had already ended. Len exhaled loudly.
The rest of the car ride was unenjoyable.
…
Yohio's house was nice. It had a white fountain that made water fall more gracefully than it would in a waterfall, a driveway big enough to fit at least ten cars with an abundance of garages to match, and stone pillars everywhere that did nothing but add to the house's elegance. Len was already jealous, and he didn't even have a house of his own yet. He pressed a finger to the expensive-looking doorbell. Not even a second later, a voice blared through the tiny speaker next to the bell.
"Leonardo! We haven't seen you for ages!"
The door swung open, and Len gulped as he faced the person who'd done so.
"Mom."
He was pressed into her so tightly that he wasn't able to breathe for a good few seconds. When he was released, he noticed with a snort that both he and his mother brushed out the wrinkles from their clothes out of habit. Mom straightened the sleeves of her dress.
"You look so much bigger!"
"You saw me six months ago, Mom. I don't believe that I've grown any bigger."
He shifted and looked over his Mom's head (he had surpassed her five-foot-five height by a good foot, now) and almost fainted when he met a pair of too-familiar deep blue eyes.
"Leonardo."
Len, he wanted to correct, but he stopped himself. He wasn't up for a "respecting your elders" lecture just yet. Not now, not when he'd just so recently escaped them for good. Len dug his shoe into the lavish-looking rug underneath his feet, avoiding Father's gaze. Why he was allowed to call Mom "Mom" and not Father "Dad" was still a mystery to him.
"How are you?"
It took a good amount of effort for Len to face his dad.
"I'm fine." He swallowed. "You?"
Father brushed off his question.
"How's Vanderbilt treating you? Are your marks good?"
Len's eyes flickered from the Burberry embroidery on Father's button-up, to the Gucci logo on his belt, and to the Prada sign embellished onto the sides of his rimless glasses. Since when were his parents that wealthy? How were they this wealthy at all? They'd been well-off when Len and Yohio were children, sure, but to the point of wearing all-designer clothes was another thing…
"Leonardo!"
Len flinched. That was why. Yohio. Perfect, perfect Yohio. Yohio who went to Columbia, Yohio who knew where he wanted to be in life, Yohio who was always just too good, too good for Len to beat, too good for Len to beat and avoid the much-too-frequent slaps to the wrists and punishments and lectures.
Perfect, perfect Yohio. He felt resentment nip at his thoughts, and it was tough to push them aside. He gave a small smile and weakly punched Yohio's outstretched fist.
"Hello."
Yohio grinned at him, but Len could still feel Father's gaze on his back.
"You haven't answered my question."
"Leonardo. Let him settle in before you start prodding."
Len wasn't sure if Mom was addressing him or his dad-another reason he felt obligated to shorten his birth name to the way it was now, asides from the the bitter memories it brought along with it and the mostly-true excuse he gave to Rin for it sounding lame.
Rin.
He wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice, to hear her laugh, even if it had only been a few hours since he'd last seen her, but he didn't. He didn't want to seem desperate, or too clingy, or be a burden. He could last a couple of more days until he could talk to her.
He could.
…
Len resisted the strong urge he had to pull his hair out of the braids it had been placed in and scrape off the nail polish on his left hand. He eyed Lily, who was busy painting Len's right fingernails a shade of pink so obnoxiously bright that he was surprised that Rin didn't own anything in the color. His eyes drifted to the TV, displaying a bright array of colors and animated animals. His phone dinged, and he picked it up, cautious of the still-wet polish on his hands. A text from Rin. He almost squealed. It had been three days since he'd left their dorm, three days since he'd last spoken to her. He tapped on the messaging app.
hey
how's your fam treating u
Hello :)
Fine
Lily's turning me into a girl :(
who's lily
My niece :)
you have a niece
Len's fingers hovered over the digital keyboard on his screen as he was about to tap out a reply, but his phone buzzed and rang, and Rin's contact appeared on the screen.
FaceTime call from Rin
He clicked on the accept button.
R
Rin's hands were shaking.
Literal, earthquake-tremor-esque shaking. And it wasn't pleasant.
Len's face popped up on her phone before she could change her mind and hang up the FaceTime call, but already worms of regret were weaving their way through her stomach.
She was an idiot. A stupid, fucking idiot.
Len's voice startled her internal tirade. "Sorry about my hair," he blurted. "Lilly wanted to, and I couldn't say no to her..."
Rin glanced up from her peach-colored nails that she'd been picking at, and for the first time in days let out a genuine laugh at the sight of Len's blond hair done up in tiny little braids, tied with bright pink elastics that her younger self would approve of.
"It's okay. You look hot."
Len looked away, his neck turning a shade to rival a beet, and Rin smirked to herself. Until her gaze fell back on her nails, the sides messy from where her hand had slipped in painting them, and she remembered. Len was still talking about Lilly, some other irrelevant thing that was so sweet coming out of his mouth, in his voice, but only made her heart hurt.
There was no beating around the bush, she decided. There was no way to pretend it hadn't happened, because it had, and there was no changing that. Rin stared at her right hand, her ring finger and pinkie's nails still undone because she'd forgotten to paint them in her stupor. She was so careless. So careless that she'd only managed to make mistake after mistake after mistake. Rin grabbed the polish off her nightstand, flopping onto her bed as she twisted open the tube. "Len. Listen to me."
He stopped at her interruption, looking startled. "What is it?"
Inhale. Exhale. And again. "Did you use—you know—protection, at the party? Kaito's friend's party?" Not exactly the words she'd planned to say, but they tumbled out of her mouth anyway.
"What? Rin, what are you talking about?"
Rin didn't look at his face on her screen, didn't lift her gaze from her nails. One swipe, two swipes, three. Her ring finger nail was peach now, barely messy. An accomplishment. "Did you?" she repeated, quieter. "'Cause I didn't. I stopped taking birth control after Anon, 'cause I wasn't sleeping with random guys anymore and going to parties and I didn't think I was gonna have a baby and I didn't expect this... Fuck, what am I saying, Len? I'm pregnant."
There was silence on the other side for a while.
"Pregnant?" His voice was incredulous. "What—when—how—is this a joke?"
"It's not a fucking joke!" Rin was screaming, and her words were coming out blurred and stumbled and messy but she didn't care, nothing mattered as long as her pinkie nail was filled in perfectly with peach-colored polish and Len wasn't mad. If Len wasn't mad then the world would stop spinning so fast that she couldn't catch up and everything would be okay because he would make everything okay. Right?
"Rin, calm down, how do you know?" He wasn't panicking, no, he was looking at her like she was crazy and she didn't know which was worse.
"I skipped my period," she said, her chest rising and falling at the speed of light, eyes blurring with hot tears. "I never skip my period. I haven't skipped my period since fifth grade, and it means I have your baby, how could you do this to me?!" She was hysterical by now, and something inside of her said to calm down, to quiet down, that someone would hear and be worried but it wasn't like there was anyone at home to hear or worry or care. She pressed her hands over her stomach, wet nail polish streaking on her yellow sweatshirt. I promise, she thought to herself, I promise I'll be a better parent than Mama and Daddy, I promise.
And then she burst into tears again because here she was, in college, pregnant with a baby from a guy she wasn't married to and trying to reassure herself that somehow she was going to be a good parent. Every day it felt like her life became more and more of a lie.
"Hey." Len's voice was rough. "Did you get a, I dunno, test or something? Or is this"—he bit his lip, seeming to be searching for the right word—"assumption just based on your, um, ah, girl stuff?"
Test. Rin scrubbed at her eyes, suddenly overcome by humiliation as she stared at Len's face on her phone screen and the peach nail polish that she'd spilled all over her duvet and sweatshirt. A pregnancy test. Why hadn't she thought of that? God, she was such an idiot.
Len smiled, a little tilt of his lips. "Good to know."
"I didn't even answer you, stupid."
"But I could tell. From your face." Len grinned. "And because I know you well enough to know that you probably did not." He pushed his glasses up his nose.
"Shut up. Shut. Up."
"Are you sure you're not on your period? I heard it makes people moody..."
Rin glanced up at Len in surprise before a giggle bubbled out of her mouth at the sight of his bright red cheeks. "Did you just make a period joke?"
She was laughing too hard at his expression to hear if he replied.
L
Somehow, the air had turned even chillier by the time Len's hand was back on the cool doorknob, and unzipped his puffer jacket as he stepped in.
Rin wasn't there.
Len bit the inside of his cheek. It was fine if she wasn't always in her dorm. She had other friends, too, besides him-she was Rin. He would be surprised if he found anyone who didn't find themselves drawn to her bubbly personality.
Friends that she preferred over him, it seemed.
He felt a tap on his shoulder and he whacked it away out of instinct, and then he heard that all-too-familiar chuckle behind him.
"You're funny, Len."
Len smiled. He wanted to hug her. To kiss her. To…
To do all the things that would be completely unwanted by her.
He felt a pair of thin arms snake around his torso.
"Welcome back." He could feel her warmth even through his thick sweater. He held onto her back hesitantly, slowly.
Is this okay?
"I missed you." He found the words tumbling out his mouth. He wasn't supposed to say that. Rin snuggled closer into his chest.
"Me too, Lenny. Me too."
They stayed like that for a while, the door still open and turning their faces pink from the cold, standing until their legs begged for mercy. But Len was fine with that, because he was with Rin.
With Rin, everything was always good.
.
oof. i love len. so. i've said this before but this story was co-written by silverxrose and she wrote rin's parts so yeah. her writing is like. wow. amazing. she doesn't post anything on her account though so :/. and thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed/reivewed you're amazing too. anyways.
thanks for reading :).
