Chapter 11 - A secret revealed
May 1976
The spring had come to Scotland and the moors were green and fresh again. The evenings were getting warm and light and it was no longer necessary to keep inside the castle all the time.
Bellatrix was half-lying in a resting chair at one of the balconies with a thin blanket over her lap. A frown was painted over her forehead. She would take her NEWTS in a few days, but that didn't bother her. She held a letter in her hand that was badly written and completely irrational. There was an almost hysterical tone in it.
I feel like my heart is wrenched out of me. I feel like I am constantly under the cruciatus curse. I can't stand the thought of you with him. I can't stand to think that he will touch you. My heart dies every time I see you smile at him. I am torn into pieces when you look at each other. I want you more than anything in this world. I would kill you before I let you choose him. I would kill him too rather than let him have you. I don't care that he is my brother. I don't care what the Lord says. I will challenge him to a duel and kill him and then you will be mine. If you say you want him I will kill myself. I will ask someone to give me the killing curse...
Bellatrix put the letter down and sighed. She had always known that Rabastan Lestrange was dramatic and not very bright, but this was just too much. However, she knew that he might very well be serious about his threats. And that would not be good at all, neither for her nor for their cause. Her lovely little game was getting dangerous.
Bellatrix had turned eighteen just a couple of weeks ago. An owl had arrived carrying expensive birthday presents from the Lestranges. One of them was a small box. It contained a ring of silver with a green emerald. Along with it came a letter where the oldest son of the house of Lestrange had asked her if she would do him the great honour of becoming his wife.
It was just what she had been waiting for. She had spent a lot of time at Chateaux Lestrange during the spring and Rudolphus had not done much to hide his interests. But strangely enough, the thought of marriage did not seem quite so important to her anymore. Ever since she met Him, she had felt that there were more significant things in the world.
Still, she knew what was expected from her by her family. The problem was that Rudolphus wasn't the only Lestrange who wanted her hand.
Bellatrix had enjoyed being desired by two men and the jealousy between them. It was exciting and stimulating. But as time went by, they had been making more and more trouble. Above all, it was Rabastan who couldn't control his temper. He had thrown tantrums, set ultimatums, demanded that she would chose one of them... him.
She supposed it was time to put an end to the matter. She had no reason to wait or hesitate. Lestrange was a great pureblood family, in every inch as noble as the Blacks and they had money and connections and properties that agreed with her taste. And He favoured them, which was worth more than anything else. Besides, she really needed to marry and prove to Lucius Malfoy that she had no trouble getting a man even if he had thought she wasn't good enough for him.
She had to choose one of the brothers, but unfortunately, neither of them was perfect.
Rabastan was without doubt the most handsome of the brothers and he was closer to her age. They would make an attractive couple, she supposed, at least on the outside. The problem was his fierce temper and his emotional nature. He could be trouble. His older brother Rudolphus would probably be much easier to control and he was the heir to the house and the lovely chateaux. Unfortunately he was quite a lot older than her and his body had become soft and thick over the years.
Bellatrix cringed. Somewhere, beneath her sober thoughts, she felt a tiny twinge of revolt. She didn't feel very tempted by either of the Lestranges. Perhaps He had made her see things differently? Perhaps she was comparing all men to him? Perhaps it was him she really wanted?
She knew that she never would. He was off limits. He was not an earthly man to her or anyone of his followers. He would not want her, not in that way.
Once again, she read through Rabastan's hysterical letter and rolled her eyes. Men really were stupid creatures sometimes. She guessed she had to hurry and make her choice. He certainly wouldn't appreciate a fratricide among his followers.
There was a tense, concentrated atmosphere among the students from the fifth year. This was the day they had been apprehending for so long, the day they would take their OWL – tests. The past weeks, all social activities had been abandoned. There had barely been time to eat or sleep. Everyone had been focused on the tests, well aware that this was something that could decide their future.
After the first half of the day, Andromeda's brain was already starting to ache. She knew she would probably be a wreck at dinner time. The last test had been wizard history and her head was still spinning with important dates and events. She had an hour's lunch break before the rest of her tests would take place and she knew very well that she needed to eat and drink and get some rest in order to rebuild her energies.
On her way to the dining room, she bumped into Narcissa who joined her. Her sister seemed to be in a happy mood and Andromeda knew the reason. Sirius was also taking the tests and now that they were soon to be over, he would hopefully have more time for her.
"So, what's your feeling so far?" asked Narcissa curiously.
Andromeda shrugged. "Oh, I think I have done rather well. I am just worrying about the DADA test this afternoon." She sighed tiredly as she thought about it. "I sure am glad this will be over soon."
"Don't worry, it will be all right," Narcissa assured her with sisterly support. "You'll have at least seven excellent grades. And now summer is almost here. Soon, we will be on our holiday. And don't forget the Quidditch World Cup!" She sighed happily by the thought of all the time she would spend with Sirius.
"I haven't. So, have you seen Bella today?"
Narcissa cringed. "When do we ever get to see her these days?"
"No, of course that's right." Andromeda sighed. Bellatrix had been distant from them the last few months, not just physically but also emotionally. She left the school for long periods of time and while she was there, she always seemed to be somewhere else in her mind. "I wonder if she is ever going to tell us what she is up to?"
"It's some man, I guess," said Narcissa. "But it doesn't seem like she is in love..."
"Whether or not she is in love with him is probably the last thing Bella would care about when it comes to choosing men."
Narcissa laughed lightly, though she knew that Andromeda was only telling the truth. They kept walking along the corridor and she peered carefully at her older sister. "You and Sirius haven't really talked a lot lately either, have you?"
Andromeda's face stiffened. "I don't think he wants to talk to me," she said quietly.
"I think he misses you," Narcissa told her gently. "If you'd just walk up to him, I am sure he would warm up."
"Did he tell you that?"
"He doesn't have to. I know him."
Andromeda frowned and was about to answer, when a tall, thin form brusquely pushed himself past them and towards the stairs. His long and unwashed black hair hid his face, but Narcissa recognized him immediately.
"Severus!" she said in alarm. "What's happened? What is it?" She tried to grab his arm, but he jerked himself free and ran. Andromeda noticed that his robes were dirty and that his face was flushed in red.
"I'll tell you what happened to him," said a voice behind them. Narcissa and Andromeda whirled around. Lily Evans was standing by the bottom of the stairs and her green eyes were blazing with anger. "He was attacked by those so called Marauders down by the lake. They decided to have some fun by letting him hang upside down for a while."
Andromeda blinked in surprise. "What? Not..."
"Oh, yes, it was that James Potter of course," said Lily, her voice thick with contempt. "Who else would think he's got the right to do whatever he wants to other people as soon as he is bored? He and his good friends Pettigrew, Lupin and of course, your lovely cousin..."
"What?" Narcissa stared at Lily in disbelief. "You must be wrong."
"Oh, believe me, I saw him. He didn't do anything to stop his best mate from torturing old Snivelus. Four against one seems fair and well, doesn't it..."
"You are lying," Narcissa interrupted her angrily. "Sirius wouldn't do that."
Lily looked surprised at her fierce reaction. "I know he is your cousin, but there is no need to be blind. Everyone knows that he is just an arrogant bully who..."
"Just shut up!" snapped Narcissa. Menacingly, she took a step towards the Gryffindor girl, her hand reaching for her wand. "Don't you dare talking like that about him, you stupid mudblood!"
Andromeda managed to grab her sister's shoulder. "Narcissa, please calm down. This won't help." She gave Narcissa a look as if to remind her that Lily didn't have any idea that she was betrothed to their cousin.
Narcissa looked like she didn't know what to do or what to believe. Her face was full of anger and confusion as her eyes roamed back and forward between Lily and Andromeda. Finally, she turned on her heel and left them, heading for the Slytherin student house.
Andromeda glanced anxiously after her sister. Then she turned back to Lily Evans, feeling deeply embarrassed. "Please excuse her. Sirius is... a sensitive subject."
Lily had pinched her lips tightly together. "No, excuse me. I guess I forgot I was speaking to one of the pure Blacks."
Lily also turned and left for her own student house. Andromeda sighed deeply. As soon as one conflict had died, another seemed to be rising. As she raised her head, she noticed Sirius coming in through the main entrance, along with his friends and suddenly she felt a wave of anger in her body.
"Did you enjoy your lunch break?" she asked sarcastically as she walked up to him. He looked up in surprise, since they had barely said two words to each other during the last few months. "I have heard about what sort of fun you and your friends like to engage in. Are you in the right spirit for the rest of the tests now?"
"Andromeda..." he started roughly, looking slightly embarrassed.
But Andromeda was not in the mood. "You are such a hypocrite, do you know that?" she spat. "You are in a group to keep people like Regulus from attacking the muggle born students, but apparently it's quite all right for you and your friends to strike out against the members of Slytherin just as you like."
Sirius gritted his teeth together and made a gesture to his friends to leave them alone. Finally, he bent over closely, his grey eyes glittering with anger. "I haven't asked for your opinion," he said coldly. "Besides, he deserved it."
She nodded sarcastically. "Oh, I am sure he did. Four against one are always the best odds, aren't they?" He blushed and she used the opportunity to strike even harder. "I just don't understand how your brain is working? He is Narcissa's friend in case you didn't know that. Was that why you attacked him? To scare her away?"
"Stop it," he said angrily, though his face was still red. "This has nothing to do with Narcissa."
"Fine," snapped Andromeda. "You tell her that." Glaring at him one last time, she left to finally go and get her lunch.
Narcissa had run after Severus and cached up with him inside the Slytherin common room, just as he was about to flee up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. "Severus! Wait! Are you okay?" she asked him with concern, panting after her run up the stairs.
He glanced coldly at her, his face hard and resolute. "I didn't need you to follow me, Narcissa."
"I had to see for myself what happened. Are you hurt? Should I get Madam Pomfrey?"
"I am fine. Don't bother." He tried to shake off her hand, but she held on to him.
"No, I want to know... That girl..." She made a face of dislike. "Evans or whatever her name is. She said that you had been in some sort of... trouble. She said that Sirius was involved." She looked unsurely at him.
"That mudblood didn't have to tell you anything."
"Was he?"
Severus was quiet for a moment. "Yes," he finally admitted flatly. "He and James Potter and the others."
Narcissa swallowed tightly. "It must have been Potter who was behind it. I've always thought he is an idiot."
"Well, yes," said Severus ironically. "Birds of a feather flock together, don't they?"
She flinched. "Stop it. Sirius is not like Potter."
"Yes he is. They are like Siamese twins actually."
"Sirius is..."
"He is an arrogant, conceited ass, just like his friends." Severus voice was brutal.
"He is not!" said Narcissa fiercely. "Potter and the others have a bad influence on him. He would never have attacked you if it weren't for them."
Severus watched her indignant face with deep revolt. "This has got nothing to do with what happened to me. I am getting sick of hearing you defending that twat. You just refuse to see what he is like. Do I have to slam the truth in your face?"
"I am not going to listen to this," said Narcissa angrily. "He is my betrothed and I..."
"Yes, yes," Severus finished dismissively. "You love him. Let's just hope he won't bring home his freak friends to number 12 Grimmauld Place in the future."
"I don't like Potter any more than you do..."
"Not Potter," Severus said coldly. "Lupin."
Narcissa frowned. "Lupin? Remus Lupin? What do you mean?"
"Nothing. I just thought he would have told you that one of his best mates turns into a werewolf once a month."
Every trace of colour vanished from Narcissa's face. "You are lying," she whispered hoarsely.
"Am I?" Severys shrugged. "Suppose you will have to ask him then. Being the noble person he is, I am sure he will tell you the truth. At least about that." Giving her one last, contemptuous look, he walked away from her up the stairs.
Andromeda was on her way back to business after the short lunch break but she felt nervous and jittery. In a way, she was happy that she had managed to stand up to Sirius, but she still couldn't help feeling guilty. Perhaps she had just made everything worse?
Still, she tried to force all thoughts of him out of her head. She needed to stay focused if she wanted to achieve a good OWL result.
When she hurriedly passed a corner, she suddenly ran into someone. When she looked up, she was met by a familiar face. "Oh, hallo," she said in embarrassment, quickly taking a step back.
Ted Tonks looked surprised to see her, but nodded politely at her. "Hi."
"Are you doing okay?" asked Andromeda, merely because she needed something to say.
"I hope so at least. But I am afraid I will fail in wizard history."
"Oh..." Andromeda tried to smile in a normal, good-natured way. But every time she met him, she would always feel bothered and unhappy. "Well, it's nice that summer is almost here, isn't it?"
"Yes, it really is." They looked quietly at each other. The silence became awkward. "Well, I guess I should go..." He turned to leave.
But Andromeda just couldn't hold back. "Ted!" she said shrilly.
He turned back. "What?" His tone of voice was reserved and his eyes were cautious. Still, he looked very interested to hear what she had to say.
Andromeda blushed and swallowed tightly. She had such little time to spill out everything that she wanted to say. "I... I was just going to say that I... I have been thinking about you. A lot. And... I just want you to know that."
Ted watched her quietly. "What are you going to do this summer?"
His question surprised her. "Stay with my parents in London most of the time I think. Then she suddenly had a thought. "But we will be going to the Quidditch World Cup in August."
"Are you?"
"Yes." She glanced carefully at him. "Are you... are you going? It's in Austria you know."
He nodded slowly. "Yes. I think me and Rajan and a few other friends will go there."
"Oh... Well, perhaps we'll meet then."
"Yes."
When they left in opposite directions, Andromeda felt something stinging in side her. Why did she have to go when there was so much more left to say?
I made my choice, didn't I?
It was late in the evening. The OWL tests were finished and the students from the fifth grade were sprawled out over the school yard, looking like dead rags. Most of them had collapsed on the lawn.
Narcissa moved with short, fast steps towards a small group of boys. Usually, she would keep at distance when he was with his friends, but tonight, nothing would stop her. "Sirius," she said loudly. "I have to talk to you." She took care to look directly at him and not at any of the others.
Sirius looked surprised and a bit awkward. "Can't it wait?"
"No, it can't," Narcissa said firmly. "I need you now!" she added sharply when he didn't react.
Her voice accepted no arguments and Sirius immediately flew to his feet. He almost had to run to keep up with her as she led the way to a closed area of the school, among a few unkempt trees.
"What's wrong?" asked Sirius. "Did something happen?"
Narcissa swallowed hard, trying not to loose the courage she had scrounged up. "I have heard... something that I couldn't believe..."
"What?"
"Your friend... Remus Lupin. Is he... is he a...a..." She hardly even dared to say the word. "A werewolf?"
Sirius face turned pale and he looked angry. "Who told you that?" he demanded
"What does it matter? I want to know, is he?"
"It was Andromeda, wasn't it?" Sirius shook his head in fury and cursed under his breath. "Damn that little bitch. I knew I should have oblivated her."
Narcissa's eyes widened. "Andromeda knows too? And you haven't told me?"
Sirius shrugged off her accusations. "If Andromeda didn't spill it, then I want to know who did, Narcissa!" he said sharply.
"Why should I tell you?" snapped Narcissa, turning away from him. "You don't mind lying to me."
Something flashed deep within Sirius' eyes. He roughly grabbed her and spun her back, pinning her up against one of the trees. He brought his face close to hers. "I won't ask again; who told you?"
"Let go of me!" cried Narcissa, pushing against his chest, but he was much stronger than her and his anger seemed to have given him even greater powers. He held her arms hard enough to give her bruises.
"Then tell me!" he screamed. Narcissa stopped fighting, shocked at his outburst. This was a side of him she had never seen before. She had heard his parents complain about his fierce temper, but she had never believed that he would behave like this. It was as if he had ceased to be Sirius and forgotten who she was too.
Sirius watched her shocked face and suddenly let her go. "Oh, I should have known," he spat. "Old Snivelus never learned not to stick his long nose into other people's business. I'll kill him!"
Narcissa felt a lump in her throat. "You have already tried that once today, haven't you?" she accused him.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what I mean. That Evans girl told me everything." She gave him a look full of disappointment. "She didn't lie, did she?"
Sirius looked torn between fury and shame. "We didn't hurt him. Besides, he deserved it."
"Oh, I am sure he did," said Narcissa with bitter sarcasm. "I know how fair you guys are."
Sirius eyes narrowed. "Are you siding with him?"
"Why not?" she asked him harshly. "Everything else he said was true, wasn't it?" Once again, she turned away from him.
She felt him watching her for a long time as his breathing slowly returned to normal. Finally, she felt his hand on his shoulder. This time he felt like she was used to. "Narcissa," he said gently. "Remus is a werewolf. I haven't told you and I haven't told anyone else either. Andromeda found out by accident. Dumbledore doesn't want it to come out over the school because he knows how frightened people would get. Me and James and Peter, we help him during his transformations. We can control it."
Narcissa bit her lip tightly. "But if you were bitten..."
"I won't be," he assured her. "I can handle it, I promise."
Narcissa glanced at his face. It was sincere. It was the face she was used to, the face she loved to bits. "I am sorry..." she said. "When I heard the word "werewolf", I just freaked out."
"I would probably have done the same."
"I am sorry," she repeated, taking his hand. "I should have trusted you more. I really didn't mean to..."
"Narcissa." Sirius shook off her hand. "You have nothing to apologize for. It is me who is the asshole. Just look at how I treat you... I am a selfish, uncaring pig, nothing else. I am..."
"No." Narcissa wrapped her arms around him, burying her face by his shoulder. "Don't ever say that, Sirius. You are not."
But even as he held her, she could tell that he didn't agree with her.
