Romania's P.O.W.

Another day, another pain. Why I did this? What's happening to me? How did it started? First I snapped, then I ''saw'' Hungary now this! What did I do wrong, I just want an answer, nothing more. I simply can't go to a meeting or anywhere else due to this addiction to feel pain that conforts me. I just want everything to stop.

But my thoughts are suddenly broken by a knock on my door. I must take my antidepressants, my clothes and pack my things, putting a razor and the antidepressants. Slowly opening the door, my heart starts beats faster tan a rabit's. But it starts to fade away as I see Bulgaria in the front of the door. He is dressed quite casual for this useless meeting, and he knows that we are the disappointments of the EU. The only thing elegant on his outfit is the shirt, combined with the jacket to look like that guy from that anime*. But he looks quite worried that usual. What happened? Why is he so worried?

''Romania, are you okay?'' asked Bulgaria, with a worried tone.

''Uuuuggh. Yes, why?'' I answered him back.

''Belgium told me yesterday that you had an illusion seeing Hungary.''

''Wait, how did she told you?''

''She called on my phone. She knew that we're best friends and knew that I can help you.''

''It's nothing, Bul. Don't worry. I was just stressed after all.'' I said these hard words, knowing that I'm breaking apart. But I don't want to tell him, I'll just make him even more worried and to tell anyone about my state.

We arrive just in time, seing that Italy, Spain, Romano and Denmark haven't arrived yet. Thank god that Germany didn't yell at me again and Bulgaria was surprisingly welcomed kindly. We get to our places and the meeting starts. I stay near Bulgaria, finally feeling safe. But I still have the sensation that everyone is watching me. Why are the walls melting? Why is everyone looking at me? Why are they aproaching me? I start to hear ''die'', ''kill yourself'', and ''do it'', along with a familiar feeling that I had when I was with Belgium in the park. No, it can't be! There is Hungary holding my neck and she puts me on the ground along with Austria. Then Russia appears and they start to beat me. I feel the need to scream but my voice fells like it's faltering. Each second they hit harder and I hear these words of death again, contributing to my despair.

''STOOOOOP!'' I screamed loudly, making everyone silent, althrough my scream is still echoing.

''Ro, I'm here'' said Bulgaria, pulling me into a hug.

''What happened?'' I asked.

''You started to look shocked, stressed and to hyperventilate, then you screamed, making everyone silent.'' said Belgium.

''I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Forgive me! Please I didn't mean it! I just-''

''Ro, I think you should go home,'' suggested Bulgaria, worried.

''No, I'll be fine, I just need to go to the bathroom.'' I protested, hoping that these questions will stop.

I go to the bathroom and wash my face with icy water. Then I feel again the need to feel the pain. I slowly take the razor out of my bag and start to penetrate my hand. I don't know why I'm doing this, but it feels so good and...calming. It just takes the pain away in what people calm it a ''harsh way''. Then I snap to reality when I see the doorknob moving. I quickly clean and bandage my hands and wash my face, processing what happened. And there appears Bulgaria, coming after me.

''Hey, Ro. How are you feeling. Wait, isn't that a razor in your hand?'' he asked.

''I didn't have scissors so I had a razor to cut this roll of tissue.'' I said, knowing that he is about to discover what I'm really doing.

''OK. Let's go back to the meeting.''

''Wait, Bul. Will anyone hurt me?''

''Romania, is this connected to your vision of Hungary that you had it yesterday?''

''Yes, it is.'' Then I prepare to tell him about my problems, and he starts to comfort me, saying that everything will be fine, while going to the meeting room.

It wasn't long until the meeting was over. I exit the building like anybody else, and I sit on a bench to process what happened. How this happened? Why I imagine everyone hurting me? What's happening to me?

My thoughts are again disrupted by a message on my phone. It looks like England wants a Magic Trio reunion. I haven't see them in a while. Probably I should talk to them about my problem.

Well, I'm at the door, with an anxious feeling that something is not right. But I open the door anyways. I see Norway and England sitting on the couch, discussing what they did last time. I don't know if I should tell them about my problems. Probably I should tell them, maybe they will understand and eventually find a solution.

''Hey, guys. How are you?'' I asked, joining the conversation.

''Fine, why do you asked?'' answered Norway in his cold tone.

''I need to tell you something, but don't be mad.''

''Tell us, Ro. You know that we aren't jerks,'' said England.

''Well, I started to have hallucinations about death, how Hungary, Russia and others were beating me. I don't know why, I just want to stop.'' I told them, which makes me cry uncontrolably.

''Romania, why didn't you told us, we could've help you. Don't worry, all will be fine.'' said England, sounding calm yet stern.

We go to our room to perform a spell that may help me, but I doubt that it will make that much. I hear Norway and England reading the incantation, while a lavander energy starts to swirl around me. Then it turns into a beautiful woman, looking slightly like my mom, Dacia*, and starts to dance and pulling me to join her. Finally, the ''woman'' starts to hug me, making me feel safe. I start to cry, suddenly remembering the best things that we did together, before my eyes blurred and finally losing my conscience.

I manage to wake up, but I feel something soft below my head, then I see that I'm in the guest's room with England and Norway staying by my side. I feel again my tears rolling down to my cheeks without knowing why, and jump in their arms.

''Don't worry, we're here.'' said Norway.

''I'm sorry! I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what happened.''

''Did it worked?'' asked England.

''Yes, I really feel much better. Thanks guys!'' I thanked them.

''As I told you, we aren't bloody jerks.''

''I should go home. Thanks again.'' I said.

''Okay, See you next time!'' said England.

After arriving in Bucharest and buying some food from the grocery store, I can finally go home. The streets are beautifully illuminated, looking like a dream city. I feel very happy that my people are sleeping peacefully, but I others in the front of People's House, protesting against this shitty corruption*. I manage to join them, not being upset about my presence at all. I hate this situation in my country, because this ruins me, my people, and the peace. This may give my people hope to destroy this chaos.

Suddenly, I am dragged by cold hands into a dark area. There are Hungary, Russia and Belarus, staring at me and ready with some weapons. Hungary starts to hit me harshly with her frying pan, Russia with his pipe and Belarus stabs me in my stomach. They also hit me with their feet and hands. I can feel the blood rolling on my hands, nose, mouth, feet and stomach. I hear my blood and tears licking onto the ground, along wth the hopelessness that enters in my soul. But they stop and tell me that I'm a mistake, a failure, nobody loves me, I shouldn't be on this planet and that I should kill myself and go to the airport. I manage to get up, even if my body is falling apart. I see a girl and a boy standing in front of me, who watched the whole thing. They want to help me but I tell them that I'm okay and they were happy to see me at the protest and that I'm actually a good boy.

I finally arrive at home, the best place in the world. Surprisingly, I see my phone, my antidepressants and my razor in my bag. The pain seems to fade, but arrives that feeling of ''wanting more'' to forget the beating that I received. I take the razor from the bag and again cut my arm . I feel again comforted and freed when I'm doing this. I don't know why, but I feel so...good.

But I quickly realise what I'm doing and I quickly bandage my arm. I start to cry, realising that nobody wants me around, that I'm a bad boy who can't do anything right. What did I do wrong? Why are they so mean to me? Are these death thoughts a sign? These thoughts are alive after I shut my eyes and disappear after falling into the dream world. I just want an answer to these questions, nothing more.


*A reference to Attack on Titan: Bulgaria tried to go to the Hetaween Party in 2013 as Eren but Romania didn't like the idea and tried to get Bulgaria's jacket off. As a fact, Eren and Bulgaria look quite similar

*Dacia is Romania and Moldova's mother. My headcanon is that she was a powerful warrior, but a loving and passionate woman, who cared deeply of her children

*Yes, but true there were protests in Romania some days ago and now it seems to be quite quiet. I just hope to be peace in my country, to be united again as people and a nation.

P.S:Sorry for taking that long, I didn't have inspiration and time