'It's not how it should have happened.' It was all she could think about.

Cersei let the nurse help the thigh boots on her legs, slightly amused by his inexperience with women shoes.

The unusually tall and apparently mute man let out a reproachful groan as he had noticed her scornful smile.

He was right though. There was no point in wearing designer shoes when she couldn't walk in them. Jaime will appreciate them anyway. The news of his miraculous escape and her remaining children were the only things keeping her alive these days.

'Get your hands off my ass!' Cersei hissed angrily when the nurse put her in the wheelchair.

Another indignant groan came as a response, followed by a contemptuous glance. The total lack of of empathy in his eyes instantly made Cersei have a certain level of respect for the man.

'Come work for me. I'll triple whatever you earn here.' she said after a second of hesitation.

The man shrugged, then quietly nodded.

'I'll send a car for you tomorrow morning.' Cersei added with a faint smile before letting him go with a wave of her hand.

After the nurse had left her alone in the room, Cersei's fingers wandered to her long blond hair, only to remind her that it had been cut short before the surgery. She let out a sigh.

The images of the accident immediately flooded her mind.

It was all Tyrion's fault. And Ned's. And Robert's. And Jaime's. Especially Jaime's, because he wasn't there.

As soon as Ned Stark warned her about Robert's suspicion regarding their children's true paternity, she called her younger brother to pick up the children from school and take them as far from Robert as he could. But instead, Joffrey was home when Robert showed up so drunk and high like never before, with the sole intention of beating the life out of her. Joffrey somehow got between them and Robert pushed him down the stairs. He was lying there unconscious and Cersei had to beg for minutes until her husband finally agreed to take him to the hospital. He got scared too, he even let Cersei drive, but then suddenly he realized why he had come home in the first place. The boy might not even be his. He wanted to force a confession out of his wife, ready to let the kid die if she didn't tell him the truth. He shouted at her to stop the car and when she refused, he started choking her until finally she lost control of the vehicule.

'Damn, woman! Look what you have done to my car!' was all he could say after the car had stopped spinning and they were sitting there, covered in blood and broken glass.

Cersei looked at her husband and she couldn't help seeing an opportunity in their situation. She didn't think twice. She grabbed a sharp shard of glass and stabbed her husband in the throat. She will never forget the expression on his face when he died: the perfect mix of shock and anger.

'Mom!' she heard a weak voice from behind and it has been just then she realized that her son was in the car too.

He looked awful. Barely breathing, bleeding heavily, but he was conscious. Cersei knew that she wasn't all right either, since she couldn't feel her legs, but somehow she managed to climb over to him. According to her doctors, if she hadn't done that, she might still be able to walk.

Joffrey died in her arms.

It was strange to think about that memory and hardly feel anything. All those drugs they had given her for the physical and emotional pain made her numb. Not feeling her legs was one thing, but not feeling her rightful pain was worse. Until the effect of the pills wore off and she cried, yelled and begged to be numb again. Vicious circle.

'Ready to roll?' a familiar voice dragged her out of her thoughts.

It belonged to her younger brother, Tyrion.

'What are you doing here? Where is Jaime?' she snapped at him.

'He went to the airport with Tommen to pick up Myrcella. They will join us in the penthouse.' Tyrion replied while he took a full circle around her to study the wheelchair.

'No way. If he is not here now, I don't want to see him. As for the children, they will never see me like this.' she said in a firm voice and quickly grabbed her phone to text to her twin brother.

Tyrion didn't argue.

'How does it work?' he asked, still looking at her chair.

'You just push it.' Cersei rolled her eyes. She could have asked for an automatic one with GPS and massage function, but she couldn't bear the thought of something going wrong. Plus, at least she could have the illusion of a minimal control in her miserable situation. 'Are we going or what?'

They had the same height now that she was sitting and her brother was standing behind her, having difficulty to reach the handle of the wheelchair.

Cersei let out a sigh and put on her oversized sunglasses while Tyrion pushed her along the corridor. That was about to be the most humiliating experience of her life.


'Are you out of your fucking mind?' Cersei screamed when she realized her brother's intention. 'I am not going on the subway.'

'You don't have a choice. I may have had a few drinks yesterday and I temporary misplaced my wallet.' Tyrion said with ease.

'You are enjoying yourself, aren't you?' his sister hissed between her teeth.

'And you are angry. Finally. I was worried you would never be your old self again. But you are angry. That's good. I can work with that.' Tyrion replied with a smile.

'You are funny.' Cersei remarked bitterly while they were going down the elevator. 'You are funny. But you know, none of your jokes will ever match the first one. You ripped my mother open on your way out of her and she bled to death.'

The other passengers on the platform stared at her disapprovingly, but Cersei didn't pay attention to them.

'She was my mother too.' Tyrion mumbled.

Cersei didn't see his face because he stood behind her, but she could hear the hurt in his voice. She knew she had gone too far but she couldn't stop herself.

The approaching subway train muffled her voice, so she spoke louder.

'Mother gone, for the sake of you. There's no bigger joke in the world than that.' she sighed indifferently.

Her brother scoffed. He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ears.

'I could just leave you here.' he pushed her wheelchair in the train, while he stayed on the platform, ready to keep his threat.

Cersei smiled and shrugged. She couldn't care less. All the anger she had was already gone.


'You shouldn't shut Jaime out.' Tyrion said later when they were in her lavish penthouse home. 'He was always there for you.'

Cersei looked around her apartment. Tyrion did his homework. There were ramps and handrails everywhere, it looked like a goddamn monkey cage.

'Yes, I suppose he was. Until he left me and let himself captured by terrorists.' she sighed. 'So tell me, what good it brought me having him in my life?'

Tyrion frowned.

'Your children?' he suggested with poorly hidden shock in his voice, but Cersei just laughed at him.

'Bring something to drink.' she ordered him.

By the time Tyrion got back with a bottle of wine and two glasses, she made herself comfortable on the sofa with the help of her brand new handrails.

'Do you want to talk about my children? Let's talk about the one who is dead because of you.' she said as she poured herself a drink and took some pills to down them with it.

'Cersei.' Her brother pronounced her name as a warning that his patience was finite.

She poured another glass for both of them. They were drinking in silence for a while, focusing their full attention on the crimson-coloured content of their glasses. Then Cersei's eyes hesitantly shifted toward her brother.

'Where were you that day? You said you would pick them up from school, but you never did, did you?' she asked curiously.

She looked in her brother's eyes. She needed someone to blame. She needed it so much to make that horrible tragedy just a little less unbearable. Tyrion must have felt it because he broke their eye contact and lowered his eyes.

'No.' he sighed. 'I was with a hooker. I figured since I have already payed the hour, I might as well enjoy it. I didn't think it would hurt the boys to wait a little longer.'

He said it with a feigned ease and Cersei knew better than to believe her brother's lie. He loved the children, he was worried about them. The minute she had called him, he got in a cab to find them. Cersei remembered hearing him tell the driver the school's address. What was he talking about now? What was this game?

And yet, she played along.

'I will never forgive you for this.' she hissed angrily.

She leaned across the coffee table and made her brother look at her. 'First, you ship off my daughter to boarding school, then…'

Tyrion finally lost his temper.

'For God's sake, Cersei, would you have rather had her in that car too?'

Cersei shook her head. This game went too far. Suggesting that she too should be blamed in any way was just too much to bear.

'Get out!' she screamed. 'Get out!'

She leaned back on the sofa and covered her face with her hands. She heard her brother's retreating footsteps, followed by the opening and closing of the elevator door behind him. He was gone. Cersei lowered her hands and opened her eyes.