Hi everybody and welcome back to another chapter of Sing me one last song.
So, before you start reading, I would like to take this opportunity and tell you about a new project I recently finished!
I've written a story called: A Tale of the Trickster and the Spider, which is packed with awkwardness, love, humor and ALL our favorite marvel characters! We've assembled all the Avengers, from the warm kingdom of Wakanda, to the far stars of our galaxy, everyone will be there!
I really would like to ask you to read this as it is a comedy and just might be the much-needed break from this tragic story.
Anyway, please give it a shot! The story is already completely finished and I'll be posting a new chapter every 2-3 days! So no agonizingly long waits for this one!
I hope it will put a smile on your face and please, let this story be a token of my gratitude towards all you awesome people.
Well, that being said, here's the new chapter of sing me one last song!
WARNING/SPOILER! This chapter will contain an attempted suicide, please do not read if this might offend/trigger you! You can continue the story in the next chapter.
Enjoy!
Bruce laid down his book with a sigh, placing it on the coffee table in front of him. He took off his glasses and rubbed his tired and heavy eyes. How many times did he nearly fall asleep now? He couldn't recall. He leaned back on the white leather couch and stared at the ceiling.
'Want some coffee, Brainy Smurf?' Tony asked as he walked by, his shirt and hands covered in black greasy stains.
'Thanks but no thanks Gargamel.' Bruce replied, following Tony into the kitchen. 'How's Steve doing down there?'
'Well, he has already punched his way through three punching bags so I'd like to think he's doing okay.' Tony spoke as he poured himself a cup of coffee. 'You know what? I've been a genius all my life, yet I still keep amazing myself.'
'And that's because?' Bruce asked with a soft chuckle, raising a brow at the playboy.
'Because it was my idea to turn half of my workplace into a gym and, apparently, it was exactly what Rogers needed. You should see him go, he's really blowing off steam.'
'Yeah, he does seem… busy.' Bruce responded as Tony shoved a cup of coffee in his hands.
'Busy? Don't you mean happy? He's finally exercising again, just the way he did before all this… all this shit.'
Bruce softly nodded as he thought this over. 'But have you actually seen him smile?'
'Well,' Tony started, followed by a short silence. 'no.' He eventually replied. 'But hey, who would? He's focused, just like he should be.'
'Yes, well, let's just hope exercising will help him clear his mind.' Bruce said with a slight tone of worry in his voice.
Yes, he was all-in when the billionaire first suggested to transform half of his workplace into a gym. A place where their captain could unwind and do the things he always used to enjoy before his sudden disappearance.
Tony immediately searched the internet for equipment with the help of Jarvis, ordering only the best of the best which, as he should have known, wasn't really a guarantee for the items to survive the captain's intense training sessions.
Steve seemed happy at the sight of his new training room and he was just so grateful. It had everything the man could need, a weight bench with weights of all shapes and sizes, a luxurious treadmill and, of course, a simple yet effective punching bag stand.
His first training session lasted no longer than a few minutes after which Tony nearly had to drag him to his bed. However, as minutes quickly faded into hours and hours into days, Bruce had noticed that Steve hardly ever left his newly acquired room and it was something he started to worry about.
'You think he did it?' Tony suddenly asked, breaking the doctor's train of thoughts.
'Who? What?' Bruce replied, bringing his attention back to the conversation.
'Lokes, you think he killed Thor?' Tony continued as casual as ever. As if it did not bother him at all. Luckily, Banner knew the man long enough to know it was a mere façade, a tough act, to hide his worries.
'I don't know, Tony.' Bruce sighed. 'Really, I don't know who or what to believe anymore.'
'You and I both…' Tony said as he took a sip of his coffee. 'I spoke with those soldier guys. The Anher-something,'
'Einherjar?'
'Yes, those. They told me all kinds of things Lokes did in his past and honestly, if it's all true, I don't blame his dad for freaking out like this.'
'Well, whatever it was they told you, it still remains one side of the story.' Bruce said as he let his hand glide through his tousled hair. 'I mean, I just can't imagine Loki really wanting to kill Thor, it just doesn't make any sense. Remember when he came here? He locked himself in his room for days and the only one he dared to turn to was his brother.'
'Yeah, yeah, I know.' Tony sighed. 'I really hope that kid's okay though, both of them… any word from outer space yet?'
'Last thing I heard of Odin was that Natasha and the others would go to some sort of field tomorrow. They have really high hopes they'll find Thor there.'
Tony nodded. 'Well, I guess I should go back to check on Rogers, see if he needs a new punching bag.'
'Yes, Tony, about Steve,' Bruce said, putting down his coffee. He took a deep breath and looked his friend in the eye. 'I don't think I can do this anymore.'
'What?' Tony stared at Bruce for a second with wide open eyes. 'What do you mean?'
'I don't think I can- I mean, I'm not a licensed psychologist, Tony.' Bruce said, frustration ringing in his voice. 'If Steve continues on this path of self-destruction then I… I can't help him.' He let his hand slide down the pocket of his pants and pulled out a small bottle. 'This sedative we created is nothing more but a temporarily solution to Steve's panic attacks. It won't help him recover, I can't help him recover…'
Tony remained silent for a second, thinking this through. 'It's okay Bruce.' He finally said. 'I know you're doing everything you can and it's… it's hard, for all of us.' He stood next to the doctor, taking the small bottle out of his hands. 'But Steve needs us and we can't take any risk of sending him to a stranger for help. Plus, I really think he's doing better.' He tried to smile at his fellow scientist who remained with a worried expression on his face. 'Things will get better, you'll see. Nat and Clint will find Thor and he can explain to the Assfather what really happened, Lokes will be released and they can all come back home.' He smiled, trying his very best to keep his worry out of his voice. 'And who knows, Lokes and cap seemed to get along pretty good, maybe he can help Steve.'
'He's still having nightmares, he hardly sleeps nor eats…' Bruce mumbled as if he had not heard a word his friend said.
'I know but we need to give him time. Maybe he just needed this gym as an outlet for his frustration and stress. I mean, exercising does make one hungry and it helps you fall asleep, at least, that's what it does for me.'
'Yeah…' Bruce finally looked up. 'You're right, I mean, if we don't believe in a happy ending then who will, right?' He asked in a low, tired voice though a careful smile was seen on his face.
'Exactly! See, this is the Bruce we need. Don't worry, things will be a whole lot better by this time tomorrow.'
Bruce took Steve's medication back from Tony. 'Let's just hope we won't be needing this any time soon.' He said and slid the bottle back in the pocket of his pants. 'You've still got yours, right?'
'Yeah, it's downstairs in the drawer of my desk.' Tony smirked. 'I was afraid I'd break it if I kept it in my pocket and that would be a waste of my pants.' He said and they both shared a chuckle.
'Pardon the interruption, sir.' A British voice spoke.
'Yes J, what's up buddy?'
'Captain Rogers has asked me to call for you and doctor Banner.'
Bruce an Tony looked at each other, placed their coffee on the kitchen counter and quickly made their way down the stairs.
'Steve, you called. You okay?' Bruce asked as he saw their captain sitting on his bench catching his breath, his entire body covered in sweat.
Steve looked up and stared for a second at the concerned faces of his friends. 'Yeah,' he eventually replied, quickly conjuring a smile on his face. 'yes, I'm fine.'
'Why did you call for us? You need anything?' Tony asked, looking at the punching bag which was still hanging from its stand.
'No thanks. I'm good.' Steve almost lost his balance as he stood up, ignoring a helping hand form Tony. He took a deep breath. 'I've been thinking,' he started and paused for a moment, expecting his playboy friend to say something witty but he didn't. 'I want to help Loki and Thor but I can't help them if I can't even help myself, right?' He said as he concentrated on every slowly spoken word.
'Well, yes, I mean, that's one way to put it.' Bruce carefully responded, noticing the captain's strange manner of speech.
'So I figured, if I want to help any of you, if I want to be of any use,' Steve's hands started to slightly tremble. He quickly grabbed his water bottle and took a few sips. 'I should start talking.' he decisively nodded. 'I just want this all to end and I know that's only possible if I start talking.'
'Yes, you should, you definitely should. It's good to talk.' Tony said as he grabbed a chair and sat down.
'But only when you're ready.' Bruce quickly added as he started to wonder whether the sweat on the man's body was from training or from another panic attack. 'Don't force yourself Steve. We've been over this, remember?'
The blond nodded and sat down on the couch again, water bottle still clenched in his hands. 'Where do you want me to start?' he asked, looking at Bruce.
'I, I guess we could start where we previously left.' Bruce said, a little reluctantly. 'You told us you went for a run, you saw someone standing but couldn't remember who it was and next thing…'
'Yes,' Steve interrupted in a louder voice then he intended. He cleared his throat. 'and the next thing I recall is… is waking up, in a box.' He stared at his hands, trying to keep them from fumbling by holding on tight to his bottle of water. 'I woke up and, and heard a song playing. I recognized it immediately.'
'Star Spangled Man.' Tony whispered under his breath. He watched closely as a violent shiver run through Steve's body. The blond closed his eyes and nodded.
'Steve, I don't think you're rea-' Tony tried, thinking back to the panic attack he caused when he turned on the song as he had to watch over Steve.
'I uhm… at first, I tried to break free.' The captain interrupted his worried friend. 'I kept punching and kicking and, and clawing but nothing seemed to work and as soon as I came to that realization I… I started to panic. It was so small and cramped, I could hardly breath and my entire body started to hurt. Every muscle, every joint, all feeling like they were burning.' Steve swallowed. 'Then, I started to scream for help. I called your names but, no one answered.'
Tony kept his eyes on the captain as a painful lump started to form in his throat, making it nearly impossible for him to swallow.
'I screamed and I scratched and I kicked,' Steve continued. 'But there was nothing. Just that song.' He quickly took another sip of his water.
'I can assume, hopefully, that you'll tell me when you want to stop, right?' Bruce asked, looking at the nervous tapping of Steve's foot against the floor. The captain looked up at him and nodded in agreement.
'All of a sudden, the lid of the box was removed.' Steve continued. 'I was hauled out and stood face to face with a man who was wearing a Hydra uniform. He started talking and eventually forced me to sit down at a table. He offered me food and water and said I was in that box for over three days. I was so hungry that my stomach started to constrict and my throat, I…' Steve shook his head. 'I wanted to eat so bad but I didn't dare to. I was afraid they had poisoned the food…'
'That man, did he tell you what he wanted from you? Did he tell you his name?' Bruce asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking in frustration and anger.
Steve nodded. 'Noud… Noud Schmidt.' He covered his eyes with his hand, his chin softly quivering. 'He, he told me he would not let me die.' He swallowed, wanting to take another sip of his water only to notice that the bottle was already empty. 'You will stay here and suffer…' He repeated. 'I'll make you pray for every single breath you take to be your last. I'll make you scream in agony, cry in shame and plead for mercy in the blissful form of death.' He spoke slowly as his eyes started to fill with tears. His breathing becoming shallow and rapid, his entire body quivering softly.
'I think this is enough for today Rogers.' Tony said, looking at Banner who nodded in agreement. 'You've done great cap, come on, I'll ready a shower for you.'
'I-I'll break you, Captain.' Steve continued, deaf to his friend's caring words.
'Steve.' Bruce spoke firmly. 'Come on, this is enough for today.'
'I'll make you lose your last drop of sanity as your body keeps mending only to… to be ripped apart over and over again.' Steve let out a soft sob, his hands trembling, making him drop his bottle. 'H-he sat on my lap and, and then there were pieces of glass… he grabbed a shard and stabbed it between my ribs.' He continued, covering his ears with his hands. 'There was this device… h-he pushed it in my mouth and my teeth they just…! And there was a table, h-he tied me up…!' Steve rambled as all the memories stared to play in his head.
'Steve! Steve, you need to stop, you need to calm down.' Tony tried to interrupt as he sat down next to the captain, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. 'Come on cap, breath, you're okay.'
Steve kept staring at the floor, grabbing Tony's wrist with a clammy hand as he placed the other on his stomach.
'Steve, you're okay, we're here for you.' Bruce crouched down in front of the quivering man. 'Take deep breaths, you can do this.'
But before Bruce knew it, he was pushed back and landed on the floor. He looked at the captain with questioning eyes only to watch the man fall on his hands and knees.
'Steve!' Tony quickly lowered himself and sat on the ground next to his friend. He placed his hand on the man's back and felt all his muscles tense under his touch. Tony opened his mouth to speak but words did not come out as he saw the captain heave bile mixed with water and blood.
'I just want it to end…' Steve whispered in a quivering voice as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. 'I really tried… I tried so, so hard… I can't take a-anymore…' he spoke softly as he leaned against Tony, a drop of blood coming from his nose, staining the billionaire's shirt.
'Steve, what's happening? What did you do…?' Bruce asked, nearly in a panic as he saw the man turn a deathly shade of white, his breathing nearly invisible.
'I tried so hard, really.' Steve wheezed as he looked at Tony with murky eyes. 'God, I really am… so useless.' He uttered while hardly moving his lips.
'Cap, don't do this! Stay with us…!' Tony started to panic, holding Steve in his arms as the man's body started to weaken.
'I am so, so sorry. I just want it to end… I'm so tired…' A weak smile crept on the captain's face, revealing his perfect white teeth, his gums almost the same color. 'The memories, the nightmares… the constant voices screaming inside my head… I just want it all to end.'
'Steve! Answer me! What did you do?!' Bruce demanded but he got no reaction.
'Bruce?!' Tony looked at his fellow scientist with a desperate expression. His eyes begging him to tell him what to do as they started to fill with tears.
'I- I,' Bruce stammered.
This was not a panic attack, he knew that. But what could have possibly happened to cause this reaction? He looked at the heaved mixture of bile, blood and water on the floor. Then, it hit him.
Water.
Bruce turned his gaze towards Steve's water bottle.
'Tony…'
'What?!' The man nearly shouted, his panic clearly showing. 'Bruce, we have to do something!'
'Where was it you had kept your bottle of medicine? The sedative?'
'Wha-?!' Tony uttered, wanting to question why that would matter. His eyes then widened as he came to realize where the doctor was going with this. 'I-in the lower drawer of my desk, but I locked it! Rogers could never…!' He searched his pockets for the key with one hand while holding his friend close against him with the other.
'I don't think a simple lock was enough…' Bruce said after running towards the desk. The sight of paperwork scattered all over the floor and a completely smashed drawer confirmed his fears. He searched between the papers and turned the drawer over but did not find the bottle containing the sedative. He then searched the desk, throwing off every gadget standing in his way.
There he found it. A small bottle, the same he had in the pocket of his pants and, just as he feared, it was completely empty.
'No...' Tony weakly spoke. 'No! Steve! Steve, you can't do this to me!' He screamed at his friend as tears started to roll down his cheeks. 'Don't…! Don't do this to me…! To us!' He placed his head to rest on the blonde's chest while holding on to him with trembling hands. 'Please… don't give up…! Don't stop fighting…!'
'Jarvis! Call 911! Now!' Bruce ordered the artificial intelligence as he sat down next to his friends.
'Now calling 911. An ambulance will approximately arrive in 7 minutes and 34 seconds.'
'Okay, we've got to keep him conscious.' Bruce spoke hastily, trying to keep as calm as possible. 'He, he needs dialysis and, and an IV for water, we also need to induce vomiting! If we act quick we just m-'
'Bruce…?' Tony nearly whispered with a quivering voice as he raised his head from the captain's chest and looked up in terror.
'Steve, his heart, it's… it's not beating.'
Hi everyone, well, that's it for this chapter. (OMG what am I doing to my poor captain! Why am I letting him suffer like this?! AAAAAH Curse my sick and twisted brain XD)
Next chapter will be for 'All I did for you' and then I'll continue this one! Please let me know what you think in the comments below.
