Bye Bye Robin

By Strix Moonwing

Strix Moonwing: Wow, I only have about four more chapters to go in this story….the first story I've ever written on this site. I'm planning to finish it sometime this week or next. Sorry guys, but you knew it would have to end sooner or later…..I knew and yet it's still a surprise! Anyway, I'm happy with all the reviews and I really appreciate anyone who's read and reviewed for my story.

Before I start this chapter, I'd like to clear something up. First of all, the Slade Wilson song isn't a parody of the Wade Wilson show, it's a parody of the Ed Sullivan show, which is the show in the musical "Bye Bye Birdie" in which Comrade Birdie and Kim kiss….well, try to kiss!XD Lol, this chapter is so going to end in madness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or Bye Bye Birdie, or the Ed Sullivan Show.

Chapter 10: A Kiss or a Miss?

"Hello, and welcome to….."

"THE SLADE WILSON SHOW!" screamed the audience, which consisted of mostly fangirls…..and Starfire's family. Sunfire, Moonfire, and Comet were all sitting in the front seats of the Slade Wilson show. Moonfire and Sunfire were all squealing in delight, while Cometfire slunk in his seat, deeply embarrassed by his parent's obsession.

"Yes….the Slade Wilson Show." Purred a deep and menacing voice from the shadows. As the person that belonged to the voice leaned forward in his chair, the audience was able to see that the host was none other than……Slade!

"DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Robin as he tackled Slade….well, attempted to, anyway. Slade lazily ducked, causing Robin to crash into the wall behind him, landing on his back. Cyborg ran up to Slade and started to stammer many apologizies.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Mr. Wilson. Please forgive my over-reacting client." Cyborg said, in a flattering tone as he glared at Robin. Robin glared angrily at his friend and spluttered as he tried to get back up. "Are you crazy, Cyborg?! That's Slade! Our arch foe!"

Slade got a look of mock surprise and horror on his face at Robin's comment. "Me? Slade!? I shudder at the very thought! I'm Slade….Wilson! There's a complete difference!"

Robin scoffed at Slade and growled, "Yeah right! So you added Wilson to your name! If you look like Slade, talk like Slade, and act like Slade, then your Slade."

"But I look nothing like Slade!" Slade said. He turned his back towards Robin, Cyborg, and the audience and the sound of ripping paper and sticking was heard. When Slade turned around, he had a huge fake mustache on. "See? Does Slade have a mustache?"

Cyborg smiled triumphantly at Slade and frowned at Robin. "See Robin! Does Slade have an incredibly fake-looking mustache?"

Robin lowered his head in shame. "No….I guess you're right."

Cyborg put his hands on his hips and continued to lecture Robin. "I am right! Now I think you owe Mr. Wilson an apology."

Without looking at Slade, Robin hissed, with a twitching eye, "SSSSSorry, Mr…….Slade Wilson."

Slade patted Robin's head and let out a smug smirk. "Now was that so hard?" Robin got out a bottle of mouthwash from out of nowhere and poured it all down his throat.

"Again," Cyborg said, as he and Robin started walking back backstage, "I am so sorry for that little mistake. Oh…and you have something…er…" Cyborg rubbed his finger along his face to indicate that there was something on Slade's face.

Slade looked down and saw that his fake mustache was hanging off his face. He quickly turned around to fix it. He turned back and said in a casual manner. "Thank you. You and your clients are on in five."

"I LOVE YOU SLADE WILSON!"

"Dad!"

"Oh Sunfire, sit back down!"

Backstage….

"I could have sworn that that guy was Slade." Robin muttered darkly as he got ready to go onstage. Raven was in another room getting ready. Cyborg was trying to clip on a tie.

"Ah, forget it Robin! You thought the mailman was Slade one time." He retorted, fiddling with the annoying tie.

"You do know that that is a clip on?" Robin muttered, pointing at Cyborg's tie.

Cyborg blushed and quickly clipped the tie around his neck. "I knew that!"

Robin sat on one of the many couches that were placed for all the visitors and leaned his head on his elbow as if in deep thought. "Cyborg, have you seen Starfire lately?"

"No, wasn't she with her family?"

"No, I didn't see her….or Beast Boy for that matter." He stood up and started to head towards that door that lead outside.

Cyborg saw this and ran in front of him. "Hold up! Where do you think you're going?"

"I want to go talk to Starfire. She's been very distant lately and I'm afraid she might be upset." Robin said, walking around Cyborg.

"Psst!" Cyborg scoffed, still trying to get in front of Robin. "Starfire is the queen of happiness! She's never upset!"

Robin's eyes grew worried. "Yeah, but I haven't seen her since yesterday. That's not like her."

Cyborg shook his head as if in pity for the hero. "Robin, is all this attention making you happy?"

Robin paused and thought about it. "Well…" he admitted slowly. "It is kind of flattering."

Cyborg smiled and started to pace in front of Robin as if he was teacher lecturing his student about an important matter. "Robin, let me tell you a little something about girls……girls want their boyfriends to be happy. That's why they spend all those ridiculous hours getting ready for a date and read all those girly magazines that claim to know a thing or two about us guys."

He made a serious face as he looked Robin in the eyes. "Now if kissing a different girl makes a guy happy then girls are fine with it!"

A long pause followed Cyborg's statement.

"………….." Robin stared at Cyborg with a twitching eye, unable to think of a thing to say at his statement.

After thinking about it for many moments, Cyborg's eyes widened. "Uhhhh….that came out wrong." The awkwardness left as he added, "But believe me….Starfire is not mad at you! One hundred percent not mad at you at all!"


"I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MAD AT ROBIN!" screamed Starfire as she squeezed the life out of a Robin plushie. Its eyes popped out before it burst into flames from Starfire's enflamed hands.

Bumblebee patted her on the back in a comforting manner. "Don't worry Starfire, Cyborg will pay…er…I mean….Robin will pay by the time my plans done!"

"Uhhhh….I'm not really sure this can be counted as a plan." Beast Boy said, nervously.

Bee scoffed and got the two of them in a headlock. "Don't worry guys! Just do what I say, we'll show all of them what happens when our boy and girls friends double-cross us!" Bumblebee released her two friends and got out a flashlight. She turned on the flashlight and put it against her face while laughing evilly.

"Muewahahahahhaahhahhahhhahh!" Bee laughed. She then gave it to Starfire, who started to laugh evilly as well. "Muewhahahahahhahahhah!" Starfire then handed it to Beast Boy, who in turn, laughed evilly. "Muewhahahhahahhahhahhaahh!"

Suddenly the flashlight flickered and went off. The three friends stared at it as Starfire stated. "I guess we have been acting most evilly today."


"Okay, everyone…we're on in…."

"Five…."

"Four…"

"Three…"

"Two…"

"Hello! And welcome to the universe's most-watched show…..THE SLADE WILSON SHOW!"

The audience let out an ear-splitting cheer and roared with delight as lights flashed over the dark studio and loud music blasted from the speakers.

"On today's show there's love in the air as two of Jump City's well known superheroes come to kiss…ON LIVE TELEVISION! The whole universe wants to see this love blossom!

"GO ROB/RAE!" screamed one of the many Rob/Rae fans in the audience. The small number of BB/Rae and Rob/Star that had attended shot the cheering fans glares of pure loathing. Oh, they would pay….they would pay dearly.

"Introducing your favorite host….who is not a villain looking for possible apprentices……SLADE WILSON!"

The audience roared as the lights blazed down on Slade Wilson, who still had on his fake mustache. In his deep, menacing voice, he purred to the audience. "Greetings….and welcome today's….interesting episode of the Slade Wilson show. Please give a warm welcome to my future apprentices…er…I mean….guests, Robin and Raven."

Robin and Raven, both dressed nicely for the occasion, waved as the audience applauded loudly for them. They sat down on the couch provided for them. Robin kept shooting glares at Slade while Raven just sat with a bored expression on her face.

"So titans, how long have you two lovebirds been dating?" Slade asked.

Robin and Raven avoided each other's faces and began to mutter a response that was too jumbled for the audience or Slade to hear. Slade leaned in closer. "Say that again?"

Robin rubbed the back of his head as he replied, "Er….Raven and I aren't really dating. OW!" cried Robin as Cyborg threw a microphone at his head. He shot a glare at Cyborg and added, "We have a…..er….uh….."Robin tried to find a word to describe his and Raven's relationship.

"A bond." Raven said simply, praying that this would be over soon.

"Yeah, a bond." Robin said.

"I see," Slade said in a bored tone. "How quaint."

"Look, can we get this kiss thing over with so we can get back to our regular lives?" asked Raven standing up.

"Someone's in a hurry." Slade said, but fell silent under Raven's glare. He waved his hand in an airy manner. "Fine….put on the kissy music."

Suddenly the studio filled with preppy music. "Nananaanannanaanana! He's my best friend, my best of all friends! Nananaannan!"

Robin and Raven cringed at the music and Slade shoot a glare at the DJ. "Play any Toybox song again I will personally throw your body in the nearest volcano and watch as you are reduced to nothing but ashes."

The DJ visibly gulped and got some fangirls to start singing. "Oh we love you Robin, oh yes we do! We love you Robin and we'll be true…."

"Better…." Slade said as he turned to Raven and Robin. "You two may begin to make out now."

Raven and Robin glared at Slade and then faced eachother. Both were sweating with nervousness and wanted to get this whole ridiculous thing over with. All this had become nothing but a pain in the butt.

"Let's just make this quick." Raven whispered.

"Right." Robin said, glancing nervously at the quiet audience.

Slowly the two began to lean their heads forward. They closed their eyes and began to pucker up their lips. Everyone in the audience held their breaths and leaned in closer as the two's lips were about to touch.

BAM!

Robin wheeled to the ground at the force of Beast Boy's punch. The audiences gasped and were silent for many seconds……then the BB/Rae and Rob/Star shippers began cheer and laugh with joy. Raven's eye were wide with shock at Beast Boy, who was breathing heavily but seemed strangely satisfied about how hard he had punched Robin.

Robin groaned and rubbed his aching jaw. Now this wasn't just a normal punch. This was the punch of angry boyfriend, but this wasn't just the punch of an angry boyfriend. This was the punch of an angry boyfriend who had the force of an elephant, the strength of a grizzly bear, and fury of a rabid wolverine all rolled into one enraged punch. This was a very angry boyfriend punch!

"What was that for?!" Robin shouted.

"Oh as if you don't know!" Beast Boy growled angrily. "You girlfriend stealer!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Robin sputtered. The Rob/Rae part of the audience gasped while the BB/Rae and Rob/Star shouted, "Ha! In your face!" at the Rob/Rae part.

Bee, who was the size of a bumblebee, was perched on Beast Boy's shoulder. She tugged on his ear and whispered. "He said the same thing about Starfire!"

"Oh, so she isn't good enough to be your girlfriend?!" Beast boy growled.

Robin narrowed his eyes at Beast Boy. "I didn't say that Beast Boy! You're blowing this thing way out of proportion!"

"Oh you're saying I'm stupid now!?"

Robin opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and closed it. He shifted his eyes in thought. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….."

"THAT'S IT!" roared Beast Boy, tackling Robin to the ground while trying to punch him in the face. As Robin and Beast Boy began to fight, a talon of black energy grabbed them both and tore them away from each other.

Raven frowned and narrowed her eyes at the both of them as she used her powers to keep them from beating the pulp out of each other. "Calm done you two. This whole argument is pointless." She looked at Beast Boy. "Beast Boy, I thought we had this discussion earlier! Don't you remember anything before the song?"

Beast Boy thought for a second and said, "I faintly remember the words 'Robin' and 'kiss' in the same sentence." Raven gave him another shake before turning to Robin. "And Robin…." She started to shake him violently. "Don't…ever…hurt…my….boyfriend…..again! AUGH!" Raven dropped both Beast Boy and Robin as she bent her head in pain where a certain starbolt had hit her.

Starfire stood next to Slade's desk, her hand and eyes glowing with anger. "Get your gloambofor-talons off my boyfriend!"

When Raven lifted her head, she had four glowing red eyes….all glaring at Starfire. "Why you little….." Both Raven and Starfire jumped at each other in classic cat style. Both landed on the floor, scratching and tearing at each other, trying to claw each other's eyes out. Robin and Beast Boy stood gawking at their battling girlfriends before looking at each other, shrugging, and resuming their battle.

It was at this point that Comet jumped on the stage and pointed at the battling girls and shouted, "CATFIGHT!" He pointed at Robin and Beast Boy and shouted, "DOGFIGHT!" He cupped his hands together and shouted at the audiences. "TIME FOR A SHIPPER FIGHT!"

The BB/Rae and Rob/Star people let out a cheer and began to attack all the Rob/Rae people. The BB/Terra people looked around at the battling ships and whispered, "Uhhhh…where do we go?"

Sunfire and Moonfire stared at their son, who had sat down with a large smile on his face. "Why the heck did you do that?" his father asked.

"I always wanted to see a real shipper fight." Comet said with a grin. "Isn't this the best episode of the Slade Wilson show ever?" His mother shook her head.

As the battle ensured, Slade was watching with keen interest as the four titans battled one another. "Well, well, well, isn't this a lovely turn of events? Oh, nice punch Beast Boy! Note to self: create evil scheme to get Beast Boy as my next apprentice. Oh, wonderful left hook, Starfire. Who know she had such a devious side? Yes, Yes, Robin, get out your Bo-staff….we'll see how long that'll last. Hm, it seems that Beast Boy is morphing into his werebeast…give Robin an extra bite for me. Ah, Raven's taking off her cloak! This is becoming intense!" Slade said as he got out a pair of opera glasses to watch the fight more closely.

Suddenly Cyborg, hearing the noise from the fights came from behind the curtains that lead backstage and stared in shock at the series of fights that were taking place. Stepping in between the fighting titans and shouted, "Guys! Guys! What's going on?! Who started this?"

"I did." Stated a voice from behind Cyborg. He turned and saw Bumblebee walking from the shadows with her hands on her hips and smug smirk on her face.

Cyborg gasped. "Bee?" He pointed at the fighting titans. "You started this? Why?"

Slade let out a squeal in delight. "Oh my gosh, this episode gets better and better. First the fights and now confrontation!" Cyborg and Bee stared at Slade who had got out a bowl of popcorn. "Oh don't mind me." He said with a wave of his hand. "Carry on."

Bee turned to Cyborg and glared. "Because since you've thought of this ridiculous idea, you've listened to nothing I've said and have only cared about the money and your grandma!"

"That's not true!" Cyborg defended.

"Yeah right, you've considered letting Kitten join the team just because you're grandmother told you too!"

"What she could make a good member!"

"Is that you saying that or your grandma?"

"What do you have against my grandma?"

"Uh, I dunno. It's not like she called me a Spanish stripper, stole my room, and tried to take away my friend! Really Cy, you're such a grandma's boy!"

"Well, if you feel that way then I guess I should let Kitten join the team."

"Well good for her because as long as that witch is living at the tower, there's going to be one less titan at the tower!" With that Bumblebee, her face red with anger, stomped off backstage.

"Fine! I don't need you as long as I have my grandma!" Cyborg shouted at the retreating Bumblebee.

At this, Bumblebee turned around and shouted. "You're still on national television!"

"Uh?" At this Cyborg turned realized that everyone in the audience had stopped fighting and were staring at him, even the four fighting titans had ceased and were staring at him.

Cyborg smiled nervously and waved into the camera. "Uhhhh…a little help?" Cyborg whispered to Slade. Suddenly some music came on.

Cyborg started to sing nervously as he edged his way off stage. "For he's a fine, up-stand-ing, pa-tri-o-tic, health-y, nor-mal A-mer-i-can boy. For he's a fine, up-standing, pa-tri-o-tic, health-y, nor-mal A-mer-i-can boy!!!!!"

As he ended his small song, he ran off stage, leaving a stunned audience. After a few moments of silence, Comet jumped from his seat and shouted, "THAT WAS THE BEST SHOW EVER!"

Strix Moonwing: Lol, you guys have no idea how hard it was to write the Robin and Raven kiss scene!XD Hahaahhahhahah, writing Slade was hilarious. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Happy April Fools day and please review!