I wake up against Jesse's chest, laid out on the couch beside him, his arms wound loosely around me. It's still dark outside but the movie has stopped playing, blue screen lighting up the living room. I don't shift or move, his chest rises and falls and there is so much comfort in it. I missed him. I close my eyes again, trying to push it all away except him. I can do that right? I can do that and still be a good member- I'm not betraying anyone, right? "Are you going to wake up?" He mumbles, voice full of sleep.

I shake my head and nuzzle deeper. "I don't want to." His chest rumbles with a chuckle and he flips us so I'm laying underneath him, my hand still on his chest, his eyes alive and on mine. I don't breath and I don't make a sound- I just appreciate my view, giving into my thoughts even if I don't know exactly what is in them, I know my feelings for him are coming back to me.

I wonder what he's thinking, wonder what's in his heart. I closed my eyes and felt his lips press against mine. His lips were soft and inviting, and I couldn't help smiling against them, moving my hands to his hips as we continued. His arm was holding him above me, his other hand was holding my face. He was being tender and loving and I was enjoying the slow pace of it neither of us were hurried and we knew that we had time to get to where we once were, this time with only honesty between us.

"We should stop," He whispers against my lips, breathing a little faster than normal, but I agree. He smiles at me and stands up, holding out his hand and I take it as he leads me up to me room, clicking the tv off on the way.

Jesse shrugs his jacket off, and pulls me with him to my bed but I stop him, pausing to change in the bathroom into night clothes. When I return, he's already laying in bed and I join him, knowing nothing will happen tonight. I scoot under the covers and face him, marveling that this is happening, that Jesse is back and we're like this again.

"I don't know how I would leave them." I whisper, feeling the need to in the dark of my room, like we shouldn't disturb anyone even though it's only us. "What would I say, do? I finally have friends." I tell him. What am I thinking? I'm against this one hundred percent, but I'm also tired of being alone. He looks at me, running a hand down my shoulder, sending waves of tingles through me that I try to ignore.

"What do you mean?" He's completely confused as he locks eyes with me and I wonder who I am as I stare back. I was so confident once, knew that my voice had brought us victory… but when Jesse turned the tables and then losing Finn, Quinn getting the solo, I think I lost myself.

"I don't want to be alone anymore, Jesse." I look at him- we're both a little bit alone, huh?

"Well, if they are the friends they claim to be then they will forgive you." He replies, reason going through his head- he knows he can't mess this up- but there's something else, a desire. I wonder if it's purely for me?

"Yeah, but Kurt transferred for safety, they would see my transfer as everything else I do: For me, myself, and I."I sighed and curl into him. His arms tighten around me, his chin resting on the crown of my head. I relax in his warmth, comfortable in my own skin again.

"Then they aren't your friends." He says, and I feel the words hit deep. "Here's what I can promise, Rach." He pulls back, moving one of his hands to hold my face, to see that he has my eyes, my attention completely. "I will help you, I will be here, and I won't leave you." His word bury deep in my heart, something I've always wanted to hear from someone, someone I care for and love, someone who I can trust… Jesse has completely re-written himself in hours, falling back into being who he was, and I think that it wasn't completely an act on his side.

"Can we go back?" I ask, my voice strong, but I am weak. I can't do this anymore- I need him beside me again. Finn always looked down on me, seeing me as his girlfriend at the cost of everything else, but when Jesse looks at me, it's like he sees just me, through everything he can get to the real me. He looks at me but doesn't reply, just pulling me to him, finding my lips in the dark, a frenzy of feeling hiding behind it and I try to match him, gripping at his shirt and pulling him to me. I know we won't do anything but even this is a comfort, to know we are on the same page.

.

I wake up and this time the sun is shining through my windows, Jesse is at my back, one arm thrown around me, the other contorted under his head like a pillow. I turn over and look at him. His face is relaxed and his breathing is so slow. His perfect curls aren't so perfect, coming undone in our sleep, but he looks happy at the same time. I wonder if our late night talk plus the practice with Vocal Adrenaline had tired him out.

My phone rings from the nightstand and I turn, yanking it off the charger and answer the call. "Hello?" My voice is hushed, I don't want to wake Jesse, even as I feel him stir beside me.

I sit up as Finn's voice rushes at me, "We need to figure out the songs for Regional's." He says, and I remember we have weekend club meeting today and I don't have my car. "Have you written any?" he asks, not wasting any time.

"I have one, I'm working on another," I say, putting my feet on the floor and going to my closet, looking for jeans and a shirt.

"Are they good?" He sounds wary and I wonder why he should have cause to doubt me.

"I think they are spectacular." I boast, and I hear Jesse chuckle from the bed. I look over my shoulder to see him propped up and watching me, and I can't help but smile back at him.

"Listen, you want me to pick you up so we can discuss it in the car?" He asks as Jesse get out of bed and heads to the bathroom.

"That would be sweet, but no thank you." I say, "I'll see you at school." I hang up and focus on dressing before Jesse wanders back.

"Who was that?" He asks through the door and I slip my shirt over my head, following with my jeans.

"Finn. He wants the songs I'm writing," I move to my desk, putting the folder with my written music inside my bag and I feel Jesse's arm around my waist, pulling my into a back hug as he kisses my cheek. "Can you give me a ride?" He bobs his head in assurance and I grin. I feel like I shouldn't get used to this, but I want too.

.

Jesse pulls into McKinley's parking lot and I see Finn standing by his truck. "Why isn't he inside? It's freezing." I ask absently to no one.

"Probably waiting for you." Jesse grits his teeth together. Huh. He pulls up to the school, next to the curb, and turns to me. "See you later?" He asks and I nod. We still have to retrieve my car from the Carmel parking lot and planned to get it after club.

"2:30,"I confirm and stare at Jesse for a moment, not sure if I should kiss him or not and I can tell he's think the same thing as he smiles at me. We haven't said if we were actually back together or not, but I know we indeed like each other, especially with his love confession on my porch. I throw caution to the wind and lean across the consol, pressing my lips to his in a chaste kiss before pulling back.

I climb out of his car, the fall winds swirling around me and I wave bye as I close the door. He nods and pulls away, driving to wherever he needs to go, maybe home, maybe not. I hadn't thought to ask what he was doing today.

"Rachel!" Finn calls to me as he realizes my existence on the curb of the school. I turn and walk toward him, resting my hands on my backpack straps so they don't hang awkwardly at my sides.

"Whose car was that?" He waves after it as I barely see it on the hill. I avoid the question, still unsure how the group will react, especially after last time when they threatened to kick me out. I walk ahead of him, his voice ringing clear behind me, pestering me to give him a name. "I know it's not your dads, so whose car was it?"

"Finn, it's not your business, okay?" I tell him, opening the door to the club room, finding most of the group already here, surrounding the piano with music sheets, going through songs and giving a try to writing our own. Mercedes kept eyeing me, probably wanting to know what happened after I left yesterday.

I smile at her, a real smile for the first time in what seems likes weeks and then I address my fellow members, "Vocal Adrenaline contacted me yesterday," I tell them, watching their heads snapp up one by one.

"Did you go alone?" Puck questioned, looking like I had lost my head. "Did they slash your tires?" He asked, and I shook my head, trying not the laugh at his comment.

"I thought you guys should know what you'll be up against," no one sensed the change in my wording, as I was considering transferring now, knowing that I could be outed as a traitor when news of me dating Jesse surfaces and also other matters that had popped into my head after last night, "Jesse is the assistant director currently." I tell them and Finn curses in the back, ranting about how Jesse had the guts to look in my eyes again and on and on, Quinn and Mercedes stared at me, almost knowingly that there's more to the story then I'm letting on.

Finn suddenly rounds on me, his eyes lighting up as if a light bulb had turned on, "That's who dropped you off!" he exclaims in front of everyone and I didn't want to lie to them, but I also wasn't planning on spilling the beans just yet. Finn's eyes shine with recognition. "You know we can't condone this!" He yells, "You've been through this once- are you that stupid?" I feel a stab as those words leave his mouth, like a slap in the face. Jealousy piles up on his shoulders, turning him green and I can see the motivation behind his words, but I don't condone it.

"I don't believe that my relationship has anything to do with the Glee club or yourself." I say, my voice small. This is what I was afraid of.

"If you haven't forgotten you're my girlfriend-" I cut him off, rounding on him, ready to chew into him for once, bring him back to the real world.

"I'm you ex-girlfriend," I correct, "and I can make my own choices." I bristle, this is exactly it- this commanding atmosphere like Glee Club is my be-all and end-all, like my life doesn't exist without it, as if I'm owned by this. My goal doesn't run on the cost of needy members asking for me to devote my life to a club that I'll be in for another year before graduation, when they live their life.

"You got fooled by the traitor, and now look," Finn says, heading this ridiculous campaign while others nod in agreement around me.

Quinn speaks up, eyes boring into mine, "Listen closely to how this story ends, Rachel: you will be left heartbroken again, the only difference is whether eggs are involved or not." Her voice so smooth carrying a thousand daggers.

I stare at her and then the others- I won't be beaten down again, "You guys talk as if I'm am replaceable but yet demand me to give myself completely to Glee Club like it's the only thing keeping us afloat." The way they look at me, glaring as if I've committed a sin against them, "I quit," I tell them, their unrelenting faces making my choose careless words in a second and I grab my purse and walk away, silence echoing all around me.

No one pulls me back or chases me down, even though some probably think it's the end if I leave, they won't admit they need the girl who won't bow down.

I won't bow down.

.

"So, what now?" Jesse asks me, brushing my hair out of my face. We lay out on the couch, laying on his lap, facing the TV as Newsies play.

"Well, they usually start begging me to come back a day after I quit," I explain as I can tell he thinks it's his fault. "You know that this fight has been building up right?" I push myself into sitting position, adjusting until I can steadily look into his eyes that show me a storm as his emotions flicker back and forth. He stands up and I shift, watching him move toward the kitchen, "maybe I'll just transfer," I say, likes it's so easy but he pauses, his back to me.

I don't follow his steps, carefully watching him from my couch and he turns around, looking at me, curiosity filling his eyes, but not in a wondrous way. "Why do you let them be like that?" He asks me, rage filling his voice, "That's your club- you should fight back!" He insists, stopping his rant before it can even start, biting his tongue.

I turn my body, locking away from him as Christian Bale dances on the screen, "Do you remember lectures in history back in junior high?" I ask him, "we were taught about how people started making colonies, steering their ships toward America, Canada, and Mexico but it took a long time- like months and years." I can feel his eyes boring into my neck, and I hear him come closer, "and so to keep the crew from rioting, from taking control the captains forged dates, making it look like the voyage took less than the actual time, but some captains weren't lucky," I continue, "the crew didn't see eye to eye or maybe some were smart enough to figure it out and the captains were cast aside." He comes back to the couch, sitting down next to me.

"Mutiny," he whispers, getting my point

"Glee club isn't a ship but it can certainly feel like one and Finn turned them all against me when he realized I wasn't going back to him, out of jealousy." I say as I grab his hand, leaning my head on his shoulder. "All I did was leave a place I didn't feel wanted." He runs his thumb over my hand in circles, providing a comfort as I explain. "I crafted that club from the ground up- I made it what it was with the help of my members but they don't want me and I don't want to stay in a place that wants to suffocate me."

We stop the conversation there, him calming down after realizing what the situation was- I wasn't running, but being pushed out and I wasn't going to him because he was there, but because I want him here. He turns with a smile and throws his arm around me, letting us fall back into the couch. "I'm glad you took me back," he says and I giggle. I guess we were back together then.

He slides into bed around 11, content just staying with me while my Dads are gone. He says his parents aren't excited about his presence right now and it's probably better that he stay away for a little while anyway. I feel bad when he says that because I know his mom loves him and babies him to death... for her to ignore him, I bet her heart is hurting too, but I let him stay with me- I need him too at the moment, being my rock and listening to me when I complain.