Chapter 4

It was pain, hot searing, white pain he hadn't felt for a long time. Not since… Sanji's eyes shot open and he looked around wildly, there were golden threads everywhere. He shut his eyes and opened them again, no, no, no; he was surrounded in a sea of golden threads. He tried seeing through it, to find something to anchor his sight on, but the more he stared into it, the more blinding it got. Then he realised what had dragged him back to consciousness, a flash of searing pain shot up through his spine. He felt himself lying on his side held down by someone, as something was stabbed slowly into his back. "Fuck!" He screamed so loudly he felt the whole room shake. Not again, not again, not again!

"Fucking hell cook!"

He felt the hands holding him down lessen for a fraction before pinning him down again, "Chopper, I thought you said he was sedated?"

"He was!" Chopper's voice came out as a terrified squeak compared to the roar the marimo had just let out.

"Then why the fuck did he wake up?"

"I- I don't know! I'm so sorry Sanji, I thought you'd be out cold for at least another hour, I'm doing the lumbar puncture, so I knew it would hurt, but I thought that since you were already out after I took the blood samples and I used localized anaesthesia it would be fine to do this too-"

"Chopper you're rambling," he gritted his teeth, even with his ears muffled their voices were so loud it felt like it vibrated inside his head. "It's-, it's fine, just get it over with." He closed his eyes, shutting out the world of golden threads and took a few deep breathes.

It felt like hours, or days had gone by before Chopper finally took the needle out of his back. It had been pure torture; every tiny movement of the needle had felt like someone slowly stabbed him with a sword over and over again. He had growled at Chopper to make him go quicker, but their tiny doctor had refused because it was a risqué procedure that required him to be very precise. And it hadn't helped that the mosshead had been there too, growling back at him when he weren't able to kick his ass. And every time he had spat back an insult, Chopper had chastised him for it because the movement in his chest when he spoke made his back vibrate. He could only imagine the smug look on the bastard mosshead's face as he no doubt got a kick out of watching him suffer.

He wanted a cigarette, and he was almost, almost to the point of begging for one.

"How long do I have to lie like this?" He growled after the marimo had finally left. Lying in fetal position was all fine and well, but it had been almost an hour and it was starting to fucking hurt damn it.

"A few more hours at least," Chopper said sternly, "I need to make sure the puncture has sealed up properly first, and there's also a high risk of you starting to throw up again so I want you on your side just in case."

Fantastic! Just perfect! Not only was he unable to move an inch as pillows had been packed around him so he wouldn't fall over on his back, but his body still wouldn't listen to him, and he was also slowly getting a headache again. "Can you at least give me something to knock me out with? I'm starting to get another fucking headache."

"No, I need you awake in case something happens, and that's normal, though I had hoped with you lying on your side during the procedure we would avoid that from happening," he heard Chopper moving around the room, and there was a low puttering of something boiling not far from him. "I actually wanted to ask about that, your headache, how bad was it really when you told me to see you before lunch?"

He groaned. He wasn't surprised Chopper wouldn't allow him to fall into the bliss of unconsciousness, but that didn't stop him from getting annoyed at it. "Around an eight, I suppose."

Chopper let out a hum at that, and he could hear a pen scraping against some paper. "And what does that mean? How long had it been going on?"

Of course Chopper would be making notes of it; he was surprised the young doctor hadn't asked about it before to be honest. "It started just as I woke up, but like any another migraine I've been having, it was just a little pressure, nothing I wasn't used to already. But then it started increasing faster than I've ever experienced it, so I guess it went from a two to a nine in the span of an hour." He tried thinking back to the hour before passing out, "I started getting nauseous just after Luffy yelled that there was an island, and I steadily started losing my peripheral not long after that." He wanted to move, he felt a desperate need to scratch his neck as he was thinking, "When I called you all in for lunch I was barely able to stand upright, then as I went down the stairs I started getting tunnel vision and I barely had any energy to get through the door," He strained his mind to try and move that damn arm, but it wouldn't budge, "The when I finally managed to get it open I fell through it and all the blood drained from my head, and as I tried moving to the bed it went black."

All the while he had been talking Chopper had scribbled furiously, but hadn't said anything.

"So you've been having migraines? How do they feel when you have them? Is the pain located in one area, is it moving around, or is it a perpetual feeling in the whole head? Also what kind of pain is it? Is it a stabbing, pulsating or throbbing sensation?" Chopper was using a tone Sanji had never heard him use before; it didn't waver or hesitate as he asked the questions. It was purely factual, down to business, no nonsense, and Sanji had a feeling that this was Chopper's true doctor's voice, one he only used when he was deeply concentrating on getting information out of them. He must be really worried.

"It's the whole head, like a belt is wrapped around it, and it's mostly throbbing." He – needed – to – scratch – his – damn – neck! "But it usually starts going between stabbing and throbbing when it goes over a six." If Chopper was truly that worried, he would give him as much facts as he could, to hell with his need for secrecy about it, and his worry of needlessly making the crew fear for his wellbeing. He still felt a desperate need to move his body however, to fidget and keep his hands occupied, and he desperately needed a cigarette.

"Hmm, so mostly tension migraines that will increase to cluster," he heard the rapid scratching of the pen, "Have you had any neck or shoulder pain? I know you just had a dislocated shoulder, which I know hurt like a bitch-," Sanji nearly gaped at the harsh language Chopper had just used, "but I'm thinking more the lines of tension, uncomfortable stretching sensations when you move, a perpetual need to roll your shoulders or crack you joints."

Sanji thought about it, he'd always had tension in his neck and shoulders, but it had mostly been at night after a particularly stressful day in the kitchen, when he had been standing all day without a break. But, now? Yes, it had been getting worse since the first day of autumn harvest. He hadn't even noticed it; he had been too occupied with the fucking migraines. In fact, it had been like that since it had happened the first time all those years ago. "Yes, ever since I was around nine, but," he hesitated, was he really going to put this on Chopper? Yes he had agreed with himself to give Chopper as much information as he could, but he also knew how ridiculous it would sound, and he knew how much it would piss the young doctor off to know he had kept it from him.

"But?"

He felt the intense urge to clutch his nose, and scrunched up his face in frustration when he yet again couldn't do anything, "but, it's always been worse during autumn harvest. It's the same with the migraines." He wanted to open his eyes and look at the little reindeer, to see his reaction, but he kept them closed as there were still faint traces of golden threads even now, and he knew it would be even worse if he opened them. "I mean-," he searched his brain to find the right words to explain himself, "the migraines always starts on the first day, just a light headache that's just there in the back of my mind, and then it gets steadily worse each day until the final day when it's almost unbearable." He furrowed his brows, he still felt he wasn't explaining it properly, like there was more he should say about it, but it was ridiculous. "It's never been like this before though, I've never gone blind or lost all mobility in my body," but that wasn't really true though, was it. "Well, at least, it hasn't happened this early."

"You mean this has happened before?" There was an edge to Chopper's voice that hadn't been there before.

"Not-, not like this," he could feel the piercing stare Chopper was undoubtedly giving him, "I've never had it this bad or over such a long period of time," he – needed – to – fidget, all the thinking and straining to move his body was making his head hurt more and more. "I've had spells of it, only a few seconds at the time when I've just woken up, but it's always just been during the last few days."

He heard Chopper let out a huff, "And then? What happens after Halloween?" There was still an edge to his voice.

"It goes back to normal like it never happened." He muttered. He knew it wasn't a normal illness, 'cause who the fuck had an illness that only happened during the autumn harvest and ended right after the celebration of Samhain? It was nothing short of ridiculous. He had hoped this time it was just a regular illness of some kind; he'd tried to convince himself of it, so that he could also convince Chopper about it. Had it really been worth it to keep it from him, though? The stabbing pain in his back, and the slight aching pressure on his hip and thigh because of the way he was laying was slowly making him regret not telling him the truth sooner.

"Uh-huh, and you didn't think to tell me any of this before, because?" Chopper was pissed, no, he was livid. Sanji could feel the heat of fury rolling off him in waves, and as much as it pained him to admit it, it scared the shit out of him.

"I-," What was his excuse? That he was sure it was just a coincidence? That was bullshit. That he didn't want to make the little guy worry? That was true, but the real truth was that he had absolutely no good reason for it that wouldn't make the little doctor explode. "I don't have a good answer for that," he wanted to kick himself for how small and pitiful his voice sounded.

Even though he didn't hear it, he could almost feel how Chopper was gritting his teeth, no doubt trying not to yell in fury at him. He wanted to move, to bolt out of the room and get away from the little guy before he exploded on him, but all he could do was squeeze his eyes shut even more and wait. But instead of the tirade he was expecting he heard fast footsteps cross the room and then the door slamming shut so hard the room shook around him. He winced at the sound as it cut through his muffled ears and pierced his skull, but that was also the last thing he heard before the world went black.

oOo

He stared up into the infinity of the flux sky, breathing in that sweet autumn air. It was crisp, but not quite freezing like on a winter's day. As he focused on it he could feel a slight eagerness go through his body as a fragrance he had long forgotten wafted by him. It had been so long since he had had that sensation, and he had forgotten how alive it made him feel. How long had it been? It felt like eons or maybe even more, but he knew. It had only been twelve years.

He raised his head, and though he was content at finally remembering, he felt a slight annoyance at having been so rudely interrupted. He let a deep breath fill his lungs and exhaled it slowly before he got to his feet once more.

"You're early!" The voice was sharp, but melodic and fluid. Like silk caught in a sudden breeze.

He smiled a little to himself before he turned around towards the tugging at his back, not hastily or impetuously, but calmly as to savour the moment before he would gaze upon its grace and radiance once again.

"I am?" He studied it with a warm smile on his face. He had missed it, deeply and longingly for so long.

"Yes!" It had never spoken many words, and sometimes it had not said anything at all in the moments of their meeting. But he loved it all the same, an unwavering infatuation that never lessened no matter how far he travelled or how long they were apart.

"Then will I have to wait here with you?" The feeling started in his legs; he could not quite place it. It felt like warm fire danced along them, engulfing them in a burning heath that did not harm him. As he glanced down at them there was nothing but black cloth surrounding them. He frowned. The body still did not feel like his own.

"You seem troubled?" Its voice flowed like a gentle stream in a forest clearing, and he raised his head towards it, still feeling the warm fire moving through his body. It did not worry him, but instead he felt it calm him further.

"It is nothing to worry about my sweet camellia; it has just been a long journey to finally gaze upon your beauty once again." He felt a yearning need to touch that beauty, to drink it in and drown in its libation. But he knew he could not, because as beautiful as it was to gaze upon, it was capricious and mercurial, and he did not want to see it change.

"You shame me." It turned away from him and he felt an ache in his chest as it did so. Its movement so languid, but yet so graceful, it was painful to see.

"I did not mean you ill-will." He sighed. And as he watched it start to move away, he went to walk beside it, to bask in the rays of its shining light.

"I will have you find them. They are scattered."

A look of deep contemplation came upon his face as he lifted his head to gaze into the infinite expanse of the starless sky, "Who must I find first?"

"The boy."


AN: It might be a few days until the next chapter is released, I suddenly got swarmed with work, but don't worry, I'm currently working on chapter 9, I just want to stay ahead of the story as I release it.
As always, please fav/follow and or review if you enjoyed it.
(btw, camellia is a flower and not the name of what you are imagining he is talking to)