Chapter 5
Jim lingered in the front of the tattoo parlour, looking at the designs on display, then he slowly worked his way to the back, where he glanced around a corner and watched as Ed took off his jacket, then his tie and finally his shirt. It struck him as ironic that ten years ago, he had been having an affair with Oswald, and had just got Nygma sent to Arkham. And here he was ten years later, spying on Ed as he stripped off and prepared to lay back and get inked...
Ed's upper body was firm and toned, he had Oswald written on his collarbone in small scroll, in the centre of his chest was lettering that had no ink, it looked like some kind of scarification where the words Paying My Debt had been seared into his flesh. The words Love and Forgiveness were on his arm, below the capital O that contained Oswald's name. There was a broken heart on his other arm, beneath it written in a scroll were the words Sorry is never enough. Jim was taking in the sight of other tattoos when he noticed both his nipples were pierced. Then Ed turned around as he got on the table, and just before he laid down to have more work done on his back, Jim saw the tattoo that covered it – he had a large open umbrella and the handle ran down his spine, beneath the shade of the umbrella were two hearts. Work was being done beneath them, the needle had started to whine as the smell of ink and blood filled the air, and Jim noticed something unexpected: Ed was gripping that table like his life depended on it, he was in real pain and tears were filling his eyes.
He turned around and headed for the door, realising what those words inked on his body meant: Ed wasn't getting inked because he liked or wanted it, those tattoos told a story – he was punishing himself, taking pain to make amends for the pain he had caused Oswald so long ago...
Jim left the tattoo parlour, then he stood outside for a moment, looking at the designs in the window. He was just about to turn around and leave when a voice spoke up right behind him, giving him an emotional jolt.
"Jim, is that you?"
He turned around, catching his breath as he came face to face with Oswald. He was standing there on the sidewalk in a sharp suit, his hair was spiked up and his eyes shone with warmth as he leaned on his cane.
"Oswald..."
"Jim, it's been years!" he said, stepping closer as he smiled fondly, "I heard you've been asking after me. Thank you, that was very kind. I also hear you've been putting a stop to the rumours for me. It means a lot, I try and keep my life private these days."
Jim was still looking at him, it had been ten years and Oswald had not changed. He didn't look sick, either - he looked a little tired and perhaps he was leaning on his cane a little heavier than he used to, but to see him after so long, and looking so well despite all he had heard, was almost overwhelming as Jim struggled to find words to speak.
"How are you?" he asked.
"Ed mentioned he bumped into you recently. I'm aware he's told you all about it. I was terrible pain a while back but thankfully, not today. I haven't been able to get out much lately, but Ed still insists on finding ways to cause himself pain so I said I'd come with him into town today. He hates getting inked but he keeps on doing it – I forgave everything a long time ago, but he just can't forgive himself..." he looked to the store as sadness briefly reflected in his gaze then it was gone and he was bright and smiling once more, "But his tattoos do look good. What are you doing here, are you thinking about getting inked, Jim?"
He smiled as he shook his head.
"Not my kind of thing."
As he looked at Oswald, he briefly thought back to the day the affair had ended. He had asked him a question, but Oswald had simply walked away without looking back, leaning hard on his cane as he hurried back to his car. Jim was still waiting for that reply, he was sure in his heart he always would be, but now was not the time to talk about the past...
"You don't look sick," he said, and Oswald smiled back at him.
"But I am constantly tired," he replied, "I try not to let it get to me. I have too much in life to be happy about. Tiredness is a small price to pay for the love that surrounds me. I can honestly say I'm very lucky to have this life, Jim. I'm very thankful."
Jim used every reserve of strength he had not to let his tears show as he looked at Oswald and thought about all he had learned. For a sick man, he looked very good – and certainly full of life. As Ivy had said, he was safe and very loved...it showed, too. In his heart he knew he was wishing in that moment that he was the man at his side, time suddenly seemed very cruel when Oswald had little of it left.
"I think we've wasted a lot of years not staying in touch," Jim told him, "Life's too short... Maybe I should come over and visit you both sometime, if that's okay?"
For a moment, Oswald seemed stuck for words as he looked at him and hesitated, then the moment passed.
"Yes, we will have to do that, Jim... at a suitable time..." then he glanced past him, "Look who I bumped into, Ed – it's Jim Gordon!"
Ed Nygma looked a little pale and shaken, clearly that work on his back had just caused him a lot of pain, he was still in a cold sweat and his tie was loose and his top buttons were open on his shirt. But he smiled as his eyes shone with love, meeting Oswald's gaze.
"What a surprise!" he agreed.
Then Ed took his phone out and switched the camera to video.
"Here we go," Oswald said, glancing at Jim, "He's always making videos... he's got hundreds of them online!"
Ed was smiling playfully as he started filming.
"Hi guys," he said, "I just had some more work done to my back tattoo – Oswald's Umbrella – pictures will be going up later! And here's my Ozzy, he came along for the drive into town this morning..." he turned the camera to Oswald, who smiled as he shook his head.
"I swear I live with that thing shoved in my face all the time!" he said as he laughed, "Ed, stop filming and put your phone away, I want to get back home!"
Ed looked into the lens.
"Guess who we bumped into today? Jim Gordon!"
Jim smiled as he looked into the camera.
"Hi..." he said, smiling and feeling unable to hide his amusement as he thought how much Ed had changed in the past ten years. It was so clear he and Oswald were happy, it was such a contrast to ten years before, when life had turned so dark.
"We have to go now," Ed said into the camera, "I need to get Oswald home. I'll be back later to annoy you all!"
He ended the video.
"It's been nice to see you, Jim."
Oswald glanced to Ed.
"Jim was just saying he'd like to come over to the house sometime."
"That's a good idea," Ed told him, "We should do that."
Then Oswald's gaze lingered on Ed before he spoke to Jim once more.
"Ed has a lot of videos – I know you asked how I'm doing these days, Ed kept a video diary. He can send some of it over to you later..."
He glanced at Ed again.
"Okay," he agreed, "I'll email it to you later at home. But I must ask you to keep it all strictly confidential, some of the videos haven't been shared before and never will be – but it's a much easier way for you to understand what Oz has been through. It's better than talking about it at this time. And please, give me your word that you will delete them when you've watched."
"Of course," Jim replied.
Then Ed said they should be leaving, and Oswald added he really needed to get back home. Jim said goodbye and Ed walked with Oswald to the car, with a protective arm around his shoulder. As Jim walked away, they paused by the car as Oswald leaned close to Ed and both men watched him leave.
"That was a good idea, about the videos," Ed remarked.
"Let's see what he does with them," Oswald replied.
"I'm assuming you want me to be very select about which ones I send?"
"Of course!"
Ed met his gaze.
"It's a wise move. But I think we can trust him. By the way, I don't hold anything against him, all that stuff years ago was my fault."
"And it doesn't matter now," Oswald reminded him, "All is forgiven, even if you feel the need to punish yourself. But on the subject of Jim, I'm still not sure if we can trust him to know everything."
"I understand why you need to be sure," Ed replied, then he turned to face him and as their eyes met, his gaze radiated devotion.
"You look so tired. Let's get you home now, Ozzy," he said softly, and he opened the car door and Oswald got into the passenger seat, then Ed went around the other side, got in and started up the engine. Then they drove away, heading back to the Van Dahl mansion.
Seeing both of them had made for an emotional day for Jim, in the moment he had heard his voice and turned around and seen Oswald standing there, the years had fallen away. Jim drove off with thoughts of the past playing through his mind, the painful past that was almost too much to think about at that moment:
How different it had been back then. Ed Nygma had been sent to Arkham, Oswald had woken up and was finally starting a slow and painful recovery. Jim had been told firmly by Harvey not to visit Ed, because he saw the fire in his eyes as he longed for revenge and then swiftly reminded him that if he laid a hand on Nygma, he would be suspended, and then he would lose his job.
Jim knew he was right; he went back to work, left the case to Harvey and spent every evening at the hospital with Oswald, who started to make a recovery that was at first slow and painful, but after two weeks, he was getting out of bed and barely managing to take a few painful steps, but insisting he wanted to go home as soon as possible.
As he watched him recover with such determination as he defied the pain and channelled his anger into fighting it as he refused to give up, Jim's love deepened, even though he had thought it was not possible to love him more than he already did.
The biggest struggle Oswald faced was walking, even with his cane the pain from his healing leg was exhausting, Jim had told him he might be better off taking medical advice and using a wheelchair for a while, but he had just shook his head, saying that when Fish Mooney had crippled him, she had wanted him to never walk again – he had proved her wrong back then, and he wasn't going to let this incident put him in a chair, either.
Oswald was in the hospital for just over four weeks. When he was ready to leave, he wanted to go back to the mansion. Jim hated the idea of him struggling all alone in that big house. He offered to have him stay at his apartment, at least until his leg was stronger. Oswald agreed and Jim took that leave that he was owed. Just over a month after the beating that had almost killed him, Oswald was finally out of hospital and back at Jim's apartment, and Jim was finally able to stop worrying so much, now he was at his side where he could keep him safe...
Now his bags were unpacked, his cane was leaning against Jim's sofa. Oswald was on the sofa, sitting there looking tired because the walk from the car to the apartment had caused deep pain in his damaged leg. His bruises had faded away, but he still had a sad look in his eyes. Jim sat beside him, put an arm around his shoulder and Oswald leaned against him and gave a sigh.
"I know I shouldn't say this, but I keep thinking of Ed."
"Then don't say it," Jim replied, "I know it was hard to let go of him but after what he did, you can never trust him again."
Oswald's head was resting on his shoulder as Jim toyed gently with his spiked hair.
"I love him," he said quietly, "I can't just turn that off and hate him. I've tried that before and it didn't work. I don't think he can hate me, either. But he needs to be in Arkham. He can get treatment, he can get better."
Jim felt alarmed at what he had just said... He wanted Ed out of there, he wanted him back?
"I don't think someone as crazy as Ed can ever get better," he replied softly, "And I know he hurt you, maybe he couldn't control his actions – but he nearly killed you. I just want to keep you safe now."
Oswald raised his head from his shoulder and shifted even closer, he met his gaze and smiled.
"Jim, I have Victor to keep me safe. That's what I pay him for!"
"And what about us?" Jim was starting to worry. For the first time, the sharp contrast in their two worlds had never felt so pronounced.
Oswald's eyes sparkled as he started to spell out his plan, and suddenly he was Penguin again, brushing off all that had happened as he thought of his crime empire and his grand schemes and plans.
"I have great plans for you! If you leave the police department, you can come and work for me. Live and work with me, Jim! We can be together all the time. You would be so much better for me than Ed, you're not crazy! You could share my life and maybe even help me run things."
Jim stared at him. Oswald wanted him to give up his career?
"I'm a cop."
"So stop being a cop, Jim. Share my life, my business and my bed. Have all of it! I want to share my world with you."
Jim fell silent. Oswald was still looking at him excitedly, waiting for an answer.
"Say something?"
Jim had looked away, as he looked back at him, he knew before he saw his expression that Oswald's mood had changed, darkening down as he saw the look on his face.
"If I'm good enough for you," Oswald said, "So is my empire. I'm the most powerful crime lord in Gotham. Think of the life we could have!"
He did think about it, and the thought of it was so tempting he wished he had never imagined being at Oswald's side for gang meetings, backing him up in shoot outs when they ran into trouble, maybe even shooting at cops, anything to defend the one he loved... Yes, it could be a new life, with every night spent warm in his arms, holding him close as he slept beside him. Him and Oswald, together... But Jim had no plans on sacrificing his career. He felt an ache in his heart. He had already come close to losing him through the beating, he didn't want to lose him over Oswald's hopes and dreams that didn't seem to involve consulting him on anything...
"We need to talk about the future another time," he replied, "You still need to rest. You're here so I can look after you. Just let me do that and don't talk about huge changes to my life, I'm not ready to do that yet."
Oswald nodded.
"Okay," he said patiently, "I know it's a lot to think about."
As he held him tighter, Jim felt a rush of love for him as he sat there, with his lover warm in his embrace. He never wanted Oswald to go home again, not back to that big old lonely mansion full of memories of Ed...
Then Oswald shifted suddenly as pain shot up his leg.
"I need to lie down."
Jim got up first, then helped him up as Oswald reached for his cane.
"I can manage," he reminded him, and watching him take each slow and painful step from the front room to the bedroom was tough, but Jim understood him well enough to know he was determined to cope alone and overcome this problem as fast as he could.
When they reached the bedroom, Oswald placed his cane next to the bed, then with Jim's help he laid back and as soon as he was on that bed he gave a deep sigh of relief.
"That feels better!"
Jim started to undress him, first taking off his shoes and then the rest of his clothing as Oswald lay there looking up at him with an expression of contentment on his face.
"Thank you Jim, you're so kind," he said as Jim gently folded the covers up to his chest.
Oswald was leaning against soft pillows, and now the weight was off his leg, he was in no pain at all.
"Come to bed."
Jim got on to the bed, laying beside him but on top of the covers as he put an arm around him.
"No, don't look at me like that," he said as he laughed and his face briefly flushed, "No matter how many times you bat those pretty eyes at me, I'm not getting into bed and making love to you! It's too soon, you need to rest and get stronger. I'd be too afraid of hurting you."
"I'm not made of china!"
Jim looked down at him, right now he was pale and seemed fragile, he had been through so much so fast and all he wanted to do was treat him like he was as fragile as he looked. He wanted to keep him wrapped up warm in that bed for a long time, but he knew Oswald wouldn't allow it to last forever.
"Right now," Jim said as he gently stroked his cheek, "You're still recovering. I want to look after you and make sure you're properly healed before you go home..." emotion flooded his heart as he blinked away tears, "You almost died! I never want anything to happen to you ever again, can you understand that?"
Oswald looked at him fondly, recalling all Jim had done for him, all the closeness they had shared too. But even though he was now his lover he just didn't get it, and perhaps never would...
"Jim, I'm a criminal. Sometimes it gets dangerous. But I wouldn't change that for the world! That's my life, the one I chose, the path I carved out to become king of Gotham. There will always be danger."
Jim was feeling it again, that divide between his world and that of his lover. He didn't want to think about the possibility that one day, he would have to make a choice. He knew if he did, he would choose Oswald even though he loved his job, believed in justice and wanted this city to be a better place. It could become the safest city on earth, but his bed would be cold without the man he loved... It still felt like a choice he never wanted to have to make.
As they lay together, Jim rested against the pillows and Oswald turned on his side, they were holding each other as he looked into his eyes and spoke again.
"I have great ideas for the future. I'm wealthy, successful, I have strong people around me, lots of protection. We would be very safe to go on with my plans."
"What plans?" asked Jim.
Oswald's eyes shone warmly as he ran a hand over his shoulder, giving a contented sigh.
"Once you leave the GCPD, we can get married. You can be Jim Cobblepot. I like the sound of that!"
Jim stared at him.
"We've been together a few months -"
"Yes, yes, that doesn't matter," Oswald said quickly, dismissing his remark with a wave of his hand, "I can give you a position of real power within my circle. I think having an ex cop on my team would make my position even stronger in this city. And we could have a family, adopt a couple of kids... please, Jim... say that's what you want?"
Jim had no reply to give at first as he looked at him, thinking how Oswald was clearly thinking about a future that was exactly how he wanted it to be – this was the first he had heard of these plans, too...
"I think we're great as we are," Jim finally replied, "And we should slow down and just be together and enjoy what we have. It takes time to build a future."
Oswald gave a sigh.
"These are all the things I wanted to do with Ed. Why can't you at least get a little bit excited?"
"Ed?" Jim said in surprise, "Oswald, he's a psychopath. He's tried to kill you more than once! You'd seriously marry him and raise kids with him?"
"Obviously not now," he replied, "But that had always been my dream."
He saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes and pulled him closer, holding him in a gentle embrace.
"You need to forget Ed," he said softly, then he pressed his face into his hair, placing a kiss there. He held his lover for a long time as he slid into a deep sleep and Jim stayed awake, watching over him as he rested, thinking on all he had said – clearly, they would have to talk about the future eventually, and Oswald would have to understand that Jim had plans of his own, which had mainly consisted of keeping his job at the GCPD... But it could all wait. He was on leave, Oswald was here with him, safe and warm in his arms and for now, that was all that mattered...
Jim's time off work went too fast. By now Oswald was fully recovered and it was a struggle to persuade him to stay on, he wanted to go home, he wanted Jim to go with him, but Jim never wanted this to end, waking next to him every morning, turning over and being warm in his embrace as he kissed him softly and said good morning as he watched Oswald open his eyes to the first light of dawn. So Jim went back to work and time passed. Then as all good things tended to fall apart beneath the often grey skies of this town, the bubble started to burst...
It had been four months since Oswald had gone to stay at the apartment, but now he was spending his time between Jim's place and his own – he still had the underworld to run, and a life of his own to take care of. Jim hated those times of separation but so far, he was still in his job. Ed Nygma was still sticking to his story that Oswald's lover was Jim Gordon, but with crime the way it was in Gotham, it would be many more months before the case came to trial, and Ed was still in Arkham psychiatric hospital.
For Oswald, it was easy to use his time away from Jim to attend to business – amongst other matters. He had given much thought to the situation and then asked Victor to drive him over to visit Ed. The first time, Victor had insisted on coming with him to ensure his safety. After the first few visits, he was waiting outside in the car and Oswald was going in alone. Jim knew nothing of these meetings, Oswald guessed eventually he would hear about it, but when he did, he knew what he would say - he had many reasons for doing this...
As he leaned on his cane and walked into the visiting room, Ed was sitting alone at a table and his sad eyes lit up as he saw him.
"Oswald!" he said, instantly brightening up.
As he took a seat and looked across the table, Oswald felt his heart ache.
"You look so well, I'm glad," Ed told him.
Oswald looked back at him saying nothing for a moment as he gathered his thoughts.
"I'm very well, Ed," he replied, "And I've been hearing all about your progress in here. You're progressing well with anger management and counselling, I knew you would. But I'm not too happy about you asking for electro shock therapy. Your kind of crazy can only be managed, never fixed completely and I don't want you to go through torture for me."
Ed reached across the table and took hold of his hand.
"I swear, I'm doing this for me as much as for you, to try and fix the problem. I'm not thinking about the trial, when it comes to that I'm going to tell the truth. I'm going to say I lost control and barely remember it. And it's true that it wasn't me and it wasn't Riddler. It was something else inside of me that I can't control and for that reason, I need treatment. I don't care if I spend the next twenty years in this place, I deserve to be here!" his eyes had filled with tears.
Oswald gave his hand a squeeze and then let go, as he looked at him across the table with understanding reflecting in his gaze.
"That may be your plan but it's not mine, Ed," he replied, "Yes, I want you to stay here until you can control your violence. But I won't let this go to trial."
Ed blinked.
"What?"
Oswald smiled a crafty smile.
"I knew you never would have agreed to treatment before, so when you attacked me, I saw the perfect excuse to force you to get help. Look at you now – you want to get well! It might take a while, but you'll be out of here in good time. And I'll always be here for you. Maybe not in the way I used to be -"
"Please don't say that!" Ed's voice began to choke with tears.
Oswald stayed calm as he thought about his plan.
"As you know, I've been seeing someone else."
Ed felt no flicker of rage as he thought about the affair.
"And that was my fault, I drove you away. Of course you'd choose a guy like Jim, he would never hurt you like I did."
"And I'm still seeing him," Oswald replied, "I'm not sure how he's going to take the news that I'm changing my story about the night of the assault, but it has to be done. AndI want you to sign these papers," he added, taking some papers from his pocket, he carefully unfolded them, exposing the spaces for Ed's signature, then he slid them over and handed him a pen.
"What's this for?"
"Just to sign back every share you had in business ventures I shared with you during our time together. Do not bother reading them, just sign. I want everything back."
Ed looked down at the paperwork and drew in a sharp breath as he blinked away tears.
"Okay, yes, I'll sign them, I deserve this..."
He signed the papers quickly and then placed the pen on top and slid then back over the table.
"Thank you," Oswald said, and put the papers back in his jacket.
As he looked at him across the table, Ed wondered why there was a hint of a smile on Oswald's face.
"What are you so pleased about? I just willingly gave everything back to you."
"I know you did."
"Why are you looking at me like there's something I don't know?"
Oswald leaned in closer.
"You know me, Ed – I always have a plan going on."
As he winked, Ed looked utterly confused.
"Oswald, what's this about?"
He smiled warmly as he sat there looking thoughtfully at Ed.
"I'm just covering all future possibilities. Obviously after being so unstable I could never let you have any kind of claim over any of my investments, legal or otherwise. But I have no intention of cutting you out of my life when you get out of here. That's not a promise of a reunion. I'm just saying I'll always be around for you. We can never go back to the way we were but I won't turn my back on you. Now I have to go, Edward. I'll see you the same time next week."
He got up from his seat as Ed just sat there looking confused. Then Oswald walked around to his seat, placed a hand on his cheek and leaned down and gently kissed him as Ed's eyes filled with tears.
"Oz?" he whispered, "Do you still love me?"
"I didn't say that," Oswald replied quietly, avoiding his gaze as he turned away and hobbled out of the room.
After leaving Arkham, Oswald was driven away by Victor. He had intended to go straight back to the mansion, but as he thought of Ed and the secret visits his lover knew nothing about, Oswald told Victor to stop the car in the middle of a busy street, and then he got out and went into a florist store and ordered roses to be sent to Detective Jim Gordon at the GCPD.
Later that afternoon, when the red roses were delivered to his desk, Jim had smiled, his face had flushed a little and as he opened the card that said, with all my love, Oz, he knew Harvey was looking at him before he raised his head.
"Let me guess – Cobblepot?"
Jim was still smiling as he nodded.
Harvey smiled too and shook his head.
"This is crazy... Penguin sending you roses! I never would have put the two of you together, I still think about it and I just can't believe you and him would get together."
"You'll get used to it," Jim replied.
Harvey laughed softly.
"You and Penguin... no, I'm still thinking how crazy that is!" he said, then he got on with his paperwork as Jim put the card in his pocket and looked to the red roses as they filled the office with the scent of romance.
Later when Jim got home, he found Oswald had already used the spare key to let himself in to wait for him. After the roses, this was an even better surprise. Oswald rose from the couch and walked to the middle of the room to greet him, the scent of his cologne was already arousing him as he looked into his lover's eyes.
"Thanks for the roses," Jim said, and he smiled warmly, "I wasn't expecting to see you today, this is an even better surprise! I guess it must be a quiet day in the underworld for the boss to be taking time off to pay me an unexpected visit."
Then his smile faded. He had caught the look in Oswald's eyes, it was a look of apprehension.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Oswald leaned on his cane and went out into the hallway, then as Jim followed he gave a deep sigh as he gathered his thoughts as he leaned hard against the wall.
"We need to talk about something important... a police matter."
As Jim met his gaze he felt confused.
"It's a police matter? Look, if you need me to find something out for you or get one of your people out of trouble that could be difficult. I mean, we're a secret – if it gets out I've lost my job -"
"No, Jim..." Oswald paused, looking intently into his eyes and suddenly, Jim knew something was very wrong...
"What is it?" he said quietly.
"It's like this, Jim," Oswald began, "When I was injured, I know it was serious - and head injuries can affect memories. Especially the memory of what happened on that night. You kept asking me who hurt me. I told you the truth, the person who had been hurting me for months was Ed. But not on that night. I was very drunk. I slipped and fell down the stairs at the club. When I came to, I staggered outside. That's when I must have passed out. We need to get these charges dropped. Ed's innocent."
He was getting Nygma off the hook?
One look in his eyes was all he need to know he was lying, this wasn't Oswald his lover, this was his full on Penguin, king of the underworld mode... He may as well have walked into the GCPD and loudly announced his presence and had a desk clerk take the statement for the way he had just said it. And he was smiling, too.
"I was confused," he added, "But I'm not confused now. By the way, it won't make a difference to Ed. He wants to stay in Arkham. He's responding well to treatment."
Jim stared at him.
"Have you gone crazy? What are you saying, you want that lunatic back in your life..."
"No, not exactly -"
"You went to see him?" Jim said angrily.
Oswald raised his hand to appeal for calm and Jim grabbed it, shoving him up against the wall as his eyes blazed with fury.
"You've seen Nygma behind my back?"
Oswald's eyes reflected hurt as he glanced to his pinned wrist.
"Let go of me!" he yelled as tears of anger and pain filled his eyes, "Haven't I been through enough? Do I have to remind you I had to fight and lie and kill to get where I am today? Or maybe that's why you despise me, maybe that's why you're behaving just like Ed, you can't accept someone like me could have that much authority, do you really resent me that much, or are you just looking down on me? Tell me, Jim! Do you think I'm just a lowlife like all the rest of the scum you pull off the streets everyday? I'm supposed to be the one you love, show me some fucking respect!"
Tear streaked Oswald's face. Jim let go of his wrist as his own eyes stung with tears.
"Oh Christ no, I'd never be like Ed... I do respect you!"
Oswald was shaking. He blinked and another tear ran down his face.
"I'm sorry!" Jim said, kissing his wet cheek, "I'm so sorry..."
He fell to his knees in front of him. As he tugged hard at the fabric of Oswald's suit he heard him stifle a sob, then he freed his erection and reached up, closing gentle hands around his hips as he started to suck.
"I'm sorry," he whispered again as he briefly pulled away, then he grabbed his hand, kissed the back of it and took him in his mouth again.
"Jim..." Oswald whispered, he gave a sniff and his voice still sounded tearful, but then he gasped and slid one hand to the back of his head as he used the other to lean on his cane, rocking his hips in rhythm with Jim's movements. He came quickly, giving a sharp cry as he thrust hard, pulling on Jim's hair as he reached climax.
As he pulled away and looked up, Oswald looked down at him, he was breathless and lightly perspiring. He stroked Jim's hair, and he instantly saw forgiveness in his eyes.
"I apologise for not telling you about my visits to Ed."
Jim got up from the floor as Oswald tidied his clothing.
"I'm sorry I lost it like that. I'd never treat you like Nygma did."
Now only kindness reflected in Oswald's gaze. Jim tenderly wiped away his tears as he looked into his eyes.
"And that is why I shall always care for Ed in any way he needs it, but we won't get back together," Oswald told him, "I forgive him, I've forgiven everything! I need to drop those charges, he's doing so well in Arkham. He doesn't want to be released until he's better. But he doesn't need an attempted murder charge putting him away for life."
Jim gave a heavy sigh.
"Okay, I'll arrange for you to change your statement -"
"No need!"
Oswald's mood shifted instantly as he smiled brightly and he whipped some folded papers from his pocket, "I already have my statement and Edward has signed his, once again confirming he was at home that night. The other papers are business documents, I asked him to sign back all the assets I shared with him during our partnership. He was happy to do it, he said he deserved it."
As he handed the relevant papers to Jim, he quickly sorted through the business documents, then as gathered them together, Jim spoke up.
"What's that other one?" he asked, indicating to a smaller paper that was folded tightly.
"More business, nothing to worry about," Oswald said quickly, and put the papers back in his jacket, "Look at the time!" he added, checking his watch, "I'd better go, Jim. I have a lot to do. I'll call you."
He kissed him goodbye and then left the apartment. As the door closed behind him, Jim stood alone in the hallway, wondering why he still felt uneasy about all that Oswald had just said – maybe Victor had been right when he had warned him that Oswald would never walk away from Ed, he didn't want to think about it at all, he wanted to dismiss that thought that sent an ache through his heart, but still that worry hovered in his mind. Now he was starting to wonder exactly what Oswald was planning for the future – if his future had always involved Ed, it seemed to mean Ed would always be around, one way or another...
It was not a thought he welcomed at all, but he was starting to understand that to love Oswald meant doing things his way, he hadn't risen to power by being anything less than fierce and he expected everyone around him to bend to his will. Jim still wasn't sure what he would do when Oswald demanded he left his career in the force and joined him on the other side of the law. He didn't want to dwell on that thought, but he knew that day would come around soon enough. When it did come, he still didn't know what his answer would be...
