"Come in," Captain Kirk called out from his desk.
The door slid open and in stepped Mr. Spock. His first officer had been a little tense lately and this was no exception - his posture was even straighter, his stride more uniform, and his expression stonier than usual. Still, Jim could not help but grin at the sight of him and happily stepped away from his work at the computer.
Spock stood at attention just inside the door, as it slid closed behind him. "Sir, I am here to report that I have found myself to be unfit for duty."
Jim stopped short. His smile vanished and he straightened his posture so he looked like the captain that he was. "Why?" he demanded. "I have the right to at least some explanation before I lose my invaluable First Officer."
Spock hesitated. "I have been emotionally compromised."
"Elaborate," Jim ordered.
Spock hesitated again. Jim waited as he composed his thoughts.
Finally Spock explained as though the words were being drawn out of him by force, "After much analysis, I have concluded that my symptoms are consistent with an incurable human affliction."
"What is it?" Jim didn't see any signs of illness, but Spock was good at hiding discomfort. He reflexively stepped towards Spock, an arm out as though to catch him if he were to suddenly collapse.
Spock did not say. He didn't look ill to Jim, just embarrassed.
"Let me decide whether your 'affliction' makes you unfit for duty. Or, if it's really a disease, that's Bones's area, not yours," Jim insisted.
The thought of bringing the matter to Dr. McCoy seemed to finally do Spock in. After a moment of consideration, he confessed, "I believe I am afflicted with what you humans call 'love.'"
"Really, Mr. Spock?" Jim said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "If that was cause for someone to lose his post, almost the whole ship would be forced to resign, myself included." His smile turned mischievous. "Unless, that is, you have reason to believe that it will interfere with the performance of your duties."
A green tinge slowly spread across his cheeks in an alien blush. "I have concluded that I am" - he paused - "'in love' with" - another pause - "my superior officer."
Jim's grin grew even wider. "I see," he said, trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible. "In that case I doubt your 'affliction' will interfere with your duties - it may even be to your advantage. After all, it is your duty to support your captain however you see fit, isn't it?"
"Affirmative," Spock answered with a hint of reluctance.
"Then I don't see any conflict of interest," he concluded. "You are dismissed. Unless you would rather play a game of chess, while you're here."
Spock quirked an eyebrow at him in surprise. He considered the suggestion for a moment before finally acquiescing, "If you are certain that you have nothing of importance to attend to, chess is valuable strategic exercise and means of sharpening one's faculties."
"Certainly nothing more important." Jim pointedly ignored the work he had interrupted in favor of the essential task of keeping up morale, and busied himself with setting up the chess board.
Note: This song got stuck in my head so badly I had to make a pair of fics based on it, so I've also written a Sherlock Holmes variant on the same theme.
This was originally posted on my tumblr, vtsuion dot tumblr dot com, where I am posting shorts like this one, answering questions, and accepting writing prompts, so check it out!
