Chapter 1
6 months later
We were now 6 months into what they were calling a zombie apocalypse. No one knew what happened exactly or who was the first infected. At least they weren't telling us anyway.
There was a lot shared on social media from around the world, so we had an idea that this was going on everywhere not just here. I guess it was a good thing that my mom was a pretty important doctor because when shit literally hit the fan the government took the "important" people with them and my mom just happened to be one of them. Which included myself and Murphy and I threw a complete fit until they allowed Wells and his dad to come along as well.
When we first arrived at this already protected military base I couldn't help but wonder why the hell they already had something like this in existence. It almost seemed like they were expecting something like this to happen.
I tried to question them but I found out early on that you don't ask questions, you just do as you're told and be glad that you're still alive. But living there I didn't feel alive anymore, I felt trapped and I could tell it was putting a toll on Murphy as well. Since I was planning on going to school for medicine I was put through training once we arrived at the base and I was one of the area doctors in training.
My mom believed I was ready to be on my own but I didn't. This new world wasn't something that was easy to get used to. More than anything else I felt like it was pulling me and Murphy apart, it seemed we couldn't agree on anything anymore. He was hell-bent on finding a way to get out of there and trying to make it on our own. There was no way in hell that that was a good idea. Beyond the walls of the base was nothing but a whole bunch of undead things that want to eat us. How could it be a good idea to go out into that?
I had just had a long day in medical and just wanted to come back to our room and sleep but Murphy had other ideas. As soon as I walked into the room he said "we need to talk."
I just looked at him and sighed "what about?"
"I found a way." He said excitably.
"A way to what?" I didn't understand.
"A way to get out." He said happier than I've seen in a long time.
"Are you crazy? I don't get it, is living with me so bad that you have a death wish?" I don't know why but him wanting to leave made me upset, like physically upset that I started crying.
"Why would you say that?" Now it was his turn to get confused.
"Because I get it that the living arrangements around here aren't the best but we are alive and together. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" I was mentally and physically exhausted.
"How can you be happy living here? I feel like we're prisoners. I feel like were being lied to and there is so much more going on then what we're being told." Murphy had a passion about this that's for sure.
"It's not that I'm happy living here. I'm just happy being here with you." I sighed knowing this was something we were never going to see eye to eye on.
"If we left we'd still be together. Maybe we could even find somewhere better than this. If not I'd be ok with it just being us." Murphy slowly made his way to me and sat next to me. "Look I know this isn't something you want to do but all I ask is to think about it, I'm leaving in two nights."
"You've already decided that you're going?" I couldn't help but feel hurt.
Murphy took a deep breath then nodded "I can't stay here anymore Clarke. I just hope that you'll come with me."
I knew I was probably acting like a baby but it pissed me off that he decided that he was going to leave here without letting me know first. I honestly had nothing left to say to him so I stood up and walked out of the room. My heart hurt, I couldn't stand the thought of losing Murphy but I also couldn't see myself making it out there. Murphy grew up a lot rougher than I did so he had experiences with having to protect himself but I've had none.
All that kept going through my mind was Murphy had a pretty good chance of surviving outside these walls but I honestly felt I didn't. So was it worth the risk? I had to really think about what was more important to me.
I had been walking around for hours and I hated to admit it but I kind of got lost. We were only allowed to go to certain areas and I think I might be in one of the restricted areas. I tried not to freak out but the longer I walked around and was unable to find my way back to something familiar I might have done just that.
"STOP" I heard someone shout from behind me.
When I turned around I was both relieved and scared shitless about how much trouble I was about to get in.
The man in uniform walked toward me "this is a restricted area, civilians are not allowed here."
"I'm sorry I got lost. I was trying to find my way back but honestly I have no idea where I am." I figured the truth was what would work best here.
When the man got close enough that I could see his face I couldn't help but notice he looked very familiar.
"Do I know you?" I asked without actually meaning to.
He chuckled "probably, I'm always around the base."
"No it's not that. I meant from before." I just stared at him and then it hit me when I looked into his dark eyes. I remember those eyes, how could I forget. "You. You were the one who took care of my friend Eliza when everything first started."
It took him a minute but I saw the moment he recognized me. I once again saw that sad look that I saw when he told me my friend was gone. "I'm sorry about your friend."
I tried to give him a small smile but it hit me right then that I hadn't even thought about Eliza until that moment. I felt like an awful person. "Can I ask? I mean am I allowed to. Uh. Did you have to kill her?"
"Ma'am she was already dead." He said in a caring voice.
"I had a feeling." I took a deep breath before giving him a half smile "and don't call me ma'am you make me feel old."
This actually made him laugh "so what am I supposed to call you?"
"Well everyone I know calls me Clarke, so how about we go with that." I knew I was flirting with him, I shouldn't have been but I was.
"Well it's nice to meet you Clarke." He said putting his hand out to shake mine.
"You know that's when you're supposed to introduce yourself." I said smugly not taking his hand.
A huge smile crossed his face "Well everyone I know calls me Sergeant Blake but I guess you can call me Bellamy."
This time I stuck my hand out and met his "Hmm I think I like Sergeant Blake better. It's kind of sexy." I winked at him.
I couldn't believe I just said that. This was not like me to openly flirt with someone especially because I was currently in a relationship.
"Well you can call me whatever you want." He said not taking his eyes off me.
I realized that my hand was still currently in his. It no longer looked like an innocent hand shake though, it actually looked like we were holding hands. I took my hand back without saying anything then finally broke eye contact with him.
"So you want to show me how to get back?" I finally said once I knew I had my voice back.
"I can but there's no rush." He said then quickly added "I mean that's if you're not in a hurry to get back."
I couldn't help but smile "actually I do need to get back, I've been gone awhile and I have people who will be worrying about me."
"Oh ok." He looked disappointed. "So where at on base are you staying?"
"Medical." I told him automatically.
He gave me an odd look "you don't look like any doctor I've ever saw."
I couldn't help but laugh "actually my mom's the doctor. I'm just in training."
"Are you Abby's daughter?" He stopped walking and just stared at me.
"Uh yea. You know my mom?" I asked him kind of confused about why he asked like that.
"So your Murphy's…" He stopped and I knew exactly why he was acting like that. He knew Murphy and here I am flirting with him and him with me.
"Shit. Please don't tell him about this. Dammit. I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have been flirting with you but I honestly figured I'd never see you again and what would be the harm in flirting with a hot man in uniform. You know?" I was nervous and talking really fast, if he told Murphy he was going to be pissed.
He went from a serious expression to the same huge ass grin that he had earlier in a matter of seconds. Which kind of pissed me off, I felt like he was mocking me because I was freaking out about him telling Murphy.
"This is not funny." I don't know what tempted me to do it but I swung my right arm at him attempting to hit him but obviously him being in the military he was quicker than me and grabbed ahold of my hand before I even came close to touching him.
He stood there holding my hand smirking. "So you think I'm hot huh?"
I took my free hand and once again attempted to hit him, of course that's the only thing he would hear out of my rant. Without even trying he caught that hand as well. I backed up trying to free my hands but when my back hit a wall I knew I was done, I had no way of getting loose myself. So I let my arms go limp, letting him know that I give up.
Bellamy once again smirked but didn't let go of my hands not exactly anyway he moved his hands just enough that our fingers intertwined. I didn't fight him on it even though I knew I should have. He took our hands and placed them on the wall a little above my head. When he did that he moved in closer to me. I kept telling myself to look away but there was something about his dark eyes that I couldn't take mine from.
Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, he very slowly moved his head toward me and I seriously thought he was going to kiss me.
I kept saying the same thing over and over again in my head.
Please don't kiss me.Please don't kiss me.Please don't kiss me.
Even though I kept thinking it I never said it out loud. And since I never once took my eyes from his I knew it made him think it was an open invitation. Finally I heard him sigh and barley say more than a whisper "I see exactly why he doesn't want to leave you."
It took him to say that for my mind to finally clear. "What did you just say?"
He finally released my hands and took a step back. "What?"
"What did you say about him leaving?" I asked impatiently.
"Just that he's struggling with leaving because you don't want to." He told me completely unaware of how pissed I was becoming.
"So this is your doing then? You're the one helping him leave?" I hissed.
He finally noticed just how upset I was, he took another step back. "No it isn't my doing but yes I will help him as well as the others in our small group that will be going."
"There's more that's going?" I asked him in disbelief.
Bellamy nodded "we all have people on the outside that were willing to risk our lives to find, it's why I didn't understand why you wouldn't want to go because of your dad."
"He told you about my dad?" I couldn't believe this, Murphy was telling these strangers things about me. He had no right.
"He just told me and it was in confidence that I'd keep it between the two of us." He said like that made everything alright.
"Well until now that is." I said sarcastically.
"Clarke." He started.
But I cut him off "wait a minute you said you all have someone on the outside but that's not true, Murphy doesn't have anyone."
"According to him, he has a sister." Bellamy told me hesitantly.
How could I not know about this if it's true? He has been in my life for about a year now and if he has a sister that he never told me about what does that say about our relationship.
"I have to go." I said and started walking completely forgetting that I had no idea where I was going.
"Clarke." I heard Bellamy from behind me "You're going the wrong way."
Finally I stopped and turned around not looking at him. "You're lucky I have no idea where I'm going."
I followed him in silence, not wanting to say another word.
When we finally got to an area that I recognized I started walking faster and passed him pretty much letting him know that I didn't need him anymore.
I had almost made it past him when I felt his hand on my arm. "Hey I'm sorry about everything."
I stopped and turned around knowing there was something that I needed to say. "Look how about we pretend tonight never happened. We just both promise to never bring up anything about us running into each other."
He took a breath than said "alright not like it's going to be a problem much longer anyway. I'm gone in a couple days and I honestly don't think Murphy will come if you don't."
"So you're going to?" I don't know why I couldn't keep my mouth closed.
He nodded "my sister's out there somewhere and I promised her a long time ago that I'd always protect her and when all this shit went down we got separated. But I have to believe that's she's still out there."
"There you are." I heard Murphy say from behind me.
I closed my eyes, cursing internally for not leaving sooner.
"Does this one belong to you?" I heard Bellamy ask Murphy, I couldn't help but look up and see he went all business like.
"Uh well she doesn't belong to me but she is my girlfriend." Murphy seemed like he had no idea how to answer.
"Well I found Miss Griffin wondering through a restricted area. I will let her off with a warning this time but if it happens again she will expect punishment." He said looking straight at Murphy then turned looked at me and I could have sworn that he winked before he turned and walked off but I couldn't tell for sure.
"I've been looking all over for you." He closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around me "you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry I just needed some time to think." I told him as he was breaking the embrace.
He took a step back "no I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought that up like that."
He took my hand in his and we walked back to our room. I sat with him on the couch, we kept our hands together.
"I've had some time to think and I need to know the real reason why you want to leave." I had decided if he would open up to me and tell me about his sister than I will go with him. "I've been going over everything and I get it that being here isn't idea but neither is being out there. At least here we are safe, we do have a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs but out there we won't have any of that."
Murphy took a deep breath then looked straight at me "there is another reason. I just haven't told you because I didn't know how you would react."
Now I was really confused, if it was his sister why would I not understand?
He seemed nervous "ok there was this girl that I grew up with, we were in multiple foster homes together and we were really close. We became the family that neither of us had. She's like a sister to me and I'm worried about her. I know she survived the initial outbreak but I haven't talked to her since we came here. I feel like I betrayed her because I just left her to fend for herself."
"Why didn't you tell me about her before? I could have helped her. Well we could have helped her together. She could be here with us now." Even though he seemed off I was going to give him the benefit of doubt.
"I don't know why I didn't tell you. I guess I was just scared that you wouldn't understand our relationship and you wouldn't want me to see her." Murphy said but I couldn't help notice that he was avoiding looking at me.
"Look at me." I said and took his face gently in his hands "I trust you with every fiber in my being. You should know by now that you don't have to keep things from me."
"I know I shouldn't have I just didn't want to be put in a position to have to choose. I love you but I love her to, just in completely different ways." He finally seemed to be loosening up.
"You know I never get tired of hearing you say that." I smiled.
"I love you Clarke Griffin." He told me once again that he loved me.
I kissed him "and I love you John Murphy."
We didn't even make it back to the bed that night which was fine with me.
He fell asleep pretty quickly after but I laid there thinking. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute. I knew I made a mistake flirting with a complete stranger earlier when the only person I wanted was lying next to me. I knew I needed to have a talk with him, I had no idea how to find him but my mission tomorrow would be to find him since it seemed we would all be spending a lot of time together here in a couple days I needed to clear the air.
I hadn't told Murphy yet but I was going to go with him. I was going to leave the safety of our current living situation and hope like hell that we could stay alive.
This was my way of showing Murphy he meant more to me than anything, including my own life. I was scared out of my mind and honestly had a very bad feeling about leaving but it didn't matter my mind was made up.
Well I hope at least someone is enjoying this :) Any and all reviews are welcome. whether it's just telling me your enjoying this so far, or have some criticism that may help me.
