Thank you so much for your review, honestly my Clurphy obsession has kind of died as well lol. I actually started this over 2 years ago but just recently finished it.

Chapter 5

We were on the road bright and early the next morning and even though I only got a few hours of sleep I felt refreshed. I shared my zombie killing news with Murphy, he showed a little bit of jealousy that Bellamy had been the one who helped me with it but he seemed to let it go since Bellamy was the one who trained the rest of them.

I knew going through town was going to be a lot different than what I experienced so far. So I knew not to think just because I was able to kill two separated by a fence that I would be able to kill any out in the open. I would try but if I didn't feel comfortable then I wouldn't put myself at risk.

Wells was jealous because he still hadn't gotten his first zombie kill. Yea he trained with the rest of them back at base but it was nothing like getting an actual kill.

The moment we started going through town I could tell the difference, there was a lot more zombies randomly walking through the streets than there had been before. It was crazy being back here, it looked like the 6 months we had been gone did nothing good for this town.

I looked over to Murphy "why are we back here?"

"We hope the people who were from around here might still be here somewhere." He told me and he had a little attitude like I should have known.

"Well who's from around here?" It didn't bother me that he had an attitude I was still going to ask my questions.

"Well Emori was from the same neighborhood that I was and then so was Bellamy, so were hoping maybe both might still be around here."

"Bellamy was from around here?" Once the words left my mouth I knew I shouldn't have asked.

Murphy turned and looked at me "yea, him and his sister lived close to where I grew up."

"Oh. I didn't know anyone except us and Wells came from around here." I tried to play it off like I hadn't been interested in where Bellamy came from.

"They were in a different class than you Clarke. We already established that you have a tendency to not notice people who weren't like you." He said that like it was no big deal but it really hurt my feelings.

"Look I know I used to be one of them people but that changed a long time ago. You made me a better person but there's nothing I can do about who I used to be." I tried to keep my emotions in check but I wasn't doing a very good job.

"You only changed because you had to, the way you were before would have gotten you killed." I couldn't believe he just said that.

"I changed before this shit and you know that." I started getting a little loud.

"Keep your voice down." He glared at me.

I was done talking so I just looked out the window trying to figure out where this was coming from. Murphy has never talked to me like this before. I know when we first met I wasn't the kind of person who he ever thought he'd end up with but I know that I changed the moment I realized just how awful of a person I was.

When the van stopped I didn't know if I should be happy or scared. I hoped putting a little space between us would get him to calm down some. I didn't know what his problem was but I hoped we could work through it.

Miller was the first to get out of the van followed by Bellamy, then the rest of us filed out. We did a quick sweep of those around us and I am happy to report that I was able to get me a few more kills in. It also looked like Wells may have finally gotten his first as well.

"Ok so we can cover more ground I think it would be best if we split into four groups. Don't go too far out, we will search one section at a time then meet back up and do the next section. Hopefully we will find survivors and even more hopefully we will find some of our people." Miller announced once we were all together.

He looked around the group then stopped on Monty and Harper "You two think you're good to go as a team?" They both nodded then his attention was brought to me and Murphy and he asked the same question. I looked at Murphy and he nodded so I followed suit. "Ok so Wells that leaves you with me and Raven you go with Bellamy."

Miller laid out to each team where he wanted each of us to go. Murphy didn't wait around he just took off so I followed him, you know since we were supposed to be a team. I didn't attempt to talk to him, I just hoped when he cooled off enough and was ready to talk he would.

By the time we cleared out the third house he had become so distant that he wasn't even waiting for me anymore. By the time I walked out of the house he was already gone. I didn't see him anywhere. So I walked around the street hoping that I could find him, when I didn't I was beginning to get a little pissed. How in the hell could he just leave me like this.

I heard someone yell Murphy in the distance so I started running toward the sound. Finally I turned the last corner and saw him turning around just in time to see a dark haired girl jump into his arms.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me." I heard her say right before she placed her lips to his.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I just watched as this girl kissed my boyfriend. I watched Murphy stumble back and for a split second I actually thought he was going to pull away from her but I was wrong. He pushed her up against the wall and deepened the kiss. I felt like I was having a bad nightmare. I wanted to take my eyes away from the scene in front of me but I couldn't. No matter how much I didn't want to see I couldn't look away.

I thought I heard someone calling my name in the distance but I never turned and look. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Murphy and this girl. I felt like such an idiot, thinking that he was mine even though our backgrounds were so different.

That's when I heard it, the noise coming from right behind me. I turned just in time to see Bellamy shoot the zombie that was literally less than a foot from me. "What the hell are you doing? You know you have to always be on lookout when you're out here."

I didn't say a word to him, I didn't look back behind me to see if Murphy had saw me standing there. I just walked, past the zombie that was lying on the ground with a bullet through his brain, past Bellamy then straight past Raven who was looking at the situation confused. I didn't say a word to anyone, I just walked to the van not wanting to be out here anymore. I wanted to go back, I wanted my mom.

"Clarke." I heard Murphy yelling just as I approached the van.

I didn't turn to face him, I didn't stop.

"Let me explain." He finally said as I reached the van's door.

Finally I turned around knowing my face was filled with tears. "Explain what? How you've strung me around for almost a year, for what? I don't get it Murphy, why the hell did you even want me here if you was out here trying to find your real girlfriend?"

"She's not… It's not like that." He stumbled on his words.

"It sure looked that way." I hissed.

"We never actually dated. Clarke you, you are my girlfriend." He tried to tell me.

"Well you have a shitty way of showing it." I yelled at him.

"You two are going to have to quiet down some, your attracting more of them." Bellamy interrupted us.

Murphy turned and glared at Bellamy "you stay out of this. This is just as much your fault."

Bellamy looked at him in disbelief.

"Really it's his fault that you go around kissing girls that are like your sister to you?" I yelled.

He turned back and looked at me "of course you would defend him."

"Oh my god Murphy do you feel so guilty about what you've been doing that you have to make it someone else's fault?" I couldn't believe him.

"You can say whatever you want but I know you two have been messing around so why do you even care about Emori?" He seemed so cold.

"Messing around? Really? The only thing we have been doing is spending time together so he can make sure I survive out here. I am only here because you begged me to be. So I'm sorry if you only wanted me to come so I could die because that's not going to happen." I was so pissed.

"How could you say that?" He looked at me in shock.

"Really you don't know? How about because ever since we've been on the road I've felt like you've been pulling away from me. What is it, did you realize this isn't what you wanted? Was you only there before because you had nowhere else to be?" I felt the fresh tears start streaming down my face.

Murphy tried to come toward me but I backed up hitting my back on the van.

I looked at Bellamy "you guys go talk to her and see if there's anyone else in the area that she knows about. I'm going to stay here." Then I turned and looked at Murphy "go with them I don't want you here."

I opened the van door and climbed inside feeling myself break down the moment the door closed behind me. I laid down in the backseat and just allowed myself to cry. I wasn't sure how long I laid there when I heard the door open again and I was surprised to see it was Raven.

When I looked up at her she smiled, I sat up letting her sit next to me.

"Look I don't know what the whole story is here but don't ever let a guy rule your life. There are many fish in the sea and you may find one who's better than the old one." She was trying to cheer me up.

"But I don't want anyone else." I sniffled "I know you didn't know me before this and even after we never knew each other back at the base but I was a completely different person and it was because of Murphy that I realized I didn't like who I used to be."

"So you think you owe him?" She asked.

"I do owe him, without him I would probably be dead right now. I wasn't strong before." I sighed.

"I don't believe that for a moment. You may not have known your strength but that doesn't come overnight. It was already there you just didn't know it yet" I knew she was just trying to make me feel better but it made me smile.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I knew she couldn't actually answer my question but I still needed to ask.

Raven smiled once again "the only advice I have for you is don't let it pull you down. Being out here you have to be the best you can be."

"Sounds like the army slogan." I actually laughed just a little.

"Yea when your best friends were in the service you seem to pick up on things like that." She laughed as well.

"Thank you for coming and talking to me." I told her genuinely. "So did they find anyone else or was she on her own?"

"She mentioned running into a few people a couple days ago but said she has mostly been on her own." She responded.

"So we headed to see if we can find these people?"

Raven nodded "yea their heading back this way. I just wanted to get here first. I thought you might need someone to talk to."

"I really appreciate it." I told her honestly "can I ask a favor?"

"Anything."

"Do you mind if I sit up front?" I really didn't want to be stuck in the back with Murphy and Emori.

"Of course and maybe spending more time with a certain someone might help you get over the one that doesn't deserve you." She winked at me.

I felt my face flush. "I wouldn't say he doesn't deserve me, we just need sometime apart."

"Just enough for someone else to get in." She stood back up and got out of the van just in time for the others to start walking back.

I followed her lead and also got out of the van, she held the front door open for me while I climbed into the passenger seat. I couldn't help but glance over at Murphy who was staring at me. Raven stood at the side door escorting the others back in the van and I couldn't help but smile when she positioned herself between Murphy and Emori.

When Bellamy got in the driver's seat I looked over at him and asked "so where we headed?"

"Actually it looks like we're going to be headed to where you use to live. Emori said they were heading that way, something about there being better supplies there." He said without actually looking at me.

That gave me an idea. "Actually if we're going to be in the neighborhood, we should stop by my house. If no one has ransacked it yet we might actually have some useful stuff there. And it's fenced so we may be able to get a good night's rest there as well."

He nodded but never actually gave me a define answer.

The closer we got to my neighborhood the more familiar everything started looking. Even though so much was destroyed it still looked like home. We drove around for a while but once it started getting dark Bellamy finally looked at me and asked "where's your house?"

I gave him directions and I knew the moment we pulled up everyone was going to see just how much money we truly had. It had always only ever been my parents and myself and I never understood why we needed such a large house but my mom always told me, that if you have it no reason not to get the best. When we pulled up I jumped out of the van, manually opening the front gate. Once they were through I closed it back behind it.

Raven was the first to speak up when everyone was out of the van "this is really where you used to live?"

"Yep. The wonderful life of Clarke Griffin." I said with a light laugh.

"Must be nice to come from money." I heard come from the voice that I had only heard one time before and that was screaming my boyfriend's name.

I turned and looked straight at Emori "yea my life was splendid."

I went to the front door and it was locked, not really sure why it surprised me.

"You want me to climb up to your bedroom and come down and unlock it from the inside?" I heard Murphy ask from behind me.

"Whatever you want to do." I didn't bother turning around.

If anyone could get it done it was him though, he had snuck in through my window so many different times. I saw him out of the corner of my eye going around to the side of the house.

"You don't have to be so hard on him." Bellamy whispered beside me.

I turned and looked at him "seriously? You're taking his side on this?"

"I didn't say that, but he is hurting." He told me.

"Good." I said as soon as Murphy opened the door.

I pushed past him and looked around my house in amazement that it didn't look like it had been touched. I walked straight to the kitchen going through the cupboards and smiled when I found what I was looking for. I had never once taken a drink of any kind of alcoholic drink but I felt like I needed it. I pulled a glass out and filled it to the rim.

When I took the first drink I had to admit that it wasn't completely disgusting. I guess my mom's taste in wine wasn't horrible. I had finished the first glass when Raven walked in.

"What are you doing?" She asked curiously.

I grabbed another glass "want some?"

She smiled "hell yea."

I poured another glass for myself and then one for her.

I watched as she took the first drink "damn that's some good shit."

I couldn't help but laugh 'that's exactly what I thought. But it's not like I had anything to compare it to."

She sat the glass down and stared at me "please tell me this isn't the first time you've had any alcohol."

"I can't tell you that. Lying is bad." I said with a giggle.

She smacked herself in the head "you're going to be so wasted."

"That I may be." I couldn't quiet giggling no matter how much I tried.