Chapter 6

I woke up from the light rushing through my windows. I rubbed my eyes and groaned immediately because of how bad my head was hurting. I turned over so the light wasn't directly in my eyes and hit someone lying next to me. I couldn't help but freak out a little since I couldn't remember most of what went on the night before, it wasn't until I saw the long dark hair piling out from the top of the blanket that I relaxed.

I shook Raven and she also groaned when she started waking. "What?"

"Get up, it's already morning and I'm guessing they have plans to go out soon." I told her holding my head because it hurt so badly.

"For some reason I don't think we're going to be worth shit out there." She pulled the covers off her head and her hair was going crazy.

I couldn't help but laugh "I thought my hair was bad in the mornings."

She laughed "I think I probably have every living person beat there."

"And I think I'd have to agree."

There was a pounding on the door then Bellamy just opened without even waiting for a response or anything.

"Hey we might not have been decent in here." Raven said with a smile.

Bellamy looked back and forth between us "you two need to get your asses moving, were about ready to head out."

"Yea I'll get right on that." I said sarcastically.

He looked at me and the look was actually hurtful "I get it that your hurt but we have more important things to deal with right now than some broken heart."

I couldn't believe he just said that. I opened my mouth to say something but stopped because honestly I had no idea what I wanted to say. Finally I said "screw you." It wasn't my most thought out plan but it would have to do.

"Were leaving in 20 minutes and I expect both of you to be ready." He turned and left.

"Wow what an ass." I said as I laid back on the bed.

"He just really wants to find his sister." Raven said obviously she understood him.

"I get that but why be an ass to us?" I didn't get it.

"He's probably still mad about last night." She said as she got off the bed.

"What do you mean?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Oh Clarke you really shouldn't have drank." She looked at me sadly "you kind of came on to Bellamy."

I stopped moving "I did what?"

"You were obviously doing it to make Murphy jealous and well let's just say that neither of them appreciated it very much." Raven told me.

"Shit." Finally I stood up. "Why am I so stupid?"

"Alcohol and a broken heart isn't a good combination. It makes you do stupid shit." She chuckled.

"Well up until last night I hadn't ever had either so I guess it makes sense." I responded.

"You've never had your heartbroken before?" Raven looked at me amazed.

I gave her a small smile "Murphy was my first real boyfriend."

"Ah. Makes more sense now." She seemed to understand.

After a good five minutes of hunting for some aspirin I finally found some, I took a couple then tossed the bottle to Raven. We were ready and down with the rest of the group before the 20 minutes was even up. I couldn't help but notice that every pair of eyes were on me the moment we entered the room.

"I get it I'm a stupid drunk, it doesn't matter how much you all stare at me it won't change the facts." The words were out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying.

I was never one to put myself in front of a crowd like that but I couldn't stand everyone staring at me.

Miller cleared his throat "alright if everyone is finished judging Clarke then can we get going?"

I gave Miller a silent thank you before following everyone outside.

Since we were going to be searching the area we decided it would be best to go on foot. We didn't have an unlimited fuel source so we needed to save as much as we possibly could. We began as a big group but split into smaller ones as we walked, hoping that we could cover more time. Bellamy was stuck with both me and Raven this time.

Once we were far enough away from everyone else I grabbed ahold of Bellamy's arm and said "hey can I talk to you for a minute?"

Bellamy turned and looked at me "go on."

"Look I'm sorry about last night, I should have never involved you in that." I sighed "I was hurt and I knew he already had his suspicions about us, so I kinda wanted to throw it in his face."

He took a deep breath "I get it that you were hurting and obviously drunk off your ass but you need to make better decisions."

I nodded "I know that. I shouldn't have let everything get to me the way I did. And I especially shouldn't have drunk as much as I did when I had never had a drop of alcohol before last night."

Bellamy actually chuckled "I should have known that was your first time being drunk. I heard rumors about how much of a goody-goody you used to be."

I couldn't help but smile "you heard rumors or was you checking up on me?"

"Well since it was before I even knew who you were, it would be hard to say I was checking up on you." He smirked.

"Then how did you know the rumors were about me?" I was curious.

He let out a breath "there was a lot of talk about the doctor's daughter when you guys were first brought to the base. Let's just say you had a lot of fans."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I seem to have a big fan base until they actually get to know me and realize that I'm nothing like they think. I guess because I was popular and came from money that I was supposed to be nothing but a partier who slept my way through school. Everyone learned quickly that neither of them things applied to me. Schooling was the most important thing to me, which seems stupid now I guess but it's what made me, well me."

Bellamy actually smiled "well I don't know if it matters but I'm still a fan."

I'm glad he didn't wait around for a response because I had none. I hadn't expected him to say something like that. I hurried to catch up to him and Raven and couldn't miss the huge smile plastered on her face.

We searched until the sun started setting and when we had no luck we headed back to my house. I wasn't sure how long we were going to stay there but it seemed like for the time being at least it was going to be our home base. There was plenty of space so I honestly thought it worked well.

We were the last group to get back and I noticed right away that there was some new faces. As soon as Bellamy saw the new additions a smile crossed his face. "Good to see you guys made it."

"I honestly thought you guys forgot about us." The girl said to Bellamy.

He chuckled "you know Miller wouldn't give up until we found Bryan."

My attention went to the guy sitting next to Miller. "I guess I am pretty lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend."

"I hope you knew that way before now." Miller said jokingly.

"You know I did or I wouldn't have stuck around for so long." Bryan leaned into Miller and he put his arm around him.

"You guys are so gross." The girl that came with Bryan said laughing.

"You're just jealous because Fox isn't here." Miller retorted.

"You may be onto something there." She said with a smile.

"Well since you obviously aren't going to make introductions I'll do it myself." Raven walked into the middle of the room "I'm Raven and I take it your Bryan but I have yet to hear your name."

"A girl that takes action, I like it." The girl smiled at Raven "Monroe" She extended her hand to Raven.

"Sorry hunny but you're not my type." She smirked "I'm out here looking for my boyfriend."

This make Monroe smile once again, then she shrugged "well I guess my girl wouldn't like me flirting around with anyone other than her anyway." Then she turned to me and smiled "but we could make an exception with you."

I felt my cheeks flush "I appreciate that but I'm not currently on the market."

"Damn all the pretty girls are taken." She acted like she was hurt.

"Yea including you." I heard Bryan say.

"You do have a point there." She laughed then turned back to me and extended her hand "you probably already heard but I'm Monroe."

"Clarke." I told her as I took her hand in mine.

"Ah." She said with a nod.

I wasn't sure exactly what that meant but I didn't get a chance to ask because she turned and started talking to someone else.

Everyone sat around and talked for hours but gradually one by one we all started heading back to our rooms. I couldn't help but notice that Murphy had disappeared awhile before anyone else and Emori wasn't too far behind. I tried to not let it affect me but how could I not?

I sat in my room trying to fall asleep but had no luck so decided to start going through my old things. When I heard a knock on the door I just said "come in" without even turning around.

When I finally turned around it was the last person I expected to see standing in my room, Emori.

I tried to be as polite as I could be so I smiled and said "hey."

"Can we talk?" She looked like she was having a hard time coming out and asking.

"Sure." I told her as I stood back up.

She shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath than said "I'm sorry about before, I honestly didn't think he would have moved on already."

"So you two were together before all this happened?" I had this feeling and I needed to know if my suspicion was right.

"Yea we actually have been kind of off and on for years." She said softly then walked over and sat next to me on my bed. She laughed nervously "when he told me he was moving to this part of town I was immediately jealous but he was telling me all about this friend that he had made, how awesome they were. He told me your name but never corrected me when I called you a boy."

"So you had no idea that he had moved in with some girl?" I was curious.

She shook her head "nope and once he starting staying out here, we lost contact for a while but he finally came and found me a couple weeks before the dead started becoming not so dead anymore."

My heart hurt. "Is it ok if I ask you a personal question?"

"You can ask me anything." She seemed sincere.

"When he came and found you. Was it just friendly or did you guys go back to one of your on again times?" I needed to know if he was with her around the same time he was with me.

She shrugged her shoulders "well we didn't actually say that we were seeing each other again but I assumed because of what we did that we were."

"Well I don't know what he's told you but we were actually kind of a couple before all this went down as well." I finally told her "but we weren't actually official or anything until a couple days before but for the two months prior he was trying but I pulled away from him because I was scared and now I see I had ever right to be."

"What was you scared of? I don't know if I quite understand." She was looking at me awkwardly.

I really didn't want to share my personal life with a stranger but since she did open up to me I felt it was the least I could do. "Murphy was my first… Well everything… I mean yea I had dated a few boys when I was younger but not when I was old enough for it to actually mean anything. I was so determined to be my best and in my opinion having a guy distracting me did nothing for my future."

I hated that when I looked at Emori she looked like she was feeling sorry for me. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me. Especially not Murphy's other girl.

"I really had no idea. I hope you don't mind me saying but I can't seem to see the two of you together." She looked like she was a little embarrassed to say it but I have heard it all too many times.

"You're not the first to say it. We are complete opposites and I honestly have no idea how we ended up the way we did but I loved him. Well I do love him and I thought he felt the same." I could feel myself getting emotional and that was obviously something I didn't want to do in front of her.

"I hope that we can keep what's in the past in the past. The way this world is now we need to stick together." I couldn't tell if she was being true but she seemed legit so I figured I would take her word and hopefully this wouldn't be as awkward as it probably would be anyway.

"I'd like that. This is going to be a long journey and we need as many people by our sides as possible." Even though I didn't like the idea of Murphy's, whatever she is, here with us I knew I would have to suck down my pride and just live with it.

"I completely agree. And you watch by the end of this we'll be best friends." I just smiled at her comment because honestly I had no idea how to respond.

We sat and talked for a little while longer before she left me alone to think. I looked around my room and remembered how happy I was the last time I had been here. I remember laying on the bed next to Murphy thinking how things could only get better from there. I never knew just a few days from then the world would take such a dark turn. But I was stupid enough to still have hope, I honestly believed as long as Murphy was by my side I'd be ok.

I grabbed the blankets from my bed, pulling comforter, sheets, pillows everything from my bed. The tears started falling but I didn't mind them. I've always heard the best way to mourn something is to cry it out, so that's what I was going to do. I needed to mourn the relationship that I had once had with Murphy because if I was being honest with myself I would never be able to look at him the same. It made me sick knowing that he had been with her. Everything that happened before we became whatever it was that we became I swept under the rug because that was before us. But for him to go back to her when he was still trying to get things to work out with us made me furious.

I looked at the pile of blankets and felt myself breakdown inside. Then looking around the room I saw little by little more and more things that either was Murphy's or reminding me of him. I went around tearing pictures off the wall and just throwing random stuff on the floor. When I finally felt like I could breathe again I looked around and saw the mess but I was too exhausted to do anything about it. I walked to my enormous walk-in closet, which I had to admit was probably as big as the room that we had on the base, and laid down on the ground. I knew I had blankets somewhere in there but I was too tired to even look, I wasn't laying there long before I was gone.