Lost
Bright colored eyes slowly fluttered open to take in a dark, purple colored sky. The blinked slowly as the haze in their mind lingered, lost and confused. Where were they? A long ominous streak of lightning flashed overhead which both terrified and mesmerized the newly awoken child.
The sky shouldn't look like that. It should be blue, like the ocean. It should have calming hues with white fluffy clouds that challenged the imagination and was peaceful to look at. The child smiled. l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰͔̩͈b̡̛̳̖̪̠̥̱̞̠͡a̯͈͙e҉̠̱̖l͖̗͙̜̭k͉̙̬͖͇͚̙̻̕ liked to do that.
A distortion in their mind blocked the tender memory, and left them with an empty hole wishing to be filled. They blinked, not quite sure why they felt that way.
Once they could move their arms, the child slowly pushed themselves to stand. They kept one hand on their throbbing head, while the other hefted them upright. All of a sudden, a blinding hot pain exploded across their chest. They fell forward, clutching their chest as though something big and sharp plunged its way straight through. It pushed deeper and harder until all they could do was scream.
The pain was unbearable.
They coughed out blood as the trauma continued beyond that of their body and into their mind. They saw flashes in their mind, blurred out memories, and a weapon with a star charm through their chest. The world around them grew colder as they cried out. Thin, needle like sensations repeatedly stabbed their arms and legs to crumble beneath them, burning up their body amidst the cold. They turned as stiff as a rock, unable to move, as their limbs felt like they weighed like lead.
Their chest throbbed, pushing and pulling at their heart as though someone was torturing them with an invisible blade. Their mind repeated a single thought on loop - Die. They were going to die… I don't want to die.
Then all of a sudden, the pain subsided like it was nothing. The child heaved on the floor, sweating bullets, completely traumatized and horrified by what they just went through. They patted their chest for a large wound and sighed in relief when they didn't.
Safe.
The child looked around; studying the place they mysteriously found themselves in. It was very dark, perhaps even too dark for their liking. They shuddered, terrified of the shadows that watched them and quickly tried to find the nearest source of light. They traversed through the poorly lit alleyways of a town filled with brick houses, adorned with flowers and purple colored roofs. Papers were scattered on the floor, it's print unreadable.
It didn't take long for them to stumble upon a well-lit yellow brick road. A warm feeling of familiarity spread across their chest; welcoming them as though it was home. However, a faint feeling of dread lingered in their mind. This town felt dead, and that didn't sit well with them. It was too empty. Too empty from what they remember. They mindlessly walked the familiar terrain without a destination in mind, but at the same time, they knew exactly where to go and where they needed to be.
They emerged down a flight of stairs to find a large fountain. A dark, foreboding feeling sat on their chest and a haze of black clouds erupted from their hand. It went by unnoticed as they touched their chest, willing the feeling to go away. It didn't. The feeling forced a memory out before their eyes.
A boy with silver hair, wearing an ornate red triangular scarf around his neck sat beside them, idly chatting and laughing at something. Their eyes widened. They knew this kid, but no matter how hard they tried the boy's name was lost to memory.
They ran forward, trying to grasp the mirage before it disappeared, but tripped on their feet. They hit their head on the fountain and the image faded out. The child shook off the pain and looked around, confused.
What were they trying to do again?
A snowy white flower on top of a whorl of three green leaves fell on their forehead, and the child picked it up, somehow fixated on the mysterious flower. A loud bell chimed behind them and the child followed the source of the sound until they exited into a boardwalk where a massive clock tower could be seen in all its glory. The mechanism behind it wasn't working, but the bells continued to chime.
A strong pull urged them to go closer towards the tower, but something else kept them rooted on the ground. They shouldn't go inside. Never go inside.
They raised a hand to their chest again; questioning the feeling that made them terrified of the tower before them. Curious as they were, the child decided to listen to the feeling and turned their back from it. The bell rang much closer this time, and they glanced back. The child screamed when the tower seemed much closer to them than the last time.
Another deafening ring, and the large structure appeared to curve over them. Everything fell apart on top of them, burying them under its weight. The child screamed as they were dragged into the darkness by a mysterious pull beneath their feet.
They couldn't see. They couldn't feel. There was only the darkness and their thoughts that repeatedly cursed them to die. You're a liar, a traitor. He never should have given you a chance.
l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰͔̩͈b̡̛̳̖̪̠̥̱̞̠͡a̯͈͙e҉̠̱̖l͖̗͙̜̭k͉̙̬͖͇͚̙̻̕ did l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰ l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰ you.
They shut their eyes and fought off the tears on their face. The voices weren't real, just a figment of their imagination. The indescribable voices laughed at their ignorance. A hand grabbed their wrist and the child opened their eyes to come face to face with a perfect mirror of themselves with golden eyes.
You should've died.
The child sobbed, unable to tear their attention from the dark reflection before them. The figure laughed as a shadow crept up their face, leaving only their eyes clear. The swallowed the child whole, throwing the latter in a room filled with nothing. Every breath, every act they can think off was made into nothing by the darkness. It was suffocating. A dark cloud phased over them, circling around their chest and hovered very close to their heart. It offered them a bit of comfort, like a cold embrace assuring them of safety and whispering them to surrender.
Their breath grew shallow; pained and labored as they kept the last fires of their will alight. The darkness receded, throwing them into yet another unfamiliar place.
A ball of purple light shimmered to their left, and the child quickly scampered away as two legged creatures with clawed hands and soulless yellow orbed eyes lunged for them. A fractured memory instinctively made them raise their hand and call for a weapon. Dark energy swirling around their heart traveled to their palm as they reached out for the warmth that came to meet them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
The string of light that danced around their fingers burned too much to touch, and the remaining embers that stuck to them exploded like a fever throughout their body. It was too hot. Their shivering heart shuddered at the warmth that threatened to melt it, and the child ran away; convinced never to call for that power again. Everything hurt too much for them to care about the danger that lingered nearby.
The creature's attention was drawn to them, and before they could scream, the claws tore through their clothes and skinned their flesh. There was nothing they could do but endure the torture. Darkness loomed over them like a comforting blanket, and the child reached out for it, begging for death.
Before the darkness could take them away, a creature with gray fur and white socked legs hobbled over to them and pushed the yellow eyed creatures away. The enemy disappeared in a black wisp, and the cat-like creature patted their head.
Tears swelled up around their eyes. Even though weakened, the child reached for the stuffed animal and pulled them close.
Time didn't exist in this place.
The child kept their head low as they walked around a hoard of shadow creatures that explored a small alley. They jumped through an open window and carefully closed it shut, letting out a sigh of relief at their quick escape. They exited out back and went on their merry way.
They don't remember how long it has been since they woke up here; or how long it has been since they last died. It was what they wished for the first time, and whoever controlled this place, allowed it.
They died over and over again, suffering through jagged claws, or magic, but never truly dying. They awoke completely healed of their wounds, somewhere in this city they were convinced had once been their home world.
They came back every time, but every revival, they returned a little bit different. One might think they should thank the Darkness from keeping alive all this time, but the child considered it endless torture.
Physically, their skin had drastically changed to look more monstrous akin to that Heartless that inhabit this world. A bright shade of red painted their clawed fingers and progressed past their elbows in a charcoal color. Their clothes increasingly became more and more dilapidated and torn every time the Darkness brought them back. Like their arms, black started to creep up at the cloth like it was bathing them in nothing but that color.
Mentally, the child became more and more agitated at their fate. The Darkness offered no answer to their personal questions and only threw danger and chaos their way. With every death, the child grew resentful and bitter. They didn't know who to blame for this and just carelessly threw it around.
Their rage summoned the Heartless, and without a weapon to kill them with the child had no choice but to resign to death. They had a feeling they once owned a weapon that could hurt these things but calling for that power hurt ten times worse than death. They chose to forget about it and searched for other ways to live.
They learned to be resourceful and sneaky. The Heartless never bothered them as long as they kept their emotions in check. The more they learned to be submissive to the Darkness' pleas, the more the Heartless ignored them.
The Darkness protected them, but it was also intent on killing them. They might have sought for answers once, but after so long of nothing, they have given up trying to. The Darkness did as it pleased playing with them like a doll.
A rare chuckle escaped their lips, a doll. That sounded like the perfect thing to describe themselves as.
They loathed this place and everything in it so much that they hoped everything just stayed still and remained dead. They wanted to remain dead. They hated being alive and saw death as the best escape, but after a thousand of those, it felt useless. Caring felt like a chore but an odd fire in their heart urged them to live. They found ways to survive, but it was more of an obligation than a want.
They just didn't feel human anymore. They hardly felt anything beyond that of pain and anger. It always circled around those two. If they could rip out those last two emotions in their mind, they would. However, the child also didn't want to lose the only thing keeping them sane, alone and forgotten in this barren wasteland.
Potted, elemental Heartless flew over them, and the child quickly hid behind their tattered cloak. Once they passed, the child continued on with their head low.
They don't even remember when they started calling those dark creatures as Heartless. It just rolled out of their tongue one time and it felt right to call them as such. Without even knowing where or how they came to be, they just knew they were born from the darkness of people's hearts. They fed off the light, and being the only person alive in this world, they searched for them endlessly.
As much as they hated the Heartless and the Darkness, the child can't fight the feeling of familiarity towards them; something similar to how they felt with the town they woke up in. The truth behind the feeling remained unclear, but their opinion about them now was.
Dangerous as they were, they felt connected to them. Like it was something they could not run away from because of who they were before. In the rare times that the Darkness wasn't out to kill them, it acted like a cold blanket, assuring them of their place here.
It felt like an old senile friend that they went to for advice. When the Darkness whispered promises in their ear, never to repeat the torture ever again, the child naively accepted it. They were aware that this Darkness was a malicious entity that repeatedly hurt them, but without anything worthwhile to live by, this companionship seemed the only way to go.
The Darkness longed for something that they unconsciously wanted as well. No words could describe the feeling in their chest when they first welcomed the darkness in their heart. It was like they reclaimed a piece of themselves that they didn't even know existed. A portion of their mind told them it was wrong to use the Darkness for power, but they stopped caring.
Anything to survive.
It promised to keep them safe, and it did. The Heartless still appeared, but they didn't make any attempt to attack them. Even if they did notice them, a quick nudge in the Darkness made them leave. It was like the Heartless listened to them. Despite losing everything – their identity, their past, and their home - the darkness gave them something to define themselves with. It felt wrong but they didn't care.
They had the power to protect themselves now.
After being granted this influence of the dark, the child couldn't help but feel a little bit excited. They played around with it, first using it on the Heartless until it became much more. Darkness poured out of their heart and hands like it was their own. It made them happy, even if it was just a bit.
In response to being used, the Darkness would often feed its thoughts and feelings unto them. They came without warning so much so that it was hard to delineate what was their own thought, or the Darkness'. However, with their growing apathy over their life, they cared less of which thought was their own and not. As long as they lived, that was all that mattered.
Soon enough, the discoloration of their limbs and clothes subsided. The more they used the Darkness, the more they felt at peace, and the Heartless stopped appearing, only doing so if they willed them to be. With their growing cohabitation, the child stopped caring for answers or their purpose. They followed the course the Darkness wanted them to take. As long as they did what it wanted, no harm came to them.
They let out an exhausted but fulfilled sigh when they reached the cliff overlooking the town. Various flowers bloomed before them despite the lack of sunlight to keep them alive. This world killed everything in it, but for some odd reason, the Darkness gave them this small piece of joy.
They bent down to scoop up the white flower they grew to love since waking in this world and lifted it onto a small pot. This was the only place in this world flora lived, but the child preferred to have some color in town and regularly took some down to the residential. They particularly liked the white one a lot, for some odd reason. They started the trek back down to the fountain, completely missing the silhouette in the sky that just entered their beloved town.
They dropped a pot on the ground when they spotted a woman by the fountain. There shouldn't be anyone here.
The girl introduced herself, but it fell on deaf ears. The Darkness dulled out their senses and whispered for them to run. Without question, they turned and escaped with no clear destination in mind. Anywhere but here. The Heartless appeared to stall her, and for a brief moment the kid looked back to catch the intruder swing around a key-shaped weapon.
An uncomfortable feeling settled on their chest as they stared at the blade. At the same time, a warmth they'd chosen to forget a long time ago started to burn again, urging them to remember. They've seen that weapon before. The child looked at their hands. It's been a while since they answered its call. Maybe the outcome would be different this time. Maybe this time, it'll come to them.
The child raised their hand before them and concentrated on the warmth burning on their chest. The light traveled past their limbs and tickled the edges of their fingertips. However, before they could grab unto it, the Darkness whispered into their heart and mind again.
The light only hurts us. It brings nothing but pain. They use us, lying to us. Don't be fooled.
They retracted their hand, suddenly feeling more at ease with the darkness that protected them rather than the light that has only ever hurt them. The darkness was familiar, and it kept them safe. This warmth, this light, was foreign and nothing but trouble.
As they moved to forget it again, a stream of tears ran down their face. They wiped it off, at a complete loss at the as muted feelings of loneliness and despair that ate them up from the inside. The warmth was dulled down by the Darkness but it lingered at the back of their head, beckoning them to go back.
They missed their friends. The Darkness kept winning them over with empty promises, but her and that weapon… they might know how to save them. Fueled anew by this fragile hope, the child reached out for the light again.
If they were right, the pain would be worth it.
Unfortunately, when they connected their heart with the blinding light at the edge of their palm, the darkness coiled around their heart, burning every muscle in their body and crushing them with the weight of helplessness and sorrow. The child screamed, their voice being drowned out by the abyss, leaving them alone.
You don't deserve that anymore, the Darkness whispered, and the child was inclined to agree. They didn't know why, but they knew it to be true.
Once the Darkness retreated, the child stopped reaching for the light. The pain wasn't worth it. They made sure to avoid the blue haired girl just in case the light started reaching for them again. After what happened earlier, they weren't sure if they could avoid its temptation.
Despite going out of their way to avoid her, they accidentally met her in the fountain again. Every instinct they had screamed at them to run, the Darkness pushed at them to run. However just as they feared, the light, that warmth that still burned in their heart urged them to stay. There was something about her that felt familiar too. She was like that light in them, but unlike theirs, her light was rather comforting. They wanted to know why.
After an eternity with nothing, surrounded by nothing, the child finally yearned for something.
Her name was Aqua. She was trapped here some time ago to save her friends. She claimed to be a warrior of light, whatever that meant, and had the sworn duty to protect everything from the Darkness.
Despite seeking her out, her righteousness made them angry for some reason. They wanted answers for their questions, even though they never really asked nor talked about it aloud. They didn't need her protection. They've gone through death and back again, surviving and outsmarting the Heartless on their own. They weren't that weak to need someone else's help. They've put so much patience and effort into learning the darkness that they'd much rather trust their life with it than some girl with a key shaped weapon.
Aqua followed them everywhere to the point that it got annoying. They've lost her a couple of times through quick parkour's over rooftops and window sills; but she was far more athletic than they thought and was able to catch up. Even if they did manage to escape her, Aqua knew their routine by heart. They had an odd connection with the fountain, and so if Aqua ever needed to find them, all she had to do was wait there.
After some time, Aqua became curious about their past which they couldn't answer because they had nothing to answer with. It was easy to ignore it at first until she asked them about their name.
They insisted that they couldn't remember it, and Aqua suddenly became three times more concerned than before. The more she pressed about their memories, or the lack of it, the more distressed they became.
She asked about their friends, their family, this town, and the child just couldn't keep up with it. They couldn't keep the lid that bottled up their emotions close. The Darkness relished at their panic and carefully stoked the fire. Faceless figures came to mind, nostalgic, beautiful memories that held lost meaning flashed before their eyes, and the more they thought about the past they didn't understand, the angrier they got.
Betrayed.
They couldn't remember when they ran back into the park, but was forced back into their senses when Aqua pulled them into a hug. The child grew stiff at the sudden closeness, and tried to push away.
Then she said it. She said those three important words, those three words that shouldn't mean anything to them but did. "We'll go together," a boy with silver hair said.
"Together…"
"Yes, together."
They reached out for Aqua's hand, only to stop halfway when the Darkness returned. You don't belong there anymore, it whispered. Their hand twitched, and they looked at the ground, downcast. "I can't leave."
"Of course you can… You and I will. We're not supposed to be here, both of us."
Suddenly, the feeling of longing morphed into rage. The boy's immaculate image was replaced with the only memory they were able to retain since waking up here. A blade on their chest. That same silver haired boy with his back turned on them. Running away. Leaving. They reached out their hand, begging, pleading, but were left all alone.
Feelings of resentment fueled their mind, and they slapped Aqua's hand away.
The Darkness relished at their overwhelming storm of emotions and summoned hordes of Heartless around them. Anger. Vengeance. Hate. He hated them for leaving them behind, but they also wanted to get them back. Guilty. It was their fault that everyone died. I killed everyone.
It's my fault.
"KID!"
Aqua's voice tore through the Darkness that surrounded them, and finally awoke them of the dangers their connection to the darkness brought them to. It's their fault. It's always their fault. They trembled in fear of dying all over again, but were assured when she summoned her keyblade, a weapon so familiar yet foreign to them at the same time.
When Aqua told them to run, they didn't hesitate.
They hurt themselves on the way out, the Darkness somehow playing around with their life once again, and allowed the Heartless to rip through them again. They survived, but the thought of dying again, quite possibly for real this time, terrified them.
Not again.
Soon after that, the nightmares happened; or at least Aqua claimed they were happening. The child had no recollection of them whatsoever. They hardly even thought it was possible to dream in this place. Despite this Aqua's continued to be worried for them. She gave them this charm that supposedly connected people's hearts for no reason to help with a problem they didn't even have. They found it foolish, but still accepted the sentiment nonetheless.
The charm was soothing to touch, and felt a lot like Aqua's light. It was safe and caring. It helped them remember bits and pieces of their past that tried to claw itself out. The dream had something to do with a war. A long and arduous fight. They didn't know why, but they remember being afraid.
Their heart ached at the betrayal. Ephemer ran away with a blond haired boy with the most beautiful and softest blue eyes, like the ocean itself. They hated those eyes. The eyes of a liar, so easily forgiven.
Tears fell down the face of a girl with black hair. Her mouth moved, but they couldn't hear her. They made her cry. They felt bad, almost guilty for hurting her
As their vision faded, and the nameless people were left forgotten, all they remember was the darkness and why they're terrified of it.
They tried to solve it on their own, but it became too much for their own. They asked Aqua to help, and they did. However, when she suggested something close to the truth the Darkness took over, and the child fell prisoner to their own bottled up emotions.
Their anger spoke for them, their hatred acted for them, calling forth the Darkness far more than they could, and their fear pushed against Aqua's light, terrified of the future if they went with her. All they've known was Darkness. They belonged here.
No matter how much they wanted to go back and regain their past, that life was already over.
The child woke to a coat of green around their body. It healed all wounds and blessed them with a fresh breath of power and stamina they didn't even know they exhausted. Their eyes fluttered as they sat up, a hand on their head as a migraine lingered despite the cure spell cast on them.
"Kid?"
They looked up to Aqua to their side, brows etched in a frown, looking terrified and concerned for them. She studied her for a while then mirrored her expression. Her hair stuck out everywhere, and her clothes were torn in random places. She was paler than normal, and her face was riddled with scratches and was a little swollen from physical trauma.
Their mouth quivered to ask, maybe apologize for whatever happened, whatever they did, but was pulled in a tight hug instead.
"Don't scare me like that ever again."
"I – I'm sorry?"
They tried to grasp at straws at whatever emotion they might have burst out with earlier and came up with nothing. In fact, they have never felt more relaxed than now. Whatever they did, whatever Aqua did, it made them think clearly.
"You shouldn't be," Aqua said. "I should've been more understanding. The Darkness is keeping your memories. If we found a way to unlock that, I should've expected the darkness to fight back. It just didn't occur to me that it'd use you."
They frowned. Aqua pulled back from the hug and looked at them. Her eyes studied theirs for any sign of a lie, then sighed. "You don't remember again, do you?"
"I… no," they answered truthfully, regretfully.
"That would be for the better," Aqua said while her eyes glanced around them. They were in an open field with scorched markings on the floor, leaving behind an empty charcoal dirt ground and uprooted flora on the floor. It was like a warzone, a battlefield, or worse yet, a graveyard.
"Did I – Did I do that?"
Aqua closed her eyes. "After I suggested we make your nightmares worse, you shut me out. You used… the Darkness like I've never seen you before."
The child frowned, noting the tone of her voice. She sounded disappointed in them. Aqua never did like how they relied on the Darkness far too much. They felt around the darkness trying to seek answers from its cold whispers but felt nothing. It was like the energy that flowed through them had gone after they used it in a fight with Aqua.
They did however feel something inside their pocket. They pulled out an intricately designed dark-purple medal that looped around a silver colored heart emblem on its upper left side. Their eyes widened at the familiar cold that swirled around the metal's edges. My darkness.
"What is that?" Aqua asked.
"A reverse medal. We used it to cast magic…" they said without much thought.
Aqua gasped. "You – you remember?!"
The child frowned. "Remember what?"
"The medal, you remember it."
"Oh..." the child glanced down at the medal again, not really aware of having said that aloud. They stared at it trying to recall more about it, and found it odd that their attempts were not met with resistance from the Darkness. A hazy memory filtered in their thoughts and they continued, "It was supposed to keep us safe from the darkness whenever we used it to fight Heartless. They were stronger than upright medals so we kept using them. We didn't know it was slowly consuming all of us. Consuming me."
Aqua's eyes grew wide. "You used the darkness before this?"
The child nodded. "I don't remember everything, but I know why I'm here. I died Aqua, in a war."
A/N: I have a week off of Internship and now have the time to finish this. Wow, it's been so long since I last updated (May? Seriously? Wow?). Thank you for your patience and waiting for the last chapter to come out! I wanted to put this out during major Kingdom Heart announcements and I so totally missed the opportunity to post it when Aqua-nort was revealed.
Which is probably a good thing because I managed to include some elements of Keybladers being corrupted in the realm of darkness. I am convinced Aqua isn't a vessel but slowly turning into a Darkling, but the white hair is most likely a sign that a wielder has gained control over the darkness instead of being taken over by it. Also sorry for all the Blaine and Lauriam fans here that I made them the bad guys, but its a head canon I've had since the beginning.
I don't know when the prequel-sequel will be posted, but it will focus on the aftermath of the Keyblade war and how Player ended up here. The ending is pretty much spoiled but yeah haha. I can't think of a good title, so maybe you guys can help. I'm choosing between Daybreak Wonders or Dreaming of Tomorrow.
So, till then! See you everyone~ KINGDOM HEARTS THREE IN LESS THEN 3 MONTHS, CAN YOU ALL BELIEVE IT?
