Chapter 9

I felt Bellamy and Echo's eyes on me but I wouldn't look at either of them. As soon as we finished off the last of the zombies that attacked me I went into the nearest room and just sat there. I didn't want to talk to either of them, I didn't want to explain what happened. After sitting there for about 5 minutes I stood up and headed toward the door, I wanted to get this over with.

As I was walking past Bellamy he grabbed ahold of my arm "where are you going?"

I turned and finally looked at him "to get the stuff we came here to get."

I attempted to take my arm from him but he held on to it. He looked at Echo and said "will you give us a minute?"

She sounded surprised "uh. Yea. I guess I'll just go out here and wait."

Once Echo closed the door behind her Bellamy released my arm but he didn't take his eyes off me.

We stood there in a very awkward silence until he finally spoke up "what the hell was that Clarke?"

"What do you mean? I made a mistake, I wasn't paying attention and I almost paid with my life for it." I told him.

"It didn't look like a mistake. It looked like you gave up." He said with so much emotion in his voice.

I took a deep breath than let it out slowly. I met his eyes again. "I didn't want to give up but I didn't think I had a chance, there was so many. I didn't know what to do."

"Promise me something Clarke." His voice was so low.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"Promise me you won't ever do anything like that again." I saw him swallow "I don't know if you and Murphy are trying to work things out or what but you can't come out here distracted. It'll get you killed."

His statement confused me "why would you think I'm trying to work things out with Murphy?"

It took him a minute to respond but when he finally did it was with a shaky voice "I overheard you talking to Raven."

Now I was even more confused "if you heard us talking then why would you think I wanted to get back with Murphy?"

"Because you were talking about how much you still loved him." Now it was his turn to look confused.

"I only mentioned that I still loved him because she thinks I'm ready to move on." I sighed "but I don't know if I am ready because I don't know if I will ever be able to truly get over him."

Bellamy's expression completely changed. "Oh you two weren't talking about you getting back together?" Finally he got it. "Do you want to move on?"

"When I'm ready. But it wouldn't be fair to you if I'm still hung up on Murphy." I had started getting a little nervous.

"Fair to me huh?" He said with a smile.

I hadn't even realized that I said that. "Uh… I meant fair to anyone I might want to move on with."

I could feel the heat creeping up on my cheeks.

He gently took my hands in his. "I hope you meant me."

I could feel my heart beating a million miles a minute. This was the first time Bellamy had ever openly admitted that he had feelings for me. Yea we had our back and forths when we first met and we had our almost kiss a week ago but neither of us had ever told the other that we cared for them.

"I might have." I said after finally getting the courage. "But Bellamy it's not right to ask you to wait until I'm ready, I have no idea when that might be."

"I'm alright with waiting. Just promise me that if you realize that this isn't what you want, be honest about it." I could tell that this was just as hard for him as it was me.

"I'd never intentionally hurt you." I hesitated before continuing "it scares me."

He looked at me confused "what does?"

"How easily I developed feelings for you." I took a deep breath. "There was never anyone except Murphy and I'm not sure how to move on from that."

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The next two weeks went by quickly and the cold was moving in fast. We have been busy the last two weeks making sure we would be able to survive the winter without having to go out much. Somehow through all the busyness Bellamy and I have grown even closer. It seemed that it didn't matter what either of us were doing we gravitated toward each other. I knew I wasn't exactly ready to start anything with him but I knew I wanted to. I knew I was finally ready to move on from Murphy.

The hallway seemed extra quiet which was strange for how many people were currently living in my house. Maybe everyone knew what I was about to do. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The moment the door opened and I saw Murphy standing there I almost lost my nerve.

Before I backed out of it I said quickly "can we talk?"

The look he gave me made it hard for me to walk past him into his room. He knew.

Murphy shut the door then turned and looked at me but didn't say a word.

"I didn't think this was going to be this hard." I said with a trembling voice.

"So what you thought it would be easy to break my heart?" He was obviously pissed already.

"That's not what I meant." I shook my head "Murphy we've been done for a while now and I think I'm finally ready to move on. I know this isn't something you want to hear but I wanted you to hear it from me."

"Clarke you moved on a long time ago. Whether you want to admit it or not. The moment you met Bellamy Blake we were done." Murphy said coldly.

"That's not true." I got defensive because I knew it took me a long time to get over Murphy.

"I don't know if you've been lying to yourself but if you honestly think that's not true then you must be delusional." He had so much hate in his voice.

"You know what Murphy. I came here out of respect but I think I made a mistake." I hated that I let him get to me but I knew I would eventually regret the next words that came out of my mouth. "None of this was my fault. It was yours. You made the decision for us to come out here to find your other girlfriend. I guess I was just the stupid one that followed you."

"She wasn't my…"

I didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence "I don't give a damn what she officially was and wasn't to you. The only thing that matters is that while you were staying with me, getting closer to me you were still seeing her. I know it means something completely different to you than it does me but that doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that this is done. I tried to do the adult thing here but if you want to act like a child then we can do that as well."

He opened his mouth to say something else but I just turned around and walked out of the room. I heard him say my name a few times but I was to mad to respond. My plan was to go back to my room but that's not where I ended up, before I knew it I was standing in front of Bellamy's door. I let out a light laugh, just thinking about him put a smile on my face.

I knocked not really knowing what I was going to say but the moment I saw his smiling face the words flew out of my mouth. "I don't mean to disrupt you but after the morning I've had I really needed to see a friendly face."

"Hmm…" He said smugly. "And out of all the friendly faces you decided mine was the one you wanted to see?"

"Yep that sounds about right." I said as I just walked into his room not waiting any longer for an invitation.

"Yea sure. Come on in." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Well I knew you wouldn't turn me away." I told him as I sat on his bed.

"You know me so well." He chuckled. "So what's made your morning so horrible Princess?"

I opened my mouth wanting to tell him exactly what happened but after really thinking it through I decided it was better not to bring him into that. He had already been thrown in the middle of me and Murphy's relationship and it wasn't fair to him.

"None of that concerns you." I finally said "All you need to worry your pretty little head about is that I'm pretty sure that it won't happen again. I'm pretty sure that I've finally gotten things exactly how I want them."

"Is that so?" The look he gave me right then made my heart jump.

"Well almost." I met his eyes. "There's just one more thing. I'm working on that though."

Our eyes didn't leave each other's. He obviously knew I was referring to him. He slowly crossed the room making his way to me, my hand trembled the moment he took it into his. I didn't have much history with romantic situations but I knew this was one of them and I was about to ruin it. I knew it was coming, I knew he was going to kiss me. Even though I had been waiting for this moment for far too long I turned just as he reached me.

His lips gently touched my cheek and all I could get out was an "I'm sorry."

"Don't." He let out a breath. "You have nothing to apologize for."

I laid my head on his shoulder "you have no idea how much I want to just forget about everything and get lost in what this has the possibility to be but I want to take this slow. I don't want to mess this up before it even starts."

He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. We sat there like that for who knows how long, we didn't say another word to each other but we didn't need to. There was something really special about the relationship that we were building. It wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before.

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Everyone was running around crazy getting set for our last run before winter really hit. The air had already turned down right cold and I knew exactly what the winters could be like here. I knew if we wanted to keep all of us alive then we needed to thoroughly prepare for the upcoming weather change.

I was hoping the medical supplies that we were able to acquire would be enough. It's not that I didn't trust everyone that was currently staying with us but I felt it only made sense to stash some of the medical stuff elsewhere. In my mind it was better to not let people have the option to steal it. The only two people who knew where the rest was hidden was me and Bellamy. He agreed with me.

I was in my room finishing getting ready when my door opened. I saw Bellamy's smiling face the moment I turned around.

"You know I might not have been decent." I couldn't help but make the same remark he had awhile back.

"Well I guess I would have gotten myself a show then." He flashed that damn smile that I couldn't get enough of.

"You know we could always just turn the clock back like 5 mins and try again." I was feeling really flirty.

"Oh is that so?" He finally moved into my room shutting the door behind him.

I could feel my heart attempting to pound out of my chest. "But you know that time traveling thing kind of doesn't work. So I guess we'll just have to wait until next time."

"Next time huh? You going to give me a heads up?" He asked as he made his way to me.

"Or maybe the next time you'll be with me." I couldn't believe the words that just left my mouth.

"You're killing me here." He reached out and ran his fingers down my arms. Even through the two layers of clothes I had on I felt the electricity cursing through my body from his touch.

The biggest mistake I did right then was look up, the moment my eyes connected with his I knew this was it. This was the moment that I knew would happen, I wasn't sure if I was completely ready but I didn't have that choice anymore. When he leaned down, I didn't back away, I didn't move from him. My heart felt like it was pounding a million times per minute but when his lips finally pressed against mine I knew that the timing was right. I knew in that moment that I couldn't picture myself anywhere but where I was right then. I never expected it would take a zombie apocalypse to find my soulmate.

The whole soulmate thing was never my thing, it was Eliza's. She was the one who always believed that everyone had one soulmate and only one. She went on and on about how she knew Murphy wasn't mine and I was wasting time on him. I don't know what it was about Bellamy but there was something, I felt it the very first moment I met him, actually inside Eliza's house.

The kiss was nothing like I had ever experienced before. It seemed to last forever. I would have been alright with it never ending.

"Hey you about ready?" Raven's voice sounded from the doorway then complete silence followed by a very high pitched squeal.

Raven's interruption was enough to make us finally separate. Even though I knew we had an audience standing in the doorway my eyes didn't leave his once we parted.

We heard another throat clear "it's not that I don't like watching my brother make out with the girl he's been crushing on for far too long but we have to get going. We're already late."

Finally we turned and saw that it wasn't only Raven and Octavia standing in the doorway but also about 5 other of our friends. Great far too many people saw our intimate moment than I would have liked.

"Alright let's get going. Why's everyone standing around staring at a couple people kissing instead of getting everyone rounded up?" Bellamy finally took charge.

"Everyone's ready. We're all waiting on you two." Raven said with a big grin.

I grabbed my coat and bag off the bed and headed toward the open door. "Let's go then."

I had Raven on one side and Octavia on the other the moment I made my way to the door. Each looped their arms around mine.

"So you and my brother huh?" Octavia said as we walked down the stairs. I could tell that she was grinning. "My warning still stands you hurt him and I'll kick your ass."

The moment we reached the bottom of the stairs I stopped abruptly. Turning to look straight at Octavia, I needed to make sure she knew how true my next response was. "I would never hurt him."

Octavia's face slowly transformed from serious to a smile "if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're falling for my brother."

I knew it was too soon to love him but she was right. I have been slowly falling for Bellamy Blake since the moment I met him at the military base. I tried and tried to keep burying those feelings especially in the beginning because I did love Murphy.

I realized something right then, Murphy had been right. The moment I met Bellamy my relationship with him had been over. I hadn't wanted to admit it before but now that I was finally able to see the whole picture I knew I would have forgiven Murphy if somewhere deep down Bellamy hadn't already claimed a spot where he should have never been able to.

Just as we reached the door I turned and saw Bellamy at the back of the pack. I couldn't help but smile when I saw he was already looking at me. I had no way of knowing what the future would or even could hold for us but I was willing to see.

So it took awhile to get to this point but finally the first Bellarke kiss.

I wonder with each season of The 100 if we will ever actually get to witness this on the show. I guess it's a waiting game lol