Author's Note: Greetings, loved ones~ Well, this took forever and I am so sorry. So very sorry! I really struggled to write this chapter for some reason, but I finally forced myself until it eventually flowed. I know where I'm going and I even already have the ending and a lot of the middle written, but it's just so hard sometimes to get there and make every piece fit. Also, this is a bit of an experimental piece? So please excuse any weird formatting or tenses. I'm playing with using characters' thoughts more, so anything in italics or parenthesis (especially if it's in italics and parenthesis lol) are thoughts.

Also, whoa! I read the reviews and all the wonderful feedback and I love each and every one of you! Those encouraging reviews really helped me to not give up on writing this fic. Humor (or silly, crack fics at least) is easier for me to express, so sometimes it's hard for me to write more serious things. That said, thank you so much for all the support!

Warning: Yandere!Paparima is here to stay. Please be careful, because this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and a touch of violence. If you have any questions regarding chapter content, please contact me.


The first few weeks had been filled with countless suicide attempts. Kaneki had tried everything from suffocation via his many fluffy pillows to purposely choking on his food. He'd even tried to piss off Arima enough to finally end his suffering. But each attempt was thwarted by an ever-patient Arima or his own damn regenerative powers.

If the house hadn't been so thoroughly child-proofed or if he had the use of his limbs, it would be a very different story. Even if he at least had his teeth and tongue, then perhaps he'd be able to repeatedly bite off his tongue until he choked to death on his own blood. It wasn't the prettiest way to go, sure, but he preferred it over his new life.

As it stood however, Arima ran quite the effective suicide watch. Kaneki wasn't sure how long it had taken, though he wanted to believe that it had at least been a month, but Arima had worn him down eventually. Now, he was too tired to even try to die. While he longed for death, he knew he wouldn't be able to obtain it. Fortunately for Kaneki, he was used to wanting things he would never receive (happiness, freedom, love, etc.), so he was able to deal with that relatively well.

He had come to accept that he would never escape his handler, especially after Arima had "childproofed" him. And he knew that no one would come to rescue him. No one ever had before and no one would save him now either. Even the sweet embrace of death was denied to him. And so Kaneki escaped his reality the only way he could.

In his dreams, at least, he could be free.

At least, until Arima woke him again.


He had wished for a happy dream, so it was no surprise that he was granted a nightmare instead. 'Perhaps nightmare isn't an accurate term,' he thought as he began to recognize his surroundings. No, this was a memory he realized with growing horror.

He tried to remind himself that in reality, he was safe (relatively) and snug in his too comfortable bed (crib). But he could only feel the cold, wet slosh as he stumbled through the dark sewers. He could only feel the all-consuming pain as he looked desperately for an escape from the insanity that hounded him. He felt the same feelings of hopelessness as he had then, knowing that he would never see the light of day again. But then Hide had appeared. Smiling brightly and teasing him as if Kaneki hadn't absolutely lost his humanity.

Hide had smiled. Told him it was okay. Said that they would go home together. Even subconsciously knowing how this would end, Kaneki felt his heart swelling at Hide's acceptance. But even without prior knowledge of this particular scene, as a lover of tragedies, Kaneki should have foreseen what would follow. After all, the higher you climb, the further you fall when everything goes to hell.

Suffice to say, they couldn't go home together. Kaneki was badly hurt and Hide - Hide wanted to help him just like he always had. Whereas Kaneki's mind had once shielded him from this memory, he now remembered everything.

"Eat me," Hide had demanded with a smile, his hand gently guiding Kaneki's head to his shoulder. Injured as he was, Hide easily overpowered him when he began to struggle.

"Sorry, 'Neki. I'm sorry." That had been all the warning he had received before Hide's hand grabbed a hold of his hair and pulled him even with his face. For a moment, he stared dazedly into his best friend's eyes - so determined and devastated at the same time. And then there were lips touching his. A tongue in his mouth. The sweet taste of blood pouring down his throat.

After months of consuming nothing but foul-tasting ghouls, Kaneki found himself finally consumed by his hunger. And in turn, Hide was consumed by him.

All too soon, Kaneki was alone again and begging for Death to save him from his misery.

And ever-doting, Death came to collect him.


"Haise," Arima spoke softly, not wanting to startle his slumbering child. He flinched awake regardless of Arima's gentle tone. "It's time to wake up."

Deathly cold, but deft fingers chased away his tears as he leveled his adoptive father a miserable look. Kill me. Please kill me. But such mental pleas were easily ignored if Arima even noticed them in the first place. If Kaneki's screams hadn't been able to get through to the man, then surely his pathetically begging face stood no chance. As it were, the dense Death God merely chalked up his "pout" to his son's hatred of waking up.

Arima couldn't help, but to be amused by Haise's antics. His son was always so sleepy, yet he did nothing but sleep. And he grew grouchy when he couldn't sleep. He raised a hand to smooth away the furrow from Haise's brow, but the frown stayed firmly in place. Oh well, he thought. It was nothing a good breakfast couldn't fix.

He gently deposited the boy into his high chair, fastening the straps to keep him from falling out. His boy always got a case of the wiggles during feeding time. If it wasn't for the restraints, he'd probably tumble right out of the chair and split his head wide open. And the Reaper didn't want that.

Still reeling from his earlier dream, Kaneki stared in mute terror as Arima placed an innocent-looking bowl in front of him. He knew all too well what the butterfly themed bowl contained. His stomach twisted in both horror and hunger as Arima lifted a cutesy-looking pink spoon filled with flesh his way.

There was no way he could eat now. Not with the memory of eating Hide so fresh in his min- Fresh. Hide had been so fresh. So lovely and lively until he died.

"Eat me, Kaneki," the memory of Hide whispered in his ear. Kaneki could almost feel his hot breath in his ear (centipedes in his ear- In his head, scrambling everything up, scrambling his insides gently-) and his high chair binds suddenly felt too similar to the one's Jason had used. Too similar to Hide's hands as he held him down and forced him to eat, eat, eAT, EAT, EATEATEAT - The strong devour the weak, Kaneki!

Arima paused when his son began to flail in earnest. As usual, Haise turned his face from the spoon laden with the CCG-supplied mush. Arima firmly grasped his chin and tried again only for the boy to purse his pouting lips. It was hard to keep a stern face when Haise was being so cute.

They had come a long way from those early days where the Reaper had to bottle feed him. It seemed like just yesterday that Haise was suckling his bottle. Arima was so proud. His boy was growing so fast. A little too fast…It was hard to watch your baby grow up. Growing up meant leaving and Arima didn't want that. No, he would never allow Haise to just-

Arima jerked out of his thoughts as Haise released a cry. He blinked uncomprehendingly at the small bead of tears trickling out of his son's scrunch-closed eyes. He blinked even more uncomprehendingly at his own hand that had apparently broken the boy's jaw in his distraction. What had he- His frozen spell was broken as Haise let out another quiet whimper.

Dropping the spoon he had been holding (it was broken, as broken as Haise's jaw - completely shattered, broken, but oh-so-pretty just like-), he rushed to remedy his mistake. But his mind was a mess and he didn't know what to do. He scoured his mind for answers, but the baby books he'd read had never covered what to do if you accidentally broke your child's jaw while feeding them. How very unhelpful and narrow-minded of them, he scorned. He ignored the small accusing voice that reminded him that most parents don't accidentally mutilate their child. And most people don't intentionally mutilate their child to keep them from leaving. He's going to leave you, Kishou. He's going to leave and you'll be all alone again. He's going to lea-

Haise's voice had escalated to loud, wordless screams as Arima crushed him to his chest totally heedless of his broken jaw. In his panic, Arima had let his fatherly instincts take over. Unfortunately for the father and son duo, Arima's fatherly instincts were a never-ending mantra of 'Don't let him go. Don't let him go.'

He muttered apologies as he transitioned his death hold into a proper hug, speed walking to the first aid kit he kept in the bathroom. Even in his rush, he made sure to carefully and gently place his son on the counter to free up his hands. Haise's cries had mostly quieted, but remained to remind Arima of just how bad he had screwed up. He scrambled through the silly, cartoon band aids he'd purchased for Haise, but had hoped to never use. But band aids alone couldn't fix broken bones and so they were completely useless. Everything in the kit was useless. Haise's cries picked up again when Arima threw the kit across the room, creating even more of a mess to deal with.

Grabbing his phone, Arima hesitated. Who could he even call? Should he just call an ambulance? Or would it be faster if he ran to a hospital? But he couldn't do that, because Haise was part ghoul and - He paused as it occurred to him that his son was a half-ghoul with super regeneration. He stopped his panicked pondering to peer at his son. The boy was sniffling and hiccuping in the wake of all the stress he'd endured, but his jaw had completely healed.

Arima let out a shaky sigh of relief as he slumped over Haise, awkwardly trapping him against the bathroom mirror. Cautiously, his hands came up to skim over his son's jaw, dropping a kiss into his messy hair when Haise gasped as if expecting pain.

"I'm sorry, Haise," he pleaded for forgiveness, "Papa didn't mean to - Papa's sorry. You're okay now, Haise."

What would have taken most people a month to heal, Haise had recovered from within minutes. Arima broke everything he touched. He was a reaper who only knew how to take and take and take. But Haise would heal no matter how many times he was broken. He would continue to give and give no matter how much Arima took from him. Truly remarkable, Arima thought adoringly as he trailed kisses over Haise's freshly healed jaw. You're perfect for me.


That night, Arima dreamed about a butterfly that even he couldn't crush with all of his terrible strength. It was beautiful and strong even though it looked so fragile. It changed colors and shapes before his enraptured eyes, but it did not truly change. And most importantly, it did not break. He held it tight in his hands and it could not escape. No matter how much it beat its wings and fluttered for freedom, his butterfly could not leave him. He awoke with a smile.

Right on time, the baby monitor came to life with a warbled whine. Not even needing to look at the clock, Arima knew it was 12 in the morning. He grabbed his glasses and quickly glided the short distance to the nursery. As usual, Haise's cheeks were slick with tears as he choked out cries. Another nightmare.

Arima reached for the boy, easily hoisting him into a hug. "I'm here, Haise. You're safe now," he reassured as Haise's cries grew muffled by his shoulder. He grabbed the little crossbreed plushie from the crib and slowly made his way to their reading corner.

Without much thought, Arima grabbed a well-worn book and flicked on the lamp, bathing the room in a soft glow as he plopped down in the rocking chair. He settled Haise on his lap, snatching a quilt to bundle them up for story time. That night, instead of counting sheep to sleep, the father and son read about a sheep that wasn't quite a sheep. Part lamb, part kitten, it was a curious creature.

By the time Arima reached the last ominous lines, Haise was fast asleep with a tear running down his cheek.


A/N: And there will hopefully be more to come soon~ Apparently yanderes don't make such good parents. Good thing Kaneki's a veteran (especially in canon, my goodness!) when it comes to dealing with them ;'D

As I mentioned, this was a bit experimental, so I'm pretty nervous. Please tell me your thoughts? Was anything (formatting and content-wise) too weird? Anything you disliked or (hopefully) liked? Please don't worry about hurting my feelings as every review helps me to improve and/or motivates me to write. Once again, I apologize for the lateness and thank everyone for the support!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day/night~

~Dotti3