Ch. 2
He goes to work as an empty shell of a man, going as Nick Stokes for Halloween. He doesn't even think he could try to be a good Nick Stokes, probably would end up going as the Nick Stokes right after being rescued from his grave. He snorts at the memory. If he would've known this would happen, he would've much rather stayed there and died.
He thinks he's dead now, anyway.
Greg's not even at the lab, and he wonders why, wonders if he took the night off or if he's too much of a coward to see Nick face-to-face after the night of passion they enjoyed the night before. Or had Greg merely endured it? Was he simply waiting for...
He has forgotten that he woke up at Greg's apartment. Was the younger male simply waiting him out, waiting for him to leave and head home, wallowing in self-pity or whatever it is they call it these days? Nick suddenly aches for the feeling of Greg in his arms, and wishes he would've been sober, because then maybe he wouldn't be so appaled about the fact Greg left, and maybe he could think straight without the hangover migrane he's got going on upstairs.
Nick doesn't even remember that he has tonight off. When called on it, he tells Grissom he has nothing better to do, and takes the slip and tries not to think about that if he were at home, he'd only stay in bed all day, trying to wake up from the horrible nightmare he resides in.
And that's when it hits him. If it was his night off, then it was Greg's night off, too, and that would be the entire reason why he wasn't there, at work. That theory still doesn't explain why Greg wasn't there in the morning. Nick didn't think that Greg would ever be the one to do the whole casual sex, see you at work thing, but he's been wrong about Greg many many times in the past, so he finally decides he's not all that surprised.
He's distracted at the crime scene, not even really paying attention, and he finds himself craving his cell phone, which is sitting in the backseat of his Tahoe, just in case he got any bright ideas on the way over here. And besides, if he went to get it, he'd have to make up some stupid excuse, or he'd have to tell the officer on his scene the truth. And he didn't want the first time outing himself to be under these circumstances.
He decides that if Greg cares about him at all, he'll call or text or leave a voice message or...Something. He's beginning to regret his decision of leaving Greg's apartment. Maybe the ex-lab rat was simply doing laundry. Nick curses himself for not looking for a note, but then thinks that Greg wouldn't do laundry anyway.
He processes, and refuses to think about him anymore.
---
He's off shift now, changing in the locker room, when Warrick comes up to him. "Hey, you alright? You've been completely out of it all night," he waves it away, focused on nothing to stop himself from focusing on Greg. "Man...you've gotta stop this, you're bringing the entire lab down with you," Nick catches him shaking his head and looks, doesn't say or touch or anything, just watches. Watches. Warrick is the most interesting thing he's seen all night, but, no offense to him or anything, but even Warrick is pretty boring when you're ignoring him.
He's still accepting that he hates himself, just nods as Warrick continues talking about Tina and the 98-percent chance that she's going to leave him because of the hours he works. Hears himself talking, doesn't pay attention. Says goodbye to Warrick. Leaves the lab.
He's going through the motions because he wants to keep his mind off him. And he was doing well, up until Warrick mentioned his name. Now it won't stop replaying in his head. The night, the kiss, the sex, it's all there. He vaguely remembers falling asleep with Greg in his arms, smiles at the thought. He's repressed it all night, it's nice to wallow in it again.
He remembers that he didn't care if he'd regret it the next morning. He realizes he doesn't. Even if Greg never speaks to him again, he thinks it was worth that one night of utter and complete passion, the one night he felt whole.
He walks to his Tahoe. Gets in. Starts it. Revs the engine. He stops going through the motions, tries to think of something that's not in his normal schedule. Thinks that going to Greg's the other night wasn't normal; wants to do it again.
Nick thinks that there's something odd about how he feels complete when Greg's lying next to him in bed, thinks that it was probably just the alcohol, but he can remember it and he knows he liked it; he remembers smiling and pulling him closer, nuzzling against the scars on his back.
He cringes. Not a good time to think about how he almost lost Greg. Almost lost any sort of a chance to be with him because of a mistake. He thinks never's always a good time to talk about that kind of thing. Thinks back on his burial, but doesn't want to, so he pushes that away too.
He's still in the parking lot, reminiscing, but now he can't move because something's in the way, and it's a person, he thinks, because it's waving its arms and jumping, and Nick thinks that parking lot is a bad place to do jumping jacks, but whoever it is has caught his attention, and he's intrigued and somewhat amused.
Greg. He's not sure if his heartbeat quickens or stops, but he'd take both as a good sign. Greg walks to the window and Nick rolls it down, staring at his lips and wishing that the night never would've ended. He believes he could've drowned in Greg. Thinks it be okay to do that someday.
Greg's talking about something and Nick can't understand, too busy with watching his mouth move, talk, speak, dance, whatever. Nick enjoys how after every sentence or two, his tongue darts out to lick his lips. Nerves, he thinks, and before he can think he's pulling Greg to him, kissing him, and he knows it's probably an uncomfortable angle for Greg, so he doesn't make it last too long. Hears something about how Greg thought he didn't want him, then hears his own voice softly saying that he loves Greg, and there's a grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye, and Nick feels a blush coming on.
He hears Greg repeat it back to him, and he nods to the passenger seat, invites Greg to his house, and doesn't do anything on the way home. Listens. To Greg. His music. His breathing. His thoughts. Anything he can. Nick can't believe it's real, too fairytale-ish, like something you'd see in a Disney movie, but he can't believe it's a dream either, too real. Too Greg. Greg's always confident in his dreams, and this is most definitely the real Greg. He doesn't mean that in a bad way, he thinks Greg's always confident, just...not in the sexual field. Ha. He smiles at his own stupid pun.
He thinks for a moment, then reaches across and takes Greg's hand with a smile on his face, catching pieces of Greg's sentences. "...Note...Neighbors shower...mine's broke...should've called...dead battery...weren't at the lab..." and he smiles, accelerates, and drives home, feeling the best he's felt since he and Greg had sex. He thinks that if Greg and he can work it out now, then they'll be able to work it out for years to come. Thinks that Greg's definitely the reliable one, and maybe he can help make Nick more reliable. Thinks that Greg's pretty trustworthy. That he won't cheat.
Nick thinks that's good enough for him.
