3
Emily once again scanned the thinning crowd. She could not find any sign of Jake. She was mildly concerned having overheard from Dale what had happened to Jake at the airfield. Jake was pushing himself too hard, Emily thought. She knew he had a lot of demons, both past and present that he was fighting hard to keep at bay and she wondered how long he could keep it up before he snapped.
And, if she wanted to be truthful to herself, she knew she was one of them. She could not decide what she thought of Jake being back. One minute she hated him for reminding her of the past and all that she lost. Chris. Other times, she wondered if she had ever really gotten over Jake.
She gave her blond mane a little shake to rid her mind of the bad thoughts circling in it. Last she'd seen Jake was by the wagon with Stanley. What had Jake said, something about a well around the side of the barn? It was worth a shot, she thought as she headed in that direction.
Moving down the side of the barn, she spotted the hand-pump for the old well but there was no sign of Jake. Sighing, she scanned the darkening horizon. Night was coming. As her eyes drifted back, she noticed something under a tree. "Jake?" she called out tentatively.
Hurrying over to the tree, she dropped to her knees next to the supine Jake and gave him a gentle shake. "Jake. Jake. Wake up. Are you alright?" Jake's eyes remained closed.
Pushing down her rising panic, she thought of the first aid course she had had before being certified as a teacher. Placing two fingers on the side of his throat, she monitored his pulse. It was steady. She watched his respiration, which was a bit shallow but again reasonably stable. Unable to resist, she tenderly brushed her finger tips against the blossoming bruise on his cheek. He always did have a habit of finding trouble or starting it.
She still wasn't sure if he was asleep or unconscious. She looked around for help but most of the people had already left. She thought about trying to find April, the town's doctor, but then remembered she had seen her and Eric leave about half an hour ago. She exhaled noisily in frustration. Luckily, her quandary was solved when Jake stirred on his own. He groaned and slowly opened his brown eyes to stare dazedly at her
"Em?" he whispered, his voice thick. "What happened?"
"I don't exactly know. I just found you under this tree, asleep, unconscious, I'm not sure which."
Jake grunted, getting his bearings. Emily settled more comfortably on the ground next to him. "How do you feel?"
"Like crap," he answered honestly with a half grin, half grimace.
"Well that's exactly what you look like too," she teased. Turning serious she added, "I heard what happened at the airfield. With Mitch."
Jake winced and looked away. "He stole my mother's horses. I had to do something," he mumbled.
"It was dangerous to go out there alone, Jake. I think your Mom would rather have you, alive and in one piece than her horses."
Jake sat up a little straighter, his eyes flashing in anger. "What is that suppose to mean?" he asked sharply looking back at Emily.
"Nothing. Forget it."
"No. I won't. What did you mean?"
Emily's pent up frustrations broke loose. "I mean that you have been running around town, playing hero since you got home."
"I'm just doing what needs to be done. Protecting my friends and family. Protecting my town," he replied harshly.
"Protecting your town? Your friends? Your family? Five years ago you left this town in a mess. Your friends. Your family. No word for five years."
The anger melted from Jake's eyes and was replaced by guilt and remorse.
"And suddenly you're back? Protecting the same town and people you so royally screwed?" Emily drew a shaky breath. "And what about me, Jake? Chris dead. You gone. My dad…well. There was no one. No one there for me," she finished, her voice trailing off with a sob.
Jake reached out a hand to brush aside the tear that trickled down Emily's face, but she moved out of his reach.
"I tried Emily. I begged Chris not to go on that job. But I couldn't make him see. Chris was trying so desperately to win your father's respect… he wasn't gonna do anything to disappoint the old man. And your father, he couldn't see, or wouldn't see that Chris was terrified. Only willing to do what was asked of him because he thought it would buy him his father's love."
"But why didn't you do the job. It wasn't like you hadn't already done jobs for my father," Emily countered.
Jake gazed off into the distance. With a hitch in his voice he answered, "This was different, too much. I wanted out and Jonah couldn't understand that. My world was crumbling around me, this town strangling me. I just wanted, needed to get away."
"And so you left, Chris died, and I was left with nobody."
Jake dropped his head to his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Where were you? What were you doing for the last five years," Emily demanded. "I need to know."
Jake raised his head and looked deeply into Emily's eyes. "I can't," he said in quietly controlled voice.
"But Jake."
Jake did what he always did when he felt himself being backed into the wall; he changed the subject and went on the offensive. "What," he demanded, "does it take? I told you the truth about what happened that night. About Chris. And I am not asking you to forgive me. Just to, I don't know, let me know you get it, or don't get it, or something."
"I don't know," she replied softly. "It has been so, confusing. Roger's missing. Your back. The world is, well, I don't know what the world is. I'm just trying to survive."
"Me too," Jake answered, running a hand across his brow as was his habit when frustrated. The moment had passed and life went on, if still unresolved.
Jake slowly climbed to his feet and held a hand out to help Emily up.
"I'd better not. From the looks of you, you'd probably fall over," she said as she rose to her feet unassisted.
Jake gave a half laugh. "So how do we get home?" he asked looking around the empty, twilight-kissed landscape.
"I have a car a mile or so down the road. Can you make it that far?"
"I can try."
They walked in silence to the car and drove to Jake's house under that same umbrella.
"Here you go," Emily said as they drew to a halt in front of the Green's house.
"Thanks," Jake replied. "Look Emily I," but Emily stopped him.
"Let's just... I need… time."
Jake nodded, got out of the car and shut the door. Leaning back through the window, he said, "I never meant to hurt you."
Emily gave a bitter laugh but said nothing.
With a brief nod, Jake withdrew from the window as the car pulled away from the curb and disappeared into the night. With a sigh, he turned and hobbled into the house.
