I leave for a little bit to write my own, original stories and suddenly this fandom goes to the dogs?
Ziggy: It's about gay superheroes.
Everywhere I look there's horrible OC's and self insert fantasies! AND ALL OF THEM HAVE THE WORDS DARK, BLOOD, OR DEATHY DEATH DEATH IN THE GODDAMN TITLE!
Ziggy: There's a lot of rape. Not as much as one would expect, but enough.
-sigh- ... And that's why I'm writing another chapter. Not because of the fame and love I so desperately crave. But because I love this fandom so much, and it pains me to see her bleed.
Ziggy: Nobody cares about your whining. GET BACK TO THE PORN, CHILD!
Zuko: Tch. She actually thinks her book will be published.
Rick: I think it will be.
Zuko: It's a bunch of nerdy 4chan/Superman/yaoi fangirl inside jokes! Nobody with a brain will read it!
Rick: It's got gay sex and a man named Clex. I'll read it.
Zuko: Yeah, I will too... She should stick to writing fanfic though. Least she has a fanbase with something she doesn't own.
Wow, been a while... Well, 8th grade is over now. I'm officially a high school girl. It's a good feeling, to know that in a few short years I'll be a coed. Yaaaay sex.
(Begin Transmission)
Dear Diary,
Where the fuck have I been? WHERE THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN?
Seriously, the last thing I remember was that emo session on top of the mountain! Uncle said that the lightning fried my brain real good and I've been in and out of a coma for the last few months. I asked him about the Avatar and his friends. He said it's all because of the deus ex machine, whatever that is, and the toad. Toad, man.
But now everything's cool. We were surrounded by hot, mostly shirtless bounty hunters today. I think they were called the Altos or something. Well, we kicked there asses soundly... I DID! MY UNCLE IS NOT THE ONLY BADASS!
I HATE THIS FAMILY!
FUCK,
Zuko
Dear WFI,
Where the fuck is my porn?
FUCK,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Hm, I like smoothies. I would of gotten one if Uncle didn't have to play Pai Sho with every Tama, Dai, and Hiroshi. Like a whore.
OMFG those two gay guys are attacking us brb lol!
Love,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Isn't a white lotus like a vagina?
Tch, yeah. Like I would know, right?
I can't believe I have to wait outside like a woman! They're probably in there having gay sex orgies or eating refreshments AND I'M MAD BECAUSE I'M NOT INVITED!
I WANT TO HAVE A TEA PARTY TOO, AZULA! I... I... I'm sleepy...
Zzzz,
Zzzzzzuko
Dear Diary,
YAY! I'm going to Ba Sing Se with my FAVORITE UNCLE EVAH! I'm not quite sure how... But I'm sure it'll be fun and clean and–
... No fucking way am I getting in that flower pot.
No. Fucking. Way.
DUDE, IT'S ICKY AND SHIT IN THERE!
I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!
... FINE! But only if we can go to McDonald's afterwards!
Mm, sweet tea,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
I like boats. Especially men on boats. Men on boats do silly things.
There's this one guy on the boat that's really silly. His name is Jet, which is an anachronism because we don't have those silly flying machines. He has poofy hair, like a silly clown. He has a mannequin and a troll following him around, which is silly. We stole food, which was also silly.
Then we fucked like werebunnies in a utility closet.
Which is silly.
Silly,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Jet is a whiny bitch.
I mean, it was just a fuck. But he's talking about a relationship and shit. Bitch, that ain't how I roll. I told y'all before: I'm just gonna bang some hoes until a baby pops out. Cuz that's how Pimp Daddy Zuzu Rolls, baby.
Now he's being all whiny and bitchy and getting all under my grill and shit. Calling me out and shit. Calling Uncle a firebender and shit. Going all crazy and shit.
And shit.
Love,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Kill me.
I'm working at a fucking Starbucks.
Kill Me,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Uncle's tea is really popular. I think it's because of all the MSG.
Yay additives,
Zuko
Dear Diary,
Jet went off the FO DIZZLE tonight!
For reals! First he was all like, "You're a firebender! You're a firebender! I had two daddies!" And everyone else was all like, "... Dude, wtf? We just want our tea." But he went on and was all like, "Dude! I'll prove my shit be true!" And then he ATTACKED me with his PENIS STICKS! LIKE HE'S FUCKING KABAL OR SOMETHING!
Well, I can have him messing with my rep, so I pulled out some swords and DID A BIT OF FACIAL RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY!
... That line was not very gangsta.
... Whatevs.
Anyway, so then the Gay Mafia came up and dragged him away, presumably to be raped by a guy named Steelz or Dirty Dan or Fluffles or something.
DON'T DROP THE SOAP, BABY!
Love,
Zuko
P.S.: I'm pregnant.
(End Transmission)
Well... I wrote that quickly... But, I want to have an entire chapter devoted to Jin's breasts.
Ziggy: You're still not a lesbian.
Dammit! Ah well, I still have my reviews! They're really my pride and joy, guys! I love every one of you that reads this sorry excuse for a fanfic! CoughandIhopeyouguyswillmakeanattempttohelpmeinmywritingcareercough
Ziggy: Finish the book first, Steven King.
It's almost done!... Making me feel bad...
Zuko: Tune in next update for Jin's boobs, Jin's boobs, Jin's boobs, and my slow decent into insanity!
Rick: See you real soon!
-both wave-
Zuko: ... Who are we talking to?
Rick: Just keep waving...
