Memo: Chapter is up! Lots of fluff!! Review at the end!!!
Disclaimer: Characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.
Warning: New Moon Spoilers
"Bella you really don't have to stay here," Charlie said for the fifth time in two hours. "I'm perfectly ok. Trust me." Oh, I had heard that saying too many times before. One who had promised me he would stay forever; one who said he loved me unconditionally. The one who had proposed…I had never gotten the chance to follow up on that offer. I shook my head, refusing to think about that person. I could feel water brimming on the edges of eyes. I quickly wiped it away, leading Charlie to think that the real reason I was crying was due to the fact that I loved him and refused to leave the hospital. Of course, both of those ideas were absolutely true, but not for the reasons he was thinking. I couldn't leave…not now; not ever. Departing from this safe, quiet hospital and braving the big, bad world; facing the memories that were bound to send me into waves of depression again. I had no strength left. The crying jet lags were overpowering. I knew Charlie saw it in me too. My face probably looked like a dried up raison from all the water pouring down it every day. I chuckled, darkly, wincing as I thought of him. How his musical laughter sent my heart into palpations…I shook my head, forcing myself to look at Charlie.
"I know Dad. I would just feel better if I could stay here until you are absolutely healed." Charlie looked like he was about to argue back, but he said nothing once he saw the hard edge to my face. I turned, heading back to sit in the stiff chair that had become my house over the past week. I settled in, concentrating on the light brown fabric, willing my thoughts to go anywhere else but there. A light knock came from the door. I looked up suddenly, thinking that it was probably Dr. Gerandy. Carlisle had deliberately switched patients- something that gave me much relief. I couldn't bear to see another wonderfully beautiful face. My eyes widened in disbelief—the one person I least expected to come visit me in these times. Jacob Black. He stood in the frame of the door—a hulking figure. His russet colored skin and short cropped hair the same as ever. As if nothing had passed since the time I last saw him on the forest trail leading away from my house.
"Charlie," he acknowledged in the same husky voice that I remembered so clearly. He was careful not to come too close to him. Instead, he stood against the wall, gazing at him with an unreadable expression. "How are you?"
"I'm doing ok Jake. Just a minor car accident, that's all. How's Billy?"
"Billy's fine," he replied. "Is Renee doing ok? I heard she went into labor." Charlie sighed.
"Phil says she should have had the baby already. They might have to do a c-section to get it out now. Renee doesn't know about the accident. It'll just stress her out even more. Phil just told her there was a delay in the air traffic." Jacob seemed to sense Charlie's stress.
"Don't worry Chief. Everything will turn out ok,"
"I sure hope so," he muttered. Throughout this whole conversation Jacob hadn't spared one glance toward me. His eyes remained fixed on Charlie. I guess I deserved the cold shoulder. I used him to make me happy...as a means for the hole in my chest to stop burning. And then I left for Italy…to save the one I loved with every fiber in my body. It had all gone to waste now. My eyes burned and I struggled to push back the tears I knew were coming. I needed Jacob now more than ever. I wasn't going to use him anymore. I had to try…had to try and make him understand. I got up slowly and walked over to him.
"I'll be outside," I whispered, knowing that he could hear. I left the room, walking into a hallway past the vending machines. He was there already, keeping a safe distance from me. We were quiet, both of us staring at the other. I knew I had to say something first.
"Jake," I started. He held up a hand.
"I need to know something first. Are any of your bloodsucker friends here?" I cringed at the word.
"Nobody but Carlisle," I said, my voice cracking. He nodded curtly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"I—I'm sorry Jake. For everything…You have to realize that…I mean I had to…" I trailed off, trying to organize my thoughts.
"Bella…," he said, a painful expression on his face. "You know you're the most important thing to me in my life. I just can't be your friend when he's there. It can't work out. As much as I try to explain that to you, you'll never understand. They're our enemies. Even if you say he's different, I can't try to get along with you while he's there. It's never going to happen…Ever…" He paused, watching my face. Was this the time to tell him? To admit to Jacob what had really happened—that we could be friends now because he was never coming back. Could I finally acknowledge what had passed? Could I tell Jacob that he had left this world…for good? I felt my legs swaying and I tried to hold onto something to steady myself. Jacob was already there. He lifted me in is bare arms, carrying me to a wooden bench with little effort.
"Bella?" he asked, anxiously. "Are you ok?" His hands touched my cheek, brushing away the stray locks of hair. I tried to speak, tried to tell him that my whole world was crashing down, that I felt like the hole in my chest was doubling, ripping me in two. I tried, but my voice remained lodged in my throat. I sighed, resting my head against Jacob's shoulder, crying until my eyes dried and there were no more tears left to spill…
I recognized this scene. I could make out this was a dream from the faint outlines of my consciousness. A dream I'd had repeatedly. It started the same as always. My boots tramped across the sodden earth ground with no sound. It was eerie, quiet. The mossy trees surrounded me, a prism of green and shadows. I wandered on and on, searching. Searching for something, for someone…but I realized something suddenly. There was nothing I should be searching for… Nothing in this empty void that deserved my attention… Nothing except the nothingness…
I woke up screaming, immediately clamping my hand around my mouth. I lifted my head. I was still in the hospital, in the far corner of Charlie's room, a blanket draped around my body. My thoughts were muddled and my clothes stuck to me. I needed a shower. I turned to squint at the clock above the door. 2:30…judging from the darkness it was early morning. I left the chair, taking a peek at Charlie and quietly stepping out the door. Of course, my foot managed to catch in the doorjamb and I found myself on the floor within a second. I winced, touching the tender bruise. Charlie's snoring stopped and then picked up again. I sighed, leaving the room and heading for the lobby. My thoughts wandered to Jacob. He hadn't seemed too mad that I was trying to become friends with him again. Or even that I had held on to his warm hand, sobbing to my hearts content. In fact, he seemed sort of…grateful…Maybe he was just being sympathetic…I could understand that. After what I had done to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to talk to me again.
I left the warm hospital and stepped out into the cold, drizzly rain outside, using my jacket as a shield against the wet droplets pounding down. My truck was located at the far side of the parking lot. I speed walked -since I knew if I ran, I would fall- until I got to the door, opening it and stepping inside. My hands turned the key in the ignition, and I startled at the huge noise the engine was making. I sighed, trying to calm myself. The truck slowly steered out of the parking lot, heading for the house.
As much as I tried to keep my thoughts strictly focused on the road, the events that had just happened brought them back to the dreams. The dreams I had stopped having when he came back…and now, they would continue to keep me up at night, shaking in fear and exhaustion. I shuddered. The haunting nothingness had crept back in my head…this time I feared the dreams would never go away. I clutched at my chest instinctively, gasping, tears streaming down my already dry face. I wrapped myself in the pain—welcomed it actually. I didn't want to keep everything bottled up anymore. I wanted to scream, to cry…to throw things. I needed to do something, anything. For if I was ever caught relaxing, even for one moment, I would end up thinking of him—something I could no longer bear to do.
I realized I had reached the house already. My pale hands relaxed their tight grip on the steering wheel, and I slowly eased out of the truck, trudging up to the house. I flicked the lights on and quickly walked up the stairs, entering my room. Even after sleeping for God knows how long, my body felt extremely tired. My feet sagged towards the bed and I lay on it, fully clothed. My lids shut and the last thing I remembered was his angelic face…
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
ALICE POV
"You know it has to be done Rose!" I shouted. "There is no other way. Bella is our only chance." Rosalie sighed, impatiently, flipping her blond hair around her shoulder.
"You can stay here all night trying to convince me, but it will never work. I won't have her coming in and taking Edward's place in the family."
"God Rosalie," I said, exasperated. "Don't you understand at all? I've seen it already. I know what she can do. Bella could have enough power to bring Edward back!"
"He's gone Alice!" Rose yelled. "We don't have control over the dead!"
"She has a point," replied Emmett from the corner, looking at me intently. I sighed, frustrated.
"Carlisle can you please talk some sense into everyone?" I pleaded. He turned around to face Rose and Emmett.
"You know that Alice's visions are always correct…"
"It wasn't correct when you said she jumped off the cliff," Rose muttered, cutting him off.
"That was different," I retorted. Werewolves were involved then.
"And since the visions are accurate," Carlisle continued, as if never interrupted. "I think that she could be right. At least give this a try Rose. We're not replacing anyone. I promise." Emmett patted her back reassuringly. She turned and left, defeated. Emmett left with her. Esme, Jasper, and Carlisle were the only ones remaining.
"Don't force Bella into this," said Carlisle. "She may have changed her mind."
"I know," I promised. He and Esme left, giving Jasper and me privacy.
"I hope you're right Alice," said Jasper, holding my hand.
"Oh, I'm always right," I replied with a smirk although I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bella's gift could be the only chance we had left…
A/N: …Review and tell me what you think of this chapter!!!
--loveatfirstsite2--
