(Disclaimer: Ok. Nope. Don't own it. I mean…even if I did own it…would it matter? Even Stevens has been off the air for forever. So it's not like I'd get anything from owning it. No money…nothing. So…yeah. Let the story begin!)
oESoRoToESo
Ren splashed some cold water in her face before looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like hell. She had just finished using the bathroom when the waterworks had come down, and she couldn't help it. She didn't know what felt worse: The feeling of her perfect wall crashing down on her, or the fact that Ren wanted it to come down. She didn't want to be perfect…she was a perfectionist who couldn't stand being perfect. That was the problem, though. She might have been a perfectionist, and she might not have wanted to be perfect, but what pained her the most was the fact that she wasn't perfect.
"Ugh!" She wiped her face with a paper towel and frustratingly threw it into the trash can, sighing into her hands. "Now's not a good time to fall apart, Ren. Senior year. Senior year." She chanted to herself gently, as if it would make things better. In all truth, it probably only made things worse. She was going off to college next fall…and she wasn't going to exactly get a break from that. She would probably be working harder at college than at school. And then what was next? Work? Ren sighed. That would probably be even more stressful. She would never get a break…but she didn't need one…she was Ren Stevens. And Ren Steven's didn't need a break.
oESoRoToESo
Tawny sighed as she closed the school doors behind her. Something about the look in Ren's eyes unnerved her. Maybe it was just the fact that Ren should have been visiting her relatives-they were somewhere up in the mountains-instead of staying at school that made Ren seem so distant? But Tawny couldn't believe that that would bother Ren. From all that Tawny had ever seen of her, she seemed to enjoy school. Right? Tawny shook her head. Maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe Ren was tired of it? Maybe Ren Stevens was tired of school? No. No. Ren was a perfectionist…that much Tawny was sure of. But…still…did that mean that she loved school? Maybe everyone had been wrong about Ren Stevens all along…?
Tawny slowly began walking to her house, her thoughts racing as she watched the various teenagers begin the same journey that she was. It was a Friday…which meant that most teenagers would have a weekend full of activities to do, but that wasn't Tawny's case. Normally she would have gone to the movies with Twitty or Louis…but Twitty was currently halfway across Sacramento on an Away basketball game against some random high school whose team spirit involved 100's of people shouting 'Go Bananas!!!' or some other random, awkward name that the team decided to choose that they thought was 'clever'. And Louis was up in the mountains visiting some relatives. Who were they visiting again? Was it their cousins? Their grandparents, maybe? Tawny remembered Louis saying something about not even remembering their names. But, according to Louis, any excuse to leave school early on a Friday and go up into the mountains to snowboard-though Tawny couldn't remember Louis ever being able to snowboard, either, now that she thought about it-was a good reason to kiss anyone and call them Grandma.
Tawny sighed. And her parents, once more, were at some random convention halfway across the country. Tawny would, again, be walking into an empty household. It didn't bother her, really. She just figured that, once in a while, she would actually like to see her parents for more than in a couple of nights at a time. It was like the Dean household wasn't really their home…it was just a place to sleep until the jetlag wore off, and then they'd be off again. The Deans weren't always gone, but they were gone enough for Tawny to truly feel detached sometimes. They'd missed holidays before, it wasn't new, and Tawny never expected them to be there on her birthdays, anymore. They always apologized if they weren't there…Tawny knew they loved her. She just missed them sometimes, that was all.
So…Tawny had no plans for the weekend. It was kind of funny, if she thought about it. She had nothing to do. No plays…no movies…no friends. Nothing. She sighed and kicked a rock on the side of the road, watching it as it rolled into the sewer drain. "Nothing…that's not funny…it's depressing." Tawny chuckled as she took in a deep breath and continued down her path. Depressing. Slowly, Tawny found her thoughts once more going back to the brown eyes that seemed so haunted…so…depressed… in the empty school hallways. What had been the pain behind them? What had been the reasoning? Tawny could feel the cold shiver running up and down her spine at the pain shooting through her every time she thought of those eyes. There was so much pain in them…so much fear…so much…loss. Ren had only left her eyes like that for a moment-completely unguarded- before she put back on the mask she used everyday. But that mask never fooled Tawny. It never had, and it never would. Tawny saw right through it and…those eyes…that pain…it unnerved her.
Tawny spotted a bench across the way, in the park, and quickly jogged over to it, setting her backpack down on top of it. It wasn't like she had to go anywhere anytime soon…and, for awhile now, Tawny had made it part of her daily routine to go to the park and watch the people there. To just relax, really. It wasn't like she was stalking or anything…she just found it calming. Even with all of her yoga and anti-stress exercises-which she hadn't been able to find the time to do lately, anyways-she never had any time to just relax. She knew it sounded kind of weird…but…she enjoyed it. From her normal seat she could hear the fountain in the middle of the park…the soft drizzling sound calming her slightly on-edge nerves. Tawny sighed. She had been through a lot lately…and the park really was a calming place. She sat down and leaned her head against the back of the seat, closing her heavy eyelids. Faintly, the sound of the running noise mixed with the laughing children and parents and the happy high school kids excited about their weekend off but she didn't open her eyes. She didn't really feel like watching today…not today.
Tawny observed people. She couldn't help it. It was something most people knew her for. She wasn't paid $20 dollars an hour for therapy-although she only charged Louis one time…all of the other times for, really, anyone, had been free-because she didn't know a single thing about the people she spoke to, or didn't know how to read them. She knew people…she knew their thoughts…she knew their patterns…and she couldn't help immediately seeing the answers to most of their problems. There were few things-when it came to people and the thoughts of a mind-that trumped Tawny Dean. Ren Stevens was one of those few. Barely, Tawny felt her body relax into the park bench seat, her tense muscles taking in a long needed rest.
It was funny, really, how much of a change Tawny noticed in Ren over the years. Her once sparkling, excited eyes seemed to dull. Not that they weren't as beautiful as they used to be…Tawny always thought Ren's eyes were gorgeous…but…they seemed to lose life. They just seemed…lost. Ren Stevens…what made her tick? What made her work? Even if she did hate school…even if she did hate herself…what made her keep going? Tawny's heart constricted. She was going to keep going, right? She wasn't thinking of giving up…no…no…Ren Stevens would never give up. Ren Stevens would never back down from a challenge…right?
Tawny's whole body seemed to shut off, while her thoughts continued to race, her track of time slowly slipping from her grasp. She wasn't sure how long she had been lying on the bench, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. She felt comfortable and relaxed…
Vaguely, as if from a far off distance, she could have sworn that she heard someone crying. Tawny's eyes shot open and she gasped, only to be faced with nothing. No one was there. In fact, she was shocked when she was met by darkness. "I must have dozed off…" Tawny moaned, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and her head on her hands. She smiled at the sight before her. The park was beautiful at night. It wasn't extravagant…but it was beautiful. The water was still trickling from the fountain, the streetlights all around lit up just enough so that it glared perfectly off the water's surface. The fountain was quaint…it wasn't extravagant either…but it was still beautiful. It was a simple fountain, the water overflowing over the edges so that it would fall into the larger basin underneath the smaller one. The park was pretty much empty in its late hours except for one person left on the benches across the park.
The only person left, lying under an old blanket, a copy of some random magazine in his hands, was Miles…his dark black hair swept in front of his eyes as he read, a small smile on his face. He seemed to notice that Tawny had woken up and turned around to flash her his dazzling smile. Tawny had known Miles for nearly four years now…she had met him her freshman year in high school, where he had been a senior. He had couched her in drama and they became extremely close friends…although, they never dated, Louis always thought that something was between them. Both of them couldn't help but laugh every time something was suggested…but, still, they were close. They had been there for each other, through the rough times in life. He was extremely handsome, no one would doubt…but he was also recently homeless. And his story was, well, rather tragic. He had spent all of his money on his fiancée, Lauren, only to have her sleep with another man on their honeymoon. They got divorced the next day…and, well, Miles was crushed. That was two years ago, now, and he still hadn't managed to pull himself completely out of the dumps. Most nights Miles bounced from house to house, some nights renting out a hotel with the money he made from…god knows where…and the other nights he would snuggle under the same old blanket he was under now and sleep in the park. Tawny always managed to persuade him-if she ever saw him even try to sleep in the park-to sleep at her house, though. The Deans trusted Miles and he almost seemed like an adopted family member into the house. To Tawny, Miles was like a brother…and to an only child…that meant a lot, sometimes.
Tawny yawned and stretched back on the park bench, checking through her bag to see if she had any of her lunch left. She smiled as she came across the turkey sandwich carefully wrapped in a Ziploc bag. Every time Tawny came to the park she usually kept some of her lunch-or made some, so that she could give it to him-and gave it to the struggling man.
Pulling her backpack onto her shoulders, Tawny started walking towards Miles and matched his smile as she handed him the sandwich. "Thanks, Tawny…you're a life saver." Tawny nodded and pulled a dollar from her pocket and handed that to him as well.
"You're gonna make me broke, too, Miles, you know that?" Miles chuckled and took a rather large bite from the sandwich and patted the seat next to him. Tawny sat down and put her backpack in front of her, sighing for what felt like the eightieth time that day.
"You really don't have to…I mean…the sandwiches and dollars a day really add up, Tawny…." Miles whispered but Tawny silenced him with a knowing look and smirked when Miles took another bite out of the sandwich. "I was getting kind of worried, y'know. I mean…you really should be careful, Tawny. You shouldn't fall asleep on a damn park bench. You're gorgeous, Tawny." Miles winked at her, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes. One was red and one was blue…honestly, it did make a wonderful combination. How a woman could ever cheat on that man, Tawny never knew. "You could get raped or murdered. And, honestly, I don't want that!" Tawny laughed and yawned, stopping when a familiar sound came to her ears. It was the same, faint, crying noise that she heard earlier.
"Tawny, what is it?" Miles asked, half of his face stuffed with a sandwich. Tawny silenced him and stood up, listening intently.
"Do you hear that?"
"Yeah. Where…is…," Tawny silenced Miles once more, only this time with a glare. Tawny hesitantly walked to the edge of the park, looking down the street that led to the school. She gasped when she noticed the same shaking shoulders she had seen earlier that evening, in the school halls. It was Ren. Tawny shook her head, turning towards Miles.
"Hey, look, Miles, why don't you spend the night at my house tonight, alright? You know where the key is…I'm gonna go make sure that she's ok." Miles looked down the same way and noticed Ren and nodded down towards the key.
"Are you sure, Tawny? I mean…you guys aren't exactly close…but…she looks like she needs a friend right now." Miles pulled his blanket into his arms and grabbed his magazine as well, stretching his tired muscles out. Miles smiled…he would get a shower tonight! He gave Tawny a small kiss on the cheek before running off towards the direction of her house. Tawny whispered a quick goodbye to him before jogging towards Ren, hoping to hide the worried look on her face. What was Ren doing out so late? It had to be around 7 o' clock at night, from the look of things. Why was she walking? Didn't she normally take her car to school? Was that where Ren was even coming from? Was she alright? Tawny sighed as she halted in front of Ren's slumped form. Ren was on a bus bench, her eyes closed tight, tears cascading down her face. She obviously hadn't noticed Tawny. Tawny knelt down in front of Ren, her thoughts racing for an answer to reach the girl.
"Ren?" Tawny whispered, trying not to startle the older girl. Ren flinched and her eyes shot open, fear in them. Ren gulped. Obviously…she hadn't thought anyone was around…and never, in a million years, would Ren Stevens want to be caught in a moment of emotional weakness. Tawny gently moved her hand under Ren's chin, pulling Ren's eyes up to look at hers.
"Ren." Tawny stated softly, wiping the tears from Ren's eyes. "Come on. Let's get you home. I think you could use a friend right now." Tawny stood up and held out her hand, hoping Ren would take the gesture for help. Ren just nodded numbly and took Tawny's hand, pulling herself up on shaky knees. Ren wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head as they started walking towards the Steven household.
"I'm sorry…I…I must just be on my time of month or something…." Ren started, her voice slightly gruff from crying.
"No, Ren. No more excuses." Tawny shook her head and looked at Ren with a serious face. "You are not making any more excuses and I am going to make sure that you are ok tonight. You don't have to be sorry…you just need a friend tonight. I mean, I might not be your closest friend…but I'm still a friend, Ren. And I think I could help." Tawny placed her hand on Ren's shoulder and Ren couldn't help but jump inside from the emotion in Tawny's eyes. She really cared. Tawny was a friend…she wasn't just saying it…she meant it. Ren nodded and found a smile cross her face at the feeling that moved inside of her. Someone cared. Tawny cared.
"Tawny…?" Ren gulped, feeling herself stop in the middle of the street. Tawny stopped from her stride next to her and turned to face Ren, the concern still on her face. Ren felt the drastic fear hanging over her almost seem to fade out of existence when she looked into Tawny's eyes. Tawny's eyes were shining, even when it was dark. Ren could see the sparkling blue that seemed to melt her to the core flash when their path connected with Ren's brown.
"Yeah?" Tawny whispered, her eyes never moving from Ren's.
"I…I just…," For a moment, the craziest idea crossed Ren's mind. They were so close. Ren and Tawny were so close…their bodies were so close…what would happen if she…what would happen if she moved just a little closer and pressed her lips against Tawny's? What would she do? Ren shook her head. That really was the craziest idea she had ever heard. Ren wasn't…no…Ren wasn't gay. And, even if she was…which she wasn't…she would not, in a million years, fall for her brother's girlfriend. Somewhere in the back of Ren's mind chanted the words 'ex-girlfriend', but Ren ignored it and shook her head once more, trying to clear her thoughts. "Thank you." Tawny flashed Ren a brilliant smile and nodded.
"Of course, Ren. What are friends for?" Tawny continued walking and Ren followed, a small, real, genuine smile crossing her lips, the first in what felt like years. The fear, the pain, the…loss…that had consumed Ren only minutes before was completely extinguished, now, and Ren felt the smile grow even larger as she realized that. She hadn't felt this good in…forever. The girls stood in front of the Stevens household in a matter of moments and Ren pushed her key into the lock, twisting it and pulling the door open, revealing an empty household.
Ren stepped into the house and turned on the lights, closing the door behind Tawny. Tawny walked into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge, "Grab two spoons." Tawny's muffled voice came from behind the fridge door. Ren listened and couldn't help the confused look that crossed her face when Tawny pulled out a gallon of ice cream.
"Ice cream?"
"Yup."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah." Tawny stated, a serious look on her face. "Ok. First off…you said 'it might be my time of month'…which it probably isn't…you were probably just using that to cover up for the fact that you were crying…but, still…what girl doesn't want ice cream on their period?" Tawny pulled the container of the ice cream open and set it down next to Ren and, to Ren's amazement and disgust, sat down on the floor. "And second off…"
"We're going to be sitting on the floor too?" Ren laughed at the thought. The floor had so many germs…so many…blech! Ren didn't even want to think about what the floor had 'so many' of. Ren shook at the thought. It wasn't that she was a complete clean-freak…well…ok…maybe she was…but she just…didn't normally eat on the floor. Tawny was an interesting kid, most definitely, but Ren still found herself smiling at the sight of her on the floor.
"Well…I know it's kind of weird but…" Tawny laughed and shook her head, patting the spot next to her. Ren froze for a moment, thinking it over, and then sat down next to Tawny. Tawny smiled and pulled the ice cream down from the counter, setting it down between them. "My mom…before she would always go away to conventions and everything…when she was, you know, actually here for more than a day at a time…she'd always eat ice cream with me on the floor." Tawny handed Ren a spoon and smiled, a sigh escaping her lips. She was never normally this open with, well…anyone. There was something about Ren that made her feel…safe, almost. It was like, for once, Tawny didn't have to worry about what came out of her mouth. She didn't have to worry if something she didn't want people to know about her slipped out. She felt safe with Ren. Tawny daringly grinned at Ren and pushed her spoon into the ice cream, pulling out a scoop of the vanilla-flavored dessert and raising it to her lips. Tawny knew that Ren might have been lying about her time of month…but, still…what girl could resist ice cream, when it was put in front of them? In one swift movement, Tawny engulfed the spoon and the vanilla taste spread throughout her mouth, making a small smile come to her face.
"I don't normally…eat on the floor." Ren laughed, staring down at the ice cream. "Ah…what the hell…I might as well live for once, right?" Both Ren and Tawny chuckled as Ren took a spoon full of ice cream and let the taste seep into her senses. Soon, both of the girls were talking about everything from politics to authors, things neither of them had the chance to talk about, since it wasn't really found a topic of interest with their friends, both laughing and debating. Neither of them noticed the heavy rain outside while they continued to talk, the ice cream mixing with their smiles and laughter.
For the first time in a long time, Ren was laughing, and maybe…none of the other stuff really mattered, anymore.
oESoRoToESo
(A/N: Alright. So…there's the second chapter. I tried to make it especially long because, well, it took me a lil' while to update! ) So…yeah! Haha.
You gotta love ice cream. And...I promise, it's good ice cream. Yes, it might just be vanilla...but vanilla can be amazing if you just give it a chance. .
By the way…you see that review button? I know…it's gorgeous. It'll strip dance for you if you review. Seriously! No joke! Now review!)
