Chapter 18 - Act First, Analyze Later

Severus found both the wand and the letter from Hermione several days after his confrontation with Ron. They were in a box in his storeroom. An odd location, to be sure. When questioned, Dobby admitted that the box had arrived addressed to him, with instructions inside as to how the box ought to be presented to Professor Snape. If the Professor found this odd, there was little he could do about it. He read over the letter Hermione had written, which was addressed directly to Amelia Bones, with approval. He immediately sent off an invitation to Draco to visit Hogwarts at his earliest convenience, which Draco did. By that time, Severus had already forwarded Hermione's letter to Madam Bones. When Draco arrived, he was clutching a letter of his own: a summons to testify. He was also sporting a rather disconcerting grin.

"I don't know how you did it!" he exclaimed, when he'd seated himself in his usual chair. Severus poured him a drink before sitting as well, but had no comment. "What's the matter," Draco asked, "aren't you pleased?"

Severus had thought his expression was no different than usual. But he knew Draco was rather more observant than the Gryffindors he usually found himself surrounded by. He suppressed a sigh. "The reopening of your father's case came at rather a high price," he volunteered carefully. "It seems Miss Granger has been traumatized by my request."

For all his powers of observation, Draco couldn't possibly see why this should be the case, nor, indeed, why Severus had asked Hermione for assistance rather than Harry. It had been Harry whom Draco had been determined to ask. In the end, however, he didn't feel he had the right. Polite as Potter always was to him, they had never truly been friends. He was about to ask for an explanation, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Bill Weasley entered Severus' quarters upon invitation, and they all shook hands rather formally. There was a bit of uncomfortable silence, during which Draco reseated himself. Severus gestured to the empty chair, but Bill shook his head, preferring to lean against the mantle of the fireplace.

"I'm sorry if I've come at an inconvenient time, but we're having a bit of a family crisis," Bill said, his tone fairly light.

Severus raised an eyebrow in response, already anticipating the topic. It seemed all the Weasleys defended Hermione as though she was a beloved sister. Draco, however, stood again abruptly. "I'll just catch up with you another time," he offered, knowing he would feel uncomfortable talking about his own families various crises with a Weasley, and assuming that the feeling was probably mutual.

"Sit down, Mr. Malfoy," Severus advised direly. "This involves you more than you realize." Draco sank elegantly back into his seat.

At this it was Bill's turn to look skeptical. He was suddenly aware that the news he'd come to bear had somehow preceded him. When both the Slytherins had turned their eyes back to him, he cleared his throat. "As I see you've guessed, this is about Hermione. It seems that Ron hasn't had any luck getting her to talk. She also doesn't eat, sleep, or study. When she told him not to come back, he brought Crookshanks back to the Burrow, because she hasn't fed the cat once since she wrote that letter to Madam Bones."

At the end of this speech, Severus drew a deep breath, and then pulled out a worn wand box from his robes. He could see plainly that before he dealt with Bill, he was going to have to answer Draco's yet unspoken question. He removed the wand, and held it up between the three of them. "Does this look familiar to either of you?" he asked. Bill's eyebrows scrunched at the apparent non sequitor. Draco's eyes narrowed.

"Where did you get that? It's been missing from the manor for years!"

Severus replaced the wand in its box and put it away, knowing that spells would be cast by the Wizengamot to find out who had handled the wand, and not wanting Draco to be tempted to touch it. In a very quiet voice, he began to tell Hermione's story - the story she'd originally told the Headmaster - to Draco. Upon finishing, he discovered the room heavy with silence. Draco had a look of horror on his face that he couldn't hide. Bill took up the narrative from there.

"It was weeks before Hermione left the hospital ward. She told Ron and Harry that the only thing that seemed to penetrate her mind in all that time was a conversation she had with you, Severus. Whatever you said meant something to her. Ron suspects you might be the only person she'll talk to about all this. She sure won't talk to him."

"I have been in contact with Hermione's Minerology Master," Severus admitted after a moment of thought. "She has not turned in any assignments in the last few weeks, since we spoke. It had occurred to me that I might try to garner her interest in one of her assignments or another, so I took the liberty of having the man owl me copies of them. They have not yet arrived. If you feel it would be prudent, I can contact her when they do and attempt to engage her in conversation about one of them."

Draco was looking at him incredulously and for a moment Severus wondered what could have made him admit to such a thing. It was bad enough that he actually HAD contacted Hermione's Masters to check up on her. Bill, however was grinning widely. "That would be just the thing!" he exclaimed, pleased. He'd been sure this was going to be worse than forcing mummies back into sarcophogi. "Thanks," Bill continued, offering his hand to shake again before making his way hurriedly back to the door. Severus watched him go with relief. Now all he had to do was deal with Draco.

He was expecting that not to be particularly odious. Draco had been trained since infancy to control his emotions, and with the exception of anger, he'd mastered the skill at an early age. He was shocked to the core, therefore, when he turned back to Draco to find the boy staring at the fireplace, the horrified look still plastered over his features, and a tear track down his cheek. Severus found he had no idea what to say. He poured them each another drink and sat down, letting his eyes drift to the fire as well.

Half an hour had passed when Draco abruptly picked up his drink again and downed it quickly. "What I don't understand is how she could even look at me," he said quietly. Severus watched another tear fall, and then another.

"The last time you saw her, she had no memory of what happened," he reminded Draco quietly. "But she did know the details. She does not hold you responsible for her difficulty."

Draco said nothing further, and left shortly thereafter. Severus sat for quite some time, staring at the fire and thinking.


Hermione stared dispassionately at the mound of homework before her. Sixteen potions, four minerals she was supposed to collect from their most magical geographical locations and test, and at least twelve papers on various subjects that she was supposed to write. To say that she was behind again was to say that the world was a bit larger than the average oyster.

She'd sent Ron away and now she regretted it. What's more, the great prat had taken Crookshanks with him, as though he was afraid she'd forget to feed the poor beast. But she wasn't forgetful. Not anymore. She wasn't even lazy. Part of her wanted to get out of bed. She had managed it on a few occasions. Part of her even wanted to get a start on all the work she had to do. But she couldn't. She knew with blinding certainty that she couldn't move forward until she'd come to some kind of agreement with the ghosts of her past.

Letters continued to arrive. She responded to some half-heartedly. She wrote back to Harry and Ron when they wrote, but said nothing of consequence. She wrote back to her parents, affecting a cheerfulness she couldn't feel. She even went so far as to tell them she'd been out of touch for three weeks while she was traveling to obtain the mineral samples she had not yet obtained. It was the first lie she remembered telling since the troll incident. Once she'd answered everyone at least once, the owls stopped coming, which is why she was, again, surprised by a letter born by a Hogwarts owl, arriving on a Saturday afternoon.

The Saturday in question had been spent in bed. Indeed, she didn't even rise to open the window, preferring to do so with her wand. The bird flew in, deposited its letter, and withdrew immediately, as if it had been instructed as to her mood (or perhaps warned to avoid the no-longer-resident kneazle).

Hermione recognized Severus' handwriting, and debated over opening the letter. She had sent him the wand and document he'd requested. What more could he possibly want? In the end, curiosity prevailed.

Hermione,

It has come to my attention that the favor I requested has caused you some distress. As that was not my intention, I would like the opportunity to make amends. I understand you are preparing for a trip to the Netherlands. Very little grows there, as I am sure you are aware, and most of the potions I teach at Hogwarts require only carbon-based ingredients. However there are a few potions on my research schedule, which I believe might respond better to the addition of certain minerals found in that area. It seems possible, therefore, that our planned expeditions might overlap. I intend to spend the Christmas Holiday there while the school is closed. If that time frame is amenable, please respond by return owl.

Severus

Hermione read the letter over several times in confusion before her eyes fell again on her pile of assignments, and she remembered the mineral gathering the Masters required of her. She had no plans, however, to do any work at all in the foreseeable future. She sent back her succinct regrets and didn't think about it again until after Christmas.


Severus received Hermione's owl, informing him that she wasn't going to accompany him to the Netherlands. Perhaps that had been a bit much to request of her in her current condition. His thought had been to remove her from the area, which would hopefully cause her to be more at ease. That failed, however, he initiated a backup plan.

The timetable he'd put forth for his trip had been necessary due to the hearing convened on Lucius Malfoy's behalf. Severus knew he would have to testify, and did so. He presented the wand, which the Wizengamot tested, determining that no one had touched it but Severus, Hermione, and Lucius Malfoy, and that it had last been used for Apparation. Draco also testified that the wand belonged to his great-grandfather. His mother was brought in to determine whether she would also recognize the wand. She did.

In the end, however, it was not enough. In spite of the many palms Draco carefully greased, the whole trial was thrown out, citing circumstantial evidence. Nothing short of Hermione's testimony was going to make them change their minds. She, after all, was the only person alive who'd been there.

Following this, and only a few days into the Christmas Holiday at Hogwarts, Severus undertook the trip to the Netherlands alone. He collected all the items Hermione's assignment required, and a few things he truly did want for his own stores. He could, much more conveniently, have purchased what he needed at the nearest apothecary, but that would not have served his purpose. After three days in the bitter cold of the Netherlands, he returned to the bitter cold of London, bearing with him everything Hermione needed to complete the assignment.

After an afternoon of careful thought, he presented himself at the door to her flat, knocking impetuously in case she had any thought to ignore her visitor, which had been her MO for several weeks now.

Somehow the firm knocking at the door penetrated Hermione's sleep-adled brain, and she realized that none of her friends knocked that way. They all knocked tentatively, unsure of their welcome as they were. She pulled on a robe and shuffled out to the door, casting a spell to determine who was waiting outside it. With a bitter smile, she opened it. "Hello."

"Hello. I hope you'll forgive the intrusion. As you couldn't deign to join me on my expedition, I have brought the fruits of my labors to you, instead." Severus, having prepared only that introductory speech ahead of time, was out of things to say, but still standing outside the door.

Hermione shook her head. Then, as he quirked an eyebrow, it occurred to her that she ought to invite him in. She stepped back out of the way, and he swept past her quickly. She watched bemusedly as, after a quick glance around, he made for the kitchen and began removing items from a box and returning them to their original size.

"How did you know what minerals I needed?" Her sharp mind was still working overtime, and the question practically posed itself. She was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, now, watching him.

Severus paused. This was where things got tricky. "Your Master wrote me to discover why you'd not turned in any assignments. Apparently you are far enough ahead most of the time that he didn't want to trouble you with a reminder unless something were actually wrong."

"And what did you tell him?" Hermione asked, clearly annoyed.

Severus didn't answer. Having finished his unpacking, he banished the box, with the tell-tale copy of her assignment still inside. "I wonder if you might offer me dinner? I AM just back from a rather grueling trip." He tried to keep his words light, but managed to sound as presumptuous and arrogant as ever.

Hermione snorted in vague amusement. Some things never changed. For that she was grateful. "I don't have any food here, or I would. Well, there are some crackers in the cupboard," she amended hastily, seeing his displeasure at her admission.

"You keep no food on the premises?" He looked her up and down, noticing she was thin to the point that she looked unhealthy.

His traveling eyes bothered her. "DON'T DO THAT," she snapped angrily, pulling her robe closed more tightly. She turned and fled to the living room, furious with him for bringing up memories she'd rather forget, and with herself for reacting to them.

Severus squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. THAT was not what he'd intended. He glanced around, noticing the Muggle telephone. After a quick search of the paper scraps held to the large metal box with magnets, he discovered the phone number for the Chinese place they'd dined at weeks before. He imagined he'd learned enough about telephones from Arthur Weasley to discover how to use this one. He ordered them food, to be delivered within half an hour, although they originally tried to tell him it would take an hour. He was patently unsure whether he could convince her to let him stay that long.

This task successfully completed, he followed her into the living room, assuming she would have had enough time to come to her senses. "I was simply trying to determine how much weight you'd lost," he said into the silence.

Hermione was staring at the empty fireplace. The shimmer of wards was just visible. She'd closed her fireplace to Floo calls. He wasn't surprised. "I know. I'm not fit company."

"Thankfully I have had little other company to compare you to." He received a dry laugh for his trouble. He seated himself across the room from her and kept his eyes firmly on the fireplace. It was a more difficult thing to do than he would have imagined. He wondered what she'd seen in his eyes that had made her react so.

Hermione watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye. He kept his face averted from her entirely, and she appreciated it. She knew why he was here - yet another of her friends' attempts to reach her. What she couldn't understand is why he'd agreed to such a plan. What did he care if she didn't turn in her assignments? Being a fairly straightforward person, she worked up her nerve to ask him.

"You didn't answer me earlier. What did you tell the Masters?"

Severus didn't allow himself to turn toward her. "I did not respond once I had the information I wanted. I thought it would be response enough if your assignments began to arrive again."

She nodded silently. That didn't satisfy her curiosity entirely, however. "Why are you here?" Now he did look over at her, and again, there was an intensity in his eyes that troubled her.

"As I said in my letter, it appears to be my fault that you have lapsed into this morass of despair." The last three words he couldn't help but tinge with sarcasm. "That being the case, I felt it was my responsibility to -"

"THAT'S what they told you to make you come?" Hermione demanded angrily, standing. "That it's YOUR fault! The great PRATS. As if it could be anyone's FAULT. I just need TIME." She took a great, gasping breath, clearly the prelude to a sob. Severus stood as well.

"I can't believe they would try to blackmail you into coming here. Why? Because I told them you helped me back at Hogwarts, of course," she answered herself. It was clear that she'd forgotten his presence as she talked to herself and paced. "But that's such an underhanded way to - "

"I was not MADE to come here," Severus said, so quietly that she stopped in her tracks. If he'd ranted as loudly as she, she might have continued to ignore him, but this quiet admission got her attention. "I thought I might be of some service. It seems I was mistaken. I will take my leave."

Hermione watched him walk to the door. But as he was about to open it, the bell rang. He looked startled for a moment before turning back to her quizzically. Suppressing another snort of amusement, Hermione pressed a button on the wall. "Yes?"

"China Garden, Ma'am," came the tinny response. She sent an exasperated look at Severus who smirked in response. Hermione pressed another button, which made another ringing sound, and they heard the door open, and someone shuffle toward them in the hallway outside. When the delivery boy knocked, Hermione opened the door and paid for the food, bringing it inside wearily.

Severus was unsure whether he would be invited to stay due to the arrival of dinner, or if he ought just to make his escape while he still could. He was surprised but relieved when she spread the food out on the coffee table and gestured him back into his chair. "You might as well stay and watch me eat," she said resignedly. "Then you can at least report back to them that I've improved in that regard. Maybe then maybe they'll give Crookshanks back to me." This last was said so despondently that Severus immediately wondered at Ron's audacity in taking away her familiar. When he'd first heard about it from Bill, it had seemed a natural inclination. Now, however, leaving Hermione so alone seemed unforgiveable.

"I am not here to relieve the curiosity of the masses." He ate with a bit more gusto than usual. She watched him silently for a moment.

"Then I ask you again, what are you doing here?" After only two bites, Hermione set down her fork and crossed her arms.

"I am here because I am concerned. Is that such a surprise to you?"

Hermione looked at him thoughtfully. To tell him that she was shocked would be fairly insulting. She had come to know him well enough to realize that the heartless bastard who'd taught her Potions all those years had mellowed considerably through Harry's influence.

"No, I suppose it isn't. But you needn't be concerned. I will heal with time. If anyone would leave me alone long enough, that is."

"Am I interrupting your healing process substantially?" he asked, his voice betraying a bit of annoyance.

At this comment, and the accompanying scowl, Hermione laughed outright for the first time in recent memory. "No. You aren't, oddly. Maybe you could come back tomorrow morning and force me out of bed then, too. I think if I could just get up in the mornings, I might be able to work..." she turned a bit red at this admission. He had turned to look at her sharply. "The Dreamless Sleep Draught makes the nights far more bearable than the days."

"You're still taking it nightly? That's extremely foolish. Surely you're aware that it's addictive."

"I'm taking about a quarter of a dose each night. According to all my resources, not enough to become addicted, but enough to keep the worst of the nightmares away. Sometimes I dream, but I forget them in the morning."

Severus relaxed and nodded. "That should prevent addiction, particularly if you begin watching your diet. Certain vegetables can counteract the effect."

Hermione looked back at the dark fireplace. She had no diet to watch. "Eat," Severus urged, noting her response. Hermione pursed her lips, but began to eat again.

When Severus had finished, and Hermione had finished all she was going to, he took his leave quietly, Disapparating from outside her door. The walk back to Hogwarts was long for him, as he wondered exactly what had possessed him to show up at her flat. Clearly she didn't want company. But then, she HAD indicated, seemingly as a joke, that he ought to come by in the morning to wake her.

He weighed the pros and cons of this as he walked. It would be awkward, for certain. But it would give her the opportunity to work on her assignments, and he would get to see her again. He swallowed hard in the darkness, realizing that he'd decided. He would go back tomorrow morning, if for no other reason than that he wanted to see her. He shook his head and tried to think back over their previous encounters to determine when he'd started taking such notice. The pattern emerged in his head, and he stifled a sigh. This was NOT a good time to decide he was interested in the girl. She wasn't in any condition to return anyone's affection, much less his.