AUTHOR: Glinda

TITLE: No, you're not are you.

CATEGORY: angsty, past story, some present day action and romance in future chapters if my dear readers want it

PAIRING: S/J - I'm a shipper so sue me! *panicky* please don't!

WARNING: Swearing, later maybe a little (not too much - couldn't bear to hurt my two favourites that bad! -) graphic violence

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, don't own anything. Just a poor little Uni. student trying to stay sane by letting her imagination run wild. Not making any money.just doin this for fun! Plz don't sue! The song is Its not Easy (Superman) by Five for Fighting if I remember correctly and if I could write music like this then I'd be a pro musician not a struggling journo!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay this chapter and the last one have been edited to make more sense - I hope! Hope you like! And remember! I live for feedback! Hope this format works better paragraph wise - see, I do listen! Ooh and plus I think it can also be an answer to Challenge 1,765 on Heliopolis so I'll send it there when its complete. If you want to publish it other places just let me know and send me a link - always on the lookout for more good fanfiction! (

#I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naïve

Jack stared out at the desert below him as his team flew out on yet another mission in yet another faceless warzone. Thinking of someplace else. "Ground Control to Major O'Neill! Earth to Planet Girlfriend!", laughter from the rest of the guys. If only it were his girlfriend.

"Shut-up Kawalsky", of course Charlie knew damn well that it wasn't the current airhead that he was "finding release in" that filled his thoughts - but a certain comatose 18 year old.

"That's more like it." the guys went back to their conversations and his second in command leaned forward to mutter "what's with you anyway?"

# I'm just out to find, The better part of me#

Jack just shook his head, shrugged and muttered in a barely audible voice "I miss her."

"Yeah, and that much is SO not obvious.she'll get better you know! She'll wake up and slag you off for worrying about her." He shook his head "She's changed you, you know?"

"How?!" he was worried: was he slipping up, distracted what?

"Dunno, just little things, good things I guess. You look out for the rest of us more. If you think our orders are a load of bollocks then you'll say so. You're more driven than you used to be.if 6 months down the line I'm sitting here next to Colonel Jack O'Neill.well I won't be in the least bit surprised."

"I'm just trying to do the right thing."

"You are Jack."

#I'm more than a bird.I'm more than a plane#

"Answer me this. Do you think there really are heroes.you know is there ultimate good and evil stuff?"

"Dunno. I guess, maybe. It's not something I've ever really thought about."

"I mean what if there isn't some," he waved his arms about frustratedly, "some higher power, fate whatever.what if.its all just some big cosmic screw-up. End of the world comes 'Oh, sorry guys' turns out we're fighting for the wrong side all along. What if everything isn't worth it in the long run?!"

#Wish that I could cry, Fall upon my knees#

"Boy its really got to you hasn't it!"

#Find a way to lie, About a home I'll never see#

He gave a non-committal shrug "Maybe?"

#It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve, even heroes have the right to bleed#

"Look Jack, all I know if.stuff happens. We don't know, why we just cope with it the best we can you know. Maybe there isn't some great masterplan or a correct way to live your life.truth is: we'll never know. It's the same with the hero thing. Who do we think of as heroes? Mythical guys did heroing as a career. These days heroes are astronauts and firemen - just guys doing their jobs. We just do the best we can with what we've got and hope for the best. Maybe that's all that really matters in the end."

#I may be disturbed.but won't you concede, Even Heroes have the right to dream#

"Yeah you're probably right."

"Course I am.you ready to do this?"

"As I'll ever be.Right guys! Lets go kick some serious ass out there!"

#Up, up and away.away from me, It's all right.You can all sleep sound tonight

I'm not crazy.or anything.#

"You realise we've spent FAR too much time around that kid.we're even beginning to think like her!"

"Oh no Kawalsky.we've got nothing on her!"

#Only a man in a funny red sheet, Looking for special things inside of me#

"Yeah, I know. She'll be out there saving OUR asses someday won't she?"

"I'd lay good money on it!"

"Damn!"

#It's not easy to be me#