Chapter 14. Shocked Beyond Relief

Warnings: Adult themes, future slash, blood, AU, Vamp Fic

Disclaimer: This is my story! But I do not own Gravitation

Thank you everyone that has reviewed! I hope this chapter is as good as the others! Sorry for the shortness but the next chapter will contain Yuki and Shuichi action. Will Yuki force himself upon Shuichi or will Shuichi find away to escape Yuki's frozen clutches? Please review to find out!

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"So he left you alive," Hiroshi whispered in his ears, words of comfort or so he said. How could anyone find comfort after shoving their hands inside a dead woman's throat? How could anyone find solace when a vampire was stalking them, twisting their dreams into full blown nightmares? How could any living being ever forget the site of blood smeared lips; lips so red, so messy, so coated with fresh splattered blood they were almost surreal. He wanted to die, to let the water of the shower drown him, to cover up the nasty images that tormented him, and wash the blood off his soul. He wanted to pretend, to retreat into his dream world and stay locked up in fairytale where things like that only happened in cliché horror movies. However he couldn't, every thing was tainted.

Instead, all he could do was act like a comatose victim, staring at the tiles of his bathroom floor with no fire or passion in him. He had wanted to wash his hands, to scrub off the smell that coated him like a sticky perfume. Instead he ended up scrapping the skin of his fingers off. Thin, uneven chunks were pulled off like he was ripping off the wings of a fly, disgusting yet entertaining. They had bled, the thin swirls of red slid off his thighs and slithered across the broken tiles. Red, swollen, and stinging he held his mangled hands under the scolding spray of the shower. He had watched, transfixed as the blood swept past him and down the little holes of the drain. Slumping to the floor he stretched his bleeding hands out to play with the dirty water. He stared on horrified as he pressed the pieces of skin through the grating. They didn't quite fit causing him to push harder until they shredded and slip through the opening. He felt like laughing at his achievement but all he could do was shiver. The once burning water had turned into a veil of ice as time had continued moving. He didn't know what hour it was or how long he had been in the compact glass stall. Somehow he knew it didn't matter, he didn't care.

"It could have been worse," Hiro finally said, watching as his only friend carried on like a zombie. He knew the pink haired boy was in shock and he waited for the dam to break.

"And just how could it have been any worse Hiroshi! Tell me, could he have killed me because that would have been better than watching that! Killing me… at least I could have understood," He cried, his knees pressing against the cold tiles as he hung his head and screamed. It was painful, watching the death of that woman over and over again in his mind. It was even more soul trenching knowing that the beast had done it simply to make a point. It wasn't basic instinct or means of survival that drove the demon to suck a life away, no it was because he had ticked him off.

"Innocent you say? Just how do you know that? She could have been anyone, a drug dealer, a murderer…." He ticked the words off his fingers like he was going over a shopping list.

"And what difference does it make if she was? She's still dead, I caused her death!" Shuichi closed his eyes and banged his hands against the tile. He wanted to shatter them, to rip everything away. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to feel.

"Really? So it was you that ripped her throat open. Yes I'd forgotten you grew fangs last night, silly me how could I forget! Listen Shuichi the only one responsible for that woman's death was that vampire."

"Still!"

"Still nothing! You did nothing wrong! So what if he's fixed on you! If it wasn't that woman then it could have been another. What did you think a vampire did? Sucked champagne and ate caviar."

"No….its just… I was so lost in the way my body responded to him that I forget how vampires…"

"Eat?" Hiro offered gently, gripping Shuichi's shoulders and forcing him to turn the water off. The cold air that was present in the apartment nipped at the boy's skin causing his back to arch. Nervously he stood up, goose bumps erupting across his creamy skin as he pulled back the shower curtain and headed for his bedroom. He shivered as he reached for clothes, quickly dressing. Sliding his shirt on, he shot a hasty glance towards his window. It was closed now, the glass covered up with tape and the curtains stapled to the walls. It was a feeble attempt at security, at safety.

"Yes….maybe, maybe I still didn't believe that he was a vampire. I think that because he was so human looking I forgot that he really was a monster. Maybe…I wanted….i don't know what I wanted!" He fell onto his bed as he shrieked, pulling his thin blanket up to his lips, as he crawled into a fetal position. Six hours had passed since the incident, since he felt the insides of a woman. His mind was still reeling and he doubted if it would ever stop.

"What a way to make you grow up quick" he whispered to Hiro angrily as he pressed his eyes shut and tried to will the incident away. I didn't work.

The memory of freezing lips laced with coppery blood, the soft yet somehow rock hard folds of skin pressing against his was vivid in his mind. The sensation he felt as they pressed against his was electrifying. It was as he was being burned alive from the inside out. The heat that had radiated from the corpse was magnifying and left him feeling disgusted and excited. He had fainted, his lips still tingling and his eyes a wide in shock before he lapsed into darkness. The image of stained golden melting in front of him and conversing into a black ball was forced him over the edge and caused him to feel into unconsciousness.

Hours later he woke to find himself in his apartment, the window open, and the vampire no where to be seen. His head was pounding, his body shaking, and the sense that something important had happened thrummed throughout his body. He had tried then, to recall the night's events but was answered only with blackness. He remembered the frustration then he had felt at not being able remember. The images just on the tip of his tongue, just out of his reach. He grasped for them and they slipped through his fingers. That was when he glanced down at his hands and felt the blood drain from his face.

Dried, coated, and splashed with a flaking red substance he began to panic and wring his wrists like a spider was crawling over them. He began to question, to berate why they were encrusted in faded, blackish red. To him it looked like he had dipped them in fruit punch, smeared them in corn syrup, and painted them with black. All he could do was stare, as his memory returned and he went numb. His eyes began to swirl around in his sockets, his mind growing more frantic as he surveyed his body. He took in the site of his haggard appearance, of the state of his clothes. He barely remembered screaming, he knew he had committed the act but the sound never entered his ears. He was too lost in the remembrance of blood sliding over his wrists, his fingers grasping the torn remnants of a jugular.

His mind began to melt, images twisting in his head as he flung himself off his bed and raced to his window. He had slammed it shut, the glass vibrating from the force he had used. He began to destroy his room then, flipping furniture over in the search of something to seal it up. He had found tape, staples, and a sense of urgency as he covered every speck of glass with silver duck tape.

Afterwards his body relaxed, his breathing calmed and his mind was set to pause. Somehow his feet led him to his bathroom and the sink was turned on. The water rushed forth and he waited until the basin was filled. Turning off the water, he stared at his appearance imprinted on the waters surface before breaking that picture by slamming in head into the sink. His lungs begged for air as water flowed into him and Hiro awoke from his slumber and began screaming at him. He had listened, listened to screams before it all became too much and he pulled back. Grasping for air he fell to the floor, water dripping from his hair and chin as he coughed.

Hiro was seething, ranting at him for trying to kill himself. However it wasn't long before he calmed and took in Shuichi's distorted behavior. He couldn't remember the words Hiro had cooed into his ears as he started the shower and climbed in. All he knew was that for the first time in years he was scared for his life and that Hiro wouldn't be able to help him. He couldn't take his own life, Hiro wouldn't allow. That was not how his life would be extinguished. No, death would come from the searing kiss of walking corpse.

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