Leave behind the future...

"What's the matter with you? This has been going on for weeks now, what's up with all that cynicism all of a sudden?"

I wish I knew, my love. What is the matter with me?

Kiara's words still echoed through Kovu's mind. It had been about one night and one day since they had had their argument, and they hadn't spoken since. Kovu couldn't even remember the last time they had avoided each other for that long, probably because it had never before occurred. They had been together almost constantly for more than a year on end, but now… Kovu still loved Kiara with all his heart, and she still loved him, that he knew for sure. But somehow, overnight it seemed, something had gotten in between them. And at first, as he always did, Kovu had blamed himself for it, trying to suppress whatever it was that seemed to hinder Kiara. But in doing so, in suppressing his thoughts and blaming himself, he was actually nurturing the part of him which Kiara feared the most. For blaming one's self inevitably leads to guilt. And it was guilt which had put Kovu on the deviant path he was walking now.
Guilt had been the one thing to dominate Kovu's life with Simba's pride, ever since that terrible day, over one year ago. The unbearable guilt he felt for both his brother and his mother's passing. Indeed, Kovu blamed himself for that tragedy, considering himself both the cause of it, as well as the one who had been able to prevent it, but failed to do so. And the thought of that tormented him, it slowly ate him up inside with each passing day. But he kept his problems to himself, as he feared mourning his family would not at all be appreciated by his new king (as they had both died trying to kill him). And as a future king, he felt it was highly inappropriate to show signs of weakness. But in doing so, in keeping his personal issues to himself, he gave his feelings the chance to fester and develop their own momentum, slowly but surely changing Kovu, revealing parts of a mindset he had thought nonexistent within himself. And that mindset had started to show, he had tried suppressing that as well.
But his efforts in the matter had all changed approximately one month ago, during what should have been the start of a new raining season, a raining season that had yet to start, strangely enough. In a sudden flash of insight, all had seemingly become clear to Kovu. From the moment he heard Simba was planning on celebrating the reunion, thus more or less celebrating Zira's passing, something had snapped within him.
He had suddenly realized he was not to blame. Simba was. It was because of his doing, both in past and present, the Pridelanders and Outlanders had come to clash. Whether Simba had been right to do all those things, Kovu had not figured out yet, for that was greatly dependent of which version of the truth he chose to abide with. And what it was exactly that Simba had done wrong, Kovu didn't know either. Those were questions he'd have to find answers for later. But he did know one thing: if anyone were to blame for Nuka and Zira's passing, it was Simba, not Kovu.
This new insight, however, he had had kept secret as well, (rightly) fearing it could damage his position within the pride. So he had just contemplated in silence, weeks on end, carefully reconsidering all versions of the past ever handed down to him, being careful not to let his revisionist tendencies reach the ears of Kiara and Simba. True, sometimes a little remark had gotten through, puzzling or upsetting Kiara now and then. But never like had happened yesterday, which was of course a direct consequence of Vitani failing to return home, making Kovu sick with worry. Hoping to avoid such scene in the near future, Kovu had wanted to straighten things out with Kiara again immediately, sleeping over it during the day, after which he had wanted to send Enyi out looking for Vitani whilst Kovu himself would straighten things out with Kiara.
Kiara, however, had beaten Kovu to it, as she had spoken to her father long before Kovu even got the chance to confront her. And so, Kovu had, in stead of being able to look for Enyi (who could have gone searching for Vitani), been pressured to accompany Simba on a hunt. A hunt which had turned out to be more of an inquiry, and no subtle one either. But Simba's talk with him had actually had the reverse effect Simba had hoped for on Kovu, as he now also blamed Simba for the disappearance of Vitani.

Think about it: I sent Vitani to whatever fate it is that has befallen upon her because I wanted to avoid Simba having a run in with scavengers. Vitani thus went missing because Simba came over. And now, with his pathetic indoctrination he made to look like a hunt, he has wasted an entire night Enyi could have spent looking for Vitani. What coincidence that he seems to be at the base of the demise of every last one of my closer relatives, from my dad to my sister. Well, maybe not dad… word has it he was eaten alive by hyenas… I should probably ask next time I meet one. But it lies beyond doubt Simba orchestrated all of it, even if he didn't dealt the finishing blow himself.

But as the sun rose, Kovu realized those thoughts would have to wait 'till a more appropriate moment, as he now still had an obligation to his sister Vitani; he wasn't about to give up on her yet. Of course, he couldn't go looking for her himself, as that would lead to a whole lot of annoying questions from the part of Simba as to the actual nature of Vitani's little quest. But he could send Enyi, the other conspirator.
That suddenly reminded Kovu: Kiara was in on his plan to cut some dealings with the hyenas as well!

Oops. Should have remembered that before I started yelling at her... Kovu, imbecile! This complicates things… If she tells Simba, things could go awkward… especially since that little talk I had with the king just now.

The subtle father-son-in law talk he had had only moments earlier had indeed not really been that productive, unless Kovu's aim would have been to annoy, confuse and overly upset Simba (which were exactly the things Kovu was hoping to avoid).


"Kovu, slow down. We need a word…"

Kovu reluctantly slowed his pace, letting Simba gain on him.

"Yeah, I figured as much," he mumbled. From the looks of it, Simba wasn't that eager to start the conversation either.

"I-eh… I had a chat with Kiara the other night about… about your little argument. I've-eh, I've slept it over, and I figured it'd be best if we…" Simba hesitatingly told Kovu. But the utmost inert look on Kovu's face, and the fact he didn't try to respond to Simba, made the king break off his sentence halfway. For a couple of seconds, he just uneasily stared away from Kovu, whilst Kovu himself did just the opposite, openly glaring at his father-in-law. He was kinda hoping that Simba'd begin feeling so uncomfortable he'd let go his subject even before he got to it. But Simba didn't flinch, as he hardened his gaze and decided to look Kovu straight in the eyes.

"Son, is there something you need to tell me?"

"Why would there be?"

Simba sighed at Kovu's feeble attempt to avoid conversation. It annoyed him.

"Look here, son, I might not be as young as I used to be, but don't take me for a fool. I've been a king for long enough now to see when something off. We need a word about what you said to Kiara the other night."

"Apparently…"

"Please Kovu, don't make me drag it out of you. What was it you said to Kiara?"

"I just told her what I thought about your little 'soirée' after the anniversary of the Reunion…"

"That's not all you said. You were talking about 'them'."

"And who might 'them' be?" Kovu sneered with sudden viciousness, surprising both himself and Simba. But much to Kovu's own stupefaction, he didn't just stop there. As Simba stared at him with certain indignation, clearly signaling it was pretty obvious who 'them' were, Kovu snapped at Simba again.

"And what do you know, let this be exactly what I was talking about! Am I really the only one who is able to mention their names without acting like it somehow hurts my throat? To everyone else it's just 'they', 'them', 'him', 'her'... Them who should not be named! Come on, dad, let those names pass your lips too, for a change; amaze me!"

Simba started to grimace even further, now looking genuinely upset, even a bit angry.

"I don't like that tone your taking there…"

But in stead of backing down, Kovu just grinned malignly: he had descended into the same mind state he had experienced in his talk with Kiara.

"Well, I guess you don't like the sound of those names either, eh? But why should you, after all, that's all in the past now, isn't it? Yes, all behind us now…"

Yes, we're all friends now, aren't we?

"Kovu, I'm warning you…"

"Why yes, let's just never speak of it again, then it'll probably all go away by itself."

"But there's nothing that has to go away! There is nothing to speak of," Simba growled in frustration.

"Then why did you want to talk to me, seeing as there's nothing to talk about?"

"In the Kings' name, Kovu, its you we've got to talk about! You're choosing a difficult path here, son… I'm begging you: don't! Don't make the mistake Zira made."

Now Simba surprised himself by speaking his mind when he shouldn't have, as it would just spark up more animosity. But he did nonetheless, and much to his shock, it just seemed to amuse Kovu, albeit in a seemingly sinister manner.

"Ah, so there we have it! By mentioning her mere name, I might just maybe repeat my mother's mistakes (whatever those may be). And that's not even so surprising, I'm Taka's son after all, just the son of the hated usurper... and to you, I'll never be more than that, now will I? And seeing as how his blood flows through my veins, even the slightest mention of his name can turn me over to 'his' side again… ha, what a joke…"

Simba looked a bit ashamed at the remark he had let slip, but he refused to cave I now.

"Kovu, please, try to understand… it's not you , it's not their names; those haven't got anything to do with it. It's the underlying message, the pretexts those names embody. How you think about them, your parents, how you think about what they did…"

"And since when did you become a clairvoyant? My thoughts are my own. And I can figure out the truth by myself."

"No, you can't… you'll just figure our 'your' truth… 'their' truth."

"And why would that be any more erroneous than yours?" Kovu coldly noted, flabbergasting Simba, whose nose began smelling faint traces of betrayal, "After all, everyone else involved with a different viewpoint being dead isn't really what I'd call a legitimate ground for justification."

And as Simba just stared in disbelief, Kovu couldn't help but consider 'What irony that one killer of lions is branded a usurper, whilst another killer of lions is crowned king…'

But he was wise enough to at least keep that one to himself.


"Finally, here you are!"

As always, Enyi remained unnervingly inert.

"You require my presence, sir?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I've been looking for you all morning. 't Was a good thing you weren't out hunting again."

"You could have had someone summon me…"

"Indeed I could have," Kovu frowned, "But I wanted to talk to you 'bout our little secret, and the more lions get involved the less of a secret it becomes."

"Sire?"

'Get to the point already,' Kovu could almost hear her think.

"Well, the truth is I have another favor to ask you. Now, I know you've already been more than helpful, and I've already asked a lot of you: I understand it's not easy to have to lie to the king…"

"You are our king, sire. You're orders rank above our allegiance to Simba."

"Yeah but… huh? I am? They do?" Kovu responded a bit surprised, imagining briefly not having heard what Enyi said, "I think you're a bit premature on that, I ain't no king just yet…"

And I doubt Simba will ever give me the opportunity now that I've pissed him of so…

"My liege, my loyalty, and I dare say that of all Outlanders, lies with you. You should never doubt that. We followed you into Simba's pride…"

And you'll follow me back out again?

"That's… good to know… So you won't mind another law-defying assignment, I assume?"

"Thy bidding is my command," Enyi replied stoically.

"I guess that counts as some sort of consent… anyhow, I assume you noticed Vitani hasn't come back yet."

"I'm not the only one who noticed. I hope that little story you told Simba sticks for the time being."

"Well, as I'm the better liar among the two of us, as you pointed out the other day, I'm pretty sure we've still got a couple of days before the king becomes suspicious…"

Or less, if me and Simba end up in argument again, or if Kiara has a little slip of the tongue.

"I'm also pretty sure Vitani is probably fine, but I'm not taking any chances; I've got few enough relatives as it is," Kovu grinned, but Enyi remained as motionless as ever, "So I'm asking you to go find her.

"Sounds easy enough…"

"Well, would you look at that, Enyi discovered irony! There might just be hope for you still."

But Enyi didn't even let loose a faint smile, so Kovu had to reconsider.

"Hmmm, to you, humor is just something that happens to other lions, isn't it?" Kovu sighed, "Anyhow, as doubt it'll be 'easy enough', I think it'd be best if you considered a somehow what… subtle approach to locating Vitani."

"I sneak in?"

"Pretty much, yeah. To that end, it might be a good idea to pick a different route than Vitani did, just 'till you're on hyena prime. Try following the White Pass-river, then sneak in through the hills to the northeast, past the Elephant Graveyard."

"Isn't that very rough terrain?"

"Once you leave the river and head into the hills, yeah. But that's the point; no-one would be stupid enough to attack through that kind of terrain, so there'll be less surveillance," Kovu explained.

"And a bit of rough terrain doesn't scare a true Outlander," Enyi added with in a certain self-righteous manner.

"That's one way to put it… But do make sure you keep it clean, all right? I sent Vitani there to solve problems, not to aggravate them. If need be, fight your way out, but don't fight your way in unless you have to do so to get to Vitani; her well-being is of course of primary concern. So remember: first, look after yourself, then look after Vitani, then try keeping the peace. Got that?"

"Nothing to it, sire. Consider it done."

And now hope she's as able as she is self-confident…

After a formal greeting, in which Enyi almost hailed Kovu as the king (which he wasn't just yet, so she didn't), she took of without further comment, feeling confident Kovu would be more than able to make something up to explain for her departure to the pride; it would after all be just another lie in an ever growing succession. But as Enyi left, Kovu considered that making up some make-believe reason for Enyi leaving wasn't even half-bad, considering the much more difficult task which awaited him now.

"And now for the hard part…" Kovu mumbled as he set out to look for Kiara, so he could try to straighten things out between them again. But considering Simba probably already informed her of Kovu's deviant opinions, that would prove to be a pointless endeavor at best. Or maybe not; Kiara was after all more understanding, even sensible than her father. And his love for her, and her love for him, had already conquered infinitely more difficult challenges, and would hopefully continue to do so.