Life Keeps Going (Ch2: Things are getting Sirius)
My last glimpse of the real world was of Harry's face. I will never forget the expression he bore… The pain, sorrow, guilt. It was his eyes that really hit me. When he looked at me that final time, they weren't dancing with the light I had grown to know, but were wide with shock and fear. Harry blamed himself for what happened to me, and I can't stand it. I had put myself in danger. That was my choice, my decision, and even if he hadn't been there, I still would have gone.
Harry was my last glance of sanity, before that cursed curtain swallowed me up, hurling me into silence. Into the Darkness.
Harry's face was burned into my mind after that, and I can't escape him. He is all around me. It is what keeps me going. Without Harry, I would have stopped fighting back ages ago. I would have just let myself drift off like the rest of them, drowning in the Darkness for all of eternity.
That's what happens to them once they give up. Once they stop fighting. They give up hope. They give in to the Darkness. They let it take them over.
I am determined not to let it take me.
I survived 12 years in Azkaban; eternal Darkness and pain has nothing on me. Whenever I feel weak, I just remember Harry. He gives me the strength to keep moving.
Occasionally, I bump into another lost soul. When I do, I always stop and make an effort to help. But they have been here much, much longer than I. Hundreds of thousands of centuries some of them. I try to get them to start fighting the Darkness again. But they never do. I think once you give into it, you can't come back out. That only fuels my drive to withstand it.
Sometimes I can see a light flicker in the distance. You must understand that after a seemingly eternity in an unknown black hole of Darkness, any form of light is welcomed. I like to pretend that that light shines when one of us gets out. But I don't know. Maybe it's just my brain playing tricks on me- Although I'm not even sure I have a brain anymore. I'm not even sure if I'm alive anymore.
…This can't be the afterlife, can it? No. No it can't be. I would be with James and Lily if it were. They would find me.
Unless they were in a similar predicament as I.
Oh, I hate this place. It plants seeds of doubt in your mind, leaving no room for hope and happiness. You have to constantly battle it to stay sane.
Just keep moving.
I don't know how long I've been in here. It feels like forever has past, but may have only been seconds.
Oh God, let me get out of here.
Please, just let me get back to Harry.
How can he possibly make it through life without a real guardian to look out for him?
I know it's naive to think that Harry would be helpless without me, and deep down, I know it's untrue, but I keep telling myself that anyways. I keep telling myself I have to get to Harry, for his sake at least. It helps fight the darkness.
I have to get to Harry.
I have to be there for him. I need to be there for him. When he gets his OWLs', his first car, his apparition license. I want to be there when he introduces the love of his life to his family. I want to be apart of his family. And I want him to be apart of mine.
I need to get out of here. It's driving me insane. All you can do is think and fight.
I missed 12 years of Harry's life because of Peter, one of my best friends, and now I'm losing another who knows how long to my cousin Bellatrix and a cursed curtain.
I think Snuffles is cursed.
I have to get to Harry.
Just… Keep… Moving.
"Welcome home Sirius, my child."
It was bright. Very bright. He couldn't see anything but white. Clinging to his face, shielding his eyes, he managed, "Where the hell am I?"
He couldn't remember what happened… He'd just been pushing along, as usual, and… and...
Blank.
What the bloody hell happened to me?
There was a chuckle somewhere behind him, very mocking. Sirius took a swing at it, hand in a fist. He hit only air.
Another giggle, "Feisty aren't we? Child, open your eyes. You'll find you can see quite perfectly now."
Bracing himself, he peeled his eyes open a crack. Standing a few feet in front of him, with a backdrop of white, was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She towered over him, standing well over 7 feet tall. Her face was young and unblemished, skin creamy and pale. Her piercing pale blue eyes burned into his. They were the palest, most piercing blue almost white. Long blond curls tumbled down her back and shoulders, past her knees.
She looked like an angel.
Suddenly he snapped out of his haze, having been temporarily memorized by the strange entity.
"Where am I? What's going on?" he demanded, glaring at the beautiful stranger.
She smiled, slyly, as if she had been waiting for him to start the interrogation.
He was confused, uncertain as to where he was and who he got there, but he oddly felt rather calm. Straightening his posture, he looked up at the entity, staring her in the eye, and refusing to relax his guard despite the welcoming attitude that was radiating off her, beckoning him to trust.
"You, Sirius my child, have just achieved what very few others have. You have done the seemingly impossible."
Sirius raised an eyebrow, looking around. He was in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar company, and had no idea why. He was in no mood for games.
A bright smile broke out of the woman's face, continuing, "And in only a year also! My goodness, dear boy, you are quite astounding."
Sirius was losing his patience. He spun in a circle, trying to get his bearing. It was white all around him. There appeared to be no ground under his feet, but he was sure he wasn't floating.
He felt strangely safe, despite his being in an unknown wasteland of white- But he wasn't as ignorant to let his watch down. This woman may seem trustworthy, but he didn't know that for sure.
Slightly panicking now, he said, "Tell me what the hell is going on, now."
She laughed. "Now that's more like it Padfoot. I've never known a Black who didn't demand his answers from a God."
A God? Oh, Damn it.
He turned to look at her, "What the bloody hell is going on? …Did I die?"
She chuckled, "No, no my dear." Then taking on a more serious tone, she continued, "You, Sirius Black, have just escaped from the Void in record timing. Only handfuls have ever escaped, and even those few took several centuries to do so. When you first fell in, I knew you would be one of the blessed few. Within a week, you had made more headway that some would in a 100 years. You moved with such determination, I was sure you would make it out."
Sirius stood in shock, "The Void- Wait… you mean I'm free?"
"Free again my child." She answered, smiling, "You are quite a limitless spirit Sirius. I have looked forward to meeting you for a long time."
He couldn't believe it. He was finally free. He had never felt so liberated in his life. The first real smile he had seen in a long time spread itself across his face. His knees turned to jelly as the limitless joy washed over him, truly sinking in.
I can see Harry again.
His eyes snapped up to the woman in white, "Can I see Harry?"
She turned up her face and laughed. It was a wonderful laugh, like a thousand kittens purring at once, with an encore of ocean waves beating against their sandy shores.
"I'll send you straight back to Harry and the others when we're finished Padfoot. He's fine. A little star stuck though, a lot has happed since you left them."
A little star struck? What does is that suppose to mean?
"Sirius, no mortal has ever escaped from the Void as fast as you. That is something very remarkable, and I feel extremely blessed to be able to meet you at last. I now feel it is my duty to reward you for your hard work. To bless you." She paused now, as if waiting to see his reaction.
He stared back at her confused.
"You can have one wish of me Sirius, within reason of course, in celebration of your return to the light."
Sirius shook his head, impatient now, "I don't care, just sent me back." He was tired of these games.
She laughed again, "Now wait a minute Sirius, this is the chance of a lifetime. What do you want? Anything you name, it's yours- Within reason that is. I cannot break my divine laws."
Sirius looked at his feet. This was the chance of a lifetime. He would have to wait just one more moment before seeing Harry.
"Can you kill Voldemort?"
She shook her head, "No, no, that is against my rules.
"Can you bring back Lily and James?"
Still shaking her head, "Again Sirius, that is against my code."
"What about-"
"Wait a moment Sirius. I don't think you understand my offer here… I can only give you a gift that will enhance the happiness in your life. I cannot kill anyone. I cannot prolong your, or anyone else's life, or prevent anyone from dieing. I cannot bring anyone back from the afterlife. I cannot promise that your family will make it through the war, nor can I guarantee that you will win. I cannot hand you tools to help you through these dark ages either. Think Sirius. If you lived in a time where there was no war, what would you want as an addition to your life, to make it more blissful? There must be something you desire."
He understood now. He would not be able to use this wish for an advantage in the war or in life. Only for his own happiness.
Without a doubt or second thought he knew what he wanted, "Well actually, there is something."
As the tiny blue car turned around the corner, Ginny let her waving arm drop to her side with a sigh.
This is going to a very long two weeks
"Good work everyone. That was executed perfectly. Well done." Moody said.
"Yes, yes. Come on everyone; let's go back to the burrow for some lunch." Arthur added.
Ginny slowly turned back the group, who were all packing up there things, and saying there momentary goodbyes.
Ginny braced herself. I have about 3 seconds of freedom left… 2… 1.
"Ginny dear!" Her mother rushed over, tugging at her clothes, adding in a whisper, "Fix your skirt, please! People will think you're a scarlet woman!"
Ginny rolled her eyes, unimpressed by her mothers well adapted eye for spotting skirts of an unacceptable length, "Yes mum."
Molly patted Ginny on the arm, "We're going to have so much fun these two weeks, just the two of us. We'll have some real time to catch up again. I hardly ever get to see you anymore."
Ginny stifled a groan, "Yes Mum, of course."
A very, very long two weeks.
As the Dursleys car pulled into the driveway of Number 4 Privet Drive, Ron gave a sigh of relief, and sunk a little lower into his seat. This had been one of the longest car rides of his life. It had been abnormally boring and tedious, mostly because no one had spoken a word to one another the entire trip. Him, Harry and Hermione couldn't talk about anything of interest with the Dursleys there, and the Dursleys couldn't really talk about anything with Him, Harry and Hermione there. So they just sat in silence.
Also he had to use the bathroom rather desperately.
The car pulled to a stop, and before Ron had even released his seat-belt, the Dursleys had jumped out of the car, sprinted up the driveway, and into the house, slamming the door behind them.
Hermione gave Harry a look and said, "Are they always like that?"
"No. Usually they lock the door behind them." He said, smiling in spite of himself, as he climbed out of the car.
"They lock you out?!" Horror struck, she followed him out of the car, clinging to Crookshanks.
"Yah, every time I go out the door. But it doesn't really matter; I stole Dudley's house key years ago... He loses them so often, Vernon didn't even ask him what happened to it, just gave him a new one and that was the end of it. And they've never asked me about how I get in and out of the house, but I think they suspect I use magic. They're quite thick, really."
Ron laughed at this, but Hermione stood beside Harry jaw hanging open in disbelief, "My god Harry. They sound like absolutely horrible people."
Harry shuffled his feet, "Honestly Hermione, its okay …They've done much worse." Harry said quietly, and popped open the boot of the car.
"Are you ready to go home now Sirius?"
"I've been ready for a long, long time."
A laugh, "Well then, step through the barrier. Good luck Sirius. I'll be waiting to welcome you to the afterlife when it is your real time."
Sirius nodded. The fact that he was going home was still surreal to him.
"Thank you."
Sighing, he closed his eyes, and stepped into the portal, finally returning home.
"So Ginny honey, tell me how your school year was."
Molly and Ginny were stationed in the kitchen; Molly bent over the stove, putting the finishing touches in her soup, Ginny at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich. The muffled sound of conversation leaked in from the living room, where everyone else was sitting and enjoying each others company.
"It was a good year I guess…" She replied, and then added quietly, "Excluding the end of it."
"Oh Ginny darling, I'm sure-"
DING DONG!
Ginny jumped at the sound of the doorbell, and got up to answer it.
"No, no, honey. I'll get it." Her mother hastily answered, her eyebrows scrunched together in thought. As she moved towards the doorway, she added quietly to herself, "I wonder who this could be… Everyone is already here."
DING DONG! Impatient would-be guests rang again.
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold onto your knickers." Molly reached the doorway, hand on the doorknob, then out of habit more than concern, "What's the password?"
Muffled through the doorway, "Password-?" a silence, Molly becoming increasingly confused, "Molly, I'm sorry, I have no idea what password you're talking about…"
Ginny looked towards the door, swallowed a mouth full of food and strained to hear the muffled voice, an eyebrow raised. The voice seeping in from outside sent shivers down her spine and caused recollection to tickle her brain. Molly quickly grasped her wand with her free hand.
"But I can tell you- Um.. Last year, we had, um, 21 doxies removed from the study and… 4 nests? No, 5 sorry. The twins stole that last one. Oooh, and we found that cursed music box that day also, the one only Ginny had the sense to close." The stranger chuckled, then sighed, as if relishing a memory.
The blood from Molly's face drained away, her eyes wide. The hairs on the back of Ginny's neck stood on end. Everyone who could have known this information was in the other room. How did this person know these things?
A thud against the door, as the doorstep guest leaned against it, the voice came in a whisper, "And that time I forgot the bucket of rats upstairs, and Buckbeak, that turkey, clawed it open and ate himself sick?" more laughter from outside, "And when Kreacher stole all of the silverware while we were sleeping, and we all voted Fred to crawl into his den and accio them out?"
Molly looked over at Ginny, her face full of fear, hands shaking. Ginny dropped her sandwich and grabbed her wand, jumping up from her chair. The voice she recognized outside finally clicked in her mind, matching itself with a face. Matching itself with a face which belonged to a man who was dead.
Molly swung open the door, her fist clenched on her wand, jaw hanging open, face starch white, and eye wide.
"Hello Molly. You look absolutely ravishing tonight, as always- Glad to see something's don't change! Now, Harry wouldn't happen to be here would he?"
Standing in front of her mother on the front steps was a man Ginny thought she would never again see. He was wearing the same clothes he had been a year ago on that frightful day, his black hair was tousled and messy, his smile mischievous and his dancing grey eyes were swimming wickedly.
Molly clutched her heart as tears began to run down her cheeks, her voice nearly a whisper, "Bless my soul! It can't be- Sirius Black? Is that you dear?"
Sirius' face broke into a great grin, "It most certainly is Ma'am."
Molly had a sharp intake of breath, as she visibly tried to steady herself. After a second, the information seemed to wash over her, setting in. Molly squealed and threw herself at the Marauder, trapping him in a hug. Through her happy tears, she screamed to her guests in the other room to come quickly.
Ginny stared in shock as family and friends poured into the kitchen, gasps, and squeals.
Is it really you Padfoot?
Where have you been!? Are you alright?
Sirius Black, what in world!
It was a blissful 30 seconds of happiness, a brief break in a long series of miserable occurrences, a reunion of longtime friends… Until.
"FREEZE! NO ONE MOVE!" Ginny saw out of the corner of her, a wand pointed over her shoulder at the ex-prisoner.
Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. The wand bearer thumped past her, his magical eye swerving, monitoring the frozen, stunned crowd, "Are you ALL insane? What have I always told you, hmm? You must have CONSTANT VIGILANCE! To invite this man, whom we all fully well know died one year ago, to invite him back into your home, is a DEATH SENTENCE!" His eyes both came to rest on the seemingly Marauder, his wand pointed at his chest, "This, my over trusting friends, is a death eater, and you all have just welcomed him into your home."
