Title: Live a True Lie
Author: Illusive
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed; if I did you wouldn't be reading this right now. Oh, and nor do I own the random lines from 'Lonely Nation' by Switchfoot that I'm using for my chapter titles.
Pairings: Athrun x Kira, Kira x OC, Athrun x Cagalli, a bit of Yzak x Dearka
Summary: When you have feelings you just can't explain, you try to find ways to hide them. For Athrun and Kira, it almost seemed easy when it came to pretending that they didn't love each other; yet that wasn't the case, there's no way you can hide true love by acting like you loved another.
Warning: AU. Shounen-Ai.
Author Notes: Ok, here's the second chapter… I'm hoping this is longer. Chances are it isn't going to be. TT I feel so… unworthy. Why can't I type up a long chapter! Well, on another note, this fanfic is turning out quite well actually, I'm actually not losing interest after the first chapter like I do with every other chapter fic I'm actually writing xD.
Flashbacks
Normal
"Speech"
2. Screaming without Lungs
Cagalli growled at no one as she stood there waiting for her fiancée to come pick her up. She had been away from Japan longer than Athrun and she had no intention of getting lost. She propped her bag against a chair and sat down. She rolled her eyes and thought, 'Leave it to Athrun to be late for the first time when we're in another country.' With a slight pout she leaned against the chair and crossed her legs, waiting with a semi-cross look on her face. Fortunately for Athrun, she could never get to angry at the young man and she knew that chances were it wasn't Athrun's fault that he was late.
In fact, she couldn't think of a time where she was extremely mad at Athrun. He was always so understanding and unlike most he understood her side of the argument as well as his. Therefore, arguments never happened most of the time. Cagalli thought guiltily of the many times that he just stood there while she rattled on and yelled about how annoyed she was because of some little thing. Then when she was done Athrun would look at her apologetically with a sad smile and in a mere few days he would fix whatever she didn't like.
Her pout transformed into a sad smile as she remembered the first time they had a huge dispute. He had like he usually did stand there with a sad look hidden behind apologetic eyes. She had, in all her anger, accused him of being apathetic and then threatened to leave him if he didn't say anything. Cagalli hadn't even registered the shocked and fear hidden before she had left without another word. Athrun had called her on her cell phone half an hour later but, when she picked up, hadn't said anything. She had been walking around for those thirty minutes and had calmed down after the fight. Cagalli saw how irrational she had been and returned her mind set to apologize.
Once she had gotten back to the small flat they had owned, she had found Athrun with unshed tears in his eyes and he was muttering about how much he was sorry for leaving someone named Kira. The whole story about his best friend had unraveled and she had been told by Athrun how much he had been scared that Kira would leave him. With all of this fear in him, Athrun had left Kira himself not wanting the risk of being left behind. It had been two years at the time, and Athrun had finally broke under the guilt and all Cagalli could do was whisper reassurance and try to understand why Athrun was so devastated when she had left.
Cagalli sighed and rubbed at her eyes as she continued to wait. She didn't like dwelling on bad memories but somehow she knew that, that little outpour from Athrun's heart would soon be very useful to understand her fiancée's life in Japan. She had requested that they had come back to their homeland for their wedding and Athrun had agreed immediately. After their studies they had made all sorts of plans… and now here they were, anxious and nervous, ready to take on one of life's hardest challenges.
Then it dawned on her how close her fiancée and his best friend had been. It was a bond like no other and if you thought about it on a different angle, they almost seemed like they had some kind of relationship that was more than just friendship. She laughed at this because god-forbid she giggled about the fact that her soon-to-be-husband was gay or something else. Cagalli had just stilled her laughter because she realized how weird it was for her to be laughing out of the blue when a familiar voice rang out from behind her, "Now what's so funny that you would burst out laughing in the middle of an airport?"
"Athrun!" She turned around and threw herself into the navy-haired man's arms. A short 'oomph' was heard from the taller one but he wrapped his arms around her, returning the embrace. They soon let go and she smiled when Athrun leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. Suddenly she couldn't wait to meet her old friends and family so they could get married. She was a bit nervous about meeting all of Athrun's loved ones but now that Athrun was by her side, she didn't feel so queasy anymore.
"Now, can you tell me what was so funny?" Athrun smiled down upon the one he loved and picked up her luggage. Cagalli just smirked but didn't answer as she hooked herself onto his arms and they chatted all the way home. It was like always, conversation came easy. They knew all of each other's quirks and were willing to work with it. It almost seemed like a match made in heaven but there were always a few problems like in every relationship but it didn't matter because they could work it out after they both cooled down.
oOo
Sometimes your mind lies but soon you'll see that your heart will always stay true.
oOo
Kira sighed as he turned over in his bed. He had slept in because of his fitful sleeping during the night and he really didn't want to face another day. Groaning as he sat up, Kira rubbed his bleary eyes and set off to make his morning pot of coffee. As he entered the kitchen he heard a familiar beep from his phone. Sighing, he pressed a button on the phone base before turning to focus on getting the needed substance to help him wake up. Kira resisted the urge to smack his head against his dining table a million times over when he started to hear the overly cheerful voice of Dearka.
"Kira! Guess who? Well I don't really think you need to guess 'cause if you had to then I would feel extremely offended. Anyways back to the point here, you have to meet us at the usual place at 12. We have a surprise for you. Oh, and bring that cute little girlfriend of yours. See ya later!"
A gentle laughter made his face lit up and he turned in time to see a pretty navy haired girl say, "I'm still 'that cute little girlfriend' I see." She spoke while using finger quotes at the appropriate times as well. Their lips met in a chaste kiss before she giggled once again and sat down at the table beside him. She took his coffee up and took a long gulp of it, "Thanks, I really needed that."
Kira pretended to be annoyed but the huge smile on his face counteracted it, "I really needed that too." He was rewarded with a brilliant smile which reminded him why he was in love again.
"So, I'm free at 12. What about you?" Ayoshi said almost teasingly since she had heard the whole voice message. She propped her elbow on the table and used it to support her head. Her hair cascaded down smoothly and Kira almost had an urge to tangle his hand in her hair. She still had a smile on her lips and for a second Kira thought about Athrun. Shaking his head slightly but not very noticeably he smiled back.
"Well I guess I'll have to escort my 'cute little girlfriend' to this little surprise, but knowing Dearka it's not going to be very good surprise." Kira laughed and was joined in by Ayoshi.
"True, very true." Ayoshi stood up and extended a hand to Kira, "So it's 11:40 and you're still in your pajamas when we're supposed to meet our friends in 20 minutes. That doesn't bode very well now does it?"
Kira took her hand and stood up beside her, "No, I guess it doesn't. I'll be right back." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left to go get changed. As he grabbed a shirt from his closet and changed into it as he thought about how wonderful Ayoshi was. She was smart, well educated, and had a good head on her shoulders. She was a rare beauty who was very dedicated to what she loved and even respected her parents' wishes though she was of age to make her own decisions. Her maturity helped to balance out Kira's own naivety and they got along very well.
oOo
It's funny how the mind can substitute something for something else similar when that something is lacking.
oOo
Ayoshi poured herself another cup of coffee carefully and inwardly scolded herself for drinking the caffeinated stuff. She took a long draught of the liquid and sighed contently; it wasn't her fault that Kira always had to buy expensive and good tasting brews. She finished up the cup and washed her cup in the sink, feeling almost as if she was at home. Kira's apartment was a second home to her, just that she didn't live in it. She had the keys and access to it anytime she wanted but she lived alone in her own little rented space.
Her parents had accepted Kira with open arms but they expressed their wishes that Ayoshi not live with him until they were married. Even though she told Kira that she understood that they were both not really to tie the knot, she actually looked forward to the day that her boyfriend would get down on one knee and propose. So far it hadn't happened yet. She loved Kira and was ready to settle down with him but he just wouldn't take the hints. He had great friends who she bonded with easily and was drawn into their group almost immediately.
All her friends approved of Kira and even joked with her that if she ever broke up with him that they would go after the brunet. Ayoshi thought she had a very well-established life. Of course it did help that Kira could make as much money as she could so she would never have to worry about finances if they ever did settle down together. Everyone around them was so supportive of their relationship and she was glad. She thought they were a good couple.
Ayoshi ran her hand through her navy locks. She thought she had a good grip on her relationship and she knew she analyzed situations well. All signs pointed to them getting married but Kira wasn't making it easy by not even talking about wishing to make things official with her. She loved what she had so she wasn't going to complain but it would be nice to be married to Kira. Her thoughts were interrupted by Kira coming back into the kitchen all dressed and ready to go.
"We have 10 minutes to get there. Are you going to drive or am I?" Kira knew that they both loved their cars and loved driving them so they always took turns whenever they went out. It was a weird quirk for both of them but it worked out nicely.
Ayoshi took Kira's hand and they walked to his front door, "Well considering that I drove last time, it's only fair that it's your turn this time." In a few minutes they were out the door and heading towards the certain surprise. Ayoshi turned on the radio to a channel she liked and settled down to listen to the music. Kira grimaced almost invisibly at the choice of song but didn't say anything. Ayoshi sensed this, however, and changed it to something they both liked. He smiled at her without a word and she smiled back. A match made it heaven if anyone was to say.
oOo
Nothing is perfect since there is always something that can be better, but you just have to see the chance and seize it.
oOo
"Kira, Ayoshi!" A voice yelled over the din of the small diner they had arrived at. It was Tolle calling them over with a huge smile on his face. It seemed all of Kira's friends were here already. Kira looked at Ayoshi with an amused look because he had no idea what the surprise was after all seeing all his friends together was no surprise. They made their way through, weaving through tables, hands still entwined.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Ayoshi spoke first taking her seat beside Yzak. Kira sat beside her as usual and they looked around at everyone with questioning eyes.
Their friends' smiles seemed to grow at the looks they were being giving but no one said anything except for Dearka, "A surprise, but that's coming in around 15 minutes. First…" Kira and Ayoshi nodded eagerly and waited for him to go on, "We eat. I'm hungry." They both face faulted and rolled their eyes afterwards.
"Sure, but you guys are paying." Ayoshi answered playfully, still wanting to know what the surprise was. Kira just shook his head like he felt sorry for himself but a huge smile was on his face. They ordered their food and chattered amongst themselves like friends would. Everyone was here which was not unusually but it was a rare chance since everyone had busy schedules and not all of them could synchronize their timetables. Kira looked upon Dearka, Yzak, Tolle, Mirielle, Nicol, Kuzzey, Flay, and Sai. These were the friends who helped him through his high school and university years.
Kira was sure everyone knew what the 'surprise' was except for himself and Ayoshi. He didn't really care though since he was hanging out with his closest friends. He fed a fry to Ayoshi and noticed how Flay was silently seething though her face held a smile, her eyes told a whole different story. He ignored her though; it had been like this ever since he had gotten together with his current girlfriend. Ayoshi noticed and mentioned it to him before but after he explained that he and Flay used to go out, they left it alone.
After 15 minutes, true to Dearka's word, the surprise came.
"Athrun Zala! You are never ever driving again! It's a miracle that we didn't get pulled over! I know you want to meet your old friends again but that was insane!" A scolding voice cut through all the voices in the diner, maybe only because the first two words were crucial but maybe just because the young lady who was doing the scolding was loud.
Kira dropped his fork with a clatter and Ayoshi looked at him worriedly. Everyone else wore smug smiles, though some also looked puzzled at the girl beside Athrun. The brunet sat frozen in place and a shadow fell across their table, "Kira." The voice spoke quietly though he didn't greet everyone else no one was offended. Dearka snickered and Yzak rolled his eyes while smacking his boyfriend over the head.
The young man who was spoken to practically leaped up to face the newcomer. Ayoshi stood up with him and waited to see what would happen. The childhood friends studied each other for a full 5 minutes before Miriella spoke up, "You guys want to hug each other I just know it." Athrun rewarded her with a slight smile but Kira gave no indication that he heard. Athrun's smile faded. Miriella's happy grin also faded when she noticed Kira's reaction.
"What the hell have you been doing the past years!" Kira's voice was controlled but one could tell he was hard-pressed to keep the volume down, "Damn, Athrun, all those years and not one word from you." Not many heard, but he also muttered a profanity under his breath. Ayoshi stifled a gasp since she had never heard Kira swear like that before.
"I…" Athrun trailed off; he had no answer for the brunet. He didn't look away but met Kira's gaze with a guilty one now.
"Why did you come back?" Kira asked simply and Ayoshi frowned at how cold he sounded.
"I came back with my fiancée so we could get married in our homeland." Athrun replied at the same time Kira noticed the ring on Cagalli's finger. Kira reeled back if only in his mind. Silence stood over the table and Yzak felt like smacking Dearka for arranging something like this.
Flay, however, felt it was time to make her own sharp input, "Great, Kira's lover boy is back" She let out a shrill laugh, "Ayoshi, you'll never have a chance at settling down with him now. You shouldn't known from the beginning when you told him that you weren't going to move in with him unless you two got married and he didn't say a thing about marriage."
"Flay, shut up." Kira said flatly; he was already in a low mood and Flay wasn't helping at all.
Ayoshi stepped in, eyes flashing, "Kira, let me handle this."
oOo
Déja vu is never really chance.
oOo
"But… we didn't… I," Kira was cut off when Athrun interrupted.
"Kira, let me handle this." His best friend stepped in front of Kira and started to speak in a low tone, "We didn't cheat, and it was coincidence that we had similar answers. We don't even sit beside each other, how could we have traded answers? We studied together last night so that could account for it, but you still have no basis for calling us cheaters." The teacher's eyes narrowed at the sudden attack and opened his mouth to say something, but the harsh look on Athrun's face made him think otherwise.
oOo
"You, Flay, have nothing to do with Kira and my private life. You will do well to stay out of it." She spat at the red-haired girl but the latter just replied with her lips twisted in a smirk.
"Hit a nerve there didn't I? You know what I say is true. When Kira and I were going out the only person that could separate us was that devil-spawn traitor over there." Flay ignored the heat of Ayoshi's glare and went on, "He never loved me and he hell doesn't love you. The only person he's got eyes for is the only one who left him. You might as well do yourself a favour and not hope that he'll propose to you since he didn't really want me and he isn't going to want you now that his precious best friend is back." Her tone mocked every time she mentioned Kira and Athrun.
"Flay!" Sai hissed at his girlfriend. He offered no apology because the best thing he could do at the moment was escort her out before anyone turned on her.
Flay didn't struggle against Sai's strong grip but she did leave one parting message, "If you were smart you'd listen to me. I know; I have experience. You're in for a whole world of hurt."
Kira held onto Ayoshi's hand as she went for a retort so she calmed down but no one spoke until Flay and Sai were both out the door. Miriella insulted the Allstar under her breath as Tolle looked at them anxiously. Dearka was spitting swear word after swear word as Yzak rubbed his forehead with his fingers as if to ease a headache. Kuzzey said nothing and sat there but they could see the troubled look in his eyes. Nicol was the one who spoke up, "Don't listen to her Ayoshi, she's just still sore about what happened a long time ago."
Ayoshi nodded but you could tell that she still took some of what Flay said to heart. They sat down with Athrun and Cagalli seated where Sai and Flay sat before. An awkward silence set over the table of friends and Cagalli didn't really like this first impression. Kira stood up suddenly and everybody looked at him, "Excuse me." He muttered and then left. Athrun wanted to get up and follow but he couldn't just leave Cagalli with a bunch of strangers to her.
Cagalli seemed to notice this so she nodded to Athrun and tilted her head in the direction Kira went to let her fiancée know that she would be fine. He smiled gratefully at her and kissed her before getting up and hurrying off. Athrun saw Kira hightail out of the diner through the back door and pursued. Yet when he placed his hand on the exit, he hesitated. He wasn't exactly in high favour in Kira's eyes at the moment, but maybe this could change the tide. However, it was known to him that somewhere along the line he was part of the reason why Flay had ruined the afternoon. It wasn't time to think about what could happen, but to at least try, bad results or not.
Kira leaned back against the concrete wall and tilted his head back. He was in a small alley behind the same establishment. He loved Ayoshi and would do anything for her, but those words did hit home. Why couldn't he gather the courage to ask her to marry him? Did he even want to marry her? Was it really the matter between having enough guts to ask or was it something else? Flay's words was like a wake-up call, a very rude one at it.
Everything seemed so together and now Athrun was back. It seemed whenever it concerned Athrun, his life took another dive. When he had first left to pursue a life somewhere other than Japan, Kira had been devastated at losing his best friend. Now his so called best friend had come back, and he wasn't devastated this time but more like confused. Either he could blame Athrun for rippling his life again, which had just settled down for once, or he could let everything slid and regain the best friend he lost years ago. He had no idea, which he wanted to choose.
The door opened to his right side and he peered at who came out, and at that moment he knew that the decision had been made for him already… He wanted his best friend back.
"Kira…" Athrun started before the author could say anything, "I… well, I guess first of all I should apologize. I shouldn't have cut off all ties and then come back abruptly, expecting you guys to welcome me with open arms, but coming back to Japan, the only people I know I can run to are you guys."
A silence settled in the air and Kira looked away from Athrun. He didn't know what to say. A part of him was still mad at the Zala heir, but another part of him was willing to forgive and forget. The struggle didn't last very long. He heard his own tentative voice say, "I missed you."
Suddenly all was right and they smiled like they did when they were children.
Author's Note: Okay! Just a few thanks to those who reviewed. You guys rule and thanks for the tips and stuff I hoped I fixed 'em here… if not… O.o You might want to remind me again.
Thanks to:
Faerie Princess of Doom, furin-a, Haruka Mizumi, lilplayer, dragonagility, Darkmoon Fleur, DrgnKiyo, Black Magician Girl3, Apchi and chantygal
