Sry it took so long. I was having such a hard time with this chapter. My opinion this chapter pretty much sucks but oh well. Hope u all enjoy!
Chapter 17:
Draco has been trying to spend a lot of time with me lately. I keep saying that I need to study because we have exams coming up, which we do! I really like the attention that I'm getting from him though. Before I used to say that I'm not the person who seeks attention but it feels good. I love the feeling of having someone who wants to be there with you almost all the time. We've made love so many times that I feel as if I'm drifting off into ecstasy. I've never been this happy before in my entire life.
After my mother died the monks came to me and told me that I would have to go through some difficult training. I would have to learn to not show emotion. The reason being was because even though my mother killed my father he still lived through me. If I showed emotions I would eventually feel anger or hate. Any feelings like those would release my darker side which was where my father resided. I showed no feeling for years but deep down I was miserable. My friends were a source of light but I still wandered back towards the darkness because of my misery. Now when Draco is with me, a lot more of me comes out. I'm able to feel so many emotions when I'm with him. I don't feel sadness or hate when I'm with him at all. I think at some points throughout my life here at Hogwarts I felt anger towards him and fear as well but I don't think it was true anger. I think it just wasn't as strong towards him. Now look at me. I realized that after all these years of his torment I was actually in love with him. I love someone who I thought was my enemy.
Still I feel like something isn't right. I love spending time with him but he keeps on saying that he's treasuring the moment. He sounds like he is going to be leaving. He talks like he is never going to see me again. What's up with him?
Draco's POV
Tonight is the night. I heard Dumbledore will be out tonight so I must act now. When I let the Deatheaters into the school Dumbledore will have to rush back but he seems to be extremely weak this year. It will be easier for me to kill him. I'm not looking forward to it but this is the only way Lydia and my mother can live.
Look at me. I'm disgusted with myself. I had goals. I was looking forward to becoming a true Deatheater. What was given to me was considered a great honor, and I was excited to have been given such an important task. Now look at me. I question myself about if this is what I really want. I question to whether if I am what I thought I was. I still have a dark side and I feel it come out every once in awhile. Right now I feel that if I had never fallen for Lydia then maybe I would still be my old self, but I can't blame her. Would I really want to go back to being something that was pretty much an ass to everyone else? Would I really want to live a life without Lydia? This was my choice and right now I'm choosing to save her with the only way I know is possible.
Lydia's POV
He came into my room while I was studying. He immediately came to me and kissed me. I was about to yell at him and say get out but when his lips silenced me before I could even speak I just decided to go with it. The way he kissed me seemed different from all the other times he kissed me before. It felt like he was yearning for this kiss. He put so much force into it that I felt overwhelmed.
He stopped the kiss and then looked at me with those stormy grey eyes of his. His eyes didn't seem right either. There was something in his eyes that was telling me that something wasn't right.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"No nothing is wrong."
Well of course he was going to say that. There was obviously something up that he didn't want to talk to me about.
"Hey, you still have the butterfly comb that I gave you for Christmas right?" asked Draco.
"Yeah, it's right over here," I said as I walked over to my dresser and picked it up. I felt guilty because I had never once worn it.
"Put it on," he said. "I want to see what I looks like."
My hair was short so all I could really do with the comb was use it to pull back a little bit of my hair on the side like a hair pin. It held my hair in place on the side of my head and I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I felt Draco come up behind me and his arms wrapped around me my waist.
"You look nice without your hair in your face," said Draco. "I can see your eyes better."
I took a look at both of us in the mirror. I took a look at the comb and I felt something coming from it, like an aura. I went to touch it and I could feel it even stronger.
"I had it specially made for you. Promise me you'll always keep it," he whispered into my ear. He began to hold me tighter and he buried his face into my neck to inhale my scent.
"Yeah, of course i'll always keep it," I said sounding a little hesitant.
After I said that he released me and walked to the door. He looked back once at me and smiled.
"Leaving so soon?" I asked.
"I have some things I need to do."
After saying that he left. I was left alone and I still had that feeling that something was up, but I didn't want to not trust him again. I didn't want him to think that I didn't believe in him. Still no matter how much I want to believe everything is alright, deep down I knew it wasn't.
I took another look into the mirror and all of a sudden I saw nothing but darkness. I don't know what happened but I looked down at my hand and saw my wand in it. It was pointing at something. I looked up and it was pointing at Draco. He was looking at me with regret. His stormy grey eyes were filled with sadness. He turned to another direction and began to run. I all of a sudden felt a jolt and my eyes opened and the darkness was gone. I suppose I was sleeping because it was now dark outside and i was laying down on my bed.
What just happened? Was it a vision? Why was I pointing my wand at Draco and why did he run away? I felt really scared right now and I was worried about that vision. Draco said that he had some things that he needed to do so I went to go take a walk around for a bit. When I was walking down the halls Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Luna came running up to me.
"Lydia! There you are!" said Hermione.
"We've been looking for you!" said Ginny. "Harry wanted us to give this to you!"
Ginny's hand reached out to mine and she gave me a small vile.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's the last of the Felix Felicis that Slughorn gave him at the beginning of the year," said Ron.
"He gave us all some of it and the rest is for you!" said Luna.
"Why, what's going on?" I asked.
"Harry has this feeling that something is going to happen tonight! He said he wanted us to be safe," said Hermione.
"Where is he?" I asked.
"He left a little while ago with Dumbledore," said Neville.
"What did he mean by something bad happening tonight?"
"We're not so sure ourselves but Harry seemed really worried," said Ginny. "Be sure to stay on your guard alright?"
"Yeah I will. Thanks you guys."
After what I said I ran off back to my common room. When I entered and ran straight up to Draco's bedroom. I opened up his door and he wasn't in there so I began to look around. I didn't want Draco to think that I didn't trust him but this was just too weird. He was hiding something from me and I wasn't going to deny it any longer. I looked on his dresser, and I went to look at his desk. Nothing. There was nothing. I looked everywhere and then when I looked under Draco's bed I found a small box. I opened it up and there was a bunch of letters inside.
I began to read them and I was shocked. They were from his mother saying that Draco had a mission! A mission to kill Dumbledore!
I dropped all the letters and fell to the ground. I started to cry. He was lying to me the whole time. He lied to me and I was foolish enough to believe him. Harry tried to warn me and I turned him away. I was a fool giving in to such foolish emotions. He probably never even loved me. He was probably just using me to get a good laugh out of it and probably to get information out of me.
I looked towards all the fallen papers on the floor and I began to think of all that has happened to me this year. I thought about all that has happened between me and Draco. I thought about the first time he kissed me and the first time we made love. I loved him and he betrayed me. I should have known something like this was going to happen, but my foolish feelings for him kept getting in the way. I turned away from what was there in front of me the whole time.
While I was still on the ground crying I felt a like something foul all of a sudden came into the school. I could feel darkness seeping into the school and it felt like it was never going to stop. I looked towards my hands and pushed myself up. Now was not the time to cry. I had to do something! Harry gave me some of the Felix Felicis potion for a reason so I should use it. I opened the small vile and drank it. After that I pulled my wand out and began to look for the Hermione and the rest of them. I needed to find them and tell them everything. I needed to help them, and if I run into Draco, may God have mercy on his soul, for I could feel the monster in me seeping through its prison.
God I was having a freakin hard time with this chapter! I had no idea what to type! Plz read and review! Only a few more chapters and its done peoplez!
