Disclaimer: Hola. Yeah, I don't own one hair on Jack's head. (sob) Why
cruel world, why?
Author's note: Thank you for the delicious reviews! I could just dip 'em in rum and eat 'em up! Well, where we left off, Jack proclaimed a war had started between him and June, Will and Ana were starting to unravel the mystery about each other, and Tortuga was growing closer by the minute. Alas, enjoy Chapter six!
PineAppleLint
* * *
Yes, a war had indeed started. Morning to night, day by day, the immature banter between the two pirates was driving everyone mad. Yet the pranks all started when June sashayed up to Jack one late morning with a corked bottle of amber rum, saying he looked extremely parched...
"Ye're actually bein' nice to me?" Jack asked, astonished. He placed a hand to her forehead in a mocking manner, "Are ye sick o' somethin'?"
She laughed politely. "Oh, Cap'n. Don't be stupid. Just thought ye needed a drink is all. Ye've been standin' at the helm all day and it's quite hot, I must say." The raging sun was beating down on them all without mercy. The air was calm, and there was only a slight, humid breeze coming in from the west. To make a point, she ran a finger along the side of his face and her finger was instantly coated with sweat. June made a face and wiped it on the end of his red striped sash.
"Oh, hand it over already," he demanded and tried to make a grab for it, but she held it away from him, teasing. It was never a good idea to get between Jack Sparrow and his rum, remember that, for it could mean almost certain death.
"No, 'thank ye, Oleander, ye're me hero'?" she questioned, pouting like a little girl.
"Thank you," he exclaimed impatiently, rolling his handsome brown eyes, and she grinned as he snatched the bottle from her slack fingers. He uncorked it with a satisfying 'pop' and held the bottle to his lips, not seeing her grin grow devilish as he took a strong pull.
His eyes bulged out of his head and he dropped the bottle, coughing and wiping his mouth as he ran to the side and began to try and spit it out. June was laughing uproariously, clutching her side and wiping her eyes, getting kohl all over her fingers.
After spitting and wiping his mouth, he turned to her, yelling, "What, are ye tryin' to POISON me now?! What was in it?"
She shrugged, saying non-chantilly, "Perhaps it was a bad batch?"
He narrowed his eyes, replying, "It was no bad batch, and ye damn well know it."
"Perhaps I tried to spice it up a bit...um, let's see...chili pepper? Nutmeg? Some other stuff I don't remember..." she thought with a finger to her chin, "I thought it would energize ye."
"It tasted like a donkey's ass."
"You have TASTED a donkey's ass?" she asked, crinkling her nose, "Where have YOU been?"
"It was an expression!" he shouted, "Full of sarcasm, somethin' ye are VERY familiar with!" He paused for a minute and picked up the half empty bottle on the ground, a half a cup of the tainted rum still sloshing on the bottom. The rest was dripping down the deck.
He stared at her and commented, "Ye need a taste o' yer own medicine."
"No thanks. I don't believe in medicine. I like natural healing, thank ye very much."
He grabbed her out of nowhere and she screeched as he put the bottle to her lips and tried to force her to drink some of her concoction. She struggled and clamped her mouth shut. Jack pressed her back to his chest and held her tightly around the waist with one arm and was holding the bottle with the other.
"Open up, luv," he demanded.
"Mmm mmmm!" she murmured with wide eyes, shaking her head. In the midst their struggle, some of the liquid sloshed on her face and went up her nose.
"Dammit! Ow, that stings!" she cursed and pushed herself away from him, holding her nose in pain. Now Jack was chuckling as he watched her snorting and trying to get the chili pepper alcohol out of her nostrils.
"Ye look quite attractive when ye do that," he stated lightly. She gave him one last icy glare before making her way down below, ignoring his laughter. Jack shook his head and coughed, the taste of that vile mixture still on his tongue. He most certainly had to get her back.
Jack tied a rope around the helm to keep her steady and went off to find Ana. He found her with Will, learning how to hold a sword correctly. Jack watched them both for a minute, grinning as he saw a blush grace Ana's cheeks when Will put his arms around her to correct her stance and tighten her hold on the weapon.
Jack let out a gruff 'ahem' and the two jumped, not knowing he had been silently observing their lesson in the empty galley.
"Ana, I have a question for ye."
She relaxed and asked, "What do ye need, Jack?"
"Some information about June. Do ye know what she's afraid of?"
Will snorted, his eyes twinkling as he responded, "I suppose the war has already begun?"
"She poisoned me rum with chili pepper, lad. It's payback time."
Ana laughed and said simply, "Horses."
Jack stared at her with confusion, "What was tha'?"
"She's afraid of horses, but there aren't any in the middle of the ocean so...hmm...let me think, it's been quite a while."
"Horses?" Jack scoffed, "what kind o' pansy would be afraid of a horse?"
"Lots of people are afraid of horses, Jack," Will pointed out as he cleaned the blade of his cutlass.
"I am not sure, Jack. I do not want to help this fight grow out of proportion," Ana said with a smile, "So you can find out what makes her squirm on your own."
Jack muttered a curse and walked back up the steps without another word. Ana turned to Will and said, "I know what June's afraid of, even if she won't admit it."
"Who?" Will questioned, intrigued.
"I think she's afraid of Jack."
"Why would she be afraid of him?" Will said with a laugh, "She's already had a wonderful time provoking him."
"Only time will tell, Will," she sighed. Ana got in her stance again and asked, "Is this right?"
"Loosen up a bit," he said and began to circle her with his blade at the ready.
"Don't have too much fun beating me," she said with a groan of frustration.
"I'll try not to."
* * *
June kept her guard up that day, knowing by those predatory glances Jack was giving her, he had something wicked on his mind. And she didn't want to stick around to see what it was. She finished mopping the poop deck and went downstairs for a biscuit or two since her stomach was already protesting her stupid decision to skip lunch. She hadn't been in the mood to put up with Jack's arguing at the galley table.
Of course, when she walked back to her mop and bucket, she felt like something was different. Taking another bite of biscuit, she thoughtfully chewed and stared down at her bucket. Crumbs fell out of her mouth as she gasped.
Her change of clothes! They were in the dirty bucket water! Wait, that didn't look like the same water... Holy hell, it couldn't be...that smell reminded her of Tortuga. Taking another whiff, she shouted, "Son of a bitch!" Someone had pissed in her bucket.
She scowled as she grabbed the bucket and tossed its contents overboard, watching as the nasty piss water, as well as her ruined clothes, fell into the crashing waves and disappeared. June stared down at herself. All she had left was what she was wearing. And they weren't in the best condition. There were holes everywhere, and the fabric was thinning. This was not good.
Feeling her anger rise, she stomped straight into Jack's cabin without knocking. He was sitting at his desk when he looked up in feigned surprise.
"Why, June, what's wrong, me luv? Havin' a bad day?" he asked with an all-knowing smile.
She pointed a finger in his face and touched his nose. "You, Captain Jack Sparrow, have sunk to an all time low. Don't think that is goin' to get me to stop messin' with ye."
"Whatever do ye mean?" he said, batting his lashes. She grabbed the hat off of his head and threw it down on the desk.
"Ye cocky bastard. Takin' a leak on me clothes? How drunk were ye when ye got that idea?"
"I was perfectly sober, thanks very much," he said with a dramatic bow.
She let out a snarl of frustration and stated, "Now what am I goin' to wear to Tortuga? Me clothes are practically in shreds!"
"Who says ye have to wear anythin' at all, me darling?" he said with a smirk, his gaze suggestively lingering over all the wrong places. He winked at her right before she grabbed the dagger from her belt and with one swing, speared his favorite hat and pinned it to the desk, the blade sinking into the wood with a loud 'thwap'. He gawked at her as she turned on her heel and said sweetly, "Oh, and besides, ye know that bottle o' rum? Let's just say that's not the only bottle that got messed with."
Jack howled in anger and despair, about to go after her and break her arms when Will walked through the door, blocking his way.
"Let me through," Jack hissed.
"Jack, there's a merchant ship on the horizon. Just wanted you to know that."
Excitement replaced the horror in Jack's eyes. "Merchant ship, eh? Maybe we should pay them a lil' visit?"
"What are you getting at, Jack?" Will frowned.
"Will, me boy," Jack said, putting an arm around Turner's broad shoulders, "There comes a time in every man's life when he has to learn about pillagin', plunderin', and the like. You know what? This is the opportune moment for a lesson in plunderin'!"
"No, Jack," Will scowled, "That would be a bad idea."
"Did someone say plunderin'?" June asked, sticking her head through the doorway. She had been obviously eavesdropping.
"Is it just me or is that gel like a mosquito?" Jack murmured in annoyance. Will was trying his hardest not to smile.
June huffed, replied, "I heard that", and walked off, whistling to herself.
"It will take not but an hour, lad," Jack commented, "We could use some extra supplies."
"They are innocent people, Jack."
"Well, pirates have to make a livin', eunuch. Live with it." With a flick of his wrist he turned rather awkwardly and swayed out of the room. "We'll be crossin' their path in a couple minutes. I want you all at the ready."
"We only have four people! Who knows how many people are on that ship, Sparrow? Sounds like a death warrant to me."
Jack paused, turned to him and grinned, saying, "Live a little, Will. Sometimes livin' life an inch from death is the most fulfilling way to do it. Take what ye can, give nothin' back, savvy?"
* * *
Ten minutes later, the ships were side by side, and turns out there were eight people on board the merchant vessel. Grapple hooks were thrown by June and Jack, then they made their way onto the other ship. Ana stayed behind, clearly shocked that she was witnessing such wrongdoings. Will followed meekly behind them, sword at the ready.
"Stay calm, everyone!" Jack shouted with a smile that would suggest them to do otherwise, "We are takin' over the ship for the moment!" Four merchants held up their hands in defeat, utter hatred glazing their eyes, and four had their hands on their weaponry. June cocked her pistol at them in warning. If they made a move, they died.
"Take what ye want and leave, ye disgustin' filth," one muttered, spitting at June's feet.
"Jack, can I hurt this one?" she asked eagerly.
"No, this is strictly a business call, luv," Jack ordered. He motioned Will to go down below to grab whatever supplies were needed. Ana cautiously came aboard and followed him to help with the thieving.
"What are you supposed to be, a pirate whore?" the same one asked to June. She stared at him, frowning.
"Jack, this one here's askin' for pain!" she called.
"No, June!" he called back in exasperation. Jack shouted to the men, "Ye keep yer mouths shut or I'll send this ship down to Davy Jones'. Or kill ye, whichever sounds more satisfying."
Will and Ana began carrying sacks of goods over to the Pearl. June began singing a sea shanty a loud and cried, "C'mon, surely ye must have heard this one. Everyone join in with the chorus!"
No one sang except for her. "Ye gents need a good lay," she said, peering at their dirty, disbelieving faces. "Especially you," she added, pointing to the man who had called her a pirate whore and filth.
"Are ye offerin'?" he questioned, "Because I'd rather cut my balls off."
"If ye want, I'll do that for you," she replied venomously, eyeing his pants to get the threat across. He gulped and shut his trap. Suddenly, the man standing right next to him, a youthful lad with dirty blonde hair, grabbed a long jagged knife from his belt and swung it at her.
She yelped as her arm was cut from her wrist to her elbow, her crimson blood beginning to flow.
"Wanker!" she growled, "I'll blow yer brains out." He took a step back when she raised her pistol. Suddenly, she felt cold metal at HER temple. A whitehaired, rough-edged merchant was holding her at gunpoint.
"Put the pistol down," he commanded.
"You put yours down, old man," she said slowly.
"BOTH of you, stop it," Jack sighed, holding HIS pistol to the old man's head. It was like a chain of death. June let her arm drop and the old man slowly did the same.
"Now play nice," Jack murmured in June's ear, "Even if I like seein' the look on yer face when ye get yer life threatened."
"You're a sick man," she murmured back with a lopsided grin.
"Being sick is me specialty," he informed her, still keeping an eye on the fidgety merchants, expecting at any time for one of them to make a wrong move.
"How's yer arm?" he added.
"I'll live. Later ye can kiss it and make it feel better," she said in a seductive tone.
"Oh please," one of the merchants muttered.
"In yer wildest fantasies, luv," Jack said. Will walked up to them with three more sacks slung over his shoulder, "I think we're done, Captain."
"Well," Jack said gleefully, "Mates, it's been a pleasure. You'll always remember this as the day you came across the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow." He would have tipped his hat for a certain dramatic flourish, but unfortunately June had shish-kabobed it. God rest its little hat soul.
The grapple hooks were taken down, the plank they used to walk across discarded, and the anchor was pulled up. The merchants were left cursing and scratching their heads in wonder. Jack Sparrow? Their wives would most certainly want to hear this story when they got home.
"Did ye have to do that whole egotistical act thing?" June snorted, "It made me gag."
"Whatever are ye talkin' about?" he questioned, arching his eyebrows.
"Remember this as the day you came across the infamous, handsome, thieving scoundrel, lovely, well-dressed Captain Jack Sparrow!" she mocked, swaying a bit to emphasize his moves and made her voice high pitched to get on his nerves.
"Just statin' a true fact," he shrugged. He walked casually over to about twenty brown sacks and added, "Look at all this loot! I wonder what we acquired on our lil' visit?"
Jack pulled on one of the strings and the sack opened, turned over, and the contents spilled out and rolled across the deck.
Coconuts.
One look at the expression on Jack's face and June could not help but shake with laughter.
"Good goin', Captain," she exclaimed, "Yer the King of Coconuts!" Jack, who was expecting some kind of treasure or valuable spice, flushed. They had plundered coconuts. Those merchants must have thought he was a complete idiot. This was certainly a first in his book. Pillaging island fruit.
"Will!" he shouted, "Get yer arse over here!"
"What, Jack?" he asked, looking down at the scattered brown coconuts, being careful not to slip on them.
"Why the hell did ye take COCONUTS?" Jack said, shaking his head, causing his trinkets to reflect the sunlight in his movements.
"That was the only thing below deck, Jack!" he said in a defensive manner.
Ana smiled and said, "Coconuts aren't that bad. I bet we could sell a few. After all, we have plenty for all of Tortuga."
"Coconuts," Jack mumbled, "What next?"
"Well," June commented with a grin, "I guess we're eatin' good tonight!"
* * *
Author's note: Thank you for the delicious reviews! I could just dip 'em in rum and eat 'em up! Well, where we left off, Jack proclaimed a war had started between him and June, Will and Ana were starting to unravel the mystery about each other, and Tortuga was growing closer by the minute. Alas, enjoy Chapter six!
PineAppleLint
* * *
Yes, a war had indeed started. Morning to night, day by day, the immature banter between the two pirates was driving everyone mad. Yet the pranks all started when June sashayed up to Jack one late morning with a corked bottle of amber rum, saying he looked extremely parched...
"Ye're actually bein' nice to me?" Jack asked, astonished. He placed a hand to her forehead in a mocking manner, "Are ye sick o' somethin'?"
She laughed politely. "Oh, Cap'n. Don't be stupid. Just thought ye needed a drink is all. Ye've been standin' at the helm all day and it's quite hot, I must say." The raging sun was beating down on them all without mercy. The air was calm, and there was only a slight, humid breeze coming in from the west. To make a point, she ran a finger along the side of his face and her finger was instantly coated with sweat. June made a face and wiped it on the end of his red striped sash.
"Oh, hand it over already," he demanded and tried to make a grab for it, but she held it away from him, teasing. It was never a good idea to get between Jack Sparrow and his rum, remember that, for it could mean almost certain death.
"No, 'thank ye, Oleander, ye're me hero'?" she questioned, pouting like a little girl.
"Thank you," he exclaimed impatiently, rolling his handsome brown eyes, and she grinned as he snatched the bottle from her slack fingers. He uncorked it with a satisfying 'pop' and held the bottle to his lips, not seeing her grin grow devilish as he took a strong pull.
His eyes bulged out of his head and he dropped the bottle, coughing and wiping his mouth as he ran to the side and began to try and spit it out. June was laughing uproariously, clutching her side and wiping her eyes, getting kohl all over her fingers.
After spitting and wiping his mouth, he turned to her, yelling, "What, are ye tryin' to POISON me now?! What was in it?"
She shrugged, saying non-chantilly, "Perhaps it was a bad batch?"
He narrowed his eyes, replying, "It was no bad batch, and ye damn well know it."
"Perhaps I tried to spice it up a bit...um, let's see...chili pepper? Nutmeg? Some other stuff I don't remember..." she thought with a finger to her chin, "I thought it would energize ye."
"It tasted like a donkey's ass."
"You have TASTED a donkey's ass?" she asked, crinkling her nose, "Where have YOU been?"
"It was an expression!" he shouted, "Full of sarcasm, somethin' ye are VERY familiar with!" He paused for a minute and picked up the half empty bottle on the ground, a half a cup of the tainted rum still sloshing on the bottom. The rest was dripping down the deck.
He stared at her and commented, "Ye need a taste o' yer own medicine."
"No thanks. I don't believe in medicine. I like natural healing, thank ye very much."
He grabbed her out of nowhere and she screeched as he put the bottle to her lips and tried to force her to drink some of her concoction. She struggled and clamped her mouth shut. Jack pressed her back to his chest and held her tightly around the waist with one arm and was holding the bottle with the other.
"Open up, luv," he demanded.
"Mmm mmmm!" she murmured with wide eyes, shaking her head. In the midst their struggle, some of the liquid sloshed on her face and went up her nose.
"Dammit! Ow, that stings!" she cursed and pushed herself away from him, holding her nose in pain. Now Jack was chuckling as he watched her snorting and trying to get the chili pepper alcohol out of her nostrils.
"Ye look quite attractive when ye do that," he stated lightly. She gave him one last icy glare before making her way down below, ignoring his laughter. Jack shook his head and coughed, the taste of that vile mixture still on his tongue. He most certainly had to get her back.
Jack tied a rope around the helm to keep her steady and went off to find Ana. He found her with Will, learning how to hold a sword correctly. Jack watched them both for a minute, grinning as he saw a blush grace Ana's cheeks when Will put his arms around her to correct her stance and tighten her hold on the weapon.
Jack let out a gruff 'ahem' and the two jumped, not knowing he had been silently observing their lesson in the empty galley.
"Ana, I have a question for ye."
She relaxed and asked, "What do ye need, Jack?"
"Some information about June. Do ye know what she's afraid of?"
Will snorted, his eyes twinkling as he responded, "I suppose the war has already begun?"
"She poisoned me rum with chili pepper, lad. It's payback time."
Ana laughed and said simply, "Horses."
Jack stared at her with confusion, "What was tha'?"
"She's afraid of horses, but there aren't any in the middle of the ocean so...hmm...let me think, it's been quite a while."
"Horses?" Jack scoffed, "what kind o' pansy would be afraid of a horse?"
"Lots of people are afraid of horses, Jack," Will pointed out as he cleaned the blade of his cutlass.
"I am not sure, Jack. I do not want to help this fight grow out of proportion," Ana said with a smile, "So you can find out what makes her squirm on your own."
Jack muttered a curse and walked back up the steps without another word. Ana turned to Will and said, "I know what June's afraid of, even if she won't admit it."
"Who?" Will questioned, intrigued.
"I think she's afraid of Jack."
"Why would she be afraid of him?" Will said with a laugh, "She's already had a wonderful time provoking him."
"Only time will tell, Will," she sighed. Ana got in her stance again and asked, "Is this right?"
"Loosen up a bit," he said and began to circle her with his blade at the ready.
"Don't have too much fun beating me," she said with a groan of frustration.
"I'll try not to."
* * *
June kept her guard up that day, knowing by those predatory glances Jack was giving her, he had something wicked on his mind. And she didn't want to stick around to see what it was. She finished mopping the poop deck and went downstairs for a biscuit or two since her stomach was already protesting her stupid decision to skip lunch. She hadn't been in the mood to put up with Jack's arguing at the galley table.
Of course, when she walked back to her mop and bucket, she felt like something was different. Taking another bite of biscuit, she thoughtfully chewed and stared down at her bucket. Crumbs fell out of her mouth as she gasped.
Her change of clothes! They were in the dirty bucket water! Wait, that didn't look like the same water... Holy hell, it couldn't be...that smell reminded her of Tortuga. Taking another whiff, she shouted, "Son of a bitch!" Someone had pissed in her bucket.
She scowled as she grabbed the bucket and tossed its contents overboard, watching as the nasty piss water, as well as her ruined clothes, fell into the crashing waves and disappeared. June stared down at herself. All she had left was what she was wearing. And they weren't in the best condition. There were holes everywhere, and the fabric was thinning. This was not good.
Feeling her anger rise, she stomped straight into Jack's cabin without knocking. He was sitting at his desk when he looked up in feigned surprise.
"Why, June, what's wrong, me luv? Havin' a bad day?" he asked with an all-knowing smile.
She pointed a finger in his face and touched his nose. "You, Captain Jack Sparrow, have sunk to an all time low. Don't think that is goin' to get me to stop messin' with ye."
"Whatever do ye mean?" he said, batting his lashes. She grabbed the hat off of his head and threw it down on the desk.
"Ye cocky bastard. Takin' a leak on me clothes? How drunk were ye when ye got that idea?"
"I was perfectly sober, thanks very much," he said with a dramatic bow.
She let out a snarl of frustration and stated, "Now what am I goin' to wear to Tortuga? Me clothes are practically in shreds!"
"Who says ye have to wear anythin' at all, me darling?" he said with a smirk, his gaze suggestively lingering over all the wrong places. He winked at her right before she grabbed the dagger from her belt and with one swing, speared his favorite hat and pinned it to the desk, the blade sinking into the wood with a loud 'thwap'. He gawked at her as she turned on her heel and said sweetly, "Oh, and besides, ye know that bottle o' rum? Let's just say that's not the only bottle that got messed with."
Jack howled in anger and despair, about to go after her and break her arms when Will walked through the door, blocking his way.
"Let me through," Jack hissed.
"Jack, there's a merchant ship on the horizon. Just wanted you to know that."
Excitement replaced the horror in Jack's eyes. "Merchant ship, eh? Maybe we should pay them a lil' visit?"
"What are you getting at, Jack?" Will frowned.
"Will, me boy," Jack said, putting an arm around Turner's broad shoulders, "There comes a time in every man's life when he has to learn about pillagin', plunderin', and the like. You know what? This is the opportune moment for a lesson in plunderin'!"
"No, Jack," Will scowled, "That would be a bad idea."
"Did someone say plunderin'?" June asked, sticking her head through the doorway. She had been obviously eavesdropping.
"Is it just me or is that gel like a mosquito?" Jack murmured in annoyance. Will was trying his hardest not to smile.
June huffed, replied, "I heard that", and walked off, whistling to herself.
"It will take not but an hour, lad," Jack commented, "We could use some extra supplies."
"They are innocent people, Jack."
"Well, pirates have to make a livin', eunuch. Live with it." With a flick of his wrist he turned rather awkwardly and swayed out of the room. "We'll be crossin' their path in a couple minutes. I want you all at the ready."
"We only have four people! Who knows how many people are on that ship, Sparrow? Sounds like a death warrant to me."
Jack paused, turned to him and grinned, saying, "Live a little, Will. Sometimes livin' life an inch from death is the most fulfilling way to do it. Take what ye can, give nothin' back, savvy?"
* * *
Ten minutes later, the ships were side by side, and turns out there were eight people on board the merchant vessel. Grapple hooks were thrown by June and Jack, then they made their way onto the other ship. Ana stayed behind, clearly shocked that she was witnessing such wrongdoings. Will followed meekly behind them, sword at the ready.
"Stay calm, everyone!" Jack shouted with a smile that would suggest them to do otherwise, "We are takin' over the ship for the moment!" Four merchants held up their hands in defeat, utter hatred glazing their eyes, and four had their hands on their weaponry. June cocked her pistol at them in warning. If they made a move, they died.
"Take what ye want and leave, ye disgustin' filth," one muttered, spitting at June's feet.
"Jack, can I hurt this one?" she asked eagerly.
"No, this is strictly a business call, luv," Jack ordered. He motioned Will to go down below to grab whatever supplies were needed. Ana cautiously came aboard and followed him to help with the thieving.
"What are you supposed to be, a pirate whore?" the same one asked to June. She stared at him, frowning.
"Jack, this one here's askin' for pain!" she called.
"No, June!" he called back in exasperation. Jack shouted to the men, "Ye keep yer mouths shut or I'll send this ship down to Davy Jones'. Or kill ye, whichever sounds more satisfying."
Will and Ana began carrying sacks of goods over to the Pearl. June began singing a sea shanty a loud and cried, "C'mon, surely ye must have heard this one. Everyone join in with the chorus!"
No one sang except for her. "Ye gents need a good lay," she said, peering at their dirty, disbelieving faces. "Especially you," she added, pointing to the man who had called her a pirate whore and filth.
"Are ye offerin'?" he questioned, "Because I'd rather cut my balls off."
"If ye want, I'll do that for you," she replied venomously, eyeing his pants to get the threat across. He gulped and shut his trap. Suddenly, the man standing right next to him, a youthful lad with dirty blonde hair, grabbed a long jagged knife from his belt and swung it at her.
She yelped as her arm was cut from her wrist to her elbow, her crimson blood beginning to flow.
"Wanker!" she growled, "I'll blow yer brains out." He took a step back when she raised her pistol. Suddenly, she felt cold metal at HER temple. A whitehaired, rough-edged merchant was holding her at gunpoint.
"Put the pistol down," he commanded.
"You put yours down, old man," she said slowly.
"BOTH of you, stop it," Jack sighed, holding HIS pistol to the old man's head. It was like a chain of death. June let her arm drop and the old man slowly did the same.
"Now play nice," Jack murmured in June's ear, "Even if I like seein' the look on yer face when ye get yer life threatened."
"You're a sick man," she murmured back with a lopsided grin.
"Being sick is me specialty," he informed her, still keeping an eye on the fidgety merchants, expecting at any time for one of them to make a wrong move.
"How's yer arm?" he added.
"I'll live. Later ye can kiss it and make it feel better," she said in a seductive tone.
"Oh please," one of the merchants muttered.
"In yer wildest fantasies, luv," Jack said. Will walked up to them with three more sacks slung over his shoulder, "I think we're done, Captain."
"Well," Jack said gleefully, "Mates, it's been a pleasure. You'll always remember this as the day you came across the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow." He would have tipped his hat for a certain dramatic flourish, but unfortunately June had shish-kabobed it. God rest its little hat soul.
The grapple hooks were taken down, the plank they used to walk across discarded, and the anchor was pulled up. The merchants were left cursing and scratching their heads in wonder. Jack Sparrow? Their wives would most certainly want to hear this story when they got home.
"Did ye have to do that whole egotistical act thing?" June snorted, "It made me gag."
"Whatever are ye talkin' about?" he questioned, arching his eyebrows.
"Remember this as the day you came across the infamous, handsome, thieving scoundrel, lovely, well-dressed Captain Jack Sparrow!" she mocked, swaying a bit to emphasize his moves and made her voice high pitched to get on his nerves.
"Just statin' a true fact," he shrugged. He walked casually over to about twenty brown sacks and added, "Look at all this loot! I wonder what we acquired on our lil' visit?"
Jack pulled on one of the strings and the sack opened, turned over, and the contents spilled out and rolled across the deck.
Coconuts.
One look at the expression on Jack's face and June could not help but shake with laughter.
"Good goin', Captain," she exclaimed, "Yer the King of Coconuts!" Jack, who was expecting some kind of treasure or valuable spice, flushed. They had plundered coconuts. Those merchants must have thought he was a complete idiot. This was certainly a first in his book. Pillaging island fruit.
"Will!" he shouted, "Get yer arse over here!"
"What, Jack?" he asked, looking down at the scattered brown coconuts, being careful not to slip on them.
"Why the hell did ye take COCONUTS?" Jack said, shaking his head, causing his trinkets to reflect the sunlight in his movements.
"That was the only thing below deck, Jack!" he said in a defensive manner.
Ana smiled and said, "Coconuts aren't that bad. I bet we could sell a few. After all, we have plenty for all of Tortuga."
"Coconuts," Jack mumbled, "What next?"
"Well," June commented with a grin, "I guess we're eatin' good tonight!"
* * *
