One. Painful Memories It had been twenty five years since my heart had been broken in a million little pieces. Twenty Five long years. The reason my heart was shattered, was due to the only person I had ever really loved, and ever would. Edward Cullen.

It had been a very cloudy day, rain pouring buckets on top of little Forks. I had been sitting in my tiny bedroom on my old twin bed, listening to my favorite CD. The one that reminded me very much of Edward. I found nothing wrong with the day, it was usual for Forks. Of course I also hadn't anticipated all the things I would trip over either, but my clumsiness always prevailed. I was used to it by now. I was eighteen, and I knew myself pretty well.

The wondows had flown open, causing such a shock wave through me, I ended up on the floor, my CD player on the opposite part of the room.

"Bella? A voice called. The terror that had been within released, it was only Edward. "Bella?" He sounded frantic, as f he couldn't sense me laying on the ground only a few feet away.

"Yeah," I replied his call, groaning as I sat up rubbing the back of my head.

"What are you doing on the floor," He had asked, sprinting to my side.

"You scared me so...I fell off."

He chuckled softly, helping me back onto the bed, sitting down next to me. His golden eyes boring into mine. I felt paralyzed, I couldn't breathe or even move when I was around him. My heart pulsated through my veins.

"Ravenous vampires don't scare you, of course, but a window slamming open, yes that causes all the fear in the world." He was mocking me and for some reason I loved every moment of it.

"You'd b-be correct on that," I stammered lamely. He smiled, my favorite heartbreaking, crooked smile. Literally my heart did a flip flop in my chest. He eyed me warily.

"I think your pulse has had enough for one night."

"No. Don't leave," I begged. I couldn't even begin to explain how much his leaving would affect me. It would be like stabbing a white hot knife right through my beating heart. He seemed to sense this, and pulled me closer to his stone cold body. I rested my head on his chest, listening intently to his even breathing and nothing else. My favorite sound.

"I won't...ever," he promised. "Unless..." He trailed off, suggesting exactly what terrified me. My back went rigid, I refused to talk about us parting. Ever.

Hoping to end this conversation quickly, I finished his sentence for him. "Unless it's to protect me." I couldn't see him but I knew he was nodding.

"I'll do anything to keep you out of harms way," he whispered, sliding his cold lips over my hair. I trembled in response.

"Well it is a full time job, keeping me out of trouble's way," I joked, trying to lighten up the moment. "You ready for it?"

"Always."

We were silent for the longest time. Him listening to my erratic pulse, and me listnening to the most beautiful sound in the entire world. Eventually my pulse slowed, and our breathing became in sync. It was the picture perfect moment, and then it fell apart.

Charlie slammed the front door down stairs, very loudly. His simple action caused a chain of events that I was barely aware of. The sound of the slamming door, just like the window, startled me out of my comfortable reverie. I flew backwards, out of Edwards protective grasp, and fell off my bed again. This time I wasn't as lucky. I hit the glass vase, holding the red rose Edward had given me three nights previous. The glass shattered, sending shards of broken glass into my back and arm.

I yelped in pain. I felt one piece of glass in partuculkar digging into my skin, causing red droplets of blood to ooze down my pale back. Edward stiffened at the scent of my floral smelling blood. He had stopped breathing, and was frozen on my bed. Very slowly, he turned his head in my direction. His beautiful topaz eyes were flat black.

My breathe caught in my throat, as I lay motionless on the floor. I could sense his hunger for the freely flowing blood from there. He curled his lip, barring his teeth ,growling menacingly. Oh no, was he really going to kill me.

A very odd inner clam filled me. It was a warped, pathetic, very twisted opinion, but it was the only thing that kept me hanging on. If I was going to die, not that I really wanted to, but if I was going to die, atleast I wouuld be statiating his thirst. It was crazy, but I felt the slightest better for it. In the hundred years he had been a vampire, he had felt the pains of the thirst eating away at him. And now he would be satisfied, for a little while any ways. Even if it did end in my demise.

I loved him with all my heart.

And then he began to advance, standing up from the bed and lowering himself till he was inches from my bloody arm. I choked on my breathe, trying to speak, to tell him how much I loved him. I was paralyzed, my mouth unable to form coherent words.

He picked up my arm gently, and drew it to his lips, ready to suck me dry. "No, Edward don't, you'll hate yourself for it if you do," I managed to choke out. He hesitated, looking up at me. "Please Edward don't do this. I love you, don't do this. Remember..."The loss of blood in my back was making me feel dizzy. "Remember how you'd always be with me forever...at the...prom. How my love would be enough... enough for... for forever." He had stopped, dropping my arm instantly, his eyes still the coal black color. But now they held a new emotion. Humanity. In a flash, he was standing with his back pressed against the window, his face ashen, nostrils flared. His face was now thick with aguish, anger, and extreme sorrow. He was suffering just being in the same room as I. "Edward," I whispered, my head spinning.

"I can't," he whispered, his voice bleak. "I won't let myself hurt you."

And then he was gone. There wasn't any evidence that he'd even been there, except for the open window, and my fluttering curtains. It had stopped raining now.

With all my strength, I picked myself up off the floor, running to the open window. My head spun, when I did so, but I kept myself pushing on. I stared, wide-eyed out the window. It showed the usual view, and Edward wasn't in it.

My body was instantly racked with sobs. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, I Let a small moan escape from my lips. I wanted to jump into the grand canyon, had Edward really left me? For good?

I felt the semi- dried blood on my back and arms. There wasn't any glass imbedded in my skin, and the bleeding had stopped. I had lost a lot of blood though.

I dragged myself towards the bathroom, still sobbing openly. Charlie didn't seem to hear me, which made things easier to figure out. I started the shower, and stepped into it. Clothes and all. I was so delerious, in so much pain, I couldn't even think straight. The blood flowed down the drain, cleaning my back and t-shirt. At the sight of it, I felt sick.

I hated blood at that moment. It was the cause of so much pain and agony. Blood. One little word, had changed so much.

My hate was replaced by an empty hole that gaped in my heart, which was worse than the hate. It was an agony, nothing could fill the empty space Edward had just left. I didn't care where my life would ever take me. I was already dead on the inside.

Some how I manage to get myself out of the piping hot shower, and tak e off my wet clothes, and into a comfortable towel. But to me, the towel was like burlap, pressing hard against my skin. I made my way, not feeling anything but the empty space in my heart, back to my room, where I put on fresh pajamas, and crawled into my bed.

I lay beneath the covers, eyes-wide, my body in shock, for the whole entire afternoon, and then the night. I was beyond tears, for that moment. I couldn't think of anything but Edward. His face. His voice. My lullaby. And then, when the sun was rising behind the gray clouds of Forks, did I break down crying.

I sobbed so loud, that I couldn't even hear Charlie come up and knock on my door.

"Bells? Honey? Are you all right?" I didn't know how, but I managed to croak out a sentence, before submitting myself to the ocean of tears that had soaked up on my pillow. I wanted to drown myself in them.

"I-I'm f-f-fine dad."

"I'm going fishing in a few hours honey, do you want me to stay home?" The concern in his voice was overwhelming, I wanted nothing but to leave him alone. Not to burden him with my endless heart ache. I wanted to leave him. I wanted to to leave this too small room. I wanted to leave Forks!

"No, dad, go I'll be fine. I j-just s-stepped on a piece of g-glass."

He left an hour later, without telling me good-bye. I was thankful he hadn't just barged into my room, and seen what a mess I really was. Because I really was a mess. An emotional, chaotic mess.

I fell asleep fifteen minutes after Charlie had gone fishing, and woke five hours later. My stomach grumbled, and I sat up in my bed. My vision was blurred, because of my tears. My eyes red and swollen shut. I left my room, or my hole as it was known now, to find something to eat in the kitchen.

Charlie had left a note, saying he had gone on a four day fishing trip at his usual spot. He'd even aqquired a cell phone, in case I needed him. That was not a very Charlie thing to do.

For a very short moment, I considered calling Charlie and asking mhim if he'd come home to hold my hand as I cried over Edward. I dismissed this train of thought immediatly. There was no way I would ever get into a in depth conversation with Charlie.

I found a stale box of cereal in the cupboard. I poured myself a bowl and then sat down to dine. I didn't taste it much. It tasted like cardboard. I threw it away after the third spoonful, dumping my bowl into the sink, not washing it. I would do it in the morning. Now I had to find out the truth.

I grabbed my keys from the counter top, and lifelessly walked out the door. I looked up just in case the silver volvo was waiting for me in the driveway. It wasn't.

My heart fell.

Slowly, I got into my truck and revved the engine. It roared to life, and I as off down the road. I stared straight out the front window, pushing all thoughts of what I was going to do out of my brain. I had to find out if I was imaging all of my pain.

The Cullen's perfect house, loomed closer as I turned onto the perfect lawn. I parked a few feet away from the porch, not a wise decision, but I did it any way. I got out of my big, red truck, and went up to the front door. I knocked, no one asnwered. I knocked again, this time a little louder. Eventually my knocking became a loud pounding on their front door. With enough of my banging, the door creaked open. It wasn't even locked, I felt like a complete idiot.

Cautiously, I peeked inside. Everything was gone. I pushed the door farther open, and stood frozen in the Cullen's door frame. Everything was gone. The whole first floor was absolutely empty, everything, the piano, the comfortable looking chair. It was all gone.

I sprinted up the stairs, sobbing harshly. Everything, Carlisle's office was empty, Alice and Jasper's room. I tried every single room. Nothing was in them,they were gone.

I had one room left to check. I took baby steps as I appraoched his door. I half expected to find him in their, with the crooked smile on his face, saying surprise. And when he saw my worried face and my tears, he would hold me in his arms. But no, it wasn't like that. I pushed open the door, it was empty too.

I traced every inch of Edward's room, my tears gone now. The empty space in my body had grown to the size of my whole heart. I felt numb. The grief hitting me like tidal wave. I sank to the floor of his room, where the golden carpet had once been. The tears were back, but they fell silently this time.

Involuntarily, my hands traced the pattern of the hard wood on the floor. Maybee, just maybee I would wake up and it was all a dream. A very painful dream. Maybe Edward was just a dream, the Cullens a dream. The more I thought it, the more convinced I became. Yes, it really was a dream. There was no such thing as vampires, or that type of perfect beauty. And then I found it.

My fingers had been tracing the floor, that they had actually gone a few feet out, spanning across the room. I hit something, a light something. It felt like a very thing skip of paper. At first, I thought I was imaging it, but then a sharp pain in my finger, realized I wasn't imagining anything. I just had just sustained a paper cut. I looked down eagerly at the slip of paper.

In the very neat scrawl, I loved so much was the word, Always

I stood up abruptly, and raced out of the house, tripping a few times before, finding my way out of the house. Never had it felt this big before, this---empty. I reached the porch, feeling slightly sick. My stomach was clenching and un-clenching in emotional agony.

I stumbled down the front steps, to the spot where the Cullens liked to park their cars. There was a indent of where the silver volvo had once been. More proof that they were real. I tripped and fell to my knees, shaking violently, my body racked with dry sobs, there was no Edward there to catch me now.

I cried for what felt like years had passed, before I stood up, my eyes still wet from the moisture that had accumulated there, I got in my car and drove away from my second home. The only home where Edward had felt free, and I with him.

I didn't return home to Charlie's house, instead I kept on driving. I drove till my truck ran out of gas, and I had to pull off the road. It wasn't even the highway, it was a dirt path leading away from the Cullen's empty home. The forest surrounded every inch of the road, and for once I didn't feel scared of it. I felt angry with it.

Just to make Edward angry, where ever he was, I entered the green leafed canopy of the forest. Instantly I was thrown into total darkness. Stubbornly, I kept on walking, until I tripped over a uprooted tree root. I fell to the ground with a groan, I had scraped my knee on the harsh bark.

"Great!" I screamed as loud as I could, gaining more volume with each syllable. "This is just great! Absolutely perfect!" I ranted on like this for atleast twenty minutes, before my voice began to grown hoarse.

When I had stopped screaming at myself in the cover of the forest. The silence pressed in around me, making me feel terrified at what I had just walked myself into. Gradually, I eased myself into a sitting position, pulling the broken twig out of my hair. The silence closed in on me, it was the most terrifying sound in the world.

My ears were listening to every movement in the dark forest, that was why I had heard the 'SNAP' of a broken twig not so far off. In fact it was very close. Too close.

I went rigid, refusing to even move my eyes in my head to look around. Fear gripped my body in a choke hold, refusing to let me escape its carefull watch. My breathing stopped, but my heart was thudding in my chest frantically.

And then I heard a roar, not Edwards's roar, but a different, more menacing feral snarl, ringing in the thick forest air. I felt a very srtong body knock me over, its teeth barred. I could see it was a man, dark black hair and very pale skin. His eyes were golden, like Edwards but he was thirsty, and they were quickly turning black. He snarled, pinning my weak body to the ground, in one motion he had bitten my writs, attempting to suck all the blood from my body.

He never finished, in the half a second he had attacked me, he was now cowering in the cover of the trees. "I'm so s-sorry," he whispered, wiping his blood stained mouth. " I never meant...I never..."

I tried to tell him that I was fine, but then the fierce inferno hit me again. It was worse than the first time, much worse. The fire shot much faster up my veins than last time, my nerves were burning in the hell fire. I arched my back, my body screaming in agony. And then I passed out.

I woke to a small lilac colored room, in a very nice white mansion. I sat up my head spinning as fast as possible. I felt like I was going to hurl. A deep sigh came from the corner of the room. My head shot over to the man in the corner much faster that I should have been able.

"Hello," a very silky voice said kindly. I winced, he was much louder than need be. "I thought you'd never wake." I studied the man, he had dark black hair, that was very shaggy, his skin as ashen as Edward's.

Edward. My stomach sank, for a very brief moment I had forgotten Edward but now he was back into my brain. I expected my eyes to fill with tears, but they didn't, though I felt like crying.

"Who are you," I spat with much more venom than I intended.

"Gideon...Gideon Gray. And i'm so sorry Isabella Swan. I truly am." He bent over, his body shaking, deep dry sobs coming through out him.

"It's ok...how do you know my name?"

"Joshua recognized you from the television. My son." He explained at the confused look I was giving him. "You were a missing person for a few days, I'm sorry for that."

"What do you mean were?" My brain was much faster than it had once been, I picked up one things he wasn't saying.

"We...we had to fake your death."

"Wh-what? Why?" He stared at me incredulously.

"I changed you, Isabella, it's all my fault." He buried his face into his black jacket. "I turned you into a vampire, I was so thirsty in the forest, I couldn;t help myself, but I stopped before...before I could kill you."

My stomach dropped out at his words. I immediatly went numb to anything he was trying to say next. Realization swopped over me. I, Isabella Swan was now a full-fledged vampire.

"I'm so sorry," Gideon apoligized again. I looked into his bright butterscotch eyes.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I understand better than you might think. I knew a clan of vampires..." My voice trailed off, I couldn't talk about the Cullens. Sweet Alice, and hilarious Emmett. And...my...my knight in shining armor---Edward. "They drank off animals too, I understand." He looked shocked by my knowledge of the vampire world. "And please call me Bella, now...tell me about your children.