Disclaimer:  Disney thinks me a nuisance.  YOU CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING, MOUSE!  I will get Sparrow!  Just you wait and see!  (I don't own anything, by the way.)

Author's Note:    Yay!  Review responses!

Eccentric Mannerisms- Oh boy!  I'm glad you be liking my stories, dearie!  I suppose Mr. Cotton's Parrot wouldn't mind eating all that extra food you dropped.  I'm happy to hear that I still keep your attention glued to the screen still into chapter eight!  That's a good sign, I'd say!  Thanks!

Tora Aykanami- Falling out of the chair laughing?  Yay!  Can I join in, too?  After all, it's the best medicine…second to rum, of course.  (wink)

NazgulGirl-  Okay, I surrender!  (covers shins)  Here's another chapter for ye, savvy?

XqUiSiTeChErRy-  Jack is going to do quite a lot, now that he's drunk!  Woot!  Drunk as a skunk!  That's a lot of 'please's.  I think I'm going to call Guiness Book of World Records.  You may make it in there. 

Cayenne Pepper Powder- You're the bee's knees!  I know what you mean.  Usually I don't enjoy stories where Will and Elizabeth are apart from one reason or the other…perhaps it's because he's not the one I think is hunkalicious?  *wink wink again*  And thank you so much for the compliments about the characters.  I appreciate it!

Amarie Helyanme- Hey, chica!  Love getting reviews from you all the time.  Don't worry, Jack won't kill June…he has… "other plans".  : )

Leanan Sidhe- Ah HA!  Now you must update, you updating fiend!  And make sure to take a peek at the end of the chapter, for I am heeding your advice.  This is going to be uber awesome!  The "woe" quote was one of my personal faves, too.  Great minds think alike, remember that.  (wink)  Whew, I'm getting parched from all the winking in this author's note.  And if I had a chance to jump into your stories and meet Sands or Abberline, I wouldn't hesitate to jump them immediately.  I guess I have less self control.  Good luck writing!  I enjoy your chapters immensely!

Plateado- Hey, bud!  Congrats on finishing Secrets of the Caribbean.  It was wonderfully fantastic, I assure you.  Seeing William with his bottom stuck in a water barrel would have been quite the treat.  I'd pay to see that.  June and Jack do set each other off quite easily, don't they?  But we love 'em so.  Thanks for reading, my pal!  Gold stars for you!

Emma436- Indeed something good happens in this chapter…I think!  It all depends on what you view as something 'good'!  I always like your reviews, luv.  Gives me the warm fuzzies inside, honestly.  Thanks for reading!

Orliandviggochic- Thanks so much!  (big fanfiction.net hug, shortly followed by the secret handshake of justice)  Here's your update!

TheSiriusSparrow-  We meet again, SiriusSparrow!  Your reviews are so awesome, there are no words.  Clearly they rock my socks as well.  Wonderful phrase.  "Rocks my socks" shall forever prevail in the English language.  Yeah, if had to listen to sniveling Will for more than five minutes straight, I would not hesitate to toss him in glue, roll him in Cracker Jacks, and send a flock of wild geese after him.  (laughs wildly)  Ah, it's too good a mental picture. 

Jaxindi- You are so sweet!  Thank you so much for reading and its reviews like yours that are just the icing on the cake of writing stories.  I hope you like this chapter, and don't be afraid to speak your mind about it!  I appreciate it.  One pirate sword for you!  (sure, it may be a wooden one, but you can never be too safe…you could poke your eye out!) 

-See the bottom of this chapter for an important announcement-

                                                            Read on, mateys!

                                                                        PineAppleLint

* * *

            "Will," Ana snapped, "Could you be any heavier?" 

            William Turner mumbled something incoherently through his closed lips in response. 

            "Well, say something!" she replied in exasperation, "Or has all the wine gone to your brain?"

            "You told me not to speak and I am obeying your wishes," he said in irritation, "So do not poke and prod at me.  This was your doing." 

            "My doing?" she asked with a snort, "Did I shovel all that drink down your throat?  Did I hold a funnel between your lips and empty a bottle or two into it?  I think not!  Now…stop talking!"

            He muttered something under his breath and she glared at him.  "What was that?" she questioned icily, "I missed that last remark, William." 

            "That is because I said it quietly so you wouldn't hear what I was calling you, Anastasia," he retorted, then fixed his gaze back on the path in front of them.  Ever so slowly, he began leaning more of his weight onto her just to piss her off. 

            Letting out an 'ooooopf', she struggled to keep upright as they climbed the steady hill up to the docks. 

            "You owe me," she seethed when he belched purposefully next to her face, "Christ, you smell like donkey arse." 

            "I owe you nothing," he replied arrogantly.  Or, at least, trying to make it sound all arrogant, but the slur ruined it.  They made their way onto the docks and she pushed him off of her. 

            "Stay here," she ordered, pointing at his feet, "And try not to do anything stupid, as Jack puts it ever so nicely, while I prepare our boat." 

            Will glared at her, pursed his lips together, and crossed his arms.  He leaned against one of the wooden posts, silently fuming. 

            Ana turned her back and began walking down to the end of the dock, trying to figure out which boat had been theirs, when she heard a splash. 

            Whirling back around, she realized William Turner was gone. 

* * *

            June was in a nervous wreck.  She had seen Jack in the distance, following after her in his own rowboat, looking ready to strangle her with his bandanna.  She had never rowed so fast in her damn life.  At the moment she had locked herself in her and Ana's room, praying he'd be too drunk to want to go after her.  The rum was beginning to cause a topsy-turvy affect on her as well, and it didn't feel so dandy. 

            Suddenly, the door was kicked in and she gasped, pressing herself against the far corner of the wall as Sparrow walked through.  He was a man on a mission, and nothing was going to get in his way. 

            Looking around the room, his eyes locked on hers. 

            "You'll have to pay for that door," she pointed out meekly. 

            "Like I had to pay for all those kegs o' rum?" he asked flatly.  She stood up quickly from her cot and watched him as he began to circle her.  Jack Sparrow had found his prey.  Now he was just contemplating on how to bring it down in the most painful way possible. 

            His trinkets jingled, his coat flapped against his legs, his boots 'thunk'ed against the floor.  Jack's kohl-rimmed eyes were full of fire.  And that was what scared her the most.  There was no mischief in those eyes to accompany that fire.  This time, it wasn't a game.  He was done with her and her pranks. 

            "What did ye expect me to do?" she asked, "Ye embarrassed me in front o' the men.  That wasn't good form."

            "And ye ne'er do anythin' o' that sort to me, ever," he shot back sarcastically.  His words sloppily ran together like hers had been doing for the past two hours.

            Two drunk pirates + disagreement = brawl.  June never did like math. 

            "I think it's about time ye lose some o' that dignity you're so intent on keepin'," he drawled darkly, "And I think I 'ave just the thing for ye.  Ye can thank me mum, rest her soul, for this one." 

            "Your drunk, Jack…" June said, "Don't do anythin' rash you'll regret later." 

            "I'm drunk sames as you," he shot back, "So don't prattle on."  Then he yanked her to him. 

            June cried out as he fisted a hand into her hair and dragged her over to the cot, where he sat.  "Stand still," he demanded with a slur.  She did as she was told, not knowing what to expect…

            …until he yanked down her breeches, exposing her knickers.  "Jack!" she shouted, "What in hell do ye think you're doing?"  She tried to pull them up again but he grabbed her and flung her over his knee, causing her rump to stick up in the air like she was doing acrobatics. 

            Then he slapped her hard on the buttocks.  She cried out and yelled, "This isn't funny, Jack!  Let me UP!"  She thrashed and struggled but he pinned her there. 

            "When I was bad as a tot," he said, "Me mum used to punish me.  Me arse would be pink for a week, let me tell you!"  And he slapped her again. 

            Under different circumstances, June would think it was incredibly kinky to have the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow spanking her on her rear end, but this was downright WRONG.  That callused, rough hand had one hell of a bite to it, and her ass cheeks were beginning to sting like hell. 

            "Apologize!" he ordered, his hand connecting with her rump again with such force she bit her lip to keep from moaning in pain. 

            "Just stop this insanity!" she cried, beginning to feel lightheaded from the awkward position she was in over his knee. 

            "Apologize!" he repeated angrily, slapping her again. 

            "I'm sorry!" June replied hastily, "I'm sorry for everythin' I've put ye through, I'm sorry for the pranks and the jokes and the useless banter!  Just let me go, please!" 

            Sparrow let go of her and she fell to the floor in a humiliated heap.  Hiding her face from him, she said sharply, "This will not be spoken of…ever.  Understand?"  She felt him pick her up and set her on her feet once more, and his fingers slid the waistband of her breeches back to its regular place.  "I cannot believe ye just did that," she said with a shake of her head, letting out a snort of laughter, "Its unreal, that's what it is." 

            When Jack didn't answer, she glanced up at him.  Something in his deep brown eyes changed.  He seemed…unsure about something, lost.  Like he didn't know what to do next. 

            "I have a feeling I'll remember this in the mornin' and hate meself for it," he muttered. 

            "Most likely," she agreed, "And I'll just wake up hatin' ye like always.  How's that for a good deal?  We can blame it on alcohol." 

            "Too much of it, that's for damn sure," Jack replied with a grin, touching his goatee thoughtfully. 

            "Sparrow?" she asked suddenly, "Why did ye want me off o' that bloke's lap?  Did it really bother ye that much?"  His eyes met hers and he looked uncomfortable, surprised, unnerved she'd even ask such a thing. 

            "I don't care who ye go gallivantin' off with," he responded flatly, narrowing his eyes at her, "That means I don't have to bother meself with ye anymore, and I like it that way." 

            "Perhaps ye were just protectin' me chaste self," she thought aloud, smiling to herself, "Jack Sparrow, the protector of chastity.  What a lovely title!" 

            "Chaste?  Ye are no where near chaste," he guffawed, eyeing her suspiciously, "And I wouldn't protect it.  Even if I was paid to do so!" 

            "How nice," she stated with a roll of her eyes, "It's nice to know ye care so much.  You're lucky I'm inebriated o' else I'd be kickin' yer arse right now for that horrible punishment display and those cruel words just now." 

            "Nah," Jack cringed, "I bet yer going to do that tomorrow mornin', bright and early."

            "Well, then I better get me shut eye if I'm going to be kickin' yer ass," June retorted, "You best be getting rest too, ye know, to prepare for bein' awfully beaten up." 

            "Hellcat," Sparrow replied with malice. 

            "Bastard."

            "Whore." 

            "Eunuch."

            "Bi…" Sparrow was cut off by June nuzzling the side of his face.  He froze in shock.  It's the rum, it's the rum…he chanted in his thoughts, but his eyes widened when he saw his own hands disobey him and run down her spine. 

            "Your whiskers tickle," she breathed, her hot breath caressing the flesh of his cheek. 

            "Luv, may I point out ye're quite intoxicated?" he stammered.

            "May I point out the same thing about ye?" she whispered, opening her black eyes, "I just want to kiss ye goodnight.  Is that too much to ask?"

            Jack Sparrow didn't answer.  His mind was swarming with crazy thoughts, desire was flowing on the current of his bloodstream, and all the while his conscience was shouting no! no! no!  You hate her, remember?

            "Is that too much to ask?" she repeated.  He let out a slow breath when her fingers traced the outline of his belt, and swallowed hard when she ran a thumb down the holster of his pistol. 

            "June Oleander, I advise ye to stop this behavior," he commanded hoarsely, his voice cracking when her hands crept underneath his shirt and stroked his tan, quivering abdomen. 

            Gathering up all the will power he had stored away, he used it and took own step away from her. 

            "Good night, June," he said sharply. 

            "G'night, Captain.  El Capitan."  She giggled and fell back into her cot, one leg slung over the side.  June immediately began to snore. 

            Jack should have taken off her boots, made her comfortable, but he was oddly frightened.  So he walked as quickly as he could out of her cabin and locked himself in his own, throwing his clothes to the floor and jumping into his large bed.  Jack was sweating like mad. 

            "Oh, the bloodiest o' all hangovers," he moaned, "Please claim me when the sun rises."

 As he punched the pillow a couple times before settling down into a restless sleep, Sparrow desperately hoped he did not remember the happenings of that night come morning. 

* * *

            "William Turner!" Anastasia shouted, "You show yourself this very instant!  Stop acting like a wee lad and face me!"  She was answered with silence, yet again.  Glancing over into the murky grey waters, she saw bubbles floating to the surface and popping gently.  Holy hellfire on a stick. 

            "What is a girl to do?" she muttered while she yanked off her dress angrily, "Now I have to get half naked, jump in and save the bumbling fool from drowning."  Pausing for a moment, she reconsidered this.  "But if he died, all this banter of his long lost love would perish into thin air!"  Grumbling to herself as she stood there in her bodice and slip, she added, "Tis a shame I love the bastard so much," and dove in. 

            She opened her eyes, the salt water stinging a little, and found him at the bottom in the sand, unconscious, and tiny blue fish were nibbling on his earlobes.  Ana grabbed him and struggled to drag him along with her to the top of the water.  Gasping for air when she hit the surface, she careened his bobbing form to the shore. 

            Shoving him onto solid land, she dropped in exhaustion next to him. 

            "Aw, he's so peaceful when he has water in his lungs," she thought aloud with a tilt of her head, examining him.  Pinching his nose, she hesitated when she realized her mouth was going to be on his.  She was going to lock lips with Will Turner!  Not the most romantic of circumstances, but hey, she'd take what was thrown at her.  When she settled her mouth on his she concluded that his lips were full, almost feminine, but cold from lack of oxygen.  She breathed steadily into his mouth and he immediately choked.  Reeling back, she watched as he coughed up water and gasped for air once again. 

            They sat still for a couple of moments, and Will finally said with narrowed eyes, "I never knew you'd try to kill me." 

            "Excuse me?" she scoffed, "In case you don't remember, oh-Smart-One, you fell in.  I saved you from drowning and getting eaten by fish.  That is why you are here, as it were." 

            He glanced around himself and said tiredly, "Perhaps you are right."  

            "Not 'perhaps', Will," she seethed, "You owe me an apology." 

            "No I don't." 

            She was about to open her mouth and say some very nasty, unladylike things when he explained what he meant.  "No, not only an apology," Will said, touching the side of her face, "Anastasia, I owe you my life."  

* * *

CROIKEY!  CHARACTER CONTEST!  AVAST!

The gang is going to hang out in Tortuga for one more day!  Ah, but if Anastasia Walker wants to learn how to be a pirate, she's got to have the effects of one, aye?  Readers, writers, start your engines!  PineAppleLint needs a character for her next chapter of Make Him Move On!  We need a woman who runs her own shop that carries pistols, swords, and the like…and need we say…will she catch Sparrow's eye?  And make June jealous?  Who knows!  That's up to you to decide!  So write a review to PineAppleLint describing your character in any way possible.  When reviews trickle down to nothing, PaL will choose the best one and low and behold, use it in Chapter Ten! 

Good luck!