Disclaimer: Me no own! Gah.

Author's Note: I'm BACCKKKKK! Twice the action! Twice the entertaining banter! Twice the…twice the rum! Well, there isn't rum in this chapter but if it had rum in it, there would be caboodles of it. I realized I updated this at the beginning of July and sorry for the extended delay. Ever seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? That is a very irrevelant question, but it's on the television. And it's delightful. Okay, okay, without further ado, go read!

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-Jack grinned and whispered, "I know it's there, luv. And I have…ways…o' getting the information I want." She raised her eyebrows as Jack ran his lips across her pulsing throat and added huskily, "Savvy?"-

June smiled, saying, "Whatever do ye mean, Captain Sparrow? Going to do me laundry? Give me a neck massage?"

He sighed in frustration and said impatiently, "You know damned well what I meant."

"Enlighten me," she replied impishly, waiting for his response.

"I…am willin'…to sleep wit' ye for the map," Jack said through clenched teeth, "So do we have an accord?"

She could tell he really didn't want to do this. His left eye was twitching like mad and it seemed like he winced every time he came in contact with her skin.

"Do ye really think I'm that desperate?" she questioned with a pouty frown, "Oh Jack, how you amuse me so."

"Dammit, ye lil' wretch!" he cried, pushing her away.

"When I want ye to bed me," she said while wiggling her eyebrows, "I'll let ye know."

"Oh really?" He narrowed his kohl-rimmed eyes at her, "By all means, ye just lost your chance to be wit' me, darlin'."

"I don't think so."

"Christ, what do ye mean by tha'?"

"Trust me, soon you'll be pantin' passionately just for me to touch ye and it will all be over after that, savvy?"

"Arrogant whore."

"Egotistical moron!"

"Selfish wench!"

"Flamboyant pansy!"

"Bitch!"

"Annoyin' prick!"

Silence surrounded them. She grabbed him by the front of his coat and pressed her lips roughly onto his. Jack was lost. So lost in fact, he forgot to retrieve the map from the back of her breeches as he concentrated on her tongue in his mouth, on how he was pressing her to him so harshly that they both could barely breathe. Their lips toyed with each other, biting, teasing. When he finally yanked her off of him, he said breathlessly, "What the hell are ye playin' at? I thought ye didn't want me!"

"I'm sorry," she shrugged, "It's just that this stupid banter makes me want to contradict meself."

"Give me the map," he demanded.

"No."

Cursing, he stomped out of her room in a violent frenzy, slamming his fist into the wall on his way out. June smiled when she heard the echoed 'ow dammit, ow!'s coming from the hallway.

"It will only be a matter o' time, dear Captain…" she said in satisfaction, resting on her cot, hands behind her head, "…just ye wait and see."

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"This is a bunch of codswallop," Anastasia grumbled, holding her sword at an acceptable angle to Will's. They were going to duel…and it wasn't going to be pretty.

William laughed as he paused amidst his stance to correct hers, nudging her feet the proper length apart with his black boots. "It isn't going to be that awful, Anastasia. You have been a wonderful student. Very perceptive and eager to learn…"

"That's a bunch of codswallop also," she grinned, waving her hand in front of her sweaty face, trying to fight off the humid air, "I've been the worst fencer known to mankind. The rules of engagement seem like an ancient language to me. I bet at the end of the rules there's something that goes a little like 'Anyone herewith by the name of Anastasia Walker should not participate in the craft of swordsmanship.'"

"Perhaps you just need a while longer to get the hang of it," Will pointed out, tying up his long hair as he spoke, "All beginners need time to get the feel of a sword."

"Coming from a champion fencer," she retorted, eyeing him with distaste, "Let's just get this over and done with."

"We've dueled before," Will said, trying to bite back an amused smile, "What's so different about this time?"

"This time I'm not covered in padding and you're not going to take it easy on me!" she said with a shake of her head, then warned, "You better not take it easy on me, or I swear I'll…"

"Good, this is good. Keep that anger…transform it into energy, put it into your moves," Will replied, tongue-in-cheek.

"Come on, I don't have all day," Ana snorted with a roll of her eyes, "I feel myself getting older just listening to you."

The invincible Will Turner got into position, his blade softly touching hers, a superior smirk stretching across his face.

"En guarde!" she shouted maniacally.

Will chuckled at this, which caused her cheeks to redden.

"What? Not en guarde?" Ana asked with a scratch of her head.

"First thing's first…try not to make yourself sound like an idiot in front of your opponent. Sure, I may be the master of the sword, but Jack is the master of the quips."

"Why, Will!" she gasped, "It seems as if your ego is suffocating me!" and promptly grabbed at her own neck, choking and wheezing mockingly.

"All right, fine. Let's begin, shall we?" Will said with a bemused expression.

Their eyes met, flashing with excitement, and Anastasia took the first move, thrusting to her left. Will dodged it expertly before circling her like she was his prey. She watched him like a hawk, awaiting any sudden movements.

Suddenly, he attacked. The blade was everywhere at once and the only way to stay on her feet was to parry all of his blows, deflecting them feebly with her tarnished sword. He backed her into the outer wall of Jack's cabin as she stared, openmouthed.

"Give up?" he asked with a grin.

"This is something I learned from a good friend of mine," she said sweetly and promptly punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him, making him bend over in shocked pain.

"Holy hell…" he gasped.

Ana wrenched his sword from his grasp and pointed both his and hers next to his throat. "Give up?" she questioned cheekily.

"You ignored the rules of engagement," he said flatly, frustration and annoyance lacing his tone.

"You were acting all hoity toity, William, and I just couldn't have that," she responded with an innocent shrug, "But if you want to cry about it, fine. Here." And she dropped his weapon on the deck, it clattering in front of him.

"Did the gel beat ye, eunuch?" Jack called from the helm, waving at the both of them.

"She did not," Will answered with an agitated frown, "She ignored the rules of engagement!"

"Don't worry, lass!" Jack called to Ana, "In me opinion, you beat him fair and square. It's just that he's always had a stick shoved up his arse about the rules of engagement. Got to respect 'em and all that. I wouldn't take his whinin' to heart, Anastasia, me darling."

"I am not whining," Will argued through clenched teeth, throwing his hands up in the air, "It's not my problem I'm stuck on a ship full of cheaters."

Jack curled a dread around his finger, beginning to hum to himself, forgetting he was ever engaged in an actual conversation as he drifted off into space.

"Well, shall we try again, Mister Turner?" Ana asked politely, winking at him.

"Yes, let's…" he replied with narrowed eyes, picking up his sword and instantly jabbing it her way. She fell on her bum in her desperate attempt to dodge it, letting out an 'ompf!' of surprise.

"Let's play it your way, Anastasia," he said with an evil smile, "No rules."

Anastasia didn't like the sound of that. She knew if she didn't forfeit, she was going to come out of this duel missing fingers or her nose. She had won the battle, but William was most certainly going to win the war.

Thinking of this, she lost concentration and forgot to parry, allowing Will to slice a clean cut on her right arm, from her shoulder to her elbow. She instantly dropped her sword and gritted her teeth, holding the wound and glaring at him.

Will's frustration and slight anger vanished, his eyes suddenly soft as he dropped his own weapon and reached out for her arm. She sighed as he took it, examined it closely, and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Anastasia. I never meant to draw blood. This was a duel for teaching purposes only. I guess I got a little carried away."

"A little?" she snorted, "Define 'a little', Will."

"Let's clean this up," he suggested, raising his eyebrows, "Do you forgive me?"

Ana sighed again, cringing. Dammit, she could never stay mad at Turner, no matter how hard she tried to look it. She nodded and he smiled gratefully, taking her hand and placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles. It sent a shiver straight up her spine. Fortunately he didn't notice her shudder.

"Come on, I think there is some salve downstairs," Will said after a moment of silence. With an inner groan, Ana allowed herself to be led downstairs by the infuriatingly cocky William Turner, silently hating his gallant demeanor. And what she hated most of all was that she loved him for it, too.

"I think there is some salve downstairs?" June scoffed, "That is the worst line in the history of the world. Ever. That is the worst way to get some."

Jack moaned, silently wishing he could just pound his head against the mast she was leaning against and knock himself unconscious just to drown out her incessant rambling.

"Ye know what? I suppose it's the second worst way to get some," June commented thoughtfully, tapping her chin with her index finger.

"Oh?" Jack asked, massaging his temple, "What's the first?"

"I think the first worst line in history used to get some is 'I'm willing to sleep wit' ye for the map'."

"June?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Bugger off."

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I say: "Give me an R!" R! "Give me an E!" E! "Give me a V!" V! "Give me an I!" I! "Give me another E!" E! "Give me a W!" W! What does that spell? No Jack, it doesn't spell eunuch. REVIEW!