Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Savvy?


"Wait a damn moment," June growled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, "What do ye mean, Captain Jack Sparrow's house? As in house, ye mean…"

"Humble abode? Luxurious living space? Why yes, I do believe that is what he meant," Anastasia replied smartly.

"You're tellin' me that Jack, Jack Sparrow, can live on land?" June said incredulously, "Well, this is news to me."

"Couldn't help but overhear your conversation, ladies," a gruff voice said hesitantly in the doorway. June glanced up, focusing on Mr. Gibbs.

"Aw, come to tuck me in?" she winked, "I hope there's a goodnight kiss involved. All me dreams will revolve around you if I'm lucky."

Gibbs's fingers twitched in a silent urge to do a sign of the Cross but fought against it and won. Instead, he scratched his graying sideburns in irritation. "Jack's an interestin' man. I've known him since he was a lil' lad and I still haven't gotten all of him figured out."

"That makes two of us," June muttered to herself. Of course, Ana picked up on this soft comment immediately and grinned.

"Tell us about this house, Gibbs," Ana said excitedly, "Is it…"

"…a pig-sty?" June yawned the interruption.

"I'll let ye both see for yourselves," he said with a secretive smile, "Only been there a couple o' times meself…Captain takes us there every once and a while for a break." He shook his head, indulging himself in the memories before saying, "It's getting late. I'll see ye both up bright and early tomorrow."

"I guess I'm not getting lucky tonight, then," June pouted at him, twirling a piece of her knotty hair on her finger, "Leaving so soon?"

He arched a bushy eyebrow at her, saying in exasperation, "I'm this close to throwing you overboard…or leavin' you on some deserted island where no one has to put up with your annoyin' presence."

"That hurts," she said, lip trembling, eyes full of self-pity, "You know where that hurts?" She pointed to her chest, right at her beating heart. "Right here."

"G'night!" Gibbs all but shouted, slamming the door after him.

"Men," June sighed.


"I expect June and Ana know o' our plans?" Jack asked, leaning against the helm and facing his flustered first mate as he returned.

"Yes," Gibbs grumbled, "June is harassin' me again."

Jack grinned, turning his gaze up towards the clear heavens, "Ye can't handle one psychotic gel?"

Gibbs stared at him blankly. "Ha! Gel? She's anythin' but. Surely you know that."

Hell, did Jack ever. Girls were innocents. Now women were an entirely different story. You had your proper ladies that put their napkins on their laps and acted virginal. Then you had those who would stick their tongue down your throat to distract you as they stole your coin purse. Was it possible June could be both at times? Hell, he didn't know. His eyes drifted to his scuffed boots as he squirmed, thinking of how she had kissed him with reckless abandon, teasing him, urging him on until he couldn't possibly say no…

"Jack?"

He snapped out of it quickly. "What? What is it?"

"Have ye been takin' her to bed?"

Jack blinked a few times before his calm expression transformed into one of pure horror. "Are ye kiddin' me, mate? I would rather slice me own goods off and feed 'em to the fishes." He suddenly narrowed his dark, stormy eyes, adding roughly, "Why would ye ask such a thing?"

"The way she acts around ye, Captain. Edgy. Erm, sensual. I can't explain it…"

"She enjoys teasin' me, Gibbs, nothin' more," he said through clenched teeth, "Ye know how women are. If at first they don't succeed and all that nonsense."

"Aye, Captain." Gibbs said hesitantly, "Ye know ye can tell me if you are, Jack. I won't tell a soul, I won't."

Jack's eyes bulged out of his forehead, giving him a comical experience as his mouth gaped wordlessly. His fingers flew around his head with jerky, feminine movements as he cried, "What the hell did I just say?! N-o. No! I'm not!"

With that, he stormed off into his cabin, slamming the door after him in an agitated huff. Why would Gibbs really think he would be getting 'intimate' with the likes of June Oleander?

He growled in disgust, sinking into the large chair behind his desk. He placed his boots on the table and sat there for a minute or two before growing frustrated and kicking a book off with one furious swing of his foot. It went flying and landed on the floor with a thud.

Jack couldn't explain what was happening to him. Was he really acting that differently around the likes of June? He despised her, loathed her with a passion that made every muscle in his body contract with barely contained rage.

Why did everyone think he felt otherwise? He didn't, dammit. He would rather die than give in to her teasing.

"Ahem."

Jack looked up, his eyes ablaze as they fell on a cocky June standing in the doorway.

"Land is sighted, good sir," she said with a smirk, majestically bowing before him, "I thought you'd want to know. How about a kiss to celebrate?"

"Get out!" he shouted, "Did I tell ye you could enter?! Get the hell out!" And he threw another book from his desk straight at her head. Her eyes widened and she bolted before it could hit her, leaving the door gaping open and his crew staring curiously inside.

What was happening to him?


June whistled cheerfully, pausing amidst her rowing to tuck the escaping wisps of hair back into her unruly bun. Ana sat on the other side of the boat, staring at her oddly.

"What was that horrible yelling about upstairs?" Ana questioned.

June glanced in her direction and then back out to sea again. "It's none o' your concern, darling. Just leave it to me."

"I think it is my concern. You are my friend, after all."

June, tan arms flexing as she worked the oars, grinned, replying, "Jack is frustrated…" she paused before adding slyly, "…sexually frustrated."

Ana's cheeks turned a pinkish tinge as she stared at the bottom of the boat. "Oh?"

"He's fighting his desire for me," June sighed dramatically, "It's drivin' him mad."

Suddenly, their rowboat wobbled as another hit them in the rear.

June was scowling and Ana turned, afraid of what she would see next.

Jack was shooting her a venomous glare and Will was staring at them both apologetically.

"Why don't ye watch where you're going, Jack!" June yelled, "Are ye blind, ye rottin' sack of manure?!"

"Well how about ye stop spreadin' damn lies about me, Oleander?" Jack yelled back, rowing a bit more so the boats bumped together again, causing whiplash.

"Retarded monkey," June muttered.

"Stupid hag," Sparrow grumbled before maneuvering his and Will's boat past theirs with lightning speed. June stuck her tongue out at them as they drifted by.

"I'm glad you're handling this in a very mature matter," Anastasia commented dryly.

"What can I say?" June shrugged, "Mature's my middle name."

A/N: It felt so good to write again. How I've missed it. I hope you swabs liked it. Drop me a review! (winkity winkity)