Sorry for the long wait for an update. Christmas season LONG SHIFTS AT WORK. I've been working nine-hour-shifts for the past week and a half, and it's really dragged down my writing. So, bear with me for the holidays, mon amours?


A/N: As usual, I'm thoroughly devoted to my fellow ROZ writer, Marianne, and to my loyal fans.


Disclaimer: For some reason, my BFF Eileen sent me Father Flannigan stamps and thought he looked like Joe Flannigan...I KID! I KID! She said the name brought up Joe...who to those out you not up on the credits...is Colonel Sheppard. (Pssht, losers!)


Chapter 4: Smile Like You Mean It


There are certain rules that are unanimous and unspoken amongst the militaristic sects of all civilizations that have ever been formed during the time of Written History. Since History is written, then the rules are really only passed along by DNA imprinting, IE the tin soldiers of everywhere and anywhere just know.

The first rule is about emotional control. A true warrior knows that whilst passion can be good in other pursuits, in combat situations, it can only lead to mistakes. Go in level-headed, and you come out with your head. Rage can only lead to death or injury.

The second rule is about body. A true warrior keeps himself in fit condition, at all times. There is a small subsection to this rule, in that, there are two types of warriors. One type is that of the "lean and mean" variety. Some men, to their own dismay, are more physically composed of skinny and less of bulk. This leads them to overworking their bodies until they're very hard, yet still, not bulky. They are "lean and mean". The second type is the "big and ugly" type. Now, understand, "ugly" does always apply. The "big and ugly" type of body is large, in charge, and usually impotent (damn steroids!). This body type usually occurs in the taller men, and is acquired quite naturally. Some men just develop better than others, nothing wrong with being lean, though.

The third rule is about the mind, and it directly ties into the body rule. "Lean and Mean" body types are more inclined to be leaders, as well as more intelligent and savvy than any other warrior. The "big and ugly" warriors are commonly referred to as "thugs" for a reason. (Exceptions to this rule are far and between, yet still known to occur.)

The fourth rule is that warriors never smile, and in the rare occasions that they do, it must be done so in a thoroughly warrior-like way.

Taking into account these rules, was it any wonder that Colonel Sheppard's team and Shalimar's did not get along at first sight? Or second sight?

Colonel Sheppard, most definitely of the "Lean and Mean" variety approached the group of warriors awaiting on the other side of the wormhole, and was surprised to find that Elizabeth was not waiting there as well. Almost a month without sight of his leader, and Johnny Boy was feeling angsty, and his greeting reflected.

"Where's she at?"

Shalimar stared down the smaller man, his muscles clenching attractively as he readied himself, instinctively he told himself, for any actions that might come. Sheppard's team was a small one, consisting of the Colonel, a woman, and two men (if the small balding one counted as a man). Drawing his attention back to the leader of the group, Shalimar cocked his head to the side and eyed him down. "You're not seeing anyone until I'm convinced you're not with Kolya."

Rodney stepped forward slightly, drawing the hostile welcoming committee's attention. It was only really Shalimar, Gordy, and a couple more soldiers, yet still quite intimidating. "You're familiar with Kolya?"

Shal grinned mirthlessly. "We've met."

"So have we!" Rodney exclaimed, ready to rush into his "let's kick Genii ass together" speech, but Sheppard cut him short.

"We're not here about Kolya," at least not yet, Sheppard thought to himself, "we're here about Elizabeth."

The large black man beside Shalimar (whose name Sheppard only knew from description by Lorne) stepped forward slightly. "Why are you so anxious to see her?"

Sheppard looked at the man like he was an idiot (which Gordy so did not appreciate). "Because we've not seen her for a month, and she's our friend. Because she's our leader, and our expedition is in chaos without her. Because Rodney's silly squabbles with the other kids means he doesn't get recess until they're settled, and I don't want to, so Elizabeth has to." This little speech had little to no affect on the "aliens", but did wonders for the spirits of most of the team (excluding Rodney, who sorely missed his recess).

"You're not seeing anyone until we're convinced you're not working with Kolya," Shal repeated, firm in this edict. Behind him, his soldiers, the trained and elite and chosen by his hand, stepped into a "V" formation to flank him, proving the way impassible for the Atlantians.

Sheppard grinned, but it looked more like a baring of his teeth with his eyes all angry like they were (a true warrior's smile). "For a trading post, you're really not very friendly."

"We trade, but we're not stupid."

"Oh, reaaaaaally?"

Shal narrowed his eyes, ready to step forward and take the scrawny little punk to the mat, maybe teach him a lesson. Behind his group, however, a small commotion was growing. Seeing a small signal from the controller's room near the side of the large embankment where the Gate was located, Shal stepped aside and gestured for Shep and his team to follow.

Within seconds, the Gate opened a new wormhole, and Kolya himself was dragged into the room. Sheppard instinctively pulled his weapon and aimed, his recent trails at the hands of this madman fresh in his mind. Shal, with a small movement of his head, stopped his soldiers from attacking, and watched the scene that followed.

Sheppard glared at the older brunet, something akin to hatred in those baby blues. "You!"

Kolya likewise glared from his own brown eyes. "You!"

"You!"

"You!"

This continued for a few seconds, before Sheppard broke the cycle of shock and hatred with a new exclamation. "What are you doing here?"

Kolya grinned as he was dragged to the Gate. "Getting on the right track, old friend."

Sheppard stepped forward, ready to put the bitch smack down, but a bracing hand from Ronon stopped him. Together, they watched as Kolya was literally kicked off the planet. It was a little satisfying, especially since he got kicked in the ass as he was so. "One of these day, I'm gonna shoot that man."

Teyla noted quietly, still watching their opponents near, "It would solve a great many problems if you'd do so."

Turning back to Shal, Shep grinned bitterly. "I hate that guy."

The tall blond nodded. "He hates you as well. You're lucky; I don't think he even hates me as much as he seems to do you." Turning and slowly walking away, Shal gestured for Sheppard to follow. "We'll find a conference room, and you can present your evidence."

"Evidence?" Sheppard questioned Teyla and Rodney.

Teyla answered his question as Rodney fumbled with something in his jacket, all of them following and being followed by, Shal and his men. "They wish for proof that we're telling the truth."

"I thought they wanted proof we weren't collaborators with Kolya?" Ronon asked, the first time he'd spoken all day. Ronon was a true exception to the rules; he was "Big and Lean", with none of the "Mean or Ugly". It was a delicious concoction.

"They did. Now they'd like proof that Elizabeth is who they've gotten." Teyla noted the anxiety on Sheppard's face, correctly assessing it as a sign that he'd not brought any "evidence". As it was, she'd thought ahead, and brought a little something.

The conference room was done in shades of green and brown (very military, which might explain why it seemed to soothe most of the men of the group). Shalimar gestured for the Atlantians to take a seat, and did so himself at the head of the table. A man with clear thoughts about power placement and it's subtle influences in life. Shal knew how to work his body and placement in surroundings.

Ronon did, as well, automatically taking a counter position to the man, standing behind Sheppard who deigned to take a seat with appropriate aplomb. Teyla merely sat graciously, smiling a bit as she took in the appreciative glances of several males. Rodney finally found what he'd been looking for and stepped forward to show Shalimar.

In Rodney's small (sweaty) (he gets anxious, you know?) hands was a wallet, and when opened, a long packet of photos fell out. Sheppard cocked his head as he watched Rodney start explaining to Shal the pictures.

"This is Elizabeth and I working on a new budget for the Research and Development section of Atlantis." Rodney pointed to another. "This is Sheppard threatening me with a lemon." Again, another. "This is Elizabeth threatening to ground Sheppard for threatening me with a lemon." Sheppard smiled, he remembered that day. "This is a group shot taken from Elizabeth's balcony right after a mission; it's got all of us." Rodney grinned as he pointed at another. "That's Ronon asleep at the cafeteria table; he's really not a morning person."

Sheppard looked vaguely irritated (and embarrassed) as he called out quietly, "Rodney?"

Rodney didn't hear. "This is one of Dr. Beckett; he's Elizabeth's and all of Atlantis's main physician. This was taken right after Elizabeth shot Ronon and tried to kill Sheppard, he was a little stressed." Shalimar looked decidedly amused. "This is one of me when Cadman, Beckett's girlfriend, was trapped inside my mind during a freak Wraith harvester accident. Ignore the limp hand and curly hair, she was playing with me."

"Rodney?"

"This is one of Zelenka, right after he got back from the planet of children. See all the colors and the ponytails?"

Gordy grimaced. "We've been to that planet." He was still washing the mud out of his ears. Damn kids and their mud fights.

Rodney grinned. "We send Radek every chance we get. Keeps him humble."

Teyla snorted indelicately, drawing a quirked eyebrow from Ronon, who also was amused.

"RODNEY?!" John shouted, leaning across the table so he could shout right near Dr. McKay.

"What?"

"Why do you carry photos of us in your wallet?"

He was silent. He looked at everywhere but at his friends. Finally, he shrugged and gave the old lie a try. "For situations like these."

"Why do you carry a wallet at all? Do you think one of these planets will take MasterCard?" John replied with his usual liberal sarcasm serving.

"Well, no!" Rodney replied smartly, placing his wallet back in his jacket and standing stiffly. "I suppose it's a habit."

John sighed and smacked himself in the head in exasperation. He wished he had a lemon.

In the silence that followed, lit only by Ronon and Shal's brief sharing an amused look, Teyla leaned forward and placed a small recording device on the center of the table. When everyone looked at her blankly, she explained. "It's a tape of Elizabeth during one of her tours of my village. We'd been intending to send it to Stargate Command, but I thought it'd be of good use here."

Teyla was nothing if not a smart woman. And a good warrior. And one SMOKING HOT MAMMA.

John added that last part for his own viewing.

The tape, for the most part, was boring. It was Elizabeth, clearly recognized here as Shal's own Beth, walking through a village and greeting people. She pointed out several specific buildings, laughed at a couple jokes told to her by the camera man, introduced people, and generally talked about the progress they were making at expanding the expedition. It was all very clinical and boring.

Finally, Shal told Teyla to shut it off.

He looked at Gordy, and saw the same wordless thoughts there that he himself found in his own mind. It was part dismay, part sadness, and part happiness. It was an odd mixture of accepting of what was to come and part hope that she'd finally regain some of herself.

Shal, begrudging, nodded to the group across from him. "I think we know someone you're looking for."