Disclaimer: I do not own any of Disney's delicious, piratey, super-duper awesome characters. When will the corporation fall and the obsessed fans reign supreme? (receives a letter from Disney, promptly opens it and reads) Aw, what a darling Mickey Mouse letterhead! Let me see here…Disney says it will never happen because they are solely responsible for Jack's physical safety. Darn.
Author's Note: Gather round, readers and writers! Gather round and grab a mug o' rum! A toast to you, lovely reviewers…without you, this story would not have sprung to life like it did. These 30 chapters of pure mayhem have been so much fun to write, and they wouldn't nearly have been as fun without you all. May the gallantry of Will Turner, sweet generosity of Anastasia Walker, the self-confidence of June Oleander and the wits of Captain Jack Sparrow be instilled in your hearts always!
(Downs the rum and instantly sputters) Phew…on with the show!
His thumb lightly smoothed over the edge of his mustache as he took comfort in the repetitive action. The coarse, bristly hairs scratched at his skin. He figured it would have hurt, had the pads of his fingers not been so callused.
Jack's eyes, dark and stormy, darted back and forth between Mister Kade Norrington and his woman. The man stood undeniably too close to her bedside. Every once in a while, when June's face was lit with laughter, he'd lay a strong hand on top of her own.
Yes, they had used to be acquaintances; they needed time to catch up, all that nonsense. But June had not hesitated to wave Jack out of the room like he was nothing but an annoying little boy.
All the more reason to strengthen his own convictions.
A scuffle of shoes caused Jack to glance up at the retreating man. Kade's eyes locked onto his as Kade said stiffly, "Mind if I have a word with you, Captain…Sparrow?"
Jack replied, "Mind? I certainly do not notmind."
Kade blinked a couple of times at his answer before saying gruffly, "Not in front of the lady, please." He promptly shut the door behind him and straightened the collar of his starched shirt.
"She is no lady, I'll remind…" The words promptly died in his throat as Kade threw him against the far wall with astounding strength. A doorknob was shoved into the small of Jack's back, causing him to yelp in surprise.
"I should kill you, you bastard," Kade growled, his expression furious. His white teeth bared in a snarl.
"And what crime, exactly, have I committed?" Jack questioned in a bored tone.
"You have done your best to try and ruin her, haven't you? You couldn't keep your filthy hands off of her and now she almost died because of it!"
"Pardon me, Kade, but she managed to turn pirate before she ever sashayed into me life." Jack shoved the man off of him and fought to keep his internal violent urges in check. He mockingly added, "The job was done for me."
Kade fumed, his broad shoulders trembling with the desire to hit the smirking pirate in front of him. "I am taking her home. She is going to get a second chance."
"A second chance at what? The exact same thing she ran from?"
Kade stepped up to the pirate captain, silently sizing him up. "She ran from nothing. She just made a foolish mistake. We all make them." He paused. "She's a wonderful woman..."
"A devil siren," Jack interrupted.
"She's a better woman than you give her credit for," Kade finished coldly. "She deserves a second chance to rebuild her esteem within society. We will wash her of the foul deeds she committed."
Jack immediately pictured June in a large tub of water, with Kade running a moist cloth across her sinewy torso. His fists tightened in hatred for the man.
"You don't know what you're sayin'," Jack responded in a low voice, his hand tightening on the hilt of his sword. "You're a blind man."
"Quite the contrary, Mister Sparrow. I clearly recognize her chance at redemption, just as I clearly recognize your miserable excuse of an existence."
The sword was immediately drawn and placed at Kade's throat. Before Jack could even think about cutting him, two pairs of arms dragged him away. Glancing wildly behind him, Jack realized it was James Norrington and Will Turner. A bewildered Anastasia watched on.
"It's a shame you never got to hang him, brother," Kade said calmly, massaging his throat, "The world would be a much better place without him."
Jack furiously shrugged the two men off and began gathering his effects.
"Jack," Anastasia cried, "What is wrong with you? Attacking Mister Norrington like that!"
"Turner, Miss Ana…come wit' me," Jack demanded, shoving his worn tricorne hat onto his skull. They both followed him into a corner opposite of the Norrington men, watching his every move curiously.
"Explain yourself, Jack," Will ordered, looking entirely too cross for his own good.
"You both need to come wit' me. I'm goin' after the treasure."
"But…Jack, June cannot go with you," Anastasia said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder, "You know that."
"Precisely. I'm finishing the hunt alone. If you two choose to help me, I'll give you each ten percent of the profits."
Neither spoke for quite a long time.
"Well?!" Jack sputtered impatiently.
"How can you think of doing such a thing?" Ana whispered, utterly horrified by his actions. "She…she cares for you."
"It's her map!" Will reminded him.
"Trifles. It all works out in the end, really. This…game of infatuation needs to stop. The map has time and time again fallen into my possession." He grinned. "How can I pass that up, right?"
"If you want to leave, Sparrow. Just leave. Now," Will said quietly.
"I'll take that as a 'no' from you. Anastasia?" He peered down at the young woman anxiously. She wouldn't even meet his eyes.
"Fine. Don't say I didn't ask. Ta!" He turned on his heels and began making his way down the stairs.
"She'll never forgive you for this!" Anastasia called down to him, clearly upset.
Clasping the faded map in the front pocket of his coat, Captain Jack Sparrow didn't even bother to turn around. "I know."
A week later…
Her hands gripped the back of a chair as Anastasia nimbly buttoned each button of the light cotton dress. The dull cream color did nothing to enhance June's features that had paled from injury.
"A few hundred more to go," Anastasia joked half-heartedly, concentrating on the task at hand. "At least you don't have to wear a corset…you sure got off easy because of your surgery."
"And I'd much prefer the surgery over wearing a corset any day of the week," June laughed, "Christ. I might as well just rip the damn dress off at the end of the day. I'm not wasting my time with those damn buttons."
"You'll have someone to help you. There…I'm done." Anastasia stepped away and admired her handiwork.
June groaned as she turned around. "Will someone be helpin' me wit' the chamber pot, too?"
"Your accent," Anastasia said with a smile. "It comes back when you're all riled up."
"I have a right to be riled up, dearie. It's not every day I go back home to see my father after a stretch of…hmmm...about nine years." June rested solidly on the desk behind her, studying her good friend. "Someone sure has a certain glow about her this morning."
Ana blushed and studied herself in the mirror. Beginning to comb her hair with her fingers, she chose to ignore June's statement.
"Have you been exchangin' a bit o' spit wit' Mister Turner?"
"June!"
"I thought so. I've known you two were sharin' a room. What I didn't know was that it was gettin' so heated! So…tell all! You strip him naked yet?"
"June, please. We have some amount of decency. It's not like when you and Jack…"
The mood of the room instantly thickened. June's face was wiped clean of the teasing smile she possessed only moments ago.
"Oh, June," Ana murmured sympathetically, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to…"
June held up a hand, hiding her face from view as she glanced out the window. "Don't." Taking a few solid breaths, she added, "Are we ready to head to the dock? I believe I'm ready."
"Will will be here…"
"Speak no further." Will Turner replied as he and James Norrington entered the room. "Kade said that the ship is ready."
"Shall I escort you, milady?" James said with a mockingly gallant bow.
"James, stop being such a stuffy idiot," June chided, grabbing his bicep. She needed to rely on some of his strength during their travels, even though she didn't want to admit it.
Ana grasped Will's hand and breathed, "Finally. We'll be going home at last."
June glanced up at her friends, new and old. She immediately felt something within her struggle to remain the same during a world that demanded so much and so little of its occupants. As they left that aged, creaky inn in Barcelona, she looked over her shoulder and felt like a piece of her had stayed behind.
When she woke up from a fitful sleep a few nights back, she already knew a part of her was lost forever. Only when Anastasia brokenly told her of Sparrow's flight did she truly understand it.
The ship came into view, and a renewed sense of dread settled over her. Would she have to abandon everything she had learned those past nine years? Would she have to settle back into the daily ritual of ignorance and naiveté? June felt the cold, golden buttons along Commodore Norrington's sleeve and brought herself back to the present.
As if sensing her hesitation, James asked, "My dear, are you quite alright?"
Staring him straight in the eye, June Oleander answered, "This better fucking be worth it."
Check out my other fics that I'm trying to finish as well. There's "Trade with the Devil" and "A Little Too Much Rum."
Here are some other fics that are absolutely fantastic. Take a gander:
"Peacock's Plumage" by piewacket. Anything by piewacket is incredible.
"PH3: Vicki and Rachel Choke a Bitch" by CharlieBlackNails. Her accomplice is LeananSidhe. Very funny writers. Check out the first two in the series, too.
"How to Tame the Untamable" by The DuTchess of Doom. She really gives a pirate woman some sass!
Keep on the look out for a sequel. It's been a pleasure!
-PineAppleLint
Reviews for Reviews:
The DuTchess of Doom: The gentleman and the pirate, indeed. Looks like the pirate won. But that was to be expected, I suppose. There will be interesting developments in the sequel, though! Mark my words!
Thanks for being such an awesome reviewer, Angie. Your cyber review hugs from Holland are the best cyber review hugs around! If you ever need any help with How to Tame the Untamable, just let me know. It's going great so far…you truly have a talent!
Mandy: I am honored, luv. Honestly. I am honest about not being dishonest in my honesty. Yay sequels! They warm my soul, as do your reviews. Thanks so much!
Vixter: Thank you for the compliments! I will try to produce the sequel as fast as I can!
Jamsey: Isn't Jack's ego just hilarious? Trust June to flatten it a little, especially in the sequel. (cackles evilly) We'll see about June and Norrington, won't we?
SparrowMuse: Oh, huzzah to waking your neighbors! That's exactly the reaction I was going for, dearie. And you read piewacket's stuff too! Good stuff! She's amazing with diction, don't you agree?
Emma: I'm glad you found this story out of the pirates pile! And you liking it is even better. I'm glad you like Will and Ana's relationship…they are certainly a cute pair.
Queso Blanco: Indeed, sequels! I can't leave it hanging like that, can I? That would be extraordinarily evil, and I can't have that.
Felicitousmomento: Thanks for being such a wonderful reviewer, luv! It's greatly appreciated.
CharlieBlackNails: Ha! You're so funny. I giggled like a silly scone when I read your review. If scones could giggle, I would be giggling like one. Hot Ana-and-Will-finally-DOING IT action? We shall see, won't we? I am planning to mature the sequel a bit, so we shall see!
Brunette-lady23: Thank you so much! It's been fun getting to ready your heartfelt reviews. I really appreciate it!
Black Wolf-Dog: I totally agree with you. I'm starting to think that the prim and proper Commodore is a sultry minx, but you are right: No one can compare to the sauciness that is Captain Jack Sparrow.
Pirate Gyrl: Jack IS such a boob! But the mixture of ego, wits and handsome chivalry is what we love about him. The semester is over, but summer classes prevail! It's going to be a busy one, but I will definitely try to update more frequently from now on. Thanks for being such a wonderful reviewer-I always love hearing from you!
Anastasia Walker: Yay! I'm a minx! We're going to have a POTC 3 party, woohoo! Can't wait for May 24th!
Senatorsarah: Someone has to torture Jack, whether it be me as the writer or June as his sultry nemesis. He needs that ego deflated every now and then. Hey, do you want to be a senator? I always wondered that about your penname. That would be neato. You could pass piratey bills in Congress.
Deathly Nightshade: Haha, that's very nice of you! If pirates come after me, will they be sexy pirates? Like a Sparrow pirate? (winks) Thanks for being such a consistent reviewer. I've really enjoyed receiving them. I'll be seeing you at the sequel!
Sparrow's strumpet: I apologize you had such a bad day, and I'm sorry to hear that! It's a good thing I updated when I did! As for incorporating these stories with the movies, I'll have to really think that one out. I would definitely like to see some of the Davy Jones' story incorporated, or perhaps more on Jack's past with the East India Trading Company. Thanks for the idea, and for being such a wonderful reviewer. You're so helpful!
Orlyluv: Yay! I'm glad you found it humorous. That's probably why I liked writing this story the best. I can make the characters as maniacal as possible. I've enjoyed reading all your reviews, luv!
HavingSaidThat: Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it. I'll be seeing you at the start of the sequel, and don't be afraid to give me any valuable criticism!
I'll see you in Zurich: Ana and Will action steam up my laptop screen. Whew! Haha, I expect more of that in the sequel. Thanks for the review!
Padme4000: I appreciate your reviews, dearie. Thanks for them all-they warm my heart!
Wanderer of the Roads: Yay, falling out of chairs! That's always fun. What if there were a thousand Norringtons and they made a Norrington army? Kinda freaky! Thanks for being such an avid reviewer!
SparrowsVixon: Laugh Out Loudness is the best. Thanks for reviewing and following this story…I hope I'll be seeing you at the sequel!
Depp's darlin: Thanks for reviewing, dearie! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it (which was quite a bit, I assure you).
Shiori-inu-kawaiipet: Anastasia is a lovely name! Drinks all around! Thanks for reading!
Edie'sGarage: You are a lovely reviewer! I appreciate your review from the bottom o' me scurvy heart.
To anyone else I have forgotten, thanks very much!
