-Hyrule-
The PMS Gwyllgi laughed also, though rather sadistically.
Suddenly Zelda screamed. "GANON!! YOU KILLED GANON!! NUUUZ!! NOW THE TATTOO ON MY ASS IS OF A DEAD PERSON!!"
"Wow, Zelda, slow reaction." Link muttered.
-Grado-
Of course, then the weight demanded its paycheck from Soren.
Soren tried reasoning. "Look, isn't hitting carrothead a prize in itself?"
Riane grabbed Lucian and buried her face in his feathers. "Mom. Clothes. Now. You're traumatizing me." Leon was scarred for life and shaking. Eirika grudgingly put on clothes. "But I LIKED being a semi-nude warrior woman!" Leon recovered and hugged Snuffles for emotional support. A baby bael tripped over its many legs while a baby gorgon tied itself in a knot, and the two monster infants burst into tears, breaking the silence. "Alright, everyone, it's night time, go inside and SLEEP. That means Roxas and Namine are not allowed in the same bedroom. Or you and Eirika." Knoll said, grabbing the sneaky lilac-haired prince, who had started inching towards his bedroom. Lucian looked back over his shoulder and smiled. "Riane, you can look up now... I like your hair, by the way."
"Mmm. Thanks, Lucian."That's when Riane noticed her scarred brother. "Oh...oh no. Leon? Are you gonna be alright?" Leon ran over to his sister and burst into tears. "Mom is a s-stripper, isn't she?" He wailed dejectedly. "Does that m-mean Tethys is my... my a-aunt?"
"Hell no! I'm no strippa, and I ain't related to Tethys!" Eirika snorted. The random writer burst into tears at her horrible language skills. "But she IS related to Moulder." Which explained everything. Franz shuddered. Ewan started yelling "THANK GOD I'M AN ORPHAN!! SHE'S NOT MY REAL SISTER!!!" And did the chicken dance to celebrate. Lucian still hadn't looked away from Raine's hair. "That black braid... how did that happen? May I...?" He asked enquiringly, reaching out gently to touch the dark strand.
-Hyrule-
The Gwyllgi rolled her eyes. Talk about.
Zelda uselessly tried doing mouth-to-mouth with the shredded Ganon. Then she stood up, her eyes misty in a romantically tragic way. "Goodbye, cruel world. I will not surrender to thy foul wishes and forever have the inken likeness of my dead lover traced upon my bum." She said softly, seriously, and then turned and sprinted towards Dodongo Cavern to throw herself in the magma. Unfortunately for her, she was stopped by a bearded man and his huge boat, which had all the monsters of Hyrule in it in pairs. He stared at her wildly. "A flood's a comin'! We'll all be chibified pixel people, and YOU, my dear, will be a sexy pirate who falls in love with a purple-clad sorcerer! Now get on the boat!!" He laughed wildly as rain began to fall. Zelda's eyes widened. Yes, this was her destiny! VAATI WAS HER DESTINY!! She ran on to the boat.
-Grado-
The weight thought for a moment, then dropped itself on Seth again before leaving, satisfied. "Yesss!" Soren smiled happily. Vaati froze. A vision swept before him... a blonde girl... with a red kerchief... and a sexy rear... The vision was over in a moment, and he shook his head to clear it. At that moment, Sindriss marched into Grado. "My t.v.'sss broken, and American Idol'sss on tonight!" He whined. "Can't we all jussst be friendsss and forget that I tried to kill you, and you ssshare your t.v.?" He asked hopefully.
"Go ahead," Riane said, stroking Leon's hair to comfort him. "There are some...rumors...about it."
Leon smiled and wiggled happily at his sister's attention. Eirika happily yelled about wanting to buy a coconut or seashell bra, and Tana jumped up and down and screamed about "OMGIWANTONETOOXDILIKEHORSIES!!"
"...What kind of rumors?" Lucian asked interestedly, his dark wings fading away from exsistence until he (or Riane) needed them again. Lyon wavered back and forth. Dang! Should he A) Comfort Leon B) Support his wife about buying hot new articles of clothing to wear around him or C) Tell off the kid who was OBVIOUSLY crushing on his daughter? Decisions, decisions... his heart decided for A) his body chose B) and his soul picked C), resulting in him performing an odd dance-like movement before tripping and falling down.
-Hyrule-
The Gwyllgi trotted on after, in no hurry but eager to keep its hide. Link ran over and begged to know what he would look like. The bearded man frowned. "You will be a chibi, and many people will laugh and say you look ridiculous cel-shaded. Few will buy your game. Your sister will be abducted by a large bird. Ganon will return in a sexy bathrobe-like piece of clothing with two blades and attempt to smite you. Any MORE stupid questions?"
"Duh... will there be hot chicks?" The old man cracked Link over the head and chucked him on the ark, and it started to float away.
-Grado-
"No!" Riane yelled at it from across the keep. "But Sindrisss WANTSSS!!" The dragon screamed angrily and nearly set Kairi on fire. Which made Sora go into master form. The drake had one second to admire the pretty colors of the boy's outfit before he was pounded into next week.
-Hyrule-
And there was flooding all over Hyrule.This did not, however, affect anyone of note, save Lute. A screaming Dingledorf clung to the log they were floating on. Artur and Lute floated along happily, enjoying the scenery-floating cows, screaming monsters, and the Zoras yelling "OUR DAY HAS COME!!" and playing hot rock 'n' roll music on their fishy guitars. "You know, Artur..." Lute said, leaning back against him. "We might need to repopulate this whole country." Artur made a happy un-chaste reply. The scene was quickly censored.
Indeed, although it may be noted that Dingle thought they were killing each other and random Zora males cheered for Artur. Until this scene stops in roughly an hour, we'll go back to our other Hylian friends...
"I'm not an ostrich!!" Link screamed from the pen the gwyllgi had shut him in.
-Grado-
Sora dropped out of Master Form, instead opting for Final form for when Sindriss returned. But for now, he just made sure Kairi was alright.
Nicole, meanwhile, stumbled in. She hiccuped and waved her hand through the air. "Curse... you... and -hic- your... sexy body... and good... rum...-hic-Jack Sparrow!!" Before falling on her face.
"Well...they say a demon reached out from beyond and tainted that spot on my head...or something like that." She continued to pet Leon's hair, smiling.
Lucian smiled strangely at that, and stopped stroking Riane's braid for a moment. "Don't worry... I'll protect you from any demons that try to hurt you." Leon slipped to the ground, fast asleep, at all this mushy talk. Ephraim tried pole-vaulting with his spear, which sadly nearly impaled him. Lyon attempted to get up, but a screaming gorgon fangirl knocked him down again. He stared fearfully at her. "I remember you!! Noooo!!" The gorgon kissed him smack on the cheek. Eirika stopped ranting, and a red, fiery aura appeared around her. "Get... away... from... my Lyon-san... right... now..." She growled, low and dangerous. But the gorgon burned before it could move. Alas, alack, well not really.
-Grado-
"...Oooo-kaaaay..." Sora floated away slowly.
Nicole made drunken noises until her grandma hauled her away. Vaati, meanwhile, meandered over to a portal back to Hyrule, and gasped at what he saw... which was all the minish floating along on a row boat/minish hotel and screaming "THE HUMANS ARE DEAD!! YAYYY!!" ...Well, okay, that was ONE thing that caught his attention, but the main interest of the scene was not the minish OR the flickering censored square on the log. It was the boat floating towards him, and on it stood the girl of his dreams... the animate love potion thanked God. Maybe now it could get the shampoo bottle back!!
"Aww...thanks, Lucian. Really." Riane smiled. "...Great. Now I have to move Leon before someone trips over him."Meanwhile, a cricket yelled and swore at Ephraim for almost crushing it, but it came out as a bunch of chirps.
The cricket just happened to be named Jiminy, and Jesus, he hated Sora for making him write down all this stupidity.
"Oh, I'll carry him..." Lucian said, and knelt down to pick up the tired mini-mage. As he reached towards him, however, the black strand in Riane's hair seemed to glow almost fiercely, and Leon screamed, the noise piercing the air and silencing everyone, then started shaking, his face gong deathly pale. Lucian swore and drew back, and Leon stopped writhing, color returning to his skin. "Leon? LEON!" Lyon shot forward over the ground and fell to his knees. "Are you alright?!" Leon blinked a few times, then started to sit up, but his father made him lay down again. "Just… a bad dream… I can't remember what It was about…"
-Hyrule-
But the Gwyllgi just chortled and ran off to find Fluffy--or, better yet, a male Gwyllgi. The male gwyllgi was found, and another part of Link's world was censored. "Damn, I don't know where to look!" Link shrieked as censored bubbles emerged around the other animal pens. A female ostrich approached Link, and he howled in anguish. "NOOOOO!!" And Link himself was censored. Ah, yes, censored images! Let's go find some more!!
-Teh World of Baten Kaitos-
Xelha chewed her nails. Kalas or Lyude? Kalas or Lyude? Kalas or-"GIBARI!!" Screamed the oar-wielding fighter. Xelha gave him a condescending look, and he slunk away. Then she snapped her fingers. If she moved to Texas, she could have them BOTH!! Because ANYTHING is possible in TEXAS!! Lyude, who was once again attempting to shoot Kalas because he thought he was an Imperial spy, had only a second to see apporoaching doom before the pink-wearing blonde glomped him and Kalas, and this was censored, because glomping isn't allowed on PG-TV. Gibari tried hitting on Sylvia, who gave him the Evil Lady Death Glare (TM).
-Teh Pikmin World-
The white pikmin, whose name was pinkpetalZ, finally caught her purple boyfriend, who was very afraid of her in a loving kind of way. Olimar screamed "Nuuuz, this is an E rated game!!" But it was to late. Their many cuddly seeded offspring ran around happily until they were mauled by a bulborb. Go figure. The new parents demanded Olimar restart the level. "Why? We only lost three pikmin! It's no big deal…" pinkpetalZ fed him to a bulborb and reset the level herself.
But anyway, back to Hyrule...
The large ark finally crashed against an island, where everyone was celebrating because Anju the cucoo lady had flown them all away from certain death under the water. A dragon-shaped boat floated over. "Zelda, I AM YOUR FATHER!!" The pirate princess screamed. "NOOO!! I REFUSE TO HAVE A VEHICLE FOR A FATHER!!"
-Grado-
Alas, the shampoo bottle had committed suicide earlier. The animate love potion followed suit. Alas, alack, their brand names had been Romeo Wigs Inc. and Juliet Hair Stylers, Co. Go figure.
