And that, good people is why Vexen made the Riku Replica--to smite glomping Gorgons. The Replica came, and the Gorgon was smite'd.
The gorgon then overpowered the Riku replica, who was a sandwich-making wussie. The terrified fangirl quickly did mouth to mouth with Knoll to revive him, which worked, but not for the right reason...
"Help meeeee!!" Knoll hollered as the gorgon took off his shoes. "Cute toesss!! Kawaii!! 3!" The gorgon nibbled Knoll's poor toes, which tickled like crazy, and then licked his face. She then hugged him, rested her head against his chest, and rubbed his belly, purring with her eyes closed and smiling blissfully.
"Now bessst part... I make you NEKKID!!" The gorgon cackled insanely.
"And then guesssss what we do? 3 3 3 3 3!!! WE MAKE BABIES!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS, 3 3 3 3 3!!!!"
"O-okay, let's try a-another approach... Don't d-do this... P-please?"
"Hmm... nope. XD! 3 3 3 3 3!!!"
Knoll's terrified expression would've been pretty damn funny, if the glomping-gorgon hadn't been dead serious. He thrashed against the straps.
"I CAN'T BE A NUN IF I'M NOT A VIRGIN!! NOOOOO!!"
She patted her captive's sparkly purple hair reassuringly.
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle, oh yesss I will!! 3 3 3 3 3!!!"
Then the gorgon gleefully pulled off his robes, reducing him to a tunic and pants, and then started tugging off his shirt.
Wait a minute... you're a spell caster, idiot! Knoll's mind screamed and slapped him out of his paralyzed fear.
"Uh, I've changed my mind, but it'll be hard to do... uh... it... here, so just get me off the table first, okay?"
"Really!?! OMGZ!! 3 3 3 3 3!!"
2.5 milliseconds after the glomping-gorgon released Knoll, he reduced her to a pile of smoldering ashes.
-Grado-
"Hippie smiting!" Riane looked up, intrigued. "Dad, can I? Pleeeease?"
"You know I don't like violence, Ria-" Lyon was completely ignored as Eirika and Lucian happily charged the hippies. Lyon wondered vaguely where emo-boy had gone.
"YAY!" Riane rushed forward to join the hippie-smiting goodness.
-Hyrule-
And the monsters ate Link with a nice Roku Sauce. (don't ask) The plot writers needed a new hero, and they nominated young Link, who was slightly saner.
However, with each of Vaati's tasks was an unforeseen complication.Knoll was being held captive by hippies.All KH2 and KH games didn't work properly while Sora was not where he belonged--and indeed, he wasn't.And Link had been eaten earlier.
"YOU DON'T LOVE MEEE!!" Zelda wailed as Vaati said he couldn't do what she asked. "No, muffin, I love you!" Vaati cried. Cupid tried to reshoot them with arrows, but Pit came and shot them first... with a superscope. Innes smiled sadistically. Ah, love. Ah, yes. Zelda and Vaati 'lovingly' clobbered Pit, who was a girly-looking pretty boy... of course, so was Vaati...
Young Link, then, took center stage and became famous.
...That is, until Random Goron Baby 1 decided he was the new hero. The underwear-sporting fatso pushed Link down and sat on him. "I AM BINK!! I NEW HERO!!" The goron roared. "Bink suck thumb now." And Bink did. Bink was then chased off by three other Young Links, courtesy of the Four Sword. Young Zelda cackled. "NOW I HAVE A LINK TO MATCH MY FURNITURE!!" She squealed and hugged Red Link. This caused Red Link to smile like so: 3The rest of the Links planned a mutiny.-teh Hippie Lab-
The poor Riku Replica sobbed into the floor. "Why? Why? Why can't I do anything right?"
Knoll was too traumatized to respond, and sat on the floor staring blankly at the wall, blinking repeatedly. Then he whipped around. "YOU USELESS-! YOU-! YOU WERE GONNA LET HER-!" Knoll couldn't finish and burst into tears. Lyon walked in, eating a muffin. "Munch... um, hi, did I miss anything? Oh! Knoll, you don't look so good... is something wrong?" Lyon asked worriedly. Knoll got a very evil look on his face. "Hello, cousin! Funny how you weren't here when I NEEDED you, but show up RIGHT AFTER..." Knoll hissed. Lyon gulped. "Nuuuz! Don't strangle pretty boy!" A random mew that just happened to be named ADP yelled. The Riku Replica ceased wailing. What was this madness? ...Whatever it was, it was only about to get worse. "Trouble with a g-gorgon, oh? But it's f-fine now, so no need to get a-angry..." Lyon raised his hands and started to back away, then utterly lost it and turned to run. Knoll howled and tackled his cousin. "YOU ABANDONED ME!! AFTER ALL THE TIMES I STOPPED INNES FROM STEALING YOUR LUNCH MONEY WHEN WE WERE LITTLE!!" Knoll ranted to his squished relative, who made a 'meep' noise. Soren walked in and said casually to the Riku clone "The hippies are unleashing the skunks now, so we might want to get leaving."
-Hyrule-
Innes decided to record it for YouTube. It was a smash hit... That is, until Bowser heard about it.
"MWHAHAHA!! This is the perfect opportunity to cause chaos! You, mini-me, shall go win Zelda's heart, and then we shall take over the world!!" Bowser Jr. glared at his father. "Please, dad, she's twice as tall as me." Bowser's only response was to chuck his son out of the koopacopter and towards Vaati and Zelda.
Artur stared in horror at the zombified shampoo bottle. "Lute! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Lute looked up from her book of spells. "Oh, simple, really. I wanted to try being a summoner, and this is the servant I conjured." She waved in the redead shampoo's general direction. Vaati felt utterly rejected. So he turned Red Link to stone, which caused Zelda to go berserk.
-Somewhere-
"Your son seems reeeal concerned about how he'll die soon if he doesn't find that Golden Gopher... err, Golden Sun thingy... soon." Nicole blabbered. Fomortiis was to busy watching a Youtube video of Zelda and Vaati to respond. "Sindriss! Get me down, and I'll hook you up with a reaaally cute girl dragon!" Nicole whispered to the drake, who was chasing his tail. His ears perked up. "Oh... okayz!" Poor, poor Myrrh. She was oblivious to the matchmaker schemes of Nicole. Not for long, though. "Sindriss, meet Myrrh. Have fun. BEHAVE." Sindriss drooled and stared at the gold and green dragon, who was completely oblivious to the schemer's presence... At least, until Sindriss lovingly tackled her.
-Hyrule-
The shampoo bottle moaned, much like a zombie. "Urrrr...braaaains..." Lute smiled. "It's cute! Like a revenant!" Artur banged his head against the wall.
-Grado-
"Good idea." The replica gladly followed Soren out.Meanwhile, Riane just happened to trot by and drag Knoll away by the ear, also keen on avoiding the skunks. Lyon scurried after, sighing in relief. The hippies, however, were not happy to let their prisoners go. "Fire the love torpedos, MAN!" Yelled the hippie leader. "Hey Dad," Riane said nonchalantly as she noticed Lyon following.-Hyrule-Innes cackled. Prime YouTube footage, baby!
-Hyrule-
Bowser Jr. dropped out of the sky like... a turtle. He crashed into Zelda, who was wailing about Vaati not loving her. "Yo, wench, you gotta marry me!" The snide reptile said. A random hippie walked by and tried to inhale a Toad, because it looked like a mushroom.
Zelda ignored him and smacked Vaati over the head with a petrified wombat, and he ran crying to hide behind some cute Ruto prince, who was tackled by Medli, thus revealing Vaati's position.
-Grado-
"Thanks, Riane." The hippie torpedoes of love (which showered everyone with heart-shaped confetti) were ignored, and everyone trotted back to Grado. It was officially night time, and everyone finally headed to their rooms, although Keiri had to be pulled off of Sora, who she was glomping. Lucian and Riane, however, stayed behind a few moments longer then everyone else. He turned towards her. "Well, good night, Riane..." He turned and stepped towards the door, but then suddenly stiffened. "What... no... it's only been... one day!" Lucian cried weakly, than collapsed to the ground.
-Weyard-
Alex made muffled noises from behind his gag. He was tied to a chair, completely subdued after a failed attempt to use 'BUBBLE, LEVEL 1!!' to defeat Isaac and company. Jenna grinned crazily. "Because of you, we almost died several times. AND I broke more then a few nails when we were climbing all over this goddanged planet to stop you. So now guess what we're gonna do to you?" Alex whimpered as Sheba, also smiling evilly, stepped forward with a bundle of pink clothes, manicure items, and cosmetics.
-Somewhere-
"EEEEEE! Get OFF!" Myrrh shoved Sindriss roughly to the side, growling.
"But I isss madly in love with yooou!" Sindriss howled mournfully. He got a face-full of fire for his devotion.
-Hyrule-
"Eeeeeppp!" Artur yelled in a very manly manner as Lute conjured up another zombie, this one of older Link. Then she started to summon a much stronger entity. "NO, LUTE, NOOO!!" Artur screamed, but it was to late. The hideous apparition took on a solid form. It was purple and green, and had an overly large head. "I love you, you love me, were a happy family!" The dinosaur-like creature started to sing. Lute and Artur fled, for this was too powerful a foe for even the prodigy to control...
