Hyrule
The Japanese indeed burst into the old man's lab and rescued YL. "No!! He's MY rare specimen!!" The old man screeched, flailing about wildly with his cane until a dodongo bit it into pieces. He stared at the reptile, who whimpered. "A RAAARE SPECIMEN!!" Poor dodongo. The poor dodongo was thrown in Link's fish tank.
Zelda and Vaati, meanwhile, had their own problems. A bunch of little imps were dancing around the pair, who were tied to a stake in the middle of a pile of straw. Their leader was wearing a ridiculous mask and gibbering about 'THE MOON!! MY MOON!! MY EVIIIIIIL MOON!! MWHAHAHA!!' Vaati looked curiously at an imp that was advancing with a burning torch. "I say, what do you suppose he's going to do with that flame, Zelda-kins?"
Zelda rolled her eyes.
"Hm, let's see, we're tied up in the middle of a bunch of flamable material, and a half-naked savage is approaching with a fiery stick. What could it all possibly MEAN?!"
Vaati shrugged. "I dunno."
Somewhere
Nicole sat on top of all that remained of a smoldering skyscraper, tail curled around herself, purring with satisfaction at her triumph, and waited for what she'd been looking for to emerge. Then a flicker of movement caught her eye, and she twisted her head. A mage of about eighteen, dressed all in white, with long, slightly spiky hair of the same color drawn back into a ponytail, crawled out from beneath the rubble and collapsed, exhausted. Nicole grinned, knowing she'd caught her prize, climbed down from her perch and poked at the still body, which was covered in blood. The mage groaned, a pair of white wings emerging momentarily on his back before fading away again. "Hello, Raphael..." She whispered softly. The mage stirred again, and she flipped him onto his back with a talon and pinioned him gently. He opened his eyes, staring fearfully up at her, but then his terror gave way to hatred. "Kill me! Everyone else... they're all... My family... finish it!!" He said, spitting at her. She tilted her head. "But that would make it kinda hard to date you, if you were dead and all..."
"What...?"
"Yup. I murdered your parents, siblings, and an entire city of innocents so that you would be just like me!! Which means we were MADE for each other!! ...Literally, in your case."
"What-you... You monster!!" He struggled feebly to free himself, and Nicole bent down and licked her captive's face, making him draw back in disgusted horror, knowing she had him trapped and helpless.
"Ouch. Try 'sweetie-pie' instead. Now lie down and rest, and I'll heal you up when we get home. Then, it's romantic movie time!!"
Raphael snarled, then sunk weakly back to the ground and lost consciousness. Nicole carefully picked him up and was about to fly away when a gargoyle wearing a scarf, baggy pants, and one of those cool flat british hats flew over. "Hey hey hey, Nicole!! You're lova's here!!" He said, attempting to smooch her. She screamed angrily. "GO AWAY, GIRIK!!"
"HEY, WHO'S THAT DUDE?! He's ADVANCIN' on MY property!!" He attempted to kick the fainted Raphael, and Nicole barely managed to slap him away in time. "Yo, he's all covered in ketchup!! You're ditching me for a SLOB?!"
"THAT ISN'T KETCHUP!!"
Somewhere
Sora fell over laughing, then pulled out a cell. The next thing, Innes popped out to YouTube the brawl."But of course not, madam!" Sir Robert Albatross kissed Mia's hand.
Mia giggled retardedly. Flisk and Sindriss did the Matrix.
Grado
Riane slapped herself. "Eheh...well, now no one will think you're a girl..."
Lucian sputtered. "Wha-what?! Who thinks I'm a girl?! Oh, wait..."
Lyon suddenly caught on. "Oh... But Lucian wasn't on the ground crying! That was Lucius, a girly-guy from the FE game BEFORE Sacred Stones."
A random link fell out of the sky to further clear things up - http://img. screamed and pulled at his long blonde hair. "SHIT!! THEY MADE ME LOOK LIKE A GIRL IN MY OFFICIAL ART!!" Soren patted him on the back. "Me too, me too."
The Wise One got fed up of waiting for Lucian to come and get the Golden Sun and dropped it on his head. Fomortiis, forgotten somewhere in the background, suddenly snapped back to normal, decided to try to kill Lyon, realized that his last two attempts hadn't gone so well, and slunk off to watch the Sindriss V.S. Flisk fight instead.
Somewhere
While Sir Robert Albatross and Mia were flirting in the background, Sora cheered and equipped Matrix garb, thus making him look very sexy indeed. Maybe a little TOO sexy. Hordes of fangirls starting sneaking ominously closer, Kairi at their front. Even Sindriss was caught staring at him before he remembered he was a dude, and the dragon slapped himself.
Grado
Riane blinked and looked up at the Golden Sun. "Isn't that putting to waste every and all scraps of drama scattered throughout this thing?" The Wise One screamed PMS-ly. "THEN YOU SHOULD'VE HAULED ASS TO WEYARD FASTER!!"
Lucian, in the background, stared fascinated at a strange machine he had just purchased from a hippie. It said "Instant Agefier" on the side. He cheered mentally. Now he could turn himself and Riane eighteen and start dating! He crawled into the box and pulled a switch, and there was a puff of smoke and a horrible screeching noise. Two seconds later a baby Lucian toppled out of the box. The diapered swordmaster blinked and then started to cry, shaking his rattle, his one pointy tooth sticking out at an odd angle.
Hyrule
Link, who had somehow turned himself into a non-zombie, stood on a rather obese donkey at one edge of a bridge hanging over a very deep void. A very fat goblin-thing with a kid tied to the shaft of his spear was on the other side, sitting on a sexy war-warthog. The two fighters screamed and galloped towards each other, and Link was totally pwned. Luckily, he mysteriously floated back up the the safety of the bridge... again. "WHOOO!! THAT'S SO AWESOME!! IT'S LIKE SKYDIVING, BUT BETTER!!" Link blithered as an invisible force hauled him up from the pit. Ezlo became extremely pissed at Link's continued failures, grabbed a Wii controller, and thus possessed him. He made Link shoot the retreating pig in the butt with bomb arrows, making it fall off the side of the bridge. Link cheered, then froze. "OH GODDESSESS THE KID!!!"
Felix, who had a thing for jumping off tall places to rescue innocent children, dove after the screaming boy. When he finally caught up to him, the child asked "Great. Now how do we get up again?" Felix blinked. "OH CRAP." And then proceeded to scream like a woman.
Somewhere
"What the friggin' mother is that?" Nicole shrieked. She wanted to get home and snuggle with her prisoner, who she would dress in a sexy, temptingly revealing open leather jacket and loose silk pants... all in black, of course... White and innocent was SOOO yesterday... 3
Raphael woke up again, and weakly writhed against his captor's hold. She rubbed her head against him, purring affectionately. "Now, whadya want? So WHAT if I burned down some skyscraper? I've never even HEARD of that battle!!"
Girik stuck his flat face very close to the Org. XIII member. "She's MY girl, mine, oh yah, you're scared now!!" He said, holding up his fists and making aggressive movements before he tripped over his own tail and fell unceremoniously on his face.
Hyrule
Fortunately for Felix, his sister appeared at the top of the bridge with a thirty-mile-long rope and the Lash Pebble.
In the background, Link was run over by a herd of stampeding cucoos...
"I am a Nobody. Not into relationships. Ma'am, I'll have to either fine you, or summon both Roxas AND Riku to utterly whoop your ass."
Somewhere
Girik screamed like a woman and fell over again like a dipstick. Nicole nonchalantly stroked Raphael's hair, and the poor mage shuddered at her touch.
"Oh yah? Just try! I know for a FACT that Riku and Sora are preoccupied right now!!"
Behind a nearby skyscraper, Riku stuck a sharpie up his nose and inhaled deeply. "Come on, Sora, man Sniff This dark shit, it's mad awesome!! Come on, try some!!" Darth Vader walked by in the background. "Just look what it did for me!!" The evil dude said proudly, pulling off his helmet to display his bald and mishapen head while waving his metal arm around. "Riku...for the last time, it's me, Ansem." Ansem was completely unfazed by the sharpie-ness.The Nobody confronting Nicole sighed. "In that case, I guess I must fight you." With that, he summoned a pink scythe. (thus revealing himself as Marluxia to the fans)Jenna paused to cheer for the cuccoos, then saved her brother. "That's the fifth time this week, Felix!"
Grado
Riane was about to reply to the PMS!Wise One, when she heard the crying. "What the...what the hell? Lucian! What did you do?"
Knoll walked over, wearing a rainbow afro. "It seems the machine backfired and babified him." Baby Lucian made 'goo-goo ga-ga' noises and bubbled drool happily.
"...What's with the afro?"
Knoll patted it. "It's to make hippies think I've converted, just in case they come around aga-"
A frantic Seth burst in, waving a turnip through the air, and smashed into Lyon. "OMG OMG ZOMG WE'RE UNDER ATTAAACK!!" He shrieked, wetting himself. "AT THE HARBOR ZOMG EVIL RAPTOR/SLIME/BAEL/GWYLLGI/HELLCAT (S) !!!"
Lyon waved his hands in the air, and a distressed smiley face appeared over his head. "Send out the wyverns!!"
Seth flushed. "But, milord, they were possessed by Satan, so I killed them all!" Lyon got a very evil expression on his face. "WTF?!" Cormag screamed as his wyvern poofed out of existence at this announcement. He was then tackled by Tana, who screamed and started pulling her unfortunate prisoner towards Random Bedroom 1. A certain blonde alchemist picked up the crying Lucian. "Uh... What do babies eat again? Bugs?" A large black wrestler wearing many golden chains shook his mohawked head. "Mr. T knows what babies eat, foo'! They drink MILK!!"
"DON'T SAY THE WORD!!" Ed howled.
Grado's Main Harbor
The sun sunk under the dark waters, giving away to a stormy and starless night. A lone crow cawed loudly from its perch on top of a half demolished building. The entire harbor had been destroyed, razed to the ground. All the inhabitants had fled for their lives or perished... The enemy had taken no prisoners. The massed forces could be seen crawling around the dark wharf as rain started to fall lightly. The army was composed of demons, leering, nightmarish creatures with bat like wings and fangs. They were riding an assortment of equally ferocious monsters... Gwyllgis, Baels, and two new types of foe. One were the Vriin, creatures resembling the raptors of yesteryear, but with the wings of dragons. Quill like spines sprouted from the back of the thin heads, their tongues flicking out from beneath glowing yellow eyes. The pitch black animals had powerful legs with sharp talons on the end, and small hands with only three fingers. The other new beast was the Hellcats. Wiry, tiger-like creatures with spiky fur, six legs, and four pupil less eyes that could freeze any who gazed into them with fear, they crouched sphinx-like throughout the deserted town. But the most dreadful of the creatures were the three largest ones sprawled asleep in the main plaza. Shaped rather like slugs, they were covered in slime that would ensnare, suffocate, and digest any unfortunate wretch who made contact with it. They were covered in glowing red runes, which shone brightly through their covering of mucus. And the leader of this hellish army, and the sole rider of the slimy Nyglus, was standing facing the sea. Like her niece, she had long white hair that fanned lazily in the night air, which was warm and heavy with the smell of burning buildings. She wore only a simple white dress, and two angel like wings emerged from the back⦠blood dripped slowly from the pure white feathers, and trickled down the corner of her mouth, which was twitched upwards in an insane grin, hiding her pointed teeth. Her eyes were closed, and she stood there, a serene figure in the midst of the chaos around her. She was one of the Fallen, and her name was Auril.
And she was Lucian's mother.
Somewhere
"Errr...Kairi! I pick Kairi!" Sora blurted, taking said Kairi by the hand and shooing away the other fangirls. Kairi squealed and wiggled her way into Sora's shirt, where she started signing her name on his chest in permanent ink. Fomortiis and Voldemort got into a friendly conversation about torture methods in the background. "Kairi! What are you...?" Sora stopped dead. "...Is that Sharpie?" "Mmm... Sora, you smell SEXY!!" Kairi squealed and bounced up and down, making Sora nearly fall over. "Yes, that's a sharpie... A PURPLE sharpie..." Fomortiis mused.
Riku giggled and continued to address Ansem as Sora.
"Pink!! That's cute!!" Nicole sneered, setting her once more unconscious captive gently on the ground and binding him with magic. "I'll teach YOU to fear the color pink!" She cried before promptly turning into a large, pink, and evil-looking dragon with manicured nails. She swiped at Marluxia, but missed and hit the ground instead. She shrieked. "I THINK I BROKE A NAIL!!!"
Hyrule
Felix shrugged. Then Garet bounced over to Jenna, a rose clutched tightly between his teeth. "I wuff ju! I wike fiar!" He said, his words muffled by the flower. Felix kicked him off the ledge for hitting on his sister. Link played Saria's song near a pasture where a herd of cows were grazing and was promptly shot with a geyser of milk.
