Chapter 5/5 The End
"Well let me save it from driving you crazy. She's just like her father and it's been driving me crazy since she turned thirteen. Because she's the child of the man who wrote in my year book "No matter what happens I'll always love you." Yes, Lucas, she's your daughter!"
I just stood them dumbstruck. Did I just hear Pea right? Did She Just Finally tell me who my father was? My father is Lucas Scott? How could that be?
"What was that Peyton?" Lucas shot back.
"Kas is your daughter."
"What? How?" he and Reagan said at the same time.
"The night before I came out here for my internship you got me pregnant. When I found out I was going to tell you, then Rachel told me you were sleeping with Lily's babysitter, so I kept her a secret because it was better for her not to have a father then to have one that cheats. That was when I also decided that she would have my last name."
"Peyton, I never slept with Lily's Babysitter. Christ she was seventy years old. Think about it, the news came from Rachel."
"Who you eventually slept with anyways and had a daughter with," Peyton said.
"I don't regret having Reagan, Peyton. She's been the light of my life. I do regret not coming for you and now I know I should have come for you."
Peyton looked at Lucas. "What would that have accomplished?"
"Damn it! Peyton! You know my past and you turned me into him. What it would have accomplished is at least I would have been in Kas' life."
"Just what she would need someone to break her heart."
"From what I hear you've been pushing her away since she was a teenager."
"Well try looking at the face of the man you love and hate in his child everyday. Try seeing that person in everything they do. Lucas, try living with that pain."
Lucas nodded. That was when I stepped up.
"Enough you two. If you two are my parents I'd rather be an orphan," I yelled and ran out of the house.
I went to my special thinking place. This old abandoned basketball court was a great place to think. I took my usual spot in center court and sat down. That was when the tears came.
Dirty Little Secret 17: I never cry. Really I never could say why but I could never cry. Peyton, I can't call her mom or Pea right now, never pushed me to cry and let me keep to myself.
So I finally know who my Dad is. I'm pleased and shocked at who he was. Now I have a whole lot of questions, I don't know if I could have all the answers.
Finally someone came up behind me. I turned around and saw Reagan standing there.
"How did you know to look for me here?" I asked.
"I remember you telling Lily and myself about it, and even though I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, you're a Scott so you'd retreat to basketball," she said and sat down next to me.
"So, I'm your big sister," I said, nervously.
Reagan nodded, "Trust me, Kas, I'm still shocked myself. But as sisters go I could have gotten worse," she said.
I smiled and looked at the girl I just found out was my sister. "I hope this doesn't cause trouble between us."
Reagan shook her head, "Not at all, if anything Kas, this explains a lot. Grandma Karen since meeting you always suspected that you were my sister."
"I got that vibe too. She's a great woman, I'm glad Karen is my grandma."
Reagan shook her head, "I don't think we'll make our reservation."
I nodded. "I think we should head back."
Reagan nodded, "Let me call my Dad."
Nodding I watched the girl who I now knew was my little sister make a phone call. After a few minutes Lucas pulled up and picked us up. We headed back to the house I grew up in, for some reason I couldn't call it home anymore.
"Lucas, did you know about me?" I finally asked breaking the silence.
"I didn't Kas, if I did I would have been there to be in your life."
I nodded. "Do you love, Peyton?"
"I did once, Kas. I'm not sure anymore."
"Did you take me under your wing because you suspected I was your daughter?"
Lucas shook his head, "No, I read your writing and thought you had great talent."
"Thank you, for your support, Lucas," I said.
"Your welcome."
When we got back to where I grew up, I started to get out, but Lucas stopped me.
"Kas, I don't want anything to change between us. You could always talk to me. You're in the driver's seat here," he said.
I nodded and went inside. That was where I found Peyton waiting for me in the kitchen. She was looking at me with sad eyes.
"Why did you run, Kas?" she asked me.
I sighed, "Maybe because I wanted to keep the fantasy of my parents being in love with each other intact."
Peyton shook her head, "Well so you finally know who your father is," she said with a sigh, "Maybe I shouldn't have hid him from you."
"You think, Peyton."
She looked at me shocked. "You never call me Peyton or mom, what's up?"
I shook my head, "Well how can I call you Pea or Mom when I don't know you?"
"Kas, I've raised you your whole life."
"Yet I still don't know you."
"What are you talking about?"
I sighed, "If you could lie to me my whole life, how can I ever know you or even trust you."
With that I stormed out of the house. Eventually I ended up back at the sorority house.
My cell had been blowing up since I walked out of the house. Peyton was calling me, at least eight times, and left several voice mails. Bee called about five times, Cee about three, and Peyton even got Sawyer to call me. Never mind the text messages I was getting.
I was pissed and shut off my phone and threw it on my dresser. Next I crashed down on my bed and hugged one of my pillows. At this time I really wanted to be left alone.
The door to my room opened. I rolled over and saw Hales standing in my door.
"Kas, what happened? My phone has been blowing up for the last couple of hours," she said.
"Nothing happened, Hales, I just want to be left alone."
"I can' do that, my parents, my sister, and your mom, have been calling me worried about you."
I finally sighed, "Hales, I found out who my father is."
She nodded, "Okay, so Pea finally broke down and told you. That should be a happy thing, not a sullen thing, Kas."
"How about with him in the room?" I asked.
Hales gave me alook, "Is Pea practicing black magic now? How can your dead father be standing in the same room as you?"
I sighed, "He's not dead, and she's been lying to me, my whole life!"
Hales nodded, "Wow! So who is your father?"
I sighed again, "Lucas Scott."
"What? That author you read? The same one you interviewed? Your mentor? That Lucas Scott?"
I nodded, "Yeah the same."
Hales sighed, "Wow so Pea is Peyton in An Unkindness of Ravens. So that makes Bee Brooke," shaking her head, "Wow are own little touch with greatness."
"Hales, I'm on a real head trip right now, could you leave me alone to think?"
She nodded and left me alone.
Dirty Little Secret 18: when I'm upset I retreat into my shell. Rarely in my life do I retreat into my shell. I'm usually out going and live for the moment.
It's funny it was almost a year since that project. In that year I've had three moments that changed my life. It's just crazy, I really do mean that.
I stayed away from Malibu. The home I once so loved bothered me, even to think about it. The rest of the semester I hardly talked, I wrote and I drew.
Hales figured it was just a phase. Sawyer was just confused. Bee and Cee kept trying to reach me, but I ignored them. Peyton was weirdly silent through out this.
One thing I did was assembly a betrayal list. Everyone who had lied to me was on that list. That would be Peyton, Bee, Cee, Rae, Grandpa, Jake, and Jen. Those who were innocent were Hales, Sawyer, Lucas, Reagan, Lily, Karen, Haley, Nathan, Jamie and Kaylee.
Most people were innocent of this betrayal. Yet everything still hurt. I lost so much of myself in the pain.
Justa s it was all starting to settle in my interview with the man I now know as my father came back to the surface. It was published under the title Lucas Scott in his Own Words. It was a major success, believe it or not. Yet I still couldn't enjoy it.
As my graduation approached I was able to publish my story up to the time I interviewed Lucas. It had been in the works for a while, and I had chosen Bee's line for the title A Moment that Everything Changes.
On the coat tails of all this Lucas Scott hype it took off. Most people didn't know that a good part of that book were lies that were told to me. In a sense I felt sorry for my readers.
As the time to graduation approached I became even more sullen. As my time at UCLA was ending it meant I would have to move back to Malibu. That was something I wasn't looking forward too.
One last surprise was sprung on me, the agent that Lucas put me in contacted me, and they approved my novel for publication. For the first time in a while I smiled.
Week of Graduation should have been the happiest time in my life. That Tuesday my novel dropped. I would go to the local mall and looked at the cover of the book. The title was prefect, A Twist of Fate: A Girls Journey by Kas Scott, was an interesting thing to see. I don't know why I chose that pen name, but it just seemed right, maybe it was to honor the father I was denied.
I did finally walk for graduation. Maybe I did it for me, maybe some lingering obligation to Peyton. But I walked and went out to celebrate with them. You would think someone had died with the sullen atmosphere at the table.
I was suppose to stay at the Malibu house that night. Which to some I did, I hid in my room. After everyone was asleep I grabbed my three bags, sent a text message, and called a cab. I was finally enacting the plan that I came up with several weeks ago.
Everything I could I canceled. My money was moved to a different account, My IM Screen names and Email Addresses were changed. All my bills that I had left were to be handled by a finical advisor. It was time to cut all ties.
When I was dropped off at my destination I waited in line. In line I had a book out.
"You're reading An Unkindness of Ravens?" a woman asked.
I nodded, not wanting to say duh. "Yeah it is one of my favorite books."
The woman nodded, "I absolutely loved the Lucas/Peyton relationship in the book. I've always wondered what happened with them?"
I smirked and shrugged, "I'm not really sure."
"Have you read his new one Sin of A Father?"
I nodded, "Yeah it was very good."
"Well enjoy," she said and moved up in the line.
Dirty Little Secret 19: An Unkindness of Ravens is my favorite book that is true. When I was ten and read it I always wanted to live in that world. It sounded fun and exciting and I was ten. Now at twenty-two I found out that not only did this world exist but I'm also a casualty of it.
After checking my bags I waited. I started reading my book again. Truly I did feel that I was damaged from this. How could this happen? Well I'm going to stick around to figure it out.
Dirty Little Secret 20: My ex-stepmother Rachel once mused what was I in my personality make up. I wondered myself from time to time. Was I mostly Adams because I skated and surfed like Cee? Was I mostly Davis because my glamour and love of fashion? Was mostly Sawyer because of me being an artist? Or now as I found out was I mostly a Scott because of my love of books and basketball?
For the past few months I wondered that too. Now as I sit in this airplane from LAX to JFK and then onto parts unknown, I finally know what my personality was mostly made up from.
How to sum it up best? Maybe the sum it up; I sent her the simple line from An Unkindness of Ravens, the message was "People always leave." So I'm a Sawyer. Why? Because when things get tough, we run away.
The End
Author's Notes: Well Kas' journey ends here. Thank you for reading. This was a tough chapter for me to write since in a sense Kas ends here and I've grown attached to Kas. I actually walked away from the note book several times at the airport scene. Well I hope you enjoyed A Twist of Fate.
