Mmm so I lied. Sorry guys. But you love me for it. I added more, after all. NOW I'm finished with it.

Come sit in Emmett's room while he recounts the last few days since Bella decorated Edward's cupcakes. A little one-shot that takes place after Cupcakes concluded. Emmett muses to you, dear human reader, about all the things that make Edward tick, invariably arriving at the conclusion that Edward's sexual tension equals anger each time in a slightly spastic manner. No, it's not supposed to make sense, this is Emmett. He says whatever comes to mind. No, there's no plot. This is Emmett. Ha. Short piece. Let me know how you like it, since it's my first from Emmett's POV.

Cupcakes: Epilogue

By: Ren

I had to admit, as much crap as Rose had given me for it, it had been pretty fun. I mean, come on. Edward was baking, for crying out loud. Yeah, sure Bella bakes, but it was really fun to imagine Edward in a pink apron. ….He hadn't liked that thought much. In fact, he had pelted me with an extra cupcake for it. Now, my dear humans, you might think being pelted with a cupcake wouldn't be so bad. …It isn't, if a human throws it. Edward threw the cupcake with enough force… well; let's just say if I had been Bella, I would have had a cupcake in my spleen.

Naturally, I had to return fire. It wasn't fair that Edward attacked me with a defenseless cupcake. Bella hadn't been happy we were using her cupcakes as ammunition. She counted the remaining three dozen and coddled them off to save them for the next school day. Since we'd had no fresh cupcakes, Edward picked up the limp one I had chucked at him. He contemplated it, and then threw it back. This time I was ready and sidestepped. Unfortunately, it hit Rosalie instead.

Do you see where this is going? I did, but a second too late. Rose didn't know who to be more furious at: Edward for throwing the damn thing or me for getting out of the way. Like she expected me to know she was back there. Edward would've, and he had thrown it anyway. She ended up taking it out on me. Not that I minded, but I'll spare you the details of my… "punishment." It wouldn't fall into the "PG 13" category. Edward needs some of that. I wonder if Bella's in to… …no, probably not. Although she could probably swipe a pair of handcuffs from Charlie…

Did I mention Esme threw a fit about the cupcake stuck to the wall? Edward took the heat for that one, and it wasn't the pleasant kind of punishment I had.

It took me for forever to get the damn cabbage out of Edward's precious Volvo. Seriously. Okay so yeah, I can hose out my jeep and he… can't. But still! Still smells kinda funny though. He'll get over it.

Bella has this really cute way of blushing furiously over just about… well, anything. If I say 'don't trip' she'll blush like mad and invariably end up tripping. It's hysterical. Edward hates me for it, but he's just an old stiff. A hundred years of pent up sexual tension would do that to you. Thankfully, I don't have that problem. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Bella blushes every time I ask, but she glows like a beet when anyone talks about anything remotely related to sex, so I can't use her blushing as any kind of judge. Edward swears he hasn't and actually punched me the first time I pressed the issue. He has a bit of a temper. Especially if Bella's involved. He needs to lose the tension.

I can't wait for her to be a vampire. We can play, and like, really play. She can play thunderball with us, run with us, have snowball fights and everything! It'll be great. She's like the kid sister I always wanted. Rumor has it though she wants to arm wrestle me once she's changed. Like, right after she's changed, when her own blood is still potent. No way in hell I'm arm wrestling a newborn. I can't lose to her. Even if it is because she's a newborn, they'll never let me live it down, and never suddenly has a much lengthier meaning.

So personally I thought the cupcakes tasted nasty. Not that I ate them by will, mind you. It was more like Edward shoved them down my throat. Bella assured me they tasted fine while trying to keep a straight face. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, choking on the damn fluffballs like that. Edward was sure smug.

But then he's smug all the time. Maybe because he knows he can't get any. I mean, that's how everything goes, right? When you can't get lucky, you act like you're cool in every other manner to make up for it. Edward denies this point violently, –literally – by the way, but sometimes I wonder. All that sexual tension has to go somewhere. He sleeps in the same bed with her night after night, but that's all. If he wanted, he could watch her in the shower and she'd never know. But Edward wouldn't do that. He's too… too… something. I watch Rose in the shower all the time. Nothing wrong with it. …Except I'm invited, and we usually do more than watch. That's beside the point. I don't think Bella would mind if Edward spontaneously joined her in the shower. Maybe she would.

Regardless, I do believe Rosalie is calling. It's shower time. Can't keep her waiting.