towers over in angry voice Do you people really like this crap? Hahaha, I'm joking. I wanna thank all you who are sending reviews. You're giving me so many ideas! I'll twist them in the best ways I can, and I'm good at that! My friend and I once stayed up til 3 am designing a muilti anime Miss America contest. Hoooweee! Enjoy Lesson 2!
How to Tick Off Fullmetal (by Roy Mustang)
Lesson 2: Give him missions that make him look as incredibly stupid as the mission itself.
Example: August 19;
Roy Mustang sits at his desk, his hands massaging his temples. It had already been a long day, and it was only seven in the morning!
It all started at six ten this morning. Normally, Colonel Roy Mustang awoke at five thirty, because it allowed him enough time to do everything he needed to and be into work by six thirty. His alarm clock was too damn lazy to go off this morning. Well, actually, he had forgotten to set the thing the night before, but he couldn't blame it on himself. He was the Colonel, and he was him after all, and Roy Mustang could not be wrong.
So anways, when his obsidian eyes fluttered opened and glanced at the clock, he shot off the bed, nearly forcing the covers into a ricochet across the room. Grabbing the clock, he shook it, grumbling and screaming.
"Why didn't you ring, darn it! Why! You were supposed to go off you cheap, dime store worthless peice of crap!"
After pacing the floor with the clock in his hand as though waiting for it to answer, he realized that he was just wasting more time, so he threw the clock onto the floor and searched the adjoining bathroom for his clothes. It was after roughly three minutes of searching that he realized he had put his uniform in the wash. He would have to use his spare.
Getting dressed, he went over the route to the office in his mind, realizing that it took about 10 minutes to get there. Frustrated, he darted out the door with having breakfast.
Arriving at work, his hair was unkempt and he was breathing heavily, but he was on time, so at least he had that going for him. He walked as calmly as he could to his desk and sat down, taking a spare comb from the drawer. He ran it through twice, making it look at least halfway decent. But now he was hungry.
So his morning sucked. Really really bad. But he wasn't without humor. In fact, he had a special plan. Ed was supposed to come in today. Roy had recently given him a somewhat silly mission. He could have done it, sure, but to have Ed do an undercover mission dressed as a clown was a great idea.
And sure enough, Edward came bursting into the room, his face as red as the squeeky round nose that went with his costume, seen clearly behind the white face paint. Roy covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
"You think this is funny!" Ed screamed.
Unable to contain it anymore, Roy gave Ed his answer in the form of a loud, silly laugh.
"Yes," Roy breathed out after about 5 minutes of tear jerking laughs.
"Of course you would. You're a sick, sadistic freak."
"You know," Roy said as he stood, observing Ed's disguise. "The size of those clown shoes almost, not quite, but almost make you look taller."
Ed growled and flung a shoe at him, which nailed him square in the forehead.
"No need to be so rash, Fullmetal," Roy said, rubbing his forehead.
"Yeah, well stop being an idiot."
"I'm not. That's a very funny look."
"I mean about giving me missions like this!"
"Why? I think it's very funny. Observe. HAVOC!" Roy called.
"Yes Si-" Havoc stopped and instantly fell onto the floor rolling with laughter at the site of Ed. Somehow, that guy managed to keep his cigarette lit the entire time. How the hell could he do that?
Ed screamed as Havoc nearly guffawed himself into choking on the cigarette and grabbed Mustang by the stomach of his shirt, since he couldn't reach the collar.
"Damn it Mustang! Stop giving me missions like this!"
"Why?"
"I feel like an idiot! Look at me!"
An the sight was indeed interesting. Ed wore a hair peice with puffy orange hair. A big round nose covered his own delicate boyish one, and big red smiling lips were painted just below it. His outfit was orange, red and pink, with green, blue and purple polka dots, with giant gloves, oversized about 4 times the boy's hands. His shoes were about the length of his entire arm, brown and floppy and they made sounds of quacking ducks whenever he took a step. Just outside the door, in the hallway, Al could be heard giggling almost uncontrollably
"Fullmetal, don't worry," Roy said growing serious as though offering the boy support. "I'm giving you these missions...because you're just the idiot to do them!"
Roy burst into another fit of laughing, along with Havoc, who now had a case of hiccups. Ed growled and walked over to a bronze sculpture, taking off the gloves, clapping his hands and transmutingit intofour small balls about 4 inches in diameter. He then turned and faced Roy, juggling them nimbly.
"Wow, that's very good, Fullmetal, you certainly fit the part," Roy said wiping tears from his eyes.
Then Edward got an evil grin on his face, and the angle of juggling changed, forcing the balls to smash into various parts of Roy, one nearly neutering him.
...beware of flying juggling balls, and make sure your target has not previously attended clown school.
