A/N this chapter also took me a while to write. I couldn't figure out how things after the kiss would turn out. Thanks to those who reviewed and to the rest, R&R please!
I staggered backwards rubbing my shoulders. Spot looked stunned at what he'd done. I could tell he'd never pushed a girl away before. I stared at him a moment confused. What is going through his head right now? Does he like me or not? If he didn't he probably wouldn't have pushed me away. Al the girlfriends he's ever had were ones he didn't particularly care about. Yes this was true. He'd never actually cared about a girl before besides the one that had turned him down. The only one to ever turn Spot Conlon away.
"What is it?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"Don't do this." He said.
"Why not?" I asked. This was not what I was expecting.
"Just go back to Manhattan and we can pretend this never happened. It's almost stopped raining so you should be okay getting back."
"What? You're kicking me out at 1 o'clock in the morning? What about Race? Why are you doing this?" I was certainly not leaving at this time of night to go on an hour long trip back to Manhattan. And I wanted a straight answer. I repeated the burning question in my head as if hoping he would read my mind and decide to answer it. Why are you doing this?
He stayed silent for another minute proving that he in fact could not read my mind and that he himself didn't know why he was doing this. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to keep kissing me but some unknown force was keeping him from doing just that. He was trying to choose his words carefully. After a while he finally spoke. "If you don't want to leave now then just o back upstairs and you and Race can leave first thing in the mornin'. " He continued to dance around the question.
"Spot, why are you doing this?" I said taking his head in my hands. I looked him straight in the eye and continued. "I can see it in your eyes now. You don't want this to happen. You love me and you know it." For a moment he looked on the verge of admitting something but then his expression turned to one of pure loathing. But it wasn't me that he loathed. It was the fact that I had just hit the nail on the head. He pulled out of my grip angrily.
"You don't know nothing. For all you know I just hate you too much to sleep with ya, you whore." I actually shook with anger. Spot loved me and even someone who was blind could've seen that. And now, he was afraid of it. Of falling in love. He feared being rejected again and he feared ending up treating me like just another one of his one-night stands. He cared too much to let that happen but his way of pushing me away was by making me think he hated me.
"Spot Conlon you make me sick. You're only doing this because I'm right. Everything I've said is true and you're just too afraid to get close to anyone. You say you hate me but you're the one who came out here to see me tonight. Well I just want you to know that I care about you too. Or rather I cared." I turned to leave, walked a few paces and then whipped around again. "Oh and you don't have to trouble yourself anymore and make all those trips to Manhattan to see me. I don't want you to come near me again." And with that, I walked off the docks and out of Brooklyn.
The next morning was business as usual. After I had gotten back last night I had crashed on my bed and cried myself to sleep. It had taken everything I'd had to keep from breaking down in front of Spot.
I walked out of the room after having washed my face and gotten dressed. I walked downstairs and waited for the boys who I could hear upstairs. I was determined to keep my face bright so as not to arouse suspicion. I didn't want anyone to now what had happened last night, especially my brother. He would go kill Spot.
Instead when they came downstairs I greeted them and went off to the circulation office. After a few weeks with the newsies I had become a pretty good one. Jack had been teaching me. I bought my papes and was looking for Skittery when Race came running up.
"What happened to you this morning?" He asked. "I got up and Spot said he saw you leave last night without a word." I told him I had gotten homesick and wanted to go back after the rain subsided. He seemed to accept this answer and he went to buy his papers.
I spotted Skittery and ran over to him. "Hey Skitts, where to today?" I asked.
"Actually to Brooklyn today. I want to go see Aqua. Is that okay?" At least someone was honest when it came to love. I thought.
"Yeah of course that's okay." I said. I went back and met up with Mush and we headed to Bottle Ally for the day.
At lunch we all ended up at Tibby's. I was sitting with Mush, Race, and Blink when Skittery came through the door with Aqua in tow. They were arguing loudly and Skittery to my surprise had a black eye.
"What the hell happened?" I asked running up to the two of them.
"Why are you asking? Did you forget what you did last night?" Aqua asked me. She wasn't mad and I was relieved. Then I looked back at Skittery and nearly jumped out of my skin. He was glaring at me like I had just robbed a bank.
"You found out." I said looking at my feet.
"Hell yeah I found out. Aqua said she saw everything last night and when I went to go scream at Spot for what he did to you Aqua started yelling at me to keep it confidential. To let you handle things. So I ignore that and go tell Spot off and we started fighting." He pointed to his black eye and Aqua was looking thoroughly pissed off. I could tell I just been the cause of two fights.
"Skittery, you didn't have to…I mean you shouldn't have…I just." I stopped unsure of what to say. I was saved from a retort when Spot Conlon slammed the front door open and stalked in the room. He also had a black eye and an ugly bruise on his upper right arm. Skittery had done a job on him.
"You bitch. You sent him to go fight your battles? You told him what happened and then sent him to go embarrass me in front of every newsie I have? You stupid bitch!" He screamed at me.
"I didn't say a damn thing, Aqua did and Skittery went and beat you up on his own accord. And I thought I told you not to come near me." I yelled back. He was really pushing it.
"Am I suppose to believe that? Am I suppose to believe some slut who tells me who I do and do not love? Cause I don't love you."
"Wow, I am just devastated." I said sarcastically. I could see Aqua and Skittery bickering in the corner. "You're the liar anyway. You do care about me and I care about you too. Just admit it and this will all be okay!" I was getting desperate.
"Yeah I'd like you more if you didn't act like some stupid know-it-all!" Act? He'd like me more if I didn't act? Who's acting? This is me!
"I am not a know-it-all. Everyone can tell. Right guys?" Everyone in the room backed me up. Everyone except Skitter and Aqua. Aqua was getting fed up. Apparently he was telling her he'd like her better if she didn't boss him around and act like the center of the universe. The idiot. Aqua jumped up on the table and told him how she felt. Loudly.
Every
single day
I walk down the street
I hear people say,
"Baby's
so sweet"
Every since puberty
Everybody stares at
me
Boys-girls
I can't help it baby
So be kind
Don't lose
your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby
Take me for what I
am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby
or leave me
Take me baby or leave me
A tiger in a cage
Can
never see the sun
This diva needs her stage
Baby - let's have
fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks'd kill to fill your
shoes
You love the limelight too, baby
So be mine or don't
waste my time
Cryin' - "Honeybear - Are you still my
baby?"
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And
if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
No way - Can I be
what I'm not
But hey - Don't you want your girl hot!
Don't
fight - Don't lose your head
Cause every night- Who's in your
bed?
Who's in your bed, baby?
Skittery looked absolutely floored. Aqua had danced around the table and told him off. I loved my brother but he deserved it. I decided if it worked for Aqua it would work for me.
I
look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists
in my sleep
Baby what's my sin?
Never quit - I follow through
I
hate mess - but I love you
What to do
With my impromptu baby
So
be wise
This girl satisfies
You've got a prize but dont
compromise
You're one lucky baby
Take me for what I am
Who I
was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
At this Spot knew he was screwed. Me and Aqua decided to really make our point loud and clear.
That's
it!
TIGER
The straw that breaks my back
AQUA
I
quit
TIGER
Unless you take it back
BOTH
Men
AQUA
What
is it about them?
BOTH
Can't live -
With them -
Or
without them!
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And
if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby
Or
leave me
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm gone!
The two of us walked out of the restaurant not paying any attention to the gaping faces and stunned looks from all the newsies.
