To my reviewers, thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a little hard to write, but, man, so much fun.


Smile for the Camera

Beast Boy was sitting up as straightly as he could. The waiting room the Titans were in was the type of place that was designed to permeate a feeling of welcome. In truth, nobody ever spent time in the room. This was made all too clear by the light layer of dust under the chairs the cleaning crew had missed and the People magazine that had been sitting in the same spot on the same glass tabletop for thirteen months. Beast Boy shifted around in his chair. The ugly terra cotta furniture creaked just quietly enough for him to hear it. Other people wouldn't find it noticeable.

Raven caught Beast Boy's fidgeting and shot him an annoyed glance from across the room. She glared at him briefly over the top of her book before going back to her reading. The message was clear. It was the same thing Raven had been telling Beast Boy for the past week as the Titans were bounced from waiting room to waiting room. In essence, the message was to not do anything stupid. Beneath that was the whispered question "Can't you be somebody else?" Beast Boy tried to still himself while returning Raven's glare. If she noticed, Raven gave no indication.

The air felt lonely, if such a thing was possible. It wasn't the aesthetics or anything of that nature. The simple truth was that the room felt neglected. Starved for attention.

Robin was sitting impatiently next to one of the only doors in the room. His foot was hammering away at the floor in a steady rhythm that would eventually gnaw a hole through the creamy carpet if he didn't stop.

Cyborg was a few seats away from Robin with a NASCAR magazine cracked over his knee. He hadn't turned a page for a while and the careful observer would discover that the metallic teen was snoozing lightly.

Of all the Titans, Starfire was the only one with any degree of real energy and curiosity. The bubbly alien had been darting from seat to seat, playing around with some of the beaded tracks left on the floor for the fictional children whom used the room, and flipping her way through at least half of the old paper rags that littered the table, for the past half hour. Beast Boy envied her energy and happiness. The changeling had been having trouble being happy the past few days. If he'd ever known fanfiction allowed stuff like that to be published he wouldn't have read it. He felt soiled. And with good reason.

The door next to Robin swung open a few inches as a spectacled intern poked her head through the threshold. "Teen Titans?" she asked in a slightly awed voice. She didn't really need an answer, apparently. After seeing the five she quickly added in a more serious voice, "Mr. Sawchak can see you now." She quickly pulled her head out of the room while holding the door open, waiting for the Titans to join her. Raven slammed her book shut and rose from her chair. She'd been like that ever since the snow last week. More accurately, she'd been like that ever since she figured out fanfiction existed and Beast Boy had been reading it.

Beast Boy eagerly exploded out of the chair that had held him prisoner for the past forty minutes. He needed to go run in circles or something. This constant waiting was driving him insane. Unfortunately, waiting was what they had been doing for some time, and Beast Boy had a suspicion that they would continue to wait for a few days still. Once the entire team had filtered out of the waiting room, the intern allowed the door to swig shut again.

"Follow me, please," she said in a practiced tone, barely containing her excitement. The six walked down a long corridor. While it had the same paint and carpet of the waiting room, this hallway felt alive, as if somebody might know it existed. Beast Boy walked behind everybody else, a little wary of seeming too eager. The rest of the Titans had been unhappy with Beast Boy's fanfiction viewing at first. Starfire and Cyborg seemed to have cooled down, but Raven and Robin didn't seem any less murderous than they had days ago.

After the group went a few meters in silence, the intern spoke again. "So, you guys are the Titans?"

Beast Boy had to fight the urge to laugh at how awkward the girl was. "Yeah," Beast Boy answered after a brief pause, his sympathy toward the girl overriding his need for self-preservation. The girl smiled thankfully at him. She was nervous (that was obvious), and unfortunately for her, she had met the Titans on one of their worst days. "It's not all it's cracked up to be," Beast Boy continued, encouraged by the intern's smile. "I mean, sure, we get our own table at Angelo's Pizza Parlor, but…" Beast Boy fell silent when he realized Raven was scowling at him. Then she turned away again.

Startled by the sudden silence, the intern followed Beast Boy's gaze to Raven's back. With a knowing smile, she gave Beast Boy an encouraging wink. She wasn't nervous anymore. Unfortunately, she was also smiling to herself about some secret relationship between Beast Boy and Raven, and that was exactly the type of thing they were here to prevent. Among other things.

The intern stopped in front of two large oak doors and knocked gently on the sleek wood. Beast Boy didn't hear anything from inside, but obviously the intern did. She reached forward and opened the door a few inches. She seemed reluctant to open the door and subject them to what lay inside.

"Don't be rude, Madeline," a youthful voice called from inside, "let them in." No sooner had the sentence been finished than both doors were flung wide open. Standing before them, framed by windows that looked out on the gleaming mid-day city, was Sawchak. He did not blend in because of his smile, though it was a blinding sheen that seemed to belong on a billboard. He did not blend in because of his energy, which could fuel the entire city's nightlife if his constant bouncing was any indication. Sawchak blended into the glare of sun on metal because of his attire. Decked out in a flamboyant yellow suit with a loud green shirt and stripped red and black tie, he appeared to have fallen out of bed and selected the clothing that would instill happiness in himself and the world. Personally, Beast Boy just thought he looked like he wanted to give people headaches.

Six pairs of eyes widened but the intern quickly scurried away, leaving only five gaping maws. Sawchak seemed not to notice and gestured to the office behind him, inviting the Titans to come in and choose a seat.

Beast Boy wandered into the office and observed the tasteful and obviously expensive décor. A long table that was so finely polished that it looked like chocolate held a central position in the room. No less than a dozen chairs, each one a rich plum and stuffed until their stitches groaned and complained to each other, were arranged at different angles around the table while another two sat next to a bookcase and behind a workstation complete with computer, phone, fax, and a miniature refrigerator.

Beast Boy flopped down into the nearest chair and felt the cushions mold to his frame instantly. He decided right then that even if the guy dressed like he was preparing to be a firework that Sawchak was awesome. The other Titans preformed a similar scanning of the office before taking their own seats.

"So," Sawchak snapped the doors closed before turning his smiling visage to the seated teenagers. In truth, he was only a little older than they were. "I'm told you needed to see me?" As he spoke, Sawchak walked around the office until he got to the refrigerator. Popping it open with his foot, he grabbed a bottle of spring water. "Would any of you like anything?" he asked.

Beast Boy started to speak but a swift kick from Raven changed his mind. Sawchak noticed and shook his head. "It's alright, Raven. We can keep this informal." With that he grabbed a soda and tossed it to Beast Boy who caught it deftly.

Looking down at the soda, Beast Boy realized it was his favorite soft drink. As if he could read his mind, Sawchak said, "You guys are pretty famous. It would be sad if I didn't know a little about you."

He grabbed a file from the top of his desk and took a seat next to Starfire. "Let's see," he mumbled while flipping through papers, "you were bounced around a bit before coming here," he nodded his head, as if the absurd set of hoops they had needed to jump through made sense to him.

Starfire leaned over to see the file and began to recite their movements over the past few days. "Indeed. We first telephoned the heated line and then were told to send email to your offices of public relationships."

"And they, of course, delegated to internal affairs. They called you in and you ended up on Marsha's desk, she handed you off to Ray, and he sent you down to Sam." As he recited this rapid course, as if he'd seen it hundreds of times, Sawchak clicked open a pin and started scribbling notes in the paper's margins.

"And she finally got us out of internal affairs and to the consults office," Robin interjected, sensing that now they were finally dealing with somebody who had a shred of power in the fanfiction hierarchy.

The man laughed to himself. "Well, on behalf of the community, I'd like to apologize for what must have been an agonizing couple of days." He unscrewed his water and took a swig from it.

Before Robin had a chance to dive into business, Raven asked, "Mr. Sawchak, if we're going to be informal, do you have a first name?" It was an innocent enough question, but it was obvious to the Titans that Raven didn't like Sawchak.

The man laughed good-naturedly. "You don't like me very much, do you? Never mind. I apologize for my manners – but I promise – that's the last one you'll hear out of me. My name's Jefferson Sawchak, but feel free to call me Jeff. Just in case you're curious, there's no relationship."

Starfire giggled at that. Beast Boy had no clue what Sawchak was talking about, but the green elf had gotten used to that during the conversations over the past couple of days. Legal jargon made no sense to him and the changeling had quickly learned that Harvard Law as taught by Captain Crunch was unreliable at best. Besides, Starfire laughed at a lot of weird things.

"A laugh – that's good. And such a pretty sound," Sawchak smiled widely while nonchalantly looking away, affording Starfire the privacy to blush without being scrutinized. When his gaze fell on Raven, Sawchak sighed. "So I take it you're not big on 1800's jokes? Oh well. Let's get to work."

"Let's," Raven said, finally allowing a faint smile to creep onto her features.

Beast Boy leaned forward, propped his elbows on the table, and cradled his chin so that when he fell asleep he wouldn't drool on the table. Again.

Hours later they were still all sitting at the table. Remarkably, Beast Boy hadn't fallen asleep. Even if he couldn't understand everything, it was interesting. Sawchak seemed sympathetic but he was also adamant in his insistence that there was little legal ground on which to remove fanfiction about them.

"We aren't getting anywhere here," Sawchak sighed while loosening his tie and taking another sip of water. "I'm your lawyer; and, I'm telling you, freedom of speech is guaranteed through the first amendment."

Beast Boy finished off his soda while Cyborg responded. "We know that, man, but we'd just like a little a little privacy. Some of the fanfiction is just… too much."

"Right," Sawchak nodded as he drew yet another piece of paper from his folder. "Sam took down a few vague notes. I've got them right here – matchmaking to a disgusting degree, misrepresentation of actions, and blah, blah, blah. You're superheroes. The fine print in the brochure says that people will care about you, idolize you, and hate you on any given day."

Starfire shook her head. "I have never seen such a brochure, but I have read the contract we signed. No such message exists."

"He was speaking metaphorically, Starfire. And he's right," Raven said with resignation laced into her words.

"Oh. But there must be something we can do? An army cannot quarter warriors in a home without permission, citizens need not incriminate themselves, and we are protected from the searching and seizing. Is not privacy implied?" Starfire asked as she lapsed into silent thought.

Sawchak nodded. "The Supreme Court say no. It's even truer for you. Every single one of you is a public figure, a type of celebrity."

Robin ran his hand through his hair before saying, "What about the argument that it's libel and not freedom of speech?"

Sawchak's furrowed brow and sparkling eyes slipped behind an ineffable mask before he recovered. "You did your homework." Beast Boy let his head fall to the tabletop with a thud before mumbling "Duh."

Sawchak continued without missing a beat. "That's quite a claim. What has been written that's libel?"

Beast Boy lifted his head off the table and started reciting them from memory. Robin had told him to memorize them; Raven had made sure he did. "Robin joined Slade willingly because he wanted to destroy the city. Raven came to Earth so she could kill us all. Cyborg became a cyborg after he tried to kill himself. Starfire was a… personal… slave before she came to Earth. I killed my parents the first time I morphed. Terra… Terra became Slade's apprentice because I drove her off." Beast Boy tapered off and put his head back on the table. Of all the fanfiction, that one had been the worst.

"Okay, that might qualify as libel," Sawchak whistled once Beast Boy was finished. "That is, assuming that it isn't true. Don't get me wrong," Sawchak quickly added, seeing the Titans stir in agitation, "I don't believe it. But there's nothing to gauge your actions and words against. Public appearances are brief and could be staged."

"But they aren't," Robin growled as his masked eyes narrowed.

Sawchak shrugged off Robin's attitude and continued. "That's the argument that the public will make. Paranoia about your team is pretty high. You have a habit of getting us into trouble just by your presence. You get us out, but there are those who will argue that without your team around Jump City wouldn't need saving."

"So what can we do to change their minds?" Cyborg asked with a bitter smile.

"That is the question, isn't it?" Sawchak mused. His eyes lit up and his face broke out into a smile larger than the one he had worn when the Titans first entered. "I like you guys and would like to give you a hand. The legal ground is shaky, but we might be able to work something out. Call it… repayment." Catching the quizzical look Beast Boy was giving him, Sawchak elaborated.

"You probably don't remember me. It was… what – five and a half? Six years ago? Anyway, you saved my life and I know my sister will always owe you."

Sawchak rose from his chair and seemed to float to his desk. He hit a switch on a built in intercom and barked, "Madeline, can you draw up some files for me? I need everything from the black box down in storage and transcripts of all the recent Robert's court decisions." Turning back to the assembled heroes, Sawchak smiled. "If you come back in a couple of days, I think we'll have a solution ready."

ooooo

Sawchak worked quickly. In a mere two days, the Titans were back in his office. On this day, Sawchak was dressed in a solid white suit that hurt to look at and boasting a deep blue tie that drew attention to the calculating pools of his eyes. Resting in the center of the table was a thick packet of paper: a contract.

"Well," Sawchak sighed as he plopped into a chair adjacent to Raven, "it wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but I think that this can help you out. I've already proofed it personally for legal technicalities and Madeline has been giving me a non-stop stream of information since you left."

A sheath of black light surrounded the packet as it levitated over to Raven. Sawchak's eyebrows rose as the epic landed in Raven's outstretched hands. Raven just took her index finger and started following the lines one at a time.

Sawchak shrugged lightly before redirecting his attention to the four Titans who were still listening to him. "I've never been one to stroke my own ego," he said in a barely concealed lie, "but just being able to write that was little less than magic on my part. The city was reluctant to sign. To endorse this contract," Sawchak gestured at the novel in Raven's hands, "is to tell all of Jump City that whatever five unbelievably powerful and influential people do in their free time is none of their business. But I eventually got the mayor to agree."

"What's the catch?" Robin leaned forward in his chair, sensing that there was something that Sawchak wasn't telling them.

"The catch," Sawchak smiled, "is non-existent. The mayor wanted some security but was eventually convinced that if you were an evil group of good-for-nothing-teens, you would have taken advantage of the city by now."

Sawchak spread his hands out on the tabletop. "What you see here," he said, "is all. The contract is all there is. There's a good deal of locution and a load of legal parlance, but, for all the fancy gibberish, the fact is that – aside from a few minor details and a period of gradual filtering – fanfiction about your team will stop. The contract is only temporary, but we can extend it later. Right?"

Starfire clapped her hands together enthusiastically and Sawchak gave a mock bow. Beast Boy could feel a great weight lift of his shoulders as Sawchak finished speaking. Fanfiction would stop. No more lies. No more anything. He'd have to find another hobby, though – assuming that Raven still trusted his ability to find his own hobby. That was a big assumption, and Beast Boy knew it. At the very least, maybe they would start talking again.

Sawchak leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Before he fell asleep, Sawchak told Raven to wake him if she had any questions. After that, the team empath continued to leaf her way through page upon page of the contract. At one point, Beast Boy wandered over and read a little over her shoulder. Once it began to feel as if there were little people inside his head trying to push his eyes out of their sockets, he went back to his own seat.

If Raven approved of the contract, the Titans would sign it. She was the one who could best understand the legal implications and she was the most avid about getting rid of fanfiction.

Raven hadn't mentioned it to anybody (at least not that Beats Boy knew of) but he knew that the stories involving her past and her father hurt. She gave so much to the city and they repaid her by speculating that she had wanted to kill them all along. The dark one. The creepy one. She wasn't to be trusted.

Beast Boy's head eventually fell onto his chest and he drifted into a restless sleep. He was rudely awakened by a sharp slap to the back of his head. Beast Boy flew forward and barely kept himself from colliding with the table's edge as Raven swept away from him. In front of him, Beast Boy saw the contract. In fine, almost calligraphic strokes, Beast Boy saw the names of all his teammates written next to large X's at the bottom of the very last page. Without reading the contract himself, Beast Boy grabbed a pen and placed his own signature on a line.

Sawchak snatched the pen from Beast Boy before affixing his own initials to the contract, proof that there was a witness and legal consult present. Taking up the contract, Sawchak spoke to the Titans. "It's been a treat working for you. A marked down bill will be sent from my office. Go have a little fun. You deserve it."

As the doors closed behind the Titans, Sawchak's face darkened. "You've earned all of it," he hissed. The man strode over to his desk before punching the intercom to life. "Madeline, call Stewart. Tell him I have a job for him."


Author's Note: As always, please tell me what you think. I appreciate it. Theories? Criticism? Praise? Shout 'em out. Until next time.

Balkoth