Chapter 9: The Good Fight

Consider the odds,
Consider the obvious.
The martyr is meaningless,
The campaign has died.
In the planning stages and the fallen faces
Are the singular proof that it was ever alive.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mer," Jen said into the phone.

"Hey Jen," Meredith said as she relaxed against the wall in a deserted hallway.

"You sound tired. And stressed. I think you need some sleep."

Meredith rolled her eyes, despite the fact Jen couldn't see it, "Let me remind you of the fact that you are my little sister. You don't boss around the older sister. The older sister bosses around the little sister. It's one of the unbreakable rules of sisterhood."

"Okay, fine," Jen said into the phone, complying with Meredith, "I think you might want to get some rest. It may help you feel better. Not that I know anything, considering that I'm four years younger, but I'm just suggesting."

"Yeah, okay," Meredith said with a small laugh, "You can be bossy. It's not you when you are being all nice and only suggesting things."

"That seems like a insult," Jen said before pausing, "But being optimistic, I'll take it as a compliment."

Meredith pushed herself off the wall and began slowly walking up and down the hallway that had a full wall of windows on it, letting the rare Seattle sunshine beam down on her. "You sound like yourself today, Mer. That's a good thing." Meredith didn't respond to that. How was she supposed to anyways? She really didn't want to admit to the fact that she had rarely been herself in over a year. She'd rather just deny it. Denial was much better and Jen knew that Meredith thought that way. "So, how's Dr. Shepherd?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Fine- wait a second," Meredith said, stopping in the middle of the hallway, "I never mentioned Dr. Shepherd to you."

"What?" Jen asked innocently.

"In fact, I never mentioned anyone from Seattle to you. Jennifer Williams, what aren't you telling me?" she asked in a forceful tone.

"So I'm guessing he didn't tell you?" she asked quietly.

"Tell me what?" Meredith snapped.

"About me calling you yesterday and him answering your phone?" she said both hesitantly and awkwardly, not exactly sure how her unstable older sister would react.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, refusing to believe that Dr. Shepherd had actually crossed the line from her professional life to her personal life.

"You were asleep he said something about you freezing," she stopped at her last word, instantly regretting going that far. She could only hear silence on the line, but she knew there was screaming going on in Meredith's head. "That's what I wanted to talk about."

"I can't do this right now," Meredith said, "I'm at work and I have a surgery on a hospital board member's wife in an hour. I can't do this right now," she repeated, trying to keep her mind together as she paced in a small circle, her hand pressed against her head in frustration.

"Meredith, calm down," Jen said. She wasn't being forceful or demanding. She knew that would do nothing for her hurt sister. She said it in a soothing voice; the same voice she used when her daughters woke up panic-stricken from nightmares. "He was just worried about you. You have someone looking out for you in Seattle, Mer. That's a good thing."

"I don't need to be looked after," she said determinedly into the phone.

Jen didn't want to fight it, so she dropped it. She sighed dramatically before changing the subject, "There was something else that I was calling about."

"What?" Meredith snapped again.

"Today, we, well me and the girls, we ran into Daniel," she said hesitantly, "He doesn't look good, Mer."

Meredith waited a moment, trying to figure out how to respond. As the sound of her pager ripped through the hair, she realized she didn't have any other time to think. "Well, that's just wonderful for Daniel," she spat, hating the bitter taste of his name in her mouth. "I have to go Jen." She hung up her phone and walked down the hallway back to the rest of civilization.


"Derek can I speak to you?" the Chief said across the busy hall.

Derek turned around and looked at his boss, "Uh, I'm heading up to the OR," he said, trying to come up with an excuse to avoid this conversation. He had an idea of what it was going to be about and he really didn't feel like lying to the man who saved him from the hellhole called New York.

"It'll just take a minute," the Chief answered, one hand rubbing his temples, expressing the stress of being Chief.

Derek didn't say anything at first, trying to come up with something. Finding himself empty handed, he gave in, "Yeah, okay." He walked over to the Chief, hoping to keep this conversation private.

"I know you didn't know Dr. Grey before, but do you anything about what is going on?" the Chief asked quietly, but sternly. Apparently he didn't want people to overhear either.

"Before? Before what?" Derek asked. He thought maybe he could get some insight from the Chief as to who Meredith Grey really was, with or without him completely realizing what he was revealing.

The Chief's forehead wrinkled in thought, "Before… before she came here," he said slowly.

It was obvious to Derek that something else had crossed his mind, but he hadn't wanted to say it. It just confirmed his belief that Meredith Grey really wasn't always as dark and twisty as she'd presented herself to be. "I don't know anything," Derek said shaking his head, "I just met her."

"It's just… She's usually quite competitive," the Chief explained. Derek just nodded to ensure that he was actually listening. "It's not like her to give up any surgery. Even if it means she'll be in the OR for 24 hours. She's very dedicated."

"Doing a simpler procedure doesn't mean she's any less dedicated. Mrs. Yeatts deserves that surgery just as much as the Mayor's daughter deserves hers," Derek answered defensively.

"I know, I know. That's not what I'm saying," he answered. Derek just waited for him to explain just what he exactly was saying. "Ah, never mind. Forget I said anything," he said brushing it off before walking away.

Derek turned around and headed to the OR. He knew that the Chief wasn't trying to sound rude, but Derek didn't know any other way to get out of that situation. He was extremely thankful that the Chief had yet to connect any of the dots. The last thing he knew Meredith needed was for one of those paramedics or interns telling the Chief of Surgery about her freezing up.


"Dr. Karev. The surgery started twenty minutes ago," Meredith said without even looking up from her patient.

"Sorry, Dr. Grey," the man said as he got his gloves on and headed near the side of the OR.

Meredith concentrated on what she was doing, never letting her eyes leave the patient. "I didn't page you so you could stand there," she said coldly.

He was a little surprised by her words, but he hurried over to her side, hesitant to do anything. "I've been told to never let you near an open brain," she said as if it was a normal conversation, "But I'm willing to take my chances." She took another tool from the nurse and then finally looked up at Dr. Karev, "Have you ever performed a minor clipping?"

"No," he answered quickly.

She focused back on the open brain for a few minutes, attempting to get control of the blood flow before proceeding. "Well, you better learn. I believe the phrase 'see one, do one, teach one,' was what my resident told me."

He just nodded, still not sure what he was supposed to do. "Have any interests in neuro, Karev?"

"I guess," he answered.

She chuckled at his response, "Plastics, huh?" He just nodded again, "Yeah, well, not today." She backed away from the patient and gestured for Karev to take her place. "Check for connective tissue," Meredith instructed, "But be careful that it doesn't rupture. This woman doesn't need any hemorrhaging."

He did as he was told, impressing Meredith slightly. Apparently she was correct in questioning Cristina's comments. Meredith looked up at the gallery and saw Derek. He looked down at the charts in his hands, trying to avoid her eyes. Despite his attempts, she saw that smile on his face.


"You did good work Karev," Meredith said as Dr. Karev threw his paper towels away.

"It's Alex," he said before opening the door. He looked back at Meredith, "And thanks."

Meredith gave him a small smile before continuing to wash her hands. As the door began to swing shut behind him, something caught it. Meredith looked back and saw Derek.

"That was rather nice," he said, crossing his arms across his chest as he walked towards her.

She turned off the water and grabbed some paper towels, "Why is Karev doubted around here? I've heard about five people say things about his lacking ability."

Derek watched her, unsure of her intentions with this conversation. "A few months ago, him and Dr. O'Malley were stuck in an elevator during a power outage with a GSW to the chest."

Meredith threw the towels away and leaned against the sink, matching Derek's eyes, "And?"

"He started to fail and we tried to open the doors, but they didn't get them open far. Dr. Burke told them that they were going to have to open him up right there. Dr. O'Malley flew solo," Derek explained, choosing his words carefully.

"What about Alex?"

Derek looked at her doubtfully, not wanting to say the words on the tip of his tongue, "He froze."

Meredith looked down and Derek saw all that strength she'd been holding onto for the past few hours slowly slip away. He took a step closer to her and her body immediately tensed, stopping him midstep. "A surgeon may freeze, but that doesn't mean that they will again," she said slowly as she looked back up at him.

"Meredith, I-"

"No," she said cutting him off as she moved away from him, "I know you weren't trying to say I couldn't do the girl's surgery. I just wanted you to know. I'm still a surgeon. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves second chances."

Derek watched as Meredith walked out of the scrub room. He thought he was helping her by getting her off that case. After all, she went along with it. He wasn't trying to say she wasn't a good surgeon.