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Smile for the Camera
It had taken Beast Boy longer than he'd thought possible to weed through the Madeline's in the city. Eventually he'd found her. The reunion had not been pleasant. At first, the girl refused to speak to them. Beast Boy and Drew had tried everything to get the recently fired girl her to open up, but she'd been reluctant to talk. When Madeline did finally start talking it was to tell tales of overwhelming pressure and strong-arming. Apparently, Sawchak wasn't just a lawyer: he was a well-connected young man with a vindictive nature and a perfect memory.
Sitting in Madeline's cramped one-room apartment, pressing her for information and consoling her when she broke into tears, Beast Boy began to understand that his friends were dealing with something rivaling their other experiences. Beast Boy had thanked Madeline profusely and departed. He felt horrible, and his feeling of disgust only intensified when he remembered that the poor girl's every moment of weakness had been immortalized by Drew.
Even days after the fact, the trouble Beast Boy had started between Starfire and Robin was still at a high pitch, mainly because Starfire was protective. And Beast Boy was still having Sarah Rose write Robin letters posing as a rabid fan-girl. It was creepy how good she was at it. Every day without fail, there was a new love note in the mail. Some were generic – the usual fan-girl gibberish and easily dismissed. Some of them made Beast Boy feel genuinely sorry for his leader, even when he knew that the girl hounding Robin didn't exist.
As Beast Boy had planned Stewart was having a field day. The barbed questions and vague allegations had started slowly as Stewart got his feet under him and collected information. Now it was nothing short of verbal bombardment. Beast Boy had taken to avoiding Robin and Starfire, and not just because he needed to work on the counter-documentary. He didn't want to deal with the tension flying around the two friends. He also really didn't want to deal with Stewart and Claire. They were both vicious, though Claire still seemed to posses a little common-decency.
Raven and Sarah Rose had been hard to find during the day, often disappearing for hours at a time without explanation. Beast Boy suspected that the empath was trying to find Sawchak still. He didn't think she was having very much luck, and he missed having the demoness around. Raven was better at planning and logistics. Beast Boy needed the dark girl around now more than ever: he was making a mess of everything he touched.
ooooo
Sleep had been eluding him for hours. Beast Boy tossed and turned in bed, the half moon shining in through his bedroom window. Drew's camera was resting in its tripod, blessedly turned off. Drew was in the bunk under Beast Boy. He was snoring. Beast Boy turned over again, successfully cocooning himself in his blankets. Drew's snoring was only part of the reason Beast Boy couldn't sleep.
He flattened himself against his mattress and strained his ears. It always helped Beast Boy relax to hear his friend's breathing as they slept; to hear their hearts beating; to hear Cyborg preparing himself a midnight snack regardless of the actual time of night. Beast Boy listened for his friends, but it didn't bring him the peace it should have. Instead of the four people he was so used to, the changeling heard seven people, only three of them familiar. Raven and Sarah Rose were still missing. Beast Boy frowned and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep and knowing that it wasn't going to work.
His eyelids were heavy, and slowly, lash by painful lash, they began to close.
Beast Boy shot up in bed. He wasn't sure if he had dozed off or not. He could hear someone moving around. Beast Boy climbed down from the top bunk silently, his keen eyes allowing him to exit without running into anything and waking Drew.
Beast Boy flitted from shadow to shadow without a sound as he approached the living room. The changeling paused before the door and closed his eyes. On the other side of the door Beast Boy could hear a very familiar heartbeat. The doors slid open and the elf stepped inside.
"Hey, Raven," Beast Boy said before his eyes actually found the girl. He knew she was in here.
"Beast Boy…" Raven replied. He used the response to pinpoint her. Raven was sitting at her reading spot, a large notebook open in her lap and a teacup and saucer hovering next to her hand. "What are you wearing?"
Beast Boy looked down at himself and groaned at his own stupidity. He hadn't bothered to change before leaving his room. The usual uniform of purple and black that Beast Boy wore had been replaced with an oversized shirt and a pair of boxers decorated with small yellow ducks. Beast Boy tried to stop the embarrassed blush creeping up his face. It didn't help much. When Beast Boy looked up he was grateful to see that Raven had gone back to her notebook, though the changeling didn't miss the smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. There was a blanket shrouded in black hovering in front of him. Beast Boy took the blanket and wrapped it around his waist.
"What's that?" Beast Boy chuckled nervously once he had covered himself better. He walked over to Raven and sat down next to her. Raven handed him the notebook in response. There were a number of addresses and names arranged in a large list, many of them crossed out in black ink. A few had been marked with a red star. "So…" Beast Boy started again after perusing the list, "what is it?"
"A list," Raven chuckled.
"I see that," Beast Boy sighed exasperatedly, "but a list of what?" Raven gently took the notebook back and placed a thick black line through one of the names.
"Of people I need to talk to. I checked the rental logs, but Sawchak didn't rent that office through normal channels. He used middlemen, pseudonyms, and switched locations at the last minute more than once. These are the landlords, possible middlemen, and janitorial staffs." Beast Boy let out a low whistle. He'd known Raven had been looking for Sawchak. What he hadn't known was what that task entailed.
"How can you be sure Jefferson Sawchak isn't a fake name?"
"You heard him, Beast Boy. Do you honestly think he wants to hide from us? No, Sawchak wants us to know exactly who we're dealing with and why." Raven closed the notebook and leaned back into the couch. Beast Boy followed suite. The green boy closed his eyes and just listened. Raven's presence alone seemed to offer him some peace. Distantly, Beast Boy could hear a new heartbeat – he assumed it was Sarah Rose's – further into the tower, already slowing with sleep
"Sawchak's a lawyer, right," Beast Boy said with a small yawn. "Why don't we just check with big law firms?" As he spoke, Beast Boy kept his eyes closed. He was more tired than he'd thought. He could hear Raven shifting next to him. The green teen grudgingly opened his eyes and turned to face his friend. Raven was frowning.
"I already have. He's probably in a private practice. We won't find him through his work." They were silent for a minute. "You found the intern. What did she say?" Raven asked. Beast Boy related his conversation with Madeline and watched as Raven's frown became more and more pronounced.
"You haven't found Sawchak yet. Do you need help with that?" Beast Boy offered. There was nothing left to explain, no one left to interview, and Beast Boy did not want to be stuck in the tower alone, waiting for Raven to locate Sawchak. Raven shook her head, too quickly in Beast Boy's opinion.
"You need to stay here and distract the cameras. Everybody knows I'm the anti-social girl who never leaves her room. My absence can be overlooked. But if anybody notices and starts asking questions, you need to be here to redirect." Beast Boy scowled at Raven. The bitterness in her voice hurt him. He could only imagine what the words were doing to Raven. The empath ignored Beast Boy's reproachful glance and continued; "How would it look if Stewart started playing up the fact that the evil demon on the team not only avoids her teammates but also disappears without explanation?"
Beast Boy wasn't sure what to say. Everything Raven had said made sense, as much as he hated to admit it. Still, Beast Boy couldn't bring himself to stand up and walk away. He wanted to talk to Raven – they both needed it – but Beast Boy had no clue what to say.
"You never did forgive me, you know," Beast Boy said. The hollowness of his own voice scared him. He'd gone with the first thing that came to his mind and instantly regretted it. This was a bad time to bring up personal problems. Raven looked up at Beast Boy, locking eyes with him. Deep violet pools bore into Beast Boy's eyes. He wished Raven's emotions were as easy to read as he knew his own were.
"Yes, I did," Raven whispered. It was a soft confession, almost too quiet to be heard, yet it made the entire room look brighter in Beast Boy's eyes. Beast Boy looked away and broke eye contact.
"You never said anything," Beast Boy responded, his voice devoid of emotion. Raven actually laughed. In truth, it was more of a suppressed chuckle, but it got Beast Boy's attention all the same. The changeling looked back at Raven to find her smiling at him. Not truly laughing at him, not truly mocking him – just smiling at him.
"How often do I actually apologize?" Raven asked with a smirk. Thinking back on it, Beast Boy could come up with maybe four instances of Raven apologizing in the six years he'd known her. Not apologizing just to him, though. In six years Raven had apologized maybe four times. Twice had been to him, once had been to Starfire, and one more had been to Cyborg.
"You don't," Beast Boy supplied, "but it would make it a lot easier for other people if you did something to let them know they were off the hook," Beast Boy grinned back at Raven, feeling better in that moment than he had in weeks. Raven's smirk slipped away.
"Should I start keeping track of brownie points?"
"Would you?" Beast Boy asked quickly. Then he realized she was mocking him. The change was so subtle that it took Beast Boy a moment to figure out why Raven was looking at him like he'd sprouted a second head. "Of course not…" Beast Boy mumbled, more to himself than to Raven, but he knew she'd heard him.
"You don't need to worry too much, Beast Boy," Raven sighed. She reached up and took her tea from its levitating perch. Raven took a small sip of the warmed liquid before continuing. "I learned the hard way that it's impossible to stay mad at you."
"Really?" Raven's words had fazed him, but the changeling was recovering quickly. "You could have fooled me." Raven groaned when she saw Beast Boy giving her a Cheshire cat grin.
"You can't let compliments go, can you?" Raven said, her voice shifting back into the vague apathy that colored so much of Raven's life. Beast Boy grinned cheekily.
"Sorry, I just can tell what's a compliment and what isn't. It might help if you didn't sound so pained," he responded airily, making sure that Raven knew he was joking. Beast Boy thought he got the message across; he hoped Raven knew he was kidding. The last time he'd tried being witty and Raven had taken the friendly banter as an attack had ended poorly for the green elf.
"You want to hear pained?" Raven asked quietly. Her teacup rose into the air shrouded in black magic. Beast Boy panicked when he saw the steam rising from the cup. He started to relax as soon as the up and down motion of Raven's shoulders registered. She was laughing.
"Hey!" Beast Boy called. Beast Boy lowered his arms and scowled at Raven. He didn't remember putting his hands up, but there was no mistaken the position that so clearly begged for people not to shoot. The slight glint in his eyes gave away what Beast Boy really thought of the joke. "That isn't funny! I mean, you could have just scared me for life. You've dumped tea on me before…"
"Cold tea," Raven cut off Beast Boy's rant. He mistook the correction as evidence of Raven's kindness until she continued; "I have never wasted fresh tea on you." He wasn't sure how to respond to that. As Beast Boy mulled over his possible responses, he began to feel like something was wrong. It only took a few seconds for him to figure out what it was, and once Beast Boy had figured it out he was terrified.
"Hey, Stewart," Beast Boy called as calmly as he could. Beast Boy watched Raven's eyes shoot open in response to his words as the empath tried to maintain control. "Don't you ever sleep?" Beast Boy asked, still sitting on the couch, mainly because he was afraid his knees would start a rendition of Stomp if he tried to stand up.
"I could ask the two of you the same question, no?" Stewart replied gruffly. His voice rung like a gun shot in the previously calm and relaxed air. Beast Boy chanced a real look over at Stewart and was rewarded with a piercing gaze from a blood red light. Stewart walked down the steps slowly. Beast Boy saw the living room doors slide shut. It surprised him that Raven and he hadn't noticed the doors opening. There was no telling how long Stewart had been recording them. Judging by the glint in Stewart's eyes, Beast Boy was willing to bet it had been too long.
"So, Beast Boy, Raven, what are you doing up at this hour?" Stewart asked calmly as he panned around the empty room. Beast Boy bit back a groan when Stewart's camera lingered on the broken clock in the kitchen that always read 3:17. That was just what they needed. It was late, but it wasn't as late as that one well-placed shot would make it seem.
"It wouldn't have anything to do with why the two of you have been so secretive, would it?" Stewart continued. Beast Boy threw a glance in Raven's direction but the demoness was completely composed. Stewart fixed his camera on the couch and the two Titans occupying it. Stewart looked straight into Beast Boy's eyes. The changeling could feel the probe in the gaze. Stewart was measuring him up, studying his reactions and looking for a weakness.
"What makes you think we've been secretive?" Raven asked skeptically. Beast Boy marveled at the art of the question. A flat out denial could come back and bite them, but a mocking question was just as effective at deflecting attention. Stewart wasn't deterred.
"I guess I misspoke," Stewart replied lightly. "What I mean is that you and Beast Boy have been hard people to find recently. Are you always so hard to find?" Stewart asked with a light smirk. He'd taken the same approach as Raven.
"Have we been hard to find?" Beast Boy asked. He cursed himself immediately for trying to join the sparring match between Stewart and Raven. Both of them were out of his league. "I mean, I've been here most of the time," Beast Boy amended quickly.
"That's true," Stewart conceded with a small nod. Beast Boy didn't like that. "I was actually referring more to Raven here." Stewart fixed the camera on Raven specifically. "Robin was looking for you earlier. Did you know that?" A shadow of shock sprinted across Raven's features. Beast Boy hoped the camera hadn't caught it, but he knew, inside, that their luck wasn't that good.
"I was out," Raven remarked as if Stewart was pointing out the most mundane thing imaginable. "Robin knows I always have my communicator with me." Beast Boy looked back and forth between the two verbal combatants, watching an intense volley only he could see. Beast Boy wasn't sure, but it almost seemed like Raven had just implied Stewart was lying. It hadn't been anything in her voice or even in her actions. There was just something about her in that moment.
Stewart reached up with one hand a flicked a switch on the camera. The all-seeing eye winked out.
"Maybe I was looking for you, then," Stewart said. Beast Boy was horrified by the change in his voice. The Stewart the changeling had come to despise and fear in equal measure always spoke with a jovial, somewhat grandfatherly rasp that only hinted at the malice in his eyes. With the camera off and all unfriendly eyes and ears gone, Stewart sounded as harsh as his eyes looked.
"Starfire and Robin might have gotten into a nice heart-to-heart today," Stewart continued. Beast Boy stiffened in his seat. He had a very bad feeling about this. "I might have stepped out for a bit and let Claire document the event. Meanwhile, I might have gone looking for the rest of your team. I might have found Cyborg easily enough and then left. Then I might have gone looking for Beast Boy and eavesdropped on an interesting conversation, allowing me to make an interesting discovery. After that discovery, I might have gone looking for you, Raven."
"Imagine my surprise," Stewart whispered, "when I discovered that you were missing. I may have talked to Starfire later and seen a flash of recognition on her face before being supplied with a nice little lie that didn't stand up under scrutiny." Stewart had gotten closer as he spoke, eyes boring holes through everything they saw. Beast Boy tried, unsuccessfully, to still his beating heart.
Beast Boy glanced at Raven out of the corner of his eye. She looked perfectly collected, but Beast Boy could smell her fear. If there was anything that could have made the changeling more nervous that was it. Raven didn't do fear.
"You don't have anything but suspicions," Beast Boy spoke up, rashly disregarding the alarms blaring in his head, screaming at him to shut up and make himself small. Raven needed help. Stewart calmly turned to Beast Boy and regarded the boy as if he'd just registered his presence. Beast Boy drew away from the gaze, wishing that his voice had come out stronger. Beast Boy continued, disregarding the warning he was getting from Raven.
"If you had anything you would have confronted us or brought in Sawchak again. You don't have anything; you won't get anything." Beast Boy glared at Stewart. The ancient man returned the look.
"Is that a challenge?"
"It's a fact," Beast Boy said simply as he settled deeper into the couch. "How can you get anything when there isn't anything to get?" Beast Boy waited for Stewart's response. The wizened man's brows arched before he pivoted and walked out of the room. The confident clicking of his dress shoes against the floor made it all too clear to Beast Boy that this was merely a tactical retreat on his part. The room was completely silent once Stewart departed. Beast Boy smirked at Raven. The empath closed her eyes, no doubt searching for Stewart's nearby aura, before nodding and opening her eyes once more.
"I'm impressed," Raven said dryly. It wasn't her usual dry voice. Raven took her still hovering teacup and placed the now cold liquid to her lips, trying to restore the moisture to her mouth. Beast Boy couldn't stop himself from shivering. Raven had actually been afraid. "How did you know he didn't have anything concrete?"
"Well, I had a good teacher," Beast Boy drew out the sentence and realized he'd been acting on his intuition alone. No, it hadn't even been his intuition. Beast Boy's intuition had been telling him to shut up. He'd acted for the sole reason that he'd recognized Raven needed his help. He was just beginning to wrap his mind around that and what it would have meant if he had been wrong. He left the explanation hanging. He'd acted on his emotions alone.
"Who?" Raven asked.
"Now who can't let compliments go?" Beast Boy chuckled. Raven was only confused for a second before a smile broke through her emotionless mask. Raven drained the last of her tea and stood to leave. With a small wave of her hand, her empty cup and saucer flew to the seemingly endless supply of dirty dishes near the sink.
Beast Boy stood up as well. The changeling stretched his arms over his head to work out all the stiffness. He hadn't been able to sleep earlier, but there was no denying that Beast Boy was tired. Raven watched her teammate as he stretched, oblivious to his surroundings or the blanket that was beginning to slip down from his waist.
Beast Boy had been so trusting during this entire ordeal. Even when things looked to be at their worst, Beast Boy was ready to look up to Raven and trust her judgement. And when her judgement failed Beast Boy was ready to jump into the fray – at his own expense – in order to buy her time. His trust was touching, and Raven wasn't positive how well placed it was.
He had been through so much, seen so much, done so much, lost so much. Raven had always suspected that Beast Boy was more than a green comedian, but the truth behind the changeling was shocking. Raven had avoided mentioning her trip into his most secret memories, mainly because she wasn't sure what she should do or say. Instead of being offended, instead of pressing the subject, Beast Boy just let it slide. He let it slide, she knew, because he trusted that Raven would address it when it needed to be addressed. Raven wasn't too sure about that.
Beast Boy grabbed Raven's notebook once he'd finished stretching and tossed it to the quiet girl. She seemed in her own little world, and Beast Boy almost cried out a warning when it seemed the notebook would hit her.
The notebook stopped mere centimeters from Raven's nose. The empath looked from the notebook back to Beast Boy. Violet pools connected with Beast Boy's eyes and he could tell that something was bothering her. Raven's emotions were still guarded (Beast Boy had no real reason to think something was bothering the demoness) but he just had a feeling.
"What's up, Rae," Beast Boy said as the girl in question took her notebook from its floating position. She seemed to debate with herself before speaking. Beast Boy waited attentively for her to choose her words.
"We haven't really gotten a chance to talk recently. How have you been doing, Beast Boy?" The changeling grinned at the awkwardness of Raven's question. She needed practice with the whole emotion thing, and after the stress of staring down Stewart, Beast Boy couldn't think of anything in the world that was funnier. Raven's calm and collected exterior rippled and split when confronted with emotions. Beast Boy had seen it before, though usually he was never the reason. It felt good.
"I guess I'm holding on," Beast Boy replied honestly. "There are times when it all seems like just another game with Cyborg. But usually I'm just nervous. And I keep getting the feeling I'm going to do or say something wrong." Beast Boy faltered in his explanation as he tried to figure out how to express his thoughts. "I've been feeling guilty for no reason. I'll feel sad and not know why…" Beast Boy trailed off for a moment. "Did you do anything when you were… you know… in my head?" The elf looked up hesitantly. It had been something on his mind for a while, gnawing at him, but he'd pushed it back each time, only to have more trouble pushing it away next time.
Raven only nodded. She had done what had seemed like a good idea at the time. She had done what seemed necessary. Now, it seemed like a stupid and manipulative thing to do.
"You remember when you found out about the collapsed roof?" Raven prodded gently. Beast Boy nodded. He remembered. It seemed a lifetime away. Still, he could vividly feel the shock and on-setting depression. Yet at the same time, they seemed like somebody else's emotions. Almost as if they had been numbed. There had been a presence pulling him away from the emotions. Beast Boy's gaze snapped up and fixed on Raven's face. She looked guilty. And sorry. Beast Boy felt the accusatory glare slipping away before it had truly formed.
Raven could almost see the cogs clicking together in Beast Boy's head. She wasn't sure what to expect, but Raven knew that she would have been livid if somebody else had invaded her mind without express permission. Beast Boy frowned at his bare feet.
Then he yawned.
"Well, I'm going to bed. Night, Rae!" Beast Boy called as he walked out of the room with the blanket wrapped tightly around his waist. Beast Boy paused in the threshold. "We should probably talk when all this is done," he suggested before disappearing. Raven could only stare after him. He'd been through so much; and he was so forgiving.
Raven shook her head before heading for her own room. She needed to meditate a little before she went to sleep.
Author's Note: There we have it. Another happy chapter of Smile for the Camera, Smile, or SFTC. Which one depends on which you prefer and how lazy you are. :-) Please, take a moment to tell me what you think. Good, bad, neutral, queries, randomness...Oh, and before I forget, the next chapter will either be out either very soon (less than a week), or, more likely, very long. Readers of old will be used to it. Sorry guys. Life has a habit of getting in the way and I'm going on vacation.
