For cricket song, ask and ye shall receive. (Sorry if it's terrible.)

In response to the questioning masses: Lots of people have been asking about who was supposed to have written this. In my head it was, originally, penned by … No. Wait. That would be way too easy. These Rules were originally authored by someone who attends school in the Harry Potter era so, during the books rather than in MWPP era or when Tom Riddle was attending school. I would like to see who you think did it. Because I'm weirdly curious and enjoy finding out what other people think.
I'm not saying I won't post if I don't receive guesses or reviews, because I will. In fact, if I receive seventeen thousand requests to shut up and stop posting, I'll still update this thing. But it'd be nice to see your thoughts on the matter.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. And thanks to Rebecca Ann Black, neither is Fred Weasley… well, not yet. -Grin-


5 GOLDEN RULES FOR EYE-TWINKLERS

1. Find humour in the misfortune of others. Rather than point and laugh, publicly revelling in their misfortune, allow your eyes to twinkle instead. No one can tell when you are laughing at them, no one gets irritated by it and no one has the urge to drown you in a giant vat of tapioca pudding when you do it.

2. Examine the behaviour of others, while also reading up on anything and everything you can find. This will allow you to get a maddeningly superior form of eye-twinkle whenever anyone says or does anything that you may be able to, or appear to be able to, read deeper meaning into.

3. People like it when they ask you a question and your only response is an eye twinkle. It gives them warm, fuzzy feelings. More so than an actual answer or response would, any day.

4. Should someone comment on your eye-twinkling, feign ignorance.

5. Eye twinkling gains people's trust and admiration with minimum input from the twinkler in question. It is a weapon and you should treat it as such. Eye-twinklers have shown 79 more likely to rise to positions of authority with ease. It is not ethical to eye-twinkle when arguing with loved ones, duelling to the death or running for public office.

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HEALER'S GENERAL WARNING: Eye twinkling is generally considered harmless, however excessive eye twinkling can signal health problems which may be fatal. Most Eye-twinklers are identified at an early age and given their placement on the Sparkle Scale. If you feel your twinkle rise two or more positions on the Sparkle Scale, or you exceed seven sparkles, seek medical advice immediately. If you eyes glow in the dark it is also recommended that you seek medical attention.

Eye-Twinklers are also more prone to such conditions as X-ray vision, Death Ray eyes and 'Cartoon eyes' (eyes that pop out of one's head when startled). All perfectly treatable, do not panic.