Even as the echoes of the intercom bell slowly dimmed and stopped, the classrooms disgorged their caged students. The flow towards the restrooms, the schoolyard, spread teenage life like bacteria across the school. Deep in the heart of the mass was Allison, moving slowly and letting the other kids stream past her.
Her first class had been dull - she'd never seen the point in needing to learn German, although it had given her plenty of time to think. Whilst others had been working hard on trying to remember words that sounded nothing like fireplace and cabbage, Allison had sat at the back, reading her text book with her eyes only, whilst her mind roamed free. This was a skill she'd honed over the years as she slid into the dark, solitary persona adopted to discourage anyone from getting too close to her. It allowed her the freedom to travel inside her mind to wherever she pleased, whenever she wanted, with whoever she wished. Invariably, this would be with her father, back to the places she had been happiest, at times before the final knock at the door had signalled the arrival of the men in the white dress uniforms, bringing the news that had changed her life forever.
She was always the same then as now - tall, dark-eyed, dressed in black, a split-second away from being surly and withdrawn. Her father, however, had always been as he was when she was seven: clean-shaven, cropped hair, fatigues, with bright eyes and a smile that would forever be just for her. And this was the one thing that drew her away from the edge, the abyss that in her waking and sleeping moments had so often seemed like the only option for her at the end of a lonely walk.
Now though, there was something different. Back in class, whilst the harsh, guttural sounds of her fellow students working on their impersonal pronouns echoed around her, she had sat on a hillside with her father, talking to him about Andrew. She had told him of the weekend, of the journey travelled by her four companions, of the moment when she let the others in. She spoke of moving from telling the group the things she wanted them to believe ("my home life is... unsatisfying") to speaking the words she actually wanted them to hear. The moment she said "yes" to Claire, who had seen a spark of the girl hidden behind the facade. The moment when, still so unsure, she had glanced over to Brian, and seen the confirmation in his face. The moment when she finally came face to face with Andrew, and in his speechless state she began to dare. To dare to live again. To dare to dream that she might have someone to be honest with - completely honest.
"Jeez - what did you do to yourself?"
The voice clicked Allison back to reality, back to the present. Turning her head, she was Bender leaning against the lockers, looking her up and down. Of all the kids she'd shared the weekend with, he was the one she's found hardest to connect with. It wasn't because his life was any easier or any tougher than hers, it's just that she had no way of grasping the concept of having a father that wasn't wanted, that wasn't perfect.
"Hi... John" she stumbled, not sure how to address him, how to act around him.
"Man you sure look different today. Going for the sporty type now?" asked Bender, unable to stop himself from teasing her. It's the way he'd always been: make them feel bad, and you feel good.
"Have you seen Andy today?", she asked, not quite reading the signs and half-believing that he was really interested.
"These are jeans, not tights" he laughed. "Not quite my style, Toots!"
Suddenly they were interrupted by whistles and shouts, as Bender's associates turned the corner, and saw him talking to Allison. As usual, they immediately assumed that any conversation Bender had with a girl was bound to be an attempt to pick her up. Before today they would have been correct.
Bender shot a glance over to them. He knew he wasn't ready to explain how much he had learnt about himself and others over the course of that Saturday, but a part of him hated them for being the same as they always were.
Glancing back to Allison, he saw nothing but empty space. She was already ten paces down the hall and getting faster with every step. He wanted to call after her, talk to her, explain to her, as one of the only four people in school who would understand. But with the guys watching, he knew he wouldn't do that.
Her face hidden from view, Allison fought back the tears. So much for her had changed since Saturday morning. It must have impacted the others as well. In her anger at Bender and his friends, she started to doubt whether the signs she'd seen in Andrew's face were as genuine as her own feelings.
Walking on slowly down the hall, she stopped at the water fountain to splash her face before her next class, and that's where she overheard the conversation, and all the color drained from her face.
"Yeah - his father is in with the Principal now. Dunno how bad it is, but he won't be wrestling with a broken leg, that's for sure..."
