A/N: Okay, so not at all where I expected to go here, but once again, Jim and Pam just lead me and I'm a follower. It's kind of scary that I'm following fictional characters in my head, but hey, what can you do? I'm debating letting this chapter be the last because I think it sums up a lot of the change Pam has undergone, but I really hate when stories end with sex as the cure-all because it's totally not. And sex is not the epitome of a relationship that is great and lovely--it can cause so much brokenness and hurt, and sex isn't love, which I think a lot of people relate it to. Which is why I've never written the smut stories before--I just don't like them. But, Pam and Jim do, so here you go, my first ever smut and I hope you enjoy it for more than just the sexual manifestations in it.

Thanks for the reviews, please review this chapter too. Like I said, it might be the last chapter. Probably will be, but perhaps Pim/Jam will inspire me a bit. We'll just have to see.

Warnings: Smut.

Disclaimer: Not owned by me... At least the names aren't.


They were sitting on the couch, watching Jerry Maguire for the second time in their relationship. She was aware how different the scene was this time. She wasn't battered or bruise, she was just lying on the couch in his arms, his fingers running through her hair. She was nestled into his chest and she could feel his heart beating. She'd remembered hearing something in school about how when you hold hands with someone, your hearts start to beat in sync within three seconds. She marveled at how with Jim, it seemed all she had to do was look at him for their hearts to start beating together.

She felt something on the back of her head and smiled, knowing it was Jim's lips against her hair, his way of softly reminding her he was there, holding on to her. She glanced down at her feet and smiled when she saw how intertwined with Jim's they were. She couldn't even see where her leg began and where it ended, so integrated with Jim's own. She loved nights like these. Nights where they could just lie on the couch, nothing substantial happening, and just be together.

She loved that about their relationship. They'd been friends for so long that they could just sit in silence, completely okay with not doing or saying anything. She loved that they knew each other so well. She was sure Jim could pry into any of her thoughts at that moment, and she didn't mind. She wanted to share everything with him, even the uncomfortable, awkward things that had once been so ingrained inside her and so hidden from the world she wanted him to know.

It had been a year since she'd left Roy. A year since she'd realized she was in love with Jim. She couldn't say it had been a year since she'd realized how deeply in love with him she was. It hadn't been. She knew she was still falling deeper and deeper in love with him every day. Every smile he flashed her way, every bowl of cereal he poured for her, even every fight they had only strengthened her love for him.

She'd never felt more valued or appreciated than when she was with Jim. With Roy, she'd always felt like she was simply a trophy that he could show off to his friends, evidence that he was getting laid. With Jim, it was different. There was something else there. He was proud of her, and he was proud, more than she'd ever seen him, of being with her. She could tell by the way he talked about her to his friends, the way he protectively put his arm around her and brought her closer in public. It wasn't in an ownership way at all, not like Roy had done it, it was in a proud way, as if to say, 'Look how great we fit together. Look what I found.' She loved the way he made her feel. As if nothing in the world was better than her.

She could tell how deeply he cared for her and her feelings. With Roy, everything had been mechanical, sexual. With Jim, it wasn't so. It wasn't that Jim didn't want to have sex with her, it was that he was waiting for her to be ready. It had been almost a year since they'd started dating, and he'd held out. He'd been holding out since he met her. Not that he hadn't had sex since he'd been at Dunder-Mifflin, but he hadn't had good sex. His omission, not hers. She wouldn't tell him, but she was kind of nervous about it.

She'd only had sex with one man, and it was Roy. It had been good every now and then, but deep down, she knew it wasn't all sex could be. She couldn't understand the hype of sex when she was with Roy. Sure, she got her orgasms, but that was just three seconds of heaven. The rest was mostly chore. Toward the last few years of their relationship, sex had become something that wasn't talked about. Roy let her know, in words or in other ways, when he wanted it, and she obliged, wanting to make him happy. Or at least wanting to get him off her back. Eventually, it'd gotten to the point of where it was the night Jim found her. Quick, painful, and satisfying only to him.

She was sure Jim wasn't like Roy in that department. Just the fact that he'd wait for her was enough to convince her of that. But she didn't know. She wasn't sure what sex looked like out of the unfriendly picture Roy had painted for her the past ten years. And more than that, if it was what sex really looked like, she didn't want to taint her relationship with Jim by bringing that mess into the equation. She was conflicted between the overwhelming urge to take him, to love him, to show all of herself to him in the most intimate ways and to completely bare her soul to him and the fear that she would be rejected, that it would be horribly unsatisfying and dangerously repulsive.

She felt his hand on her hip and he tapped her lightly and she murmured. "Hmm…" He smiled down at her, she could feel it even though she couldn't see it on his face.

"This is our part," he said softly. She smiled. He always knew when she was out of it. She grinned as she saw Tom Cruise bolt through the doors of Renee's house. She could feel him start to sit up, waiting for that monumental moment. She scooted off his lap, sitting next to him as they watched Tom Cruise make a complete fool of himself.

"You complete me," they heard him say, and they looked at each other skeptically before erupting into fits of laughter. She could feel her stomach getting pains from laughing so hard, and he was having trouble breathing.

"I can't believe you…." He started through fits of laughter, and she knew where he was going next. Back there. Back to that night where she had said she thought it was cute.

"Oh shush, I don't believe it anymore," she said, silencing him with a kiss. She could feel the laughter bubbling out of her and she giggled into his mouth, pulling away softly. He laughed at her, smiling. He smiled back at her, running his fingers over her cheeks and pulling her back for another kiss.

"I'm glad I converted you," he said, smiling.

"Me too," she replied, settling back against him. He turned the movie off and looked at her, willing her to look around. She stared at the TV for a few seconds, seeming to enjoy the silence that had fallen over them. She turned to stare at him, their stomachs touching slightly on the couch. Her mind was reeling. He was so beautiful. She loved every bit of him. She would give up any part of herself to be with him, to make him happy. And the thing she loved most about him, is he would never ask her to. He would never ask her to give up any part of her. He would just be there for her, love her as she was. She didn't have to be anyone different.

"Pam," he said softly, and she smiled, suddenly aware that everything she wanted was holding her, laying next to her, breathing with her. She nodded at him. He bit his lip for a moment, which she knew was his way of telling her that what he was about to say was serious. Important.

"What is it, Jim?" she asked softly.

"I love you," he replied, and she smiled, leaning up to kiss him.

"I love you too, you big goofball." She smiled and he laughed. She could feel his stomach vibrating against her own and she giggled. "Was that all that serious lip biting was for? Just an I love you?"

"Nope." He smiled at her, and she looked at him quizzically. "I was wondering how you would feel…" he trailed off, maintaining eye contact with her and he touched her chin, making sure she was looking at him. "I love you. There's just nothing more I can say to preface this than that, but there it is. I love you, and I want to marry you. And I know I've told you that a million times before, but now I'm asking… Will you marry me, Pam?"

She was nodding. She wasn't willing herself to do it, it was just happening. As if her body knew so much what her heart wanted that her mind wasn't even able to contemplate it. She wasn't even thinking. She knew if she was, there would be the same result, but she was lying on the couch with the man of her dreams, nodding at his proposal. Thinking how beautiful it was. And then she opened her mouth to say yes. To tell him how much she loved him. How much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. How perfectly he fit her. How he was all she ever wanted.

But that's not what came out. Instead, a high pitched giggle erupted out of her, and she was unable to contain it. She was giggling against his chest in her infectious way, and he was watching her, laughing. She could feel him laughing. She was laughing like he hadn't seen her laugh in so long, a rolling on the floor type of laughter, except she was on the couch, trying not to fall off, which only made her laugh harder.

"Mmm. Our future is hilarious," he said, and she continued to laugh, harder and harder until she was gasping for air. When she'd finally settled down, she smiled and looked up at him.

"Sometimes words just don't work, you know?" she asked, and he smiled, running his fingers through her hair. He nodded and she smiled up at him. "I guess I never gave you an answer, did I?"

"Well, you laughed. I'm not sure how to feel about that." He said, a lopsided grin on his face. He knew he had her. He knew what was coming. But he felt compelled to ask again, "Will you marry me?"

She smiled, and at first he thought she was going to be serious, but it seemed she was in a silly mood that wasn't planning on escaping her anytime soon. "Does Dawson have a creek? Does Dwight have a Bobblehead? Am I wearing a blue shirt? Is Tom Cruise corny?" She laughed again and he joined her. And then, she seemed to lose all of her sillyness for the time being and she looked up at him and smiled. "Will I marry you? Absolutely, I will."

He smiled as he slipped the ring on her finger. He could feel his heart flying. His entire body seemed to be flying as he contemplated his future with her. She leaned up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his body and he felt like he could stay there forever and not move at all.

Pam's mind drifted back to her last proposal. Her first proposal. It had actually been extremely romantic, especially for Roy to pull off. She'd been 22, five years after they'd started dating. She thought he might have gotten the idea from a movie or TV show. Maybe he'd asked his mom or one of her sisters. Either way, she knew it didn't come from Roy's imagination or desire to please her.

He'd taken her to a fancy French restaurant, Chez Pierre, where a normal lunch was in the $20s, meaning dinner was in the $40s individually. He'd ordered her favorite wine, let her have whatever she wanted for dinner, and even bought her favorite dessert. Afterwards they'd taken a walk around one of the most beautiful lakes in Scranton, and then he'd dropped down to one knee and proposed. She remembered how happy she'd felt, but she also remembered that there had been a nagging voice in her head screaming no. She'd said yes anyway.

Jim's couch proposal was so much more romantic than Roy's well-planned out one. She marveled at how that could be.

She touched Jim's cheek softly, staring into his eyes. She could see a hunger there, a desire, and she knew it was for her. It made her blush slightly, seeing him look at her that way. Seeing how much he loved her, seeing how much he wanted her. And he didn't want her the same way Roy had years ago. He didn't want to just use her for his own purposes. She wasn't sure what it was, but there was a difference in his eyes. He wanted to show her something. She wasn't sure what it was, but she was eager to find out.

She leaned up and kissed him, softly, sucking on his lip lightly and pushing her tongue into his mouth, exploring his. He kissed her back, hard, his hands running up and down her sides, pulling her closer until she was on top of him, pressing hard against him. She sat up lightly and cocked her head to the side, smiling at him before kissing his neck, first quick pecks, then long, slow, open-mouthed kisses. She sucked on his skin a bit and then blew over it softly, smiling as she heard a soft moan escape him. She pushed her hands up his shirt and felt around, taking in the smoothness of his chest, the soft curls of his chest hair against her hands as she roams, her hands grazing his nipples and she sighs softly into his neck.

She pulls on his shirt and he lifts his arms in the air. She kisses the waistline of his pants, leading a trail up past his stomach, over his chest and to his mouth, pulling his shirt over his head as she does. He looks at her, grinning, trying to read her. He can feel her hands all over him, and suddenly, he thinks it's not fair. It's not fair that she gets to touch him, but he can't touch her. He lets his thumb trace patterns on her hip bone and then he moves his hands up under her shirt, cupping her breasts in his hands lightly. He squeezes softly and he hears her moan, so he runs his thumbs over her erect nipples, thinking how beautiful she must look to feel that wonderful in his hands.

She reaches her hands under her shirt and grabs his, bringing them out and placing them on the buttons of her shirt. She leans into him and nibbles on his ear lightly, moaning softly into it. Suddenly, he realizes where this is going. She sits back up and takes his hands, helping him undo the buttons and he knows he has to say something. He has to talk to her. He's getting dangerously close to the point of no return.

"Pam," he says, and his voice is husky with arousal. She looks at him and grins, and as much as he wants to kiss her, to pull her in and watch her come for him, he knows he can't. Not without making sure she knows. "I didn't propose to you because I wanted sex."

"I know," she states, and kisses his neck again, nibbling on it lightly. She sucks on his adam's apple and he can feel his heart racing, the breaths coming faster, shallower. She runs her hands down his chest and pushes them through the waist of his pants, gasping when she feels him hard beneath her. She's never felt him before, and he feels so good in her hands. She squeezes lightly and he smiles, his head falling back slightly. She pulls her hands out and unbuckles his belt buckle, unbuttons his jeans and she kisses. First at his belly button, then in a soft trail down, pulling the zipper with her teeth to get better access.

He has no idea where this is coming from. He has no idea when Pam became this girl. This girl that is wild and provocative in bed. She has no idea where she came from either, but she knows it has to do with her desire to feel every bit of him, to hold every bit of him. To taste him. She pulls his pants off and then slips her hands under his boxers, moving her hand up and down, delighting in the sound of his soft gasps. He moans her name and she looks up, surprised to hear it on his lips.

"Come here…." He says softly, and she scratches her nails against him as she drags herself against his body, her mouth up to his. He pulls on the drawstring of her pants and she lets them fall to the floor, so she's sitting on top of him with nothing but her panties on, completely aware she's never been this exposed to him before, except for that night when he rescued her from herself. He runs his fingers over the line of her panties and then lets his thumb dip lower. He pulls them off quietly, and she sees his eyes go wide as he looks at her, his fingers running through the soft, curly hair. He pulls her closer to him and sends his hands between her thighs, feeling the softness of her. She's so wet, and it turns him on more than anything has before. He rubs his thumb over her clit and he feels her hips rocking softly, but she's not coming yet. He whispers in her ear, "tell me what you want." He hears her gasp softly and she looks at him with a smile so laced with every emotion he couldn't even begin to dissect it.

She whispers into his ear, "faster…" He obeys and pushes his fingers inside of her. He can hear her gasp as he does. He rubs his finger against her and she's moaning his name, softly at first, until she throws her head back and it's all he can do but not come himself. She leans down and whispers in his ear when she's done coming. "I need you. Now."

He flips her over on her back and smiles, taking his dick in his hand and pushing it against her opening lightly. He makes his way into her, and he can see her grimace lightly, and he stops, scared he's hurting her, but she nods at him to continue, telling him she wants him. She needs him. He pushes inside her as far as he can, kissing her, trying to take away any of the pain she might feel from it. She's kissing him back, telling him to go back and forth and he does, slowly, surely. He could have gone faster, it would have helped him come if he went faster, but he knows it's not just about him, it's about her too.

She's rocking her body against him, and he touches her face, bringing her eyes to look at him as he pushes and pulls inside of her. Soon, he feels her closing in on him and letting go, and he knows she's almost there. He moves faster inside of her, and she calls his name loudly, her nails digging into his back as her back arches and she's pressed against him, every bit of her touching him. He calls her name a second later and can feel himself reaching the top. His climax seems to stay longer than it ever has before, higher than it ever has before, and then it's gone. He settles against her, his breathing heavy on her skin and she moves his fingers up to take his hands in hers, lacing her fingers with his.

He takes her face in his hands, kissing her softly, still inside her. She doesn't ever want him to pull out, it feels so good. He fits perfectly inside her, and she loves the feeling of being complete. She can feel him so much a part of her in that minute she can hardly stand it. He's touching her cheek and she's so sensitive to it, she feels as if a simple kiss could bring her to orgasm again. He kisses her softly, wrapping his arms around her and he looks her up and down. She smiles shyly and he grins back at her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "You are so beautiful," he tells her, and all of a sudden, tears are coming down her cheeks. Falling fast, falling hard.

He notices and it hurts him to see her crying. He thinks for a minute that he hurt her. He went too fast, and he can't believe he was that insensitive to her. He can't believe he treated her the way that he did. He can feel his voice closing in inside of his throat when he apologizes softly, "I'm sorry…"

She looks up at him, touching his cheek. She runs her fingers through his hair, the tears still falling fast down her cheeks. "You have nothing to be sorry about," she says, the tears flowing freely but a smile plastered across her face, the kind of smile nobody could get rid of even if they tried. "That was… perfect." She says softly, and he smiles, knowing how she feels. "I never… Wow." She can hardly finish her sentence; she can hardly start her sentence she's so mesmerized by him. How beautiful his body is. How wonderful he is to wait for her, to take his time with her, to ask her what she wanted. Suddenly, it occurs to her why she's crying. She's crying because he's so perfect. He's so amazing. He's everything she always dreamed about in a man that everyone told her she couldn't have. And she's so sure of his love, so sure of their future, that all of her tears are falling out of ecstasy, out of the knowledge that she is so utterly happy, so utterly in love, that there's no way she could ever be anything different.

"I'm so in love with you," she says softly, staring into his eyes.

He smiles and stares back into hers, bringing his thumb to her eyes to wipe away the tears that are forming, "I'm so in love with you too," he says, and she reaches her thumb up, and it's her turn to wipe his tears away.

They fall asleep naked in each other's arms, both keenly aware that they just had the best sex of their lives, and both knowing without a doubt that it was not even close to the sex they would have in the future as they learned to explore each other's bodies, each other's souls. Her engagement ring feels light on her finger, a finger strong from carrying the weight of another's engagement ring years ago, and she knows without a doubt that this time it's different. He's different. They're different. And there's nothing better than being naked, completely exposed and transparent in his arms.


And that's that, folks. Review, please!