A/N: Well, folks, here it is. The last chapter. It's bittersweet for me because this is one of my favorite stories I've written, and to see it end is both sad and amazing at the same time. I've learned a lot writing it, and I think it has challenged me and changed me as a writer, so that's a great thing. I hope you enjoy it---Please tell me what you think! Oh, and fair warning, this chapter is about twice the length of the others, so yeah.

Don't own their names. Flashbacks in italics.


Jim sat at his desk, quietly staring across the room at his wife of twelve years. She'd changed so much since the day he'd met her almost twenty years earlier, and yet, she was almost exactly the same. Her hair still clung to the sides of her face in curls; she still played solitaire on the computer all day long, and she still called him Halpert, even though it didn't hold the same punch now that she was one as well. She had more lines in her forehead, a few wrinkles in the corners of her eyes. She was staring out into space, pushing her newly acquired glasses up on the tip of her nose.

She looked up then and noticed him staring and smiled lightly before mouthing a playful, 'What?' He grinned and shook his head, averting his gaze from her and down to the picture frame on his desk. They'd gone to the beach one afternoon and cuddled up on one of the beach chairs. He'd noticed about ten minutes into the cuddling that the sun had drained her and she was asleep, buried in his chest. He was squinting into the sun in the picture, his hand on her face trying to shield her from the sun's evil rays. Someone had snapped a picture, and there it sat on his desk, seven years later.

Lately, things hadn't been as rosy as they were in the first part of their marriage. He knew why. She knew why. But they both knew that they loved each other and that was larger than any fight, disagreement or disappointment they had, even this one. And this one was huge. It had characterized their relationship for the past seven or eight years, and it had almost become a way of life for them, being disappointed day after day, week after week, year after year. He knew why the wrinkles were in her forehead, and why her heart was so heavy lately, yet there was nothing he could do about it. He was so utterly hopeless he wasn't even sure how to make himself better, let alone her.

They'd been married twelve years and still no kids. It wasn't for lack of trying. They'd started trying the day Pam turned 30, three years after their marriage started. They'd tried hard, continuously. The doctors couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant, each of them were fertile separately. They'd mapped out the days where the chance of pregnancy was greatest, done every trick in the book, and yet, they still hadn't gotten pregnant.

It was a constant hassle. A constant battle. Every night they'd come home from work, have dinner, watch some T.V. and reluctantly do their duty in an effort to create a miracle baby. Every month would be filled with heartbreak as slowly, but surely, Pam's period would start, and with it, their hopes of a baby would fall onto next month. And each month would accumulate more hope and more disappointment, until finally, nine years after they began trying for their family, the months would be so full of disappointment that there seemed to be no way out.

Their relationship had been a series of negative tests, relatives rubbing an open wound, sex with an unattainable goal, bitter words and unspoken hopes and dreams. Their hearts were both breaking, more at the sight of each other than at their own want and need for a child of their own. She'd gotten pregnant three times, but each time it had seemed like she'd only managed to keep the child for a day before losing it. One time, they'd come close. She'd been approaching month three when she'd woken in the middle of the night, the sheets wet as she sobbed. He'd woken up next to her, felt the wetness of the sheet next to him and heard her loud, demanding sobs and he'd sobbed with her, pulling her into his arms. They hadn't been pregnant since. In fact, they hadn't tried for a baby for a while after that incident. She'd been so brokenhearted he didn't know what to do.

With each month getting heavier and their marriage getting darker and darker, Jim had become exasperated. He was sick of coming home every night and trying for something that would only depress her later. He was sick of the constant worry on her face, the constant fear, and the constant expectation that tonight was different. Tonight was the night. He was sick of looking forward to something that honestly didn't seem like it would ever come true. He was sick of having sex with his wife because they wanted children, not because he enjoyed her or wanted to be with her. He was sick of the constant struggle to be happy when it seemed like their entire life's happiness depended on one line or two. He was sick of it, and he told her that.

Two months ago, they'd had the most emotional fight in their marriage. He hadn't meant to fight with her; he hated fighting with her. But years and years of pent up frustrations and anger seemed to settle on his heart. She'd come home that night after grocery shopping with a face that said she was expecting something that night, and his heart had hurt. He was so sick of that face because he knew it wasn't about him anymore. It was about everything she wanted and could have had. How he wasn't good enough.

She walks in the door, a smile on her face as she sets the groceries down on the counter. He hears her and sighs softly to himself, knowing he is reacting horribly, but unable to stop it from escaping his lips. When had he become the man that dreaded when his wife came home? It isn't that he hates Pam, or that he doesn't want to be with her. He just misses her. He misses the Pam that had been around before the talk of babies; he could laugh with that Pam, cry with her, hold her, do anything and everything with her and it was all so light. This Pam was different. It was as if every minute spent was a minute they'd wasted where they could have conceived. He hated that feeling.

He gets up from the couch and walks into the room, giving her a small kiss on the cheek and moving to put the groceries up. It is funny to him that only years before a small kiss on the cheek would have been the beginning of long foreplay, ending in passionate lovemaking. Now, a kiss on the cheek was just a kiss on the cheek, and foreplay consisted of one of them saying "so, you wanna?"

She smiles at him and helps him put the groceries away, talking about her day and how she'd spent her lunch break since he had gone out with an old friend. She told him about every minute she spent without him, which he was used to. She was never the type to leave any part of her day out, and most days he appreciated that. Today, he wasn't quite so sure. She is in the middle of talking about her trip down aisle three in the grocery store, and he is half-listening, when suddenly she said something that sent his head straight up.

"And this little girl, Jim, she was so cute. She couldn't have been more than four but she was just sitting there, eating the animal crackers right out of the box, telling her mommy how she loved her more than animal crackers and I don't know, it just made me really want kids… I know I always have, but more so, I guess." She looks up at him an expectant look on her face. He can tell she half wishes he would just take her right there in the kitchen, planting a baby inside of her that she could have in four years at the grocery store, eating animal crackers out of the box and talking about love.

He smiles lightly and she looks at him funny for a moment, "Please Jim?"

He sighs. He knows he's been dreading this moment for so long, and it is such a sensitive subject he doesn't want to bring it up, but he feels like their expectations are driving a wedge between them, turning them into miserable people. "Pam, not tonight."

"Why?" she asks, and he can tell he's hurt her. Her eyes have lost all of their sparkle and her face has fallen, and she's looking at him with that face that tells him that she's heartbroken. The same face she'd looked at him with thirteen years earlier when he'd found her on her kitchen floor, near dead. It breaks his heart to see her like that, but he's convinced he's breaking both of their hearts by not saying anything.

"I'm just sick of it," he says lightly, reaching for her hand but she pulls it back.

"Sick of sex with your wife?" She asks, interrupting him, and he knows she's pissed and hurting. He looks at her, wanting so badly to correct her, but knowing he can't.

"Kind of," he replies softly. "I'm sick of trying night after night to have a baby and being disappointed. I'm sick of having sex because we want kids and not because we love each other."

"What are you saying?" she asks, tears forming in her eyes."You don't love me?"

"That's not what I'm saying," he replies, his voice rising a bit at the frustration that misunderstanding brings to this situation. "I love you, and I want to have babies with you, but Pam, that shouldn't be our entire life. I just feel like we've been doing this whole trying to get pregnant thing and we haven't had a chance to stop and enjoy each other. It's always 'try this' or 'do that' or 'do you think that was it?' and I just get so frustrated because I just want to enjoy you for you, not for the possibility of you being the one to carry my child."

She's silent for a moment, staring a hole into his skin. He can feel the burn from her stare, and since she's not saying anything, he's getting nervous. He hates silence, so much so that he'll say anything to break it. "And I don't know, Pam. It's been what, nine years since we started trying? I'm not a doctor but I know that's a hell of a long time. And it just hurts. I'm sick of the disappointments, and I'm sick of seeing your face so downcast and sad when you come home and you've had your period. It breaks my heart."

She's still staring at him, and he almost doesn't know what to do. Her entire forehead is scrunched up and tears are forming in her eyes, but she's not letting them fall. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she's leaning against the counter in her upset-pissed stance that he knows so well. She's putting up a wall, he can tell, but he can't stop talking. He just keeps going. "I think it's time to give up," he says softly, and he knows he just stabbed her heart. He knows he just killed her, and yet, he doesn't regret saying it. He can feel the pain she's feeling and he doesn't even know how to lessen it. "It's just been so long… It's not going to happen, Pam. We should just look into adoption or something."

She's crying now, and he knows it's because he just wrecked her world. He's just tired. He's exhausted from watching her so sad and upset every day, and he can barely remember the last time she was happy. "I want to have babies with you," he says softly, touching her arm and this time she doesn't pull away. He's not sure if it's because she doesn't want to, or if it's because she's frozen in place and is too lazy to move. "I just can't do this anymore. It's too painful."

She's staring at him with a look that scares him more than anything. The look makes him doubt her love and her commitment, and he feels horrible for doing so, but there's something about the cold stare that makes him half-believe that he just ended their marriage. He knows it's a silly thing to think because she loves him, deeply, but the look pierces him.

"I'm not ready to give up," she says softly, choking the words out. "Jim, it's all I've ever wanted. And it's not happening." She's sobbing now, her tears falling down her face and he wants to hug her and hold her close, but he can't do that anymore. He's too exhausted to do that.

She's still crying, and he looks down at his feet, watching her crying is almost too much to bare, even the sounds are turning the knife in his heart. The tears last a while longer, and when she looks up, she sees his eyes staring at their feet.

"Make dinner." She says softly, walking out of the room, her eyes on her feet, small sobs escaping her. He watches her go up the stairs and for a moment, he feels like collapsing, knowing he just ruined the only woman he's ever truly loved.

He walks over to the stove and begins cooking her favorite meal, hoping the comfort food will settle her down slightly. He knows that she understands him and what he's saying, even if she doesn't agree with it. When the food is done, he knocks on their bedroom door lightly and she comes downstairs. They eat their meal in silence, each avoiding the glances of the other, unsure of what to do or say.

She breaks the ice a moment later, when they've both been finished eating for several minutes, but the tension in the air is so thick neither of them could move if they tried.

"Okay, Jim," she says softly, and he looks up at her, unsure of what she's talking about. "Call the agency tomorrow," she says softly, playing with her fork.

"Pam…" he says, not even sure himself of what he's going to say next, but luckily, he doesn't have to be. She interrupts him right away.

"No, Jim… You're right. It's not working, and it's not going to work this way and that's… That's okay. I've always wanted to adopt kids, but I wanted to wait until after we had one of our own… I guess we'll just forego my first step." She smiles weakly at him, locking eyes with him as he looks up at her. He can feel the weights being lifted off his chest as he stares into her eyes, knowing that she understands the problem at hand. He suddenly realizes that she's known this all along, she just needed someone to say it out loud to her, to really break her heart. He realizes that the only reason this lasted as long as it did was because they were doing it for each other.

"Jim, I miss you." She says, and her voice is almost strong. She gets up out of her chair and walks over to him, her chin resting on his lap as she looks up at him. "I miss you." He nods, knowing what she means, willing himself to answer her, to say it back, but he can only nod.

She leans up and kisses his neck softly, nibbling on it as she whispers in his ear, "Make love to me." He looks at her, his eyes wide. She smiles and kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear, "like the night you proposed. Make love to me like you did that night." He smiles and for the next hour and a half, he fulfills her wish.

His computer dinged softly, pulling him from his daydream, and he looked up to see an instant message from his favorite person in the world. Since that night two months ago, things for them had changed drastically. They'd called the adoption agency in the morning, putting their name in for consideration of adoption. They hadn't been called back yet, but the woman assured them that they would hear back soon, and was pretty positive that soon they would be welcoming a child into their home. Pam had seemed happier at the news, and Jim had been working longer hours in order to save up more money to go toward the fund of making her happy. All seemed to be going well.

PHalpert: I need to talk to you. It's important.

HalpertJ: Uh oh. Did I leave the oven on again? Or did I forget to shut the garage door?

PHalpert: Jim, now is not the time for your jokes.

He stopped, looking at the screen with a perplexed expression. She sounded so serious it almost made his heart skip a few beats. She'd never been this serious with him before, and he couldn't think of anything that could possibly be going on that would make her this serious. All he knew was that she was acting strange. Really, really strange.

PHalpert: You there? Please, let's go out for dinner tonight.

HalpertJ: Okay… Should I be worried?

PHalpert: I don't think so.

He sighed and watched as she closed out of the IM window, and he mimicked her, doing the same. His mind was whirling with thoughts of what her "important" matter could be, but he couldn't find anything that didn't make him sweat up a storm. Things had been so good for them lately. Their future seemed so bright with the prospect of adopting, and they'd rekindled some of the love and passion that had seemed to dip below the surface the last few years as they tried so hard to conceive. He had fallen in love with her all over again, and he knew it was because they were focused more on each other instead of this object that was supposed to be the symbol of love. They didn't need a symbol, they just needed each other.

He called a few clients, played a small prank on Dwight, and heard Pam's laughter from across the room before it was time to go. At 4:45, he rose slowly out of his chair, grabbing his jacket and briefcase, and walked over to reception where his wife sat. He slowly reached out his hand for her, and she smiled, taking it. They made small talk all the way to the restaurant, each of them nervous about the talk that was going to take place that night. Jim hadn't thought of where he was taking Pam, but for some reason, he didn't worry. He seemed to drive on autopilot to Cugino's, and when they pulled up, he could hear her chuckle lightly and whisper a soft "of course" under her breath.

They sat eating their meal. He had almost finished his chicken when she piped up, dabbing her lips with her napkin. "So, I have some news." She smiled, and his fears and worries of what this "important" thing could be seemed to disappear.

"Okay." He said, putting his fork down and giving her his entire attention, smiling back at her.

"I got a phone call this morning," She starts and stops, waiting for his smart aleck response.

"You're a receptionist," he points out.

There it is. She continues, "From an old friend who works at a huge law firm. You may have heard of it. Thompson, Mercer and Gilligan?" He nodded, remembering that they specialized in real estate law. She continued, hardly paying him any attention. "Well, they offered me a job there."

His eyes went wide. "Wow."

"Yeah," she replied, smiling. "It's double the pay I get at Dunder-Mifflin, and I would be able to work only part time at the office, which means I could work at home and do art while I'm working. It's kind of a strange gig. I would answer the phones in the morning before their other receptionist came in for the afternoons, but then I could work at home doing some email correspondence and setting up appointments and such. If I finished early or ran out of work, I could work on my art or clean the house or call you and badger you." She smiled and winked at him, and he sat staring at you.

"Wow," he replied, knowing he'd only repeated what he'd said earlier.

"You're disappointed," she said, her face falling. "Why are you disappointed, baby?"

He shook his head lightly. "I'm not, I'm really, really happy for you. It sounds like a great opportunity, and you know I've always wanted you to focus more on your art. It really sounds great."

"…but," she said, looking at him concerned, yet smiling at the same time.

"But I'll miss you at the office," he replied.

"I'll miss you too," she said softly. "But I can call and email… I haven't accepted the job yet, I can say no. It's no problem. I'd give up anything to be with you, you know that." She looked at him softly, and he could tell she meant it.

"No," he smiled, reaching for her hand. "This is great news for you. It's seriously what you've always wanted, and you know I want everything for you. I'd give you the world if I could. So, call them back tonight and tell them you'll take it. There's not a minute to lose, dahling," he said, drawing out the last word like he was a southern gentleman.

She laughed softly, "I love you." He smiled, nodding back at her in what she knew was an acknowledgement, and an agreement, of what she'd already said. They finished their dinner and drove home. Jim wandered into the kitchen to start on the dishes while Pam changed, and when she came back downstairs, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, smelling him.

"Mmm." She murmured, and he smiled, knowing the affect he had on her. "I have an idea," she said, and he put his hands over hers, as if to tell her to continue. "We should watch our movie tonight."

"Our movie," He replied, laughing. He knew what movie she was talking about, but the fact that she had called it their movie struck him as somewhat funny.

"Jerry Maguire," she stated, pouting. He knew it was just for show.

"Ahh," he said, turning around in her arms. "I believe that's actually TriStar's movie." He tapped her nose and she grinned, leaning up and kissing him lightly. He smiled. "You put it in and get the popcorn ready; I'll go change."

She nodded and they reluctantly broke apart, heading their separate ways. Five minutes later they were laying on the couch, making fun of the classic movie. Their hands entwined, Pam knew Jim was waiting for the same line she was. The "you complete me" line that seemed to say it all. They always made a big deal of that line, mocking it whenever they got the chance, both knowing that nobody should be expected to complete another person. As it got nearer, their hands instinctively hugged tighter, until finally it came. They sat in anticipation, and then when Tom opened his mouth, they both cried out, feigning emotional depth, "You complete me." She could feel his laughter as his stomach moved against her back and she smiled to herself, knowing that her life was perfect.

When the credits rolled, she stared at the TV for another moment or so before she turned over in his arms, their stomachs touching. She leaned up and kissed Jim, staring at him for a moment before smiling.

"Are you going to propose?" She asked softly, giggling to herself.

"Nope," He smiled, pulling her closer. "I'm just gonna look at you."

She laughed and let him look at her for a moment, and when he leaned in to kiss her a moment later, she didn't do anything but kiss him back. She took a break from kissing and simply let her lips rest on his. She smiled against his lips and then whispered into his mouth, "We're pregnant, Jim."

He pulled back, looking at her for a moment. "What?" He asked, no expression on his face. "Are you sure? Are you kidding?"

"I'm not kidding," she said softly. "I kind of thought maybe I was, but I didn't go to the doctor because I didn't want to be disappointed…" She looked down at their hands for a moment, then back up to his eyes. "I went today during our lunch break, that's where I disappeared to…"

"Yeah, you left me to have lunch with Michael.At Hooters," Jim said curtly, as if her transgression earlier was so unforgiveable that even the baby news wouldn't make absolve her of her sins.

"Sorry about that," she smiled. "But, the doctor confirmed it. Two months."

"Wow," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Better." She smiled up at him. "I feel like this one is actually it… I had some doubts about the ones before, but this one feels right."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. "Wait, two months?"

She smiled, nodding slowly. "You mean… That night we…" He said, trailing off. She nodded again, slower this time.

"Amazing what can happen when you just make love, huh?" She smiled, and he laughed, kissing her. He held her softly, dreaming of all of the things his future could bring, with a wonderful wife and a child on the way. He thought of Pam's new job, her chance to do what she really wanted to do. He thought of their past, and it seemed like the future was only getting brighter.

He dreamed of the child that sat nestled safely inside Pam. He thought of how little he or she must be. He decided it was girl, it would have to be. He thought of the beautiful curls she would have, the expressive eyes, and the gorgeous smile. He thought about how she would be a jokester, like her father, and a fighter, like her mother. He thought about how he would take her on dates, show her how men should treat their women. He thought about the late nights he would have, feeding her and changing her diaper, the times he'd push her on the swings, how he'd tuck her into bed, and all of the art that would decorate his fridge. He thought about the Christmases when she would rip off the wrapping paper, the Thanksgivings where she would eat all of the turkey, her birthday parties and her graduation, her wedding and her children. All that his life would entail now that a little miracle was waiting to come shake it upside down.

He should have assumed that things wouldn't turn out as planned, but he didn't. His entire life had been a series of unplanned occurrences, of shattered hopes and dreams that were only glued back together again, even more beautiful with the light that shined through the cracks. He should have known his future would be different, but he didn't.


"Daddy! Daddy!" The words echoed through the house as soon as he opened the door, and he smiled to himself as six little feet and two bigger ones came running over to him. He smiled and kissed Pam softly, taking in the natural beauty that radiated from her messy hair, jeans, and finger-painted face. She smiled at him, one of those smiles that he could feel down in his toes, and he knew she was happier than she'd ever been. He leaned into kiss her again, but felt tiny hands tugging at his pants, and he bent down, looking at his children.

"Hi!" He smiled, putting his arms out for a hug as his children tottered into them. He looked back at them, smiling as he took in how beautiful they were. The twins, Bella and Joshua, were four now, and growing so big each and every day. They looked nearly identical to Pam, so much so that he sometimes wondered if there was something she should tell him. They had curly honey blonde hair, huge smiles and bright eyes. Bella had inherited her mother's eyes, while Joshua had inherited his. He laughed when he saw how they were dressed, Bella in Johsua's army pants with a toy gun attached to her waist and Joshua in Bella's Snow White dress. Jim laughed and rolled his eyes, hoping it was just a phase.

"They were fighting over it," Pam said, smiling as she watched Jim's reaction. "I told them they could switch for five minutes and then that was it." He nodded, glad to know there was a reasoning behind the cross-dressing his twins had undergone.

He turned to the other little girl that had toddled into his arms, the quieter of the bunch. She looked nothing like Jim or Pam with her jet-black hair and bright green eyes, but they loved her just as much. Two years after the twins had been born, they'd received a call from the adoption agency, congratulating them on making it to the top of the list. They'd sent pictures of a few children to the house, and although Pam and Jim had their hands full with the twins, they couldn't resist adding to their happy household. They'd picked Maya, bringing her home the next week and before they'd even got her to the house, they'd fallen in love with her.

She grinned up at him and stuck her arms out, and he picked her up in his arms, holding her as he stood up. "Hi miss Maya papaya." She giggled and he smiled at her.

The twins were running around his feet, chasing each other in a game of tag. Pam looked at them, "Bella, Josh, stop it." They stopped in their tracks and looked up, confused as to why they couldn't run around like they did all day. Pam stepped closer to Jim, sandwiching Maya into a hug before looking back at the twins, "Okay, you can run now." She laughed softly and reached her hands up, cupping Jim's face, and kissed him softly.

"I've missed you, baby." She smiled, patting Maya's back.

"I missed you too," he said, glad to be home.

She smiled and took his hand in hers. "Bella and Josh put on a play at school this afternoon. It was really cute." He smiled, knowing his face was lighting up at the sound of his miracles. "And this one," she pointed at Maya, bopping her on the head lightly and smiling when Maya giggled, "made cookies with her cousin Charlotte this morning while Mommy was at work."

Jim smiled. "Mmmm!" he made the noise in Maya's ear, causing her to giggle. "Yummy Yummy Yummy!" He made a face at Maya and she grinned, kissing him on the cheek.

"What about you?" he turned back to Pam, smiling. Her face lit up, and he wasn't sure why she was so excited he'd asked because he did it every day, but for some reason whenever he did, she lit up. She could never put into words how much she loved that he made her more than just the twins and Maya's mother. She was always Pam with him. Pam the mother, Pam the wife, Pam the artist, Pam the lover, Pam the best friend. He truly understood all of her, not just the little things about her.

"I finished an art piece while Maya was napping. I called the gallery and I need to take it by there tomorrow morning before I pick up the twins. They might put it in the gallery." Jim beamed, and she smiled in response, knowing how immensely proud of her he was. "Mostly though, I was just in love with you."

"All day long?" he asked, teasing her. "That must be exhausting."

She laughed. "It is, but it's so worth it." She smiled, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen, being careful to step in between the twins. She opened the oven and pulled out dinner, calling the twins as Jim took Maya to wash up.

As he watched his children running around in anticipation for dinner, he couldn't help but smile. His life was hectic and completely different from what he'd thought it would be thirty years ago, but as he approached his sixteenth anniversary with Pam, he knew he wouldn't want it any other way. He marveled at how beautiful it was that she could look just as gorgeous at forty five as she had at twenty five, and he knew it had nothing to do with her looks. There was something inside of her that caught him, pulled him into her in a way he couldn't describe.

The beauty of their relationship was in the unordinary. They were by no means the conventional couple, and they didn't have the conventional lifestyle, but they were always growing and changing, learning to depend on each other, even when times were rough. They'd taken the shattered parts of their lives and leaned on one another, relying on each other to help heal and mend the broken parts. They would constantly teach and mold each other, but they would never, ever complete each other. Because as they reminded themselves countless times over the years of their marriage, you couldn't expect anyone else to complete you. You had to complete yourself, and only then could you ever be happy.


I hope you liked it. The story, and this chapter. Just a quick note. I nanny for three year old boy-girl twins. I found out the other day that their parents had been married for almost fifteen years before they'd gotten pregnant, and I can just see how much that long wait has affected the way they view their children and each other--they're so in love with each other and the twins it's ridiculous... I stole their story to end this one because I've been trying to communicate how life can be messed up, but still be good, and I think their story does that. So, I hope you enjoyed it. :) And I promise, I don't COMPLETELY hate Jerry Maguire! That one line just rubs me wrong.

Please review and let me know what you think!!!