Disclaimer: All Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle characters are (c) CLAMP.

Title: Collide
Rating: PG13 (Will go up as chapters progress)
Pairing: Kurogane x Fye, Ashura x Fye
Warnings: Language and violence.
Spoilers: None
Status: In Progress
Word Count: 4,974
Summary: The group arrive to a world where desert predominates. With no water and Mokona unable to use his magic, what are they to do? Things get complicated when someone from Fye's haunted past appears and tells the Ceres' magician that he possesses power that can unlock secrets beneath the sand. What happens when this individual has more interest in Fye? Will Kurogane care enough to step up?

Author's Note:
If you thought that Collide could not get more angsty... think again!
This chapter contains death, if you're softhearted, scroll down or wait for the next chapter to be posted up; however, have in mind that there's always light at the end of the tunnel ;)

Written with the help and inspiration of the song "Fix You" by Coldplay- which could be interpreted as Kurogane's P.O.V. of what is happening in this chapter. No, I'm not turning Collide into a songfic, but it adds a nice effect to it.

A box of Kleenex recommended for sappy readers.

Even made me teary eyed while writing it, since I also have lost someone precious to me.

Collide

Chapter 5: Requiem

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

-Fix you by Coldplay

It had come unforgiving and sudden. Sleep was snatched from him in such alarming way he, only for a brief moment, had forgotten where he was.

It had been a sharp, forced gasp and a cry from the magician, who now lay writhing in pain, the cause of such alarm. Even though he had expected it to happen, it still took him by surprise. Suddenly it had felt as if time was swiftly snatched from his hands and advanced at an unnerving speed.

Kurogane swiftly crawled to Fye's side and held his body still. It was cold and trembled with no control under his touch, which frightened him. He tightened his grip on him, trying to ease him so he wouldn't hurt himself.

"Oy! Mage, mage!" his voice was drowned by the choked cries of pain coming from the blonde's mouth. It was a desperate cry filled with agony Kurogane wished he didn't hear coming from someone like Fye.

His teeth bared and his jaw tightened in apprehension. He could feel his eyes beginning to sting with tears he would not acknowledge.

Fye's eyes opened wide, and his back arched underneath Kurogane's almost as if the waif had been possessed by some alien power. His gasps were fast and extremely forced, no amount of air he breathed in gave him enough oxygen for his painfully collapsing lungs.

His eyes began rolling back to his head, eyelids began to flutter close and his body became horribly limp.

Kurogane panicked.

"NO! Wake up, wake up!" he griped him hard and shook him violently, receiving little, to no reaction from Fye. He saw his blue eyes trying to focus on him, their color turning from that beautiful vibrant color to a very dark opaque.

All shine slowly diminishing from them.

Kurogane held his breath; red eyes wide-open and strong hands tightening around Fye's shoulders when the mage looked at him straight in the eye. It felt like an eternity the time he looked at those beautiful, blue eyes and pale features. Why time decided to move so slow all of a sudden, was unknown to him- but maybe it was one of the graces death granted you. That last moment before the end, where you can finally appreciate life and what you're about to lose.

A small, sad smile, honest and beautiful in every way, traced Fye's lips. A gaze that held so much longing, regret and sadness the ninja was never granted to see, spoke volumes that the blonde was never brave enough to speak; for fear of rejection.

"Ku…ro."

Fye's last breath was the ninja's name, coming out in an endearing whisper as life finally faded away from him. His eyes lost all shine and remained half open and staring straight at the ninja.

Kurogane could do nothing but look. He remained staring at those lifeless eyes, until his hands began trembling and he remembered to breathe once more. It came in a sharp, chocked sob.

"No."

His shoulders trembled and his head bowed down. Warm forehead pressed against Fye's. Pain constricted his heart and sudden pressure befell on his chest. Sadness. Sorrow. Grief. Distress. Anguish. Misery. Unhappiness. Regret.

Anger.

He turned to the smelling salts with abandon; doing the same he did not long ago to bring the man back to his bearings. He needed to do something, anything to snap him out of that sleep. It was only another episode; he will be just fine; he just needed to rest. He will wake up and he will find the doctor telling him he was getting better. They will soon move out of this damned world and find the next feather.

It had no effect.

"HELP! SOMEONE!" he cried out in desperate attempts to be heard and help could reach them in time. He pressed his ear to Fye's chest, trying to calm his fast heart so that he could trace any life signs from the mage.

"Please, don't do this to me, now…"

His blood ran cold when he heard none.

He removed himself from on top of Fye and looked at his alarmingly still form. He bit down on his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, his hands trembled and he swallowed against the thick lump that formed in his throat. It was becoming hard to breathe for him. His chest was tight and it felt as if an incredible weight had been pushed down on it.

He was alarmed. So many thoughts were going through his mind like a mad rapid. He couldn't collect himself or think straight; however he did the best thing he could do then.

"DAMMIT! SOMEONE, HELP!"

He shook his head in denial of what was happening and placed strong hands against the still-warm chest of the pale man. The skin was still warm; the blood could still be pumped into the heart if he tried. He just had to give it one last try. He began to push down on Fye's chest a couple of times and then with no hesitation, tilted his head and pressed his lips to the blue ones and breathed in for him.

He needed for him to start breathing again.

Come on, breathe…

He pushed down again on the chest in hopes to bring him back.

"I'm not giving up on you- don't you fucking dare give up on me! You heard me!?"


Unable to reconcile sleep, the lone pharaoh found himself once more in front of the sacred lake. Here was where his priests purified themselves before speaking to the gods or performing any spiritual rituals and events. Here it was where he had stepped that fateful night to find himself in front of the most beautiful being that ever drew breath and graced the earth with its touch.

Ashura kneeled before the stone steps of the ever-blue pool and reached a hand to hover above the still water's surface. He could almost see him. Could almost feel him under his touch; the soft sensation of silken golden hair underneath his fingertips and the warmth of his soft skin.

He could almost see him. Just in front of his eyes, like a mirage fooling a weary traveler after miles of heated sand-travel. Just in front of him, asleep on the steps of the sacred pool.

Time and time again he would come to this steps. It called to him, and he obeyed like a single-minded slave. He was knocked out of his memories when the pool began to radiate with unearthly light. It pulsated slowly, much like a beating heart; the serene darkness of the night became pitch black and the pharaoh's eyes searched for the skies, raising his head at the heavens, and found an onyx orb replacing the moon.

He stepped backwards when, after returning his gaze to the beating waters, the lake pulsated once more with intensity and exhaled a low hum,

oOoOo "NO! Wake up, wake up!" oOoOo

A voice emerged from the waters, urgent and with a tone of anxiety. It wasn't very clear and echoed continuously, just like the muffled cries and pants.

Then, silence.

His eyes widened when an image appeared in the surface of the now dangerously slow effervescent water.

Blue eyes like skies, golden hair like the sun and alabaster skin he will never forget the warmth or softness of.

The shaken pharaoh stepped forth and dared not reach towards the image in fear it would disappear. He held his breath when that painfully familiar face spoke with words not above a whisper and as frail as a butterfly's kiss.

oOoOo "Kuro. . .rin" oOoOo

Then. . . nothing.

The pool stopped reverberating and the light diminished from the sacred waters. The image faded, and Ashura knew that that life was nevermore. He could've wept in abandon like he did years ago before history repeated itself before him once more. He remembered holding in his arms the lifeless body. Remembered how much the pain hurt him and almost killed him that same night. Recalled how even months after that, he still wasn't able to come back to his bearings and became obsessed to undo it all.

Not now. Not with the power he was bestowed with will he weep. Ashura knew what he had to do and composed himself, looking at the black orb in the skies and narrowing his eyes.

One last time, he looked back at the lake where the object of his redemption lay. He removed his sandals, the jewelry and the silk clothes that covered his body; abandoned all earthly material and stepped into the cool water.


"Moko-chan, what's the matter?" the princess rubbed the sleep that lingered from her eyes and sat up slowly, looking down at the small creature.

Syaoran stirred once he heard the soft voice of his princess and a soft, muffled sound that he recognized as weeping. He stood up and crossed the room to stand by his princess' side. What could have happened?

"Princess?" he asked softly once he noticed that the muffled sobbing came from Mokona. The white creature was wiping its eyes from large beads of tears and whimpered softly. His best guess was that Mokona must've had a bad nightmare; however, he thought twice, given that in all the months of world traveling, he has never heard or seen the creature weep.

Sakura turned her worry-tainted eyes at the boy and frowned in concern, then looked down at Mokona, whom she took in her arms and cradled the creature like a child.

"Moko-chan?" There was silence for brief moments, except for the small whimpers of the still sobbing creature, and then it spoke in small whispers.

"Mokona is very sad." Tears made their way down it's cheeks.

Sakura softened her gaze before speaking even softer, "What ever is the matter?" She suspected that Mokona was only scared and saddened for Fye's current condition. It not only worried it, but Syaoran and herself as well; Fye was very dear to them. Ever since the mage fell ill, the small creature had been down and quiet.

The princess understood the feelings going through Mokona's heart, but not knowing how to console it, gave the white bundle a warm hug, whispering gentle reassurances. She was just as scared and uncertain of Fye's condition, and feared the worst, so she couldn't help heal the wound in Mokona's heart when she hasn't healed her own.

"Mokona felt empty. Something in Mokona's heart just disappeared."

"What would that be?" Syaoran inquired gently, leaning forward, supporting his weight with his hands on his knees.

Mokona hiccupped and forced itself to speak, even though it came out in a choked sob.

"Fye."


His cries for help were heeded when he heard the hurried approaching footfalls. He felt a sudden rush of relief wash over him slightly. There was still time, Fye could be saved if they hurried. They just needed to act now; he hasn't even been unresponsive for 2 minutes. He still had a chance. He could still make it through. It needed just to be now.

Right?

Soon, in came the small doctor and that annoying man from before- he didn't even know his name yet. It didn't matter how he felt towards any of those men right now, any of them could help him bring Fye back.

Kurogane's eyes narrowed dangerously when the doctor just stood there, frozen. Unimpressed.

Neither of them moved. He saw the slight shift of the other man's shoulders as they slumped and his head lowered, whispering some… prayer or whatever it was to his gods. It did not take a sharp mind to know what happened to the blond.

Kurogane glared at the smaller man and roared in molten fury and urgency, "Don't fucking stand there! Help him!" The small doctor did not take his retort lightly, furrowing his brows in disgust at the man's tone; however, he made his way to the two foreigners and kneeled by the blonde's side. He pressed two tanned fingers upon the pale neck to check for any pulse, looked at his eyes for any responsive pupil reflex, and last but not least, for any trace of breathing.

He sighed deeply and looked at Kurogane, who looked like he was about to snap any moment by the looks of his tense posture, tight jaw and darkened eyes.

"He's dead. I can't do any more for him."

Kurogane knew words were powerful, but never expected them to have such violent response on him. He literally felt them tear at his skin, muscle and bone. It sunk deep, slow and unrelenting. The ninja has also witnessed and experienced the loss of loved ones in the rages of war and knew more than well that after seeing such violence and murder, one's heart hardened. He has seen his comrades in battle hold the bodies of their friends, lives stolen from them by the tip of a sword or disease. He understood perfectly, but the way the doctor seemed to have uttered those words with such nonchalance made his blood boil.

It has never had such violent reaction on him, those words…

A strong hand curled around the man's collar and brought him close to him in a threatening manner, "You're a fucking doctor. There was to be something!" he spoke in between clenched teeth.

He could only hope that there was something, anything that could change this horrid situation. Perhaps this foreign land possessed a power strong enough to bring the dead back to life? He could only hope, they had already encountered many strange as well as wondrous things in the worlds they had traveled together so far…

The doctor remained passive and silent before adding in a cold tone that did not waver, not even in the death-like grip of the furious ninja.

"There is no remedy for death. There's nothing I can do to bring him back."

A short pause followed by a gentle "I am sorry."

Kurogane looked at him hard and his eyes then averted to the taller man that still stood next to the exit, just where he has been standing ever since he stepped in. He searched in his face for another response, for a single flash of hope that the doctor was wrong and there was something that could be done to save Fye.

The man escaped his red eyes and looked down again, unable to hold his gaze. It communicated clearly the unspoken words: there's nothing that can be done.

The ninja's grip loosened on the doctor's collar and let go. A trembling hand, whether of rage or sadness Kurogane did not know, placed gently against Fye's chest.

Funny… it was still warm.

He gritted his teeth and placed his other hand on the man's chest. He began compressing to try and help the heart to start beating again.


In hopes that Mokona would reconcile peace of mind, Syaoran opted to take him to Kurogane and Fye in the morrow, but the small creature insisted to see them right away. He knew that it was no time to visit the ill or interrupt the rest of either adult, less when Kurogane had ordered them to go to sleep. If the ninja were to get mad, he would gladly take the blame, since he was the one to offer the brilliant idea.

Nothing prepared them to witness what they would when they reached the tent.

There was complete silence. It hung painfully thick in the air, almost to the point where he thought he would choke on it. His brown eyes trailed slowly from Kurogane's red gaze to the unmoving figure of Fye.

He was too still, too still.

His eyes held no shine or smile to them and remained halfway open.

Too still.

They arrived to find Kurogane beating on Fye's chest and yelling at the man not to give up. The ninja froze when he heard them enter, and that's when the last frail thread in their hearts snapped.

It dawned on him, but everything was moving too slow, or too fast, he didn't know but in the end it left him baffled and with no time to know how to react. Dead. Fye was dead. It seemed like an eternity until Mokona's small voice broke that delicate silence, startling him slightly. It would be an understatement to say the boy was in shock.

The healer stood and slowly made his way outside, placing a hand over the shoulder of the other man to silently indicate him to leave as well, giving the children a sympathetic look before leaving them alone.

"Fye…" silence replied at the white creature, and Syaoran knew that they too had realized what the problem was. "Fye!" it jumped from Sakura's grasp and made its way to the blonde, who now lay in the ninja's lap.

"Fye, Fye, Fye!" it wept hot and fat tears of sorrow, hugging at the mage's neck and staining the now cooler cheeks of the pale face.

Syaoran bowed his head and bit his lip, almost drawing blood.

Strong, be strong. Be strong and don't cry, for them.

"Fye-san… How did this…happen?" It was not the question, they all knew that it had been the wound that killed him; yet, Fye seemed so unlikely to suffer death in such horrible fashion. In his eyes, death did not suit him, not at all. That was the hard part to take.

He looked up at Sakura, who remained alarmingly quiet and still. Her hands now hung limp against either side of her body, eyes completely unmoving and void of emotion.

"Princess…"

She did not turn to him.

"Sakura." It took the princess a moment to realize that she was being spoken to and turned slowly to look at Syaoran. Her eyes were red and filled with unshed tears. It did not take long for one to trail down her cheek.

"Syaoran." Her voice broke and her lips quivered and her beautiful face contorted into one of sorrow and pain and sock and loss. "I-." Her eyes shut close and tears fell freely, her chest quivered in small hiccups and her hands covered her face when she finally broke down into fitful sobs that filled the room.

Syaoran made his way to her and embraced his princess, who buried her face in his chest, staining his clothes with warm tears. The boy hugged her and held her close. He could not hold back the small sob that escaped his lips, or the tear that followed. He could not stop his heart from experiencing the pain of loss. Nothing could stop the brave young warrior to be what he rally was- a boy.

Kurogane watched and heard them weep. He looked down at Fye and raised a hand to his unseeing eyes and gently brushed it over his face, closing his eyes forever. He knew his body was trembling in rage and disbelief. He couldn't forgive. Couldn't forgive Fye for dying, for giving himself up on the kinds, on him. Couldn't forgive the damned quest that brought them together and shaped an uncommon bond that he grew fond of in time. Most of all, he couldn't forgive himself for not being more careful and allowing this to happen.

It was his fault.

He rose his hand from Fye's features and placed it on Mokona, realizing with a sense of sick fascination, how warm it was in comparison to Fye's skin. He comforted the small being but did not ask it to cease it's weeping, nor will he ask the princess to do so. He did not have the heart the heart to tell them to be strong and move on, because death was a natural thing and reached everyone eventually.

He couldn't ask because he knew he couldn't ask himself to cry for the loss he felt in his heart. The emptiness he felt and tore at him sharper than any blade. He found himself unable to weep. Inside, his heart was wrenched with pain and many more emotions Kurogane could not name.

He glanced at them one more time and saw the boy's face filled with determination not to weep in hopes to be a stronghold for the princess. He saw the princess in the boy's embrace and weeping with abandon and then felt the small body of Mokona tremble in sobs over the mage's body.

For the first time in his life, the strong ninja found himself unable to take all of this in. He wanted to flee the situation because he couldn't take the feeling around him and in him. He would've smiled grimly at that thought, had the situation been different and Fye were still alive, because he just realized he wanted to do what Fye had all the time: run away.

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to do such cowardly thing. The kids had lost someone very precious to them, a parental figure that showed them love and compassion. He had to swallow it all, just like Fye had and assume his own role as the father of their small family to make up for the loss. He knew he will never replace Fye, but he had to be the children's foundation or they would surely collapse.

What to do? What to say? He wasn't a very tactile person, and less when it came down to deal with overly emotional situations.

The ninja could not find the words, but that same man had a noble, warm heart.

Kurogane did what he thought was the best thing he could do now. He took Mokona and with a small sigh, embraced the creature with one hand. Mokona held onto the neck of the warrior, taking the solace gratefully, hugging fiercely and weeping harder onto the ninja's clothes.

The ninja stood and made his way slowly to the children. Syaoran looked up at him and Kurogane saw for the first time the innocence and frailty of the child in those tear stained eyes. The boy looked up at him, those amber eyes begging him for support and comfort. Kurogane closed his eyes and bowed his head slightly and placed a hand on the boy's brunette head and then trailed back and down to the boy's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

The gesture was taken better than he expected. He knew the boy was holding back for the princess and Mokona and even Kurogane, because he wanted to share the burden of being their support in such hard times.

"An idiot once told me," He began with a soft tone. "It is also strong to cry when you have to."

Syaoran's eyes widened and tears followed swiftly. He bowed his head and his shoulders shook violently. He held onto the princess tightly and he too, broke down.


The small family mourned for the departing of one of them. All wept and held each other close, except for one heart that remained broken and unresolved. The ninja could not weep because he could not accept the loss that tore him from the inside it. If only he had more time to be able to reach out to Fye…

If only the man could understand that what he felt was broken heartedness because he had fallen in love.

Kurogane had sent the kids away. They needed to breathe and think and settle their hearts' pieces back in place. He remained by Fye's side when the doctor came back to check him the body for any possible threat or infection that could spread. A dead body was just as dangerous as a live one, and Kurogane knew. The kids did not need to see how Fye's body was placed on a table, naked and discarded of the last dignity he had. Kurogane watched silently and kept all those things in his heart.

His eyes burned, his chest felt tight and there was something in his throat that made it hard to breathe. He observed as the doctor inspected the wound, digging fingers and instruments onto flesh with little care.

Blood gushed out, but instead of that vibrant, red color, it was a dark and almost black red; some of it came liquid, some came in thick lumps. Kurogane almost jumped when the doctor touched a nerve and made Fye's arm twitch. He couldn't see him anymore, not like this.

He stepped out of the tent and stood there, breathing hard and elaborate, but he couldn't stop the vile that came right up his throat. He doubled over and spilled his stomach's contents on the sand. He gasped and coughed in attempts to calm down. He composed himself and spat in disgust at the vile he could still taste in his mouth.

"Here,"

Water was offered to him and the ninja realized it was that annoying man, the one who found them in the desert and brought them here. He took the canteen offered and drank.

"I'm sorry."

Kurogane did not look at him, instead he kicked sand over the mess he created and remained silent; yet, the man continued.

"I too, have lost friends in battle and disease."

Kurogane nodded absent-mindedly. "Life is that way."

He could see the man smiling sadly and nod slowly from his peripheral vision.

"It is…"

The doctor came out of the tent, wiping his hands with a rag and looked at Kurogane.

"Luckily, the body carries no symptom that could indicate disease spreading. We won't burn it, you can burry it in the city if you wish. I know someone who could take you."

Kurogane only stood there. "Aa…" He then stepped inside the tent where Fye lay with nothing except a worn rag of a blanket to cover him from head to toe. He walked up to him and uncovered his face and torso, and noted that the doctor had been sensitive enough to sew him back up. Sewed up and ready to be buried six feet under dirt to rott away.

"This is it?" he began with a dark frown on his features, looking down at Fye as if the man could hear or answer him. The dead did not speak, hear or feel.

"This is where you meet the end of your running away? I guess you don't have to worry anymore." His voice began to get softer and softer. "You're safe now from whatever terror haunted you. You're finally free."

He could not believe that those words were his own, but at the time, he did not give it any importance.

"I wanted to understand why you were so pathetic and broken."

A pause and Kurogane tightened his fists to the point where nail bit down on flesh.

"You once told me… you were waiting for someone to take you along." He felt something warm trail down his cheek. "If only you had looked at me and realized I wanted…" His voice broke slightly. "I wanted… I was the one who would take you along." His voice was now a raspy murmur.

A droplet fell on Fye's hand, and that's when the ninja dared reach a hand to his face and realized he was weeping. He gritted his teeth, but then slumped in defeat and allowed a chocked sob escape him.

"You idiot. I wanted to take you along and teach you to live again." He allowed more tears trail down his cheeks and did not make any move to stop them. He had not allowed himself to weep after his parent's murder, and yet here he was weeping for the least likely person he thought he would weep for.

He leaned over and kissed Fye's forehead.

"Goodbye, Fye."

A shrill scream sliced over the peace and silence of dawn. Kurogane realized with sinking dread that it had been Sakura's distressed cry. He ran outside and saw devastation unleash before his eyes. An ambush. It soon bloomed into a fight.

Kurogane wiped his face and with one last glance to the tent, he broke into a sprint and made haste to where Syaoran was battling another man. Kurogane felt rage boil in his insides. He already lost someone precious to him for the second time… nevermore.

He took the blade from a fallen body and attacked the man before he could harm the boy. The man fell harshly against the sand. Kurogane kicked him hard in the gut and took him by the neck, holding him up with only his arm. The man's feet were a good few inches off the ground and he gasped and tried to pry himself free.

Kill you… I'll kill you for trying to harm him!

He positioned his blade and decided… curse or no curse, he did not care anymore.

TBC…


A.N.

Don't kill me! I said in the beginning that this was a KxF fanfic… if there hasn't been any KxF so far, that means that it does not end here! This actually has a happy ending!

What did you think? I hope the time my wonderful readers waited was worth it (hey, it's longer than the previous chappie).

Took me a while to try and put this together without completely raping Kurogane off his In-Characterness xD This is a fanfic, after all, and I'm the author! Ohohoho.

Please read and review. I love to know what you think and feel. Also, makes me happy that someone actually reviews and does not just read and leave. It makes me cry ; - ;

Until next chapter!

Elenath